Note: This is kind of angst, and kind of not. It’s more an exploration of the kinds of paranoia that people have when navigating a new relationship when they still don’t think they know how to make relationships work. Set post season 3.
Emma forces a smile when he comes home after his day-long disappearance with a nice bottle of wine and a few long-stemmed roses.
He smells like the sea. His smile is a little too bright, his laughs a little too loud, and the way he can’t stop touching her doesn’t excite her like it should—it makes her worry, even more, that he’s overcompensating.
He’s trying to prove that he’s still in this as much as she is.
But she knows, deep down in that corner of her mind that whispers of old abandonments and life-long loneliness, that somehow, once again, she isn’t good enough to keep him.
Okay, I don’t normally do the episode meta thing. So many other people do it so much more eloquently than I do. But I feel compelled to comment on the Emma/Killian diner scene.
As a parent, there’s a big difference between trusting someone with your child’s physical well-being, and trusting someone with your child’s emotional/psychological well-being. We trust other people with our children’s physical well-being every time we send them to school or leave them with a babysitter. But when it comes to their emotions, we’re a lot pickier. Those are the things we want to handle ourselves, or only trust to certain special friends/relatives that we’ve confided in and trust with our own emotional well-being. And with someone as closed off emotionally as Emma, that’s pretty much no one.
She’s trusted Henry’s physical well-being with lots of people: Ruby, Leroy, her parents, even Regina. But for his emotional well-being it’s always been about her first, especially since the memory loss thing.
But when Killian suggests that he has something to offer in this regard - a way to help with Henry’s emotional well-being - she doesn’t even hesitate. She seems surprised and grateful and immediately accepts his offer. She hustles Henry and Killian out of the diner to plan their outing within a minute of him making the offer.
I know a lot of people theorized that Emma would have Killian take Henry away to protect him from the witch, which would have been great, but it would have just been Emma trusting Killian with her son’s physical well-being, like all the other babysitters. What we got instead means so much more.
She immediately trusts Killian to make positive impact on Henry’s emotional well-being because that is what Killian always does for her. Killian is always the one that helps Emma get to a better place emotionally, and she has confidence that he can do the same for her son.
This is huge. At this point I have no idea why some people still can’t see how much this man means to her.
Summary: In spite of her confused emotions, Emma seizes the chance to make the most of her last night before assuming the mantle of savior once again. Emma/Hook, loosely inspired by spoiler photos for 3x12.
Notes: I intended to write a short and simple bit of smut, but my brain wouldn’t let me, so this is a little smut wrapped in a lot of introspection and emotion.
Emma splashed her face at the sink one last time, washing the final traces of her cleanser away before turning off the faucet and patting her face dry with her towel. She tried to lose herself in those mundane, everyday tasks. To pretend that it was just another night ending just another day. To savor the simple, happy life she’d been living for just a few moments longer.
But her mind wouldn’t shut down so easily. Today her life had changed. It hadn’t been a dream. The man sleeping on her couch would still be there if she looked out into her family room. And she’d have to leave her home tomorrow, with no promise of ever coming back.
She leaned against her counter and stared at her face in the mirror. Yesterday she would have seen the same person she saw everyday—Emma Swan, the determined bail bonds person, the always-tired-but-too-happy-to-complain woman, the homework helper, the video game monitor, the hopeful online-dater, the single mother committed to making the best possible life for her son. Just Emma.
Tonight, however, she saw a savior. A lost girl. A woman with magic. The daughter of a princess and her prince.
Tomorrow she’d have to get in her car and go back to Maine to enact the spell Regina had sent to her. To save everyone. To find her family all over again.
Part of her wanted to be terrified. Part of her wanted to be overwhelmed. Part of her wanted to be happy beyond all imagining. And part of her wanted to curse them all for taking this simple peaceful life away from her and drawing her back into that insanity.
But she wouldn’t be angry. Not for long, anyway. She loved them too much for that. And even through her mind full of false memories, and a year’s worth of true ones, something had still felt not-quite-right. There had been all the vivid dreams that she now recognized as memories trying to make their way to the surface. All the odd moments of déjà vu when reading a book or watching a movie, but not as if she’d read or watched them before—as if she’d lived them. And, in spite of her happiness with Henry, there had been a dull ache in the background of her life. Something had been missing.