Lack of emotional permanence. Everytime you feel something, even if its on a daily basis, it’s like its for the first time. “I’ve never hurt this much”, “i can’t remember feeling this angry”…
This is why our breakdowns are ever catastrophic. This is why we always think you’re gonna leave… Because to us, in that moment, it’s ‘never been that bad’… It doesnt matter how self aware you are. And the guilt that comes after? Intolerable. indescribable and completely overwhelming.
For @arabella719 Thank you for the kind words, I loved
Based on prompt request “Hi, i was hoping you could do some
Elriel stuff (possibly fic if u feel like it), maybe a modern au ( or canon
Velaris) where they go on a date in the
city, and nothing goes according to plan, but they have tons of fun none the
less, and like the spontaneity. then one comforts the other saying they had a
great time despite all the twists and turns, and it sure was memorable.
- - - - - - -
To say that Azriel was nervous was a gross understatement.
In his five centuries of existence he had never taken a girl on a date. Rhys
laughed himself hoarse when Azriel had confessed he had no idea what to plan or
even expect. Oh and plan he did. He was fairly certain implementing strategies
of battle was far easier than planning a day full of orchestrated events around
Their day was to start with brunch at a favorite bistro of
Rhys’s. Followed by a private tour of the botanical gardens. He had no idea
that such gardens existed. He then booked dinner at a known high scale restaurant
followed with tickets to one of Cassian’s favorite musicals.
When he told Nuala what the plans of the day were, it was
the first time he feared for his life. She mumbled many obscenities under her
breath, he was sure he caught clueless male and this is worse than Rhys requesting
that Feyre looking like a regal whore.
After his encounter with Nuala he almost cancelled, but this
was Elain. He barely slept the entire night thinking this was his one chance
and after years of maintaining spy networks he was not going to fail pulling off a
The next morning he was dressed in his typical black. He was
almost ready to pick up Elain, at least he thought he was before Nuala turned
his ass around instructing him to wear any color other than black. He almost panicked,
that was the only color he owned, and for the same reason as Rhys he wore black
to conceal the shadows. His jaw dropped as Nuala dressed him in a charcoal
tunic, perfectly cut to his frame.
Azriel knew that had not been in his closet this morning. He
was more surprised when he noticed that the charcoal brought out not only the cobalt
in his siphons but his hazel eyes became his defining facial feature. Whoever
was Nuala’s designer, they were good (years later Feyre would let it slip that Rhys was Nuala’s secret designer).
Finally he was ready to pick up Elain. His palms were
sweating as he knocked on the door of the town house. He knew Elain was
beautiful but today she was stunning. The jewel-toned cobalt dress brought out
the warmth of her brown eyes. Nuala had done her job well, they looked like a
perfectly matched pair.
After the normal pleasantries their date had started. He led them through the city only to learn
that the bistro was closed for remodeling. Actually the whole row of restaurants
and shops in this row were closed for remodeling. Azriel cursed under his
breath as Elain giggled at the situation. “It’s fine, let’s walk until we find
someplace else to eat.”
They walked and chatted until they found a little bistro. In
his nervousness he missed all the signs that the bistro was not for them. Their
blends were not of the coffee sort, more of the blood sort. Luckily the barista
already knew that high fae and Illyrians typically did not drink blood and
pointed them across the street. Two simple lattes and blueberry muffins later
they were on their way to the private tour of the gardens.
Azriel should have known that the next part of the date was
also going to be a failure when the curator was waiting outside for them.
Something about a sudden infestation of spider mites that they needed to
quarantine, the gardens were closed until further notice. He had no idea what a
spider mite was, but he knew what a mite was and he like all Illyrians hated
spiders. Elain laughed herself hoarse when she learned that it was not just
Rhys that feared the eight legged horrors the cauldron created. As they walked
towards the city palaces, Azriel was surprised by the mischievous grin on Elain’s
Before he could stop himself, “what are you planning?”
“Oh, just how exactly I am going to blackmail Cassian.”
“What exactly are you going to blackmail him with?”
“Could you imagine what havoc that will be wreaked when
Nesta learns of Cassian’s fear of spiders?”
They laughed and talked as they strolled through the palaces
waiting for the dinner reservation. Oh yes the dinner reservation he had gotten
wrong. He thought their reservation was at 5:30, no it was a 7:30, the same
time as the musical.
Elain laughed it off and said that they could go to Eliza’s
their typical restaurant, Eliza would always make room for them and she did.
Fully stuffed full of wine and food, they ventured to the theater.
Azriel loosened a breath as they took their seats. Finally,
finally the cauldron blessed him with something that went right. So he thought,
Mother’s tits he was going to kill Cassian. He was sure he told him it was a
date, a date with Elain. Human born and conservative Elain. He quickly sent a
shadow to Rhys, he signed in relief as his brother responded opening that
bridge between them Cassian suggested
Cabaret, can you fake a work emergency? His brother merely laughed and
wished him the best of luck.
After the play they quietly walked back to the town house.
As they reached the door, Elain turned to him “Thank you for a lovely day.”
Azriel knew she was being polite, this date had been a disaster.
- - - - - - -
Years later cuddling in front of their fireplace they would laugh at
the memories of that very first date. Even though nothing went the way Azriel had
planned, it still held a special place in her heart because it was the first
day that she knew she would heal. That night as they walked home he missed that
she had taken off the iron ring she had worn and opened her heart to him.
Smol birb! He’s still weak, but after observing him for a few days, here’s his current status. He eats well, but I have had to syringe him some water because he doesn’t drink much to keep him hydrated. His wing is still in bad shape and I’m afraid he’ll never fly again, but a few feathers have started to grow in except in the really bad areas. He’s starting to attempt to climb but he fails since he’s still weak. But at least he moves around more. Let’s pray for his speedy recovery! I’m between the names Maria (if a girl, also the hurricane was called Maria so it’s kinda appropriate I think?) or Mario if it’s a boy (Mario + Yoshi, get it? ;D)
Honestly he needs to go to a vet so he can be checked out properly but I still don’t have the funds. For those who want to donate, I’ll put my email down below! I’ll show his progress including visits to the vet once I get enough funds for his visit and treatment! Thank you SO much for all the support and kind messages this little guy has received, I am eternally grateful!
Recap: My island, Puerto Rico, got severely hit by Hurricane Maria and we’re facing our biggest catastrophe in a century and it’s turning into a humanitarian crisis, too. Communications are down (except in some areas where I have found signal miraculously), there is no power, no gas, no gasoline, and almost everything is closed. There are no shelters available for avians that I know of and there are no communications to find out. I am currently jobless due to the hurricane. After the storm passed, I saw this bird in my father-in-law’s home, and I couldn’t leave him to die. So in spite of my problems, I took him in and I want him to get better against all odds. Help him recover by donating below!
In Puerto Rico, as of right now our government and the main agency in charge of generating electricity for our island have straight forwardly told us that we will go, at the very least, 6 months without any power without taking into consideration the inevitable damage Irma is bound to bring about.
our roads are incredibly prone to flooding and most of the towns situated in the mountainous regions are in very real danger of being incommunicated for that same amount of time, maybe even more depending on how long the restoration takes. when we say this’ll be catastrophic for our island and the people in it we are not, in any way, fucking around.
It’s recently set up so we don’t have much things yet - but our leader has uploaded a preview of what to expect soon for the manga so :DDDD
Thought I should give a little heads-up about it and y’know get things moving. If you guys have been following this blog for the OnS scanlations, and were also asking about whether or not I’ll typeset/edit for the Guren LN too - well here ya go! ^^
Chapter 1 is nearly done, and after that we’ll just have Chapter 2 left!!! We hope you look forward to it!
I was wondering what your opinion on the whole gal gadot / Wonder Woman debate is? you totally don't have to answer I was just curious since you're Israeli, and I'm ignorant when it comes to that topic tbh, so I don't know which side to believe
it’s complicated. there are two main issues i’m aware of, and i’m gonna try to reply to both of them:
1. gal having served in the idf - this is the one that’s the easiest to reply to. military service is mandatory in israel (there are very few exceptions - for instance, arab israelis don’t have to serve, and people with medical/mental disabilities don’t either - which is why i didn’t/don’t serve but do national service instead - but many people volunteer to serve anyway). the overwhelming majority of people who serve in the army don’t do anything that involves shooting at people. most of it is boring administrative work (israeli movie zero motivation illustrates that very accurately). gal was never involved in any fighting, she served because that’s the law here.
2. gal being proud and supportive of idf - that’s the one that’s the most controversial. and the hardest to explain. since military service is mandatory by law here, over the years it became a huge HUGE social taboo thing to speak against idf - because everyone’s served there, everyone’s family members and friends did, there’s this whole “these soldiers are our collective children” mentality going on in the israeli society. that’s why issues like the elor azaria incident cause such a HUGE, massive, seriously unexplainable rift/aggressive and passionate discussion in the israeli society - with the words “elor is everyone’s kid” being thrown around often. and outsiders have a really hard time understanding this because most countries don’t have mandatory service. i imagine when most of you imagine soldiers you imagine some egotistical jocks hell bent on showing the world how manly they are, or some shit. in israel, the word “soldier” is associated with 18 year old boys and girls, fresh out of high school, thrown into a never ending war because it’s the civil duty to do so. and that mentality is as deeply ingrained in gal as it is in most israelis. when she said she supports idf, i’m nearly 100% certain that what she had in mind is those 18 year olds who are everyone’s children. not some adrenaline junkies who want to shoot up people, which is again is what i imagine soldiers are perceived as in other countries.
as for my personal viewpoint? idf does shitty things. idf killed many, many innocent civilians. still does. i’m on the “elor azaria is a murderer” side of that specific issue. my opinions are highly unpopular in the current social climate in israel, but they are what they are and i stand by them. BUT. my highschool friends all went to the military (most still haven’t finished their service). my brother is in the military still, he’s doing an extended program which involves academic studies - he basically does HR/social work. none of them have ever killed anyone. they’re just doing their civil duty, because they have to by law. ALSO. the internet - and specifically, the social justice part of it - is super, super, SUPER biased against israel. because palestinians have harnessed one power they have and are using it to max effect - social media. and god knows israel’s dumb military leaders have given them TONS of ammunition against israel in the form of unnecessary civil killings and destruction. there’s nothing more powerful than that to turn the international opinion against israel. and that indeed happened. and honestly? quite rightfully so. our leadership is crap, talk of peace have felt hollow for years, they’re trying to maintain a status quo that is only dragging all of us further down into conflict hell. and one of the people who get hurt the most from that are idf soldiers who, by law, have to follow those stupid political decisions and pay the price. and thus “outsiders” attack israeli soldiers and citizens instead of our catastrophic military and political “leadership”. and thus people turn their eyes away from the crimes the palestinians do in this conflict, since they’re the underdogs.
so i’m gonna try to tl;dr that gal doesn’t actively or knowingly support the wrongdoings that the palestinians are going through by expressing her support of idf. she just supports israeli youth, who’s going through some hard shit. who have to spend days and nights away from home, and whose families miss and worry sick about. that’s 99% of what idf means to israeli people. that’s the mental conditioning in the israeli society. and it’s hard to explain to outsiders.
Do you believe in climate change? Whether you’re super pumped that we are putting ‘Americans first’ or you are absolutely outraged at the idea that we are taking yet another step backwards in dealing with a major global problem, the only way to solve this argument is to try and set your own agenda aside and see how this affects everybody. The only lie we tell ourselves is that we are more special than other life forms on the planet. Well, we’re not. Even if we weren’t responsible for any major climate catastrophes heading our way, shouldn’t we still do our part to preserve what we have left? The same way that we shouldn’t wait till our bodies break down completely to start doing the right things to stay healthy, let’s not wait till it’s too late to do something. I am not saying I am perfectly 'green’, but the first step is to keep an open mind and try to learn what you don’t already know.
Note: I originally posted this at the end of another person’s thread. I was responding to something someone said and my inner classics nerd took over and as happens on this blog a lot, my mind and my hands ran away from me. Then I started to worry that OP would think I was being rude, so I decided to delete it but since I’d spent literally an hour of my life writing it I decided to just copy-paste it as a freestanding piece of meta.
[Rambling/meta about Prequels and Greek tragedy under the cut. Disclaimer, this is just my opinion about star wars, everyone else is free to have their own opinion. I am happy to read rebuttals but please be nice.]
- what’s up buds!!!! i’m at work and it’s a slow afternoon so i’ll bother y’all instead - i’ve had a mad two weeks comprised of commissions, cons, flu, food poisoning, moving house, cat sitting, dog sitting, babysitting, and freelancing. it’s been a real Time let me tell you - learn from me, kids, your garden variety idiot; don’t take on freelance work the week before your first con, thereby forcing yourself to leave all your prep to the friday before and then eat bad sushi on the thursday night so that instead of doing the Very Important Con Things you needed to do, you spend all of the next day cancelling plans in between violent bouts of vomiting. bad move! very very bad move! - nevertheless! oz comic con was a bunch of fun, even if on the saturday i was a nauseous reanimated corpse, and on the sunday we catastrophically underestimated our stock levels and spent a lot of time under the table prepping emergency prints. we like to pretend it gave us a rustic charm (it didn’t) - everyone who put up with me long enough to say hi was a saint, particular shoutout to @anaeolist, who put up with me all weekend, @madie-cookie for dealing with my absurd printing needs, and to @1aurent & @babbity-boo who went on lincraft runs for me not once but twice. i’m submitting recommendations for all of their canonization - i slept for twelve hours on sunday night…..it was incredible - but seriously! thanks so much to everyone who came up and said hi and told me they liked my work!!! it was all thoroughly overwhelming and i’m still processing it all if i’m honest. v v v honored. it’s the first time i’ve ever put faces to any of my followers, which was totally mad. sorry if i was a bit low energy or harried, i really do appreciate all of you such an immense amount. - also if you came looking for les mis or mimon stuff i double love you. i really wasnt expecting many and y’all came out it was amazing - i’m steadily trying to get myself back into a more organised creative space. a little rough around the edges at the moment while i jump between houses and jobs, but i’ll hopefully have more stuff for you guys very soon!!! other than my own stuff i’m working on some really exciting projects that i’ll hopefully be able to share with you all soon - my life is a chaos of problems but they’re all good problems, i’ll get there. - i hope everyone is well!! if you weren’t able to get out to the con, i’m gonna do another print run and sell those harry potter bookmarks online very soon! i’ll also be selling the first volume of mimon for anybody interested. but i’ll keep y’all in the loop about all that as it happens! - kiss ur pets, water ur plants, water urselves, take a bath, get some rest, call ur grandma, be nice to service workers, & have a good week kids!
So misha said cas free will is not effect i just...have no words do they want to destroy team free will 😣
*shrugs* we haven’t seen it yet. I’m waiting to see what happens and not speculating too hard, but I think there’s a big difference between Cas acting like he’s possessed or mind controlled and doing things ~of his free will~ but on behalf of the nephilim after a abrupt turn of priorities. Ever since Dean made such a big fuss about Cas being mind controlled in 12x20 I’ve been certain when they encounter him again it’s going to play very contrary to that just to prove Dean wrong and upset him (because why have him make such a fuss in the first place), and make him think this is exactly what you are saying. But I also think the nephilim has affected Cas and Dean is right that his behaviour had an abrupt effect, because there were several staged moments in the episode to show that Cas had changed abruptly. I think there’s an enormous grey area between the two extremes of free will and outright puppeting someone, all of which involve a degree of lack of agency and choices being taken away, but don’t necessarily impact someone’s sense of having free will.
Take Mary for example - not now but in the past. She had her life plan all worked out for her by Heaven and Hell before she was ever born - by eons before she was born. She was going to be the disposable mother on the end of a long long chain of disposable mothers, to birth the kids the angels and demons were actually interested in. And Heaven used cupids to hook her and John up - this season starts with Dean describing that moment as if she had some sort of choice in finding and falling in love with John, but he knows better than anyone that her choice was kicked out from under her legs at that point. But she thought she was choosing John, and wanting all the things she said she wanted in 4x03, and then seemed very firmly to make the choice of a deal for John’s life and her peace, because she loved him. Absolutely nothing Mary thought she did seemed to be because she was being forced to do it. She could have told Azazel screw you. She had every opportunity so she might think to listen to her father, stop seeing John, choose not to date someone outside the life, etc, if she wanted to, but mysteriously she never wanted to not do these things which is exactly what Heaven and Hell wanted of her. So from her POV she’s had free will and messed up catastrophically. From our POV she’s been horrifically manipulated and between 12x01 and like, 12x09 was the only time in her entire existence that no one was manipulating her for anything.
Anyway, Cas might seem like he’s acting perfectly by his own choices but remember in 12x19, he seemed about to be given the choice - he even seemed halfway ready to offering himself without being asked. And then Kelly stole the car, and from that point on Cas was never asked if he would do this. Maybe Mary wanted to get out of the life before she met John, maybe she didn’t, but once she’d been hit with a cupid arrow, that was all she wanted.
I never really listen to what the actors say about these things. They know their part of it, or are telling us the spoiler-free version of it, the one that they think will tease and interest us about it. And this is a massive tease and he’d never tell us actual spoilers. I think we should watch the actual episodes before we get upset about what they seem to be saying about them, as a general rule.
(As usual this comes with the guarantee you can come back to my inbox and tell me to my face I’m wrong and I won’t blame you :P I just really don’t think con “spoilers” are worth anything, and it fits exactly with what I was thinking anyway so this feels like good news to me.)
Edit: @tinkdw and @amwritingmeta have both been working on a more elaborate explanation of why Cas doing everything by choice is a good thing and is definitely what’s going on, if you want a different attack on this.
Happy Earth Day Everyone! No “holiday” on the calendar depresses me more, because it’s the one day a year our ongoing climate catastrophe gets brought up in the elementary schools, but always couched in a “take care of the planet by turning out the lights and recycling your soda cans” feel-good kind of way.
I say it depresses me, but what’s the alternative? I’m grown and I can barely manage to wrap my mind around the scale of what’s happening to the planet - do I really think kids need more exposure to this existential dread? No. No I don’t.
Title: The Carousel Never Stops Turning Author: @amvilas Rating: Mature Warnings: Major Character Death Words: 28555 Summary: “Loss is inevitable. Yet we all knock on wood when we joke about death, like it’s some far off impossibility, even though our chances of catastrophe are great. Emma was like that. Until this very moment. Because the plane crashed. The plane fucking crashed.”
Some say the odds of a plane crash are one in a million. Emma Swan and Regina Mills didn’t think they’d ever be a part of that statistic. How naive, but that’s how life happens. The big, scary, life changing stuff hits us hard when we’re not looking or expecting it. That’s perhaps the worst part.
Swan Queen / Grey’s Anatomy AU.
Writers and artists spent months creating the fics and art you enjoy - it would mean the world to them if you commented to tell them what you liked! The SQSupernova team is also sponsoring a contest for commenters, and you can find out more here.
Hurricane Maria strengthens into Category 2 storm as it heads towards Caribbean islands battered by Irma
Maria strengthened into a Category 2 storm on Monday 09/18/2017 and pushed toward
the Leeward Islands in the eastern Caribbean, as forecasters warned it
was expected to become a major hurricane by early Tuesday. The storm was on a path that would take it near many of the islands
already wrecked by Hurricane Irma and then on toward Puerto Rico, the
Dominican Republic and Haiti. Maria could hit Puerto Rico on
as a Category 3 or 4 hurricane, said Ernesto Morales with the U.S.
National Weather Service in San Juan. “This storm promises to be
catastrophic for our island,” he said. “All of Puerto Rico will
experience hurricane force winds.” Telegraph Reporters
18 September 2017 • 8:24am Track path of Hurricane Maria 09/18/2017 - 09/27/2017 Be safe.
I'm a vet tech in Florida, and I've been asked to be on emergency standby, staying overnight at our clinic during Hurricane Irma to take care of hospitalized patients and in house animals. Any tips on patient care during extreme weather? ( I know Australia doesn't have hurricanes, but surely you have other types of extreme weather.) Question tax: I headcanon that you have a 'swear jar' into which you put coins whenever someone asks for an internet diagnosis.
If a cyclone hits, are you going to evacuate or stay at home?
If your pet is staying at home, think about confining it in the
safest enclosed room of the house e.g. the bathroom, and DO NOT tie your
pet up. Make sure there’s food and water.
Talk to your neighbours and tell them about your evacuation plans in case you are away.
Ensure your emergency kit contains plenty of non-perishable food (e.g. dry food) and water in spill-proof containers.
Make sure your pet is microchipped and has a current collar and tag in case it gets lost.
If you are at home with your pet during a cyclone, try to keep them as calm as possible.
For horses and livestock
Whether you leave livestock in yards or in the paddock should
depend on the type of emergency and the risk of injury from material or
trees in the paddocks, the likelihood of flooding and the stability of
If time permits, secure or remove all loose objects.
Animals need to be identified in case they get lost during wild weather.
Make sure the horses and livestock have access to a safe food and
water source. Do not rely on automatic water systems as power may be
It is also important to make sure that you have alternative sources
of feed. This may mean having a storage shed on or off-site specifically
for storing feed, or a prearrangement with a stock feed supplier for
All of the above was taken from the AVA website.
Caring for patients in a hospital during extreme weather might require sedating some of those animals for the duration, and make sure everything has fully charged batteries as much as possible. Keeping good records is also vital, but that’s about all the advice I’ve got.