OH MY HEART.
This whole scene.
There are going to be many words and many posts about this scene.
Because it is definitely the best scene of Michael Weatherly’s career – or at the very least, the his best work on the series.
So let’s start the pain already.
Right off the bat, you can tell how frantic Tony is: charging into the bullpen but completely unfocused, antsy, looking for something – anything – to do and take action.
And then he notices the empty desk, her empty desk, and he stops dead in his tracks (no pun intended).
And let’s face it, it is her desk, even if it’s someone else’s now. It’s always hers to him. The desk has become its own character in her absence.
So the show decides to torture us by flashing a vision of Ziva in that very chair, smiling back at Tony like she did a million times (especially in this particular scene where they were discussing weddings HELP ME), the way he’s always remembered her. Because those are the moments that mattered, the ones he’s always treasured, and the ones he’s missed the most in the last three years. Remember, there were whole episodes about that desk and what it meant to him.
And the fact that they did it so seamlessly – like she were really still there and not a flashback – is what really hurts. Other than the fact that she’s, you know, dead. Because that flicker reminds Tony, and frankly all of us, of what we’ve been missing since she left. It’s that spark, that warmth, that presence. She may be gone in every sense of the word
or not, but it’s like she’s still there. And it’s easy to see how Tony feels like he’s losing it, like he’s seeing things.
Because so are we.
And I just have to mention Gibbs here too, because he can see exactly what’s happening. Tony doesn’t even register his presence because he’s caught in his own private storm, and Gibbs knows all too well where Tony is going in this instant. Because Gibbs has been there, and he also knows, has always known what Tony and Ziva were.
This is not going to be good.
I’m not ready.