otp:i'm not afraid anymore

I’m that girl who acts like she doesn’t care and ‘laughs it off’ when she’s hurt. I’m the girl who, no matter how much I’m in love with you,I won’t ever admit it to you first to save the embarrassment of rejection. I’m the girl who never holds back when helping a friend or being a shoulder to cry on. I’m the girl that has endless love for that one person who doesn’t want me too. I’m that girl who spends hours talking people out of their sadness when in actual fact,the sadness has captured me. I’m the girl that will never fail to talk you out of self harming or suicide,but the problem is; I’m also the girl who is struggling to talk herself out of self harm and suicide. I’m the fucking sad girl that wants to kill herself but is seen as being ‘over dramatic’ or ‘silly’. I’m the girl that needs help,but when it comes to it is scared to reach out,my thoughts scare me but death doesn’t,and that’s the scariest thing of all.

I’m quitting this blog because I’ve realized most people that follow this blog and run this blog will never grow up.

This blog doesn’t support Asians, they support Asian Americans only.

I’ve tried bringing up important things that happens in Southeast Asia and other events that I can raise awareness too, but if I don’t follow American mindset in this blog which revolves around fetishizing mental illness and hate on anyone that’s not oppressed - I’m wrong.

Not everything is about the west and not everything is about hate.

I tried keeping up with it but I can’t take it anymore.


- Diva

I Wouldn't Mind
He Is We

I Wouldn’t Mind | He Is We

Carefully we’ll place our destiny
You came and you took this heart, and set it free
Every word you write or sing is so warm to me, so warm to me
I’m torn, I’m torn to be right where you are

I’m not afraid, anymore
I’m not afraid

Forever is a long time
But I wouldn’t mind spending it by your side
Tell me everyday I get to wake up to that smile
I wouldn’t mind it at all
I wouldn’t mind it at all

Few things break my heart more than the fact that so many ace and aro people feel broken and inhuman when there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re human, and you’re valid, and you don’t deserve to feel broken because you’re worthy of so many good things and you’re good enough. And I will remind you of this as much as you need because I know what it is to feel inhuman and broken.
All the silence about this topic breaks my heart, because it sends the wrong message. When ace and aro people feel broken and they only get negative comments about it but potential allies remain in silence, it sends the message that ace and aro people don’t matter and that they are not human, because if nobody screams “you’re human and valid” then why would you believe, right?
Well, I will scream it. You’re human, you’re not broken. There’s nothing wrong with you. And I’m so tired of people who make you feel like there’s something wrong. Your humanity, dignity and worth should never be questioned. Haters are the ones who are wrong, not you.
I don’t care if I lose followers for this. I see people fighting for all the other causes and identities, but not for this. So yeah, know that you’re worthy and loved.

One year…

One year since you passed away… Never got the opportunity to hold you in my arms, to hug you, to meet you…

I still remember the moment that I noticed that you were… well, dead… I waked up, tired from being on Tumblr so many hours the night before. I log into Tumblr once again and I notice something: an image from a tweet…, Niall’s tweet about you.

I couldn’t believe it.

I immediately go to Niall’s twitter account to see if the tweet was true. It was… I was completely devastated and I start to cry so much and so loudly that my mom enters in my room asking what’s happening and if I’m hurt…

Well, I was… I was hurt in the heart. Felt like an arrow, passing through my flesh.

Since that day, I lost something. Not just an idol, not just some celebrity, but yes the person that saved my life so many times.

I lost you…

Joy Division - Insight

Guess the dreams always end
They don’t rise up, just descend
But I don’t care anymore
I’ve lost the will to want more
I’m not afraid, not at all
I watch them all as they fall
But I remember when we were young

Those with habits of waste
Their sense of style and good taste
Of making sure you were right
Hey don’t you know you were right?
I’m not afraid anymore
I keep my eyes on the door
But I remember…

Tears of sadness for you
More upheaval for you
Reflects a moment in time
A special moment in time
Yeah we wasted our time
We didn’t really have time
But we remember when we were young

And all God’s angels beware
And all you judges beware
Sons of chance take good care
For all the people not there
I’m not afraid anymore
I’m not afraid anymore
I’m not afraid anymore
Oh, I’m not afraid anymore