otp: the doll and the machine

Prompts for OTPs

Send me a number, or randomly use one for yourself…

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01. “No, please… you can’t leave me like this!” 

02. Two Superheroes in blatant competition AU

03. “Do you have a minute to talk about our lord, Cthulhu?” 

04. Office Pank Wars AU

05. “Why are there socks in the sink?”/”Why is the fine china in the washing machine?”

06. There’s a Portal to Another Reality in my Bathroom AU

07. “But you’re dead… how can this-… oh shit, it’s the Zombie Apocalypse?!”

08. Look I know about your stash of hentai, but you know I like collecting (Insert Brand) Dolls, so let’s call it even AU

09. “Pretty sure that potplant is Haunted…” 

10. Did you bring me to the Gym to secretly kill me? AU

11. “Sir, that is not the correct use of the bidet…” 

12. Guardian Angel (is one lazy motherfucker) AU

13. “Did not expect to get trapped in a video game today, but okay… let’s do this.”

14. I walked in on you wearing a fez and crying at Doctor Who, but you spotted me before I could get away and now I’m consoling you, nameless stranger in the airport lounge AU

15. “Just because we have to dorm together, does not mean I have to put up with your stressed, awake-more-than-48hours, caffeine-addicted ass during finals week” AU

16. Clue about your soulmate manifests as a shape/symbol mark over a corresponding body part (e.g. a rose over the heart, a barbell on your bicep), and mine happens to be an asshole… AU

17. “‘Pilot the starship, (name)!’ Did anybody ASK if I knew HOW to pilot the (fucking) Starship?!’

18. You cosplay my favourite character and I’m kind of turned on by that, but I have no idea how to go about telling you stranger-in-my-[subject]-class AU

19. “To be honest I don’t get why you like looking at the stars, but I love the look on your face when you gaze at them…

20. Joining your Dungeons&Dragons group was the best and worst thing I have ever done AU

21. “Yes, there is a merperson in our bathtub, and I can totally explain…” 

22. Accidentally bit you last full moon, and it took me all this time to track you down AU

23. “Well they can’t crown TWO Winners of this Beauty Pageant, so let’s throw down…”

24. You were attempting to drunkenly twerk and I couldn’t take the second-hand embarrassment so I drove you home AU

25. “Cats are an integral part of the universe, it’s basic physics.” 

26. The Zombie Apocalypse actually wasn’t as spectacular as Hollywood made it seem… everyone just sort of came back a bit disoriented but overall exactly as they were (with no desire for flesh or brains of any kind) AU

27. “Look, I’m just here to do my job… and as a Reaper, yes, that does involve me dragging your soul to the Afterlife… so stop whining about it.”

28. Someone spread a terrible rumour about you, but you don’t know, and I’m working hard to fix it AU

29. “Have you considered, Foxtrot Alpha Charlie Tango  Yankee Oscar Uniform?”

30. Compatibility tests, standard in our advanced technological/overbearing dystopian governmental age, have placed us together and of course it had to be YOU AU

31. “I would love to take this exam, professor, but I’ve just noticed this is advanced linguistics 203 and I’m actually an engineering student…” 

32. You waived your Right to Remain Silent hours ago and have been serenading us all with Disney songs ever since AU

33. “There’s a difference between you telling me you aren’t quite human, and surprising the hell out of me with your weird alien anatomy when I’m sleep-deprived… so yes, I did hit you with a frying pan.” 

34. We can’t have kids, biologically, but this new technology has given us hope AU 

35. “So, good news… there’s more than just one type of merpeople… the bad news, some of them are very horny, and have shark teeth”

36. You were turned to stone by magic/science/accident/deliberate/other, and I’m doing everything I can to fix it… but even if I can reverse it after all these years, you’re still young and beautiful AU

37. “Just because there’s a body in my trunk does not make me a serial killer, I can explain…” 

38. The Supernatural is Real and I have to tell you something… AU

39. “Maybe I can control the weather, but no, I’m not helping you recreate a Loreal commercial…”

40. Our species/monster types are literally incompatible… AU

41. “No I wasn’t sexting via Morse code, professor, it was just… uh…”

42. You keep coming through my checkout and buying odd, suggestive, and concerning things AU

43. “Your Honour, the other lawyer is just being a big old meanie and they’re hurting my feelings…” 

44. Selected for an Experimental Treatment/Program by Governmental Agencies AU

45. “Okay, so apparently you have wings and I can powerlift yo mama (hah)… no, but seriously, how did this happen?”

46. So Aliens are Real and I’m just going to have an existential crisis over there while you gloat about your conspiracy theories being right AU

47. “I should not be this turned on by a twinkie, and yet…” 

48. We joined forces to create a webcomic, your writing skills and my artstyle were compatible… even though we hate each other… and now, I’ve noticed the two main love interests are starting to look a lot more like you and me AU

49. “Now listen here you neckbearded, cheetoh-encrusted, misogynistic fedoralord… if you ever say that again, the next words out of your mouth will be muffled by your own butt.”

50. We keep inadvertently saving one another, so who the fuck are you and why am I accident-prone around you? AU

51. “Just because CSI does it, doesn’t mean you can…”

52. Trying to keep reporting the news as if you aren’t under the desk AU

53. “Pretty sure that wasn’t so much ‘coffee’ as ‘industrial grade toxic sludge with caffeine’… so I’m just going to wait over here by the phone to call 911/000/999 when your heart finally gives out.”

54. Maybe you’re not a strong swimmer but there’s a limit to how many inflatable items one person can wear on their body to the beach… please, people are staring AU

55. “How the fuck did you come into possession of this Tank?”

56. Hey, we’re both medieval re-enactors from different time periods at this festival AU

57. “I don’t actually understand sport, but I know that was wrong going off how [my partner] is reacting!” 

58. You were the stranger I was sitting beside on the rollercoaster, and I may have accidentally grabbed your hand at one point AU

59. “Ambassador, it seems your ‘educational vidnet documentaries on human interaction protocols’ that were located from the planet’s intertechnological communication technology… was actually pornography… but I’m sure there’s a way to fix this, the President seems rather enamoured with you now.” 

60. Bored Museum Security Guard that has to spend half their day stopping you from doing insane things AU

61. “So this is the part where I tell you I’m actually an assassin hired to kill you, but I kind of really like you… so I can’t.” 

62. Found an Ancient City with a still-living population/Found Atlantis AU

63. “You are hereby banned from the kitchen, and the downstairs lab… at least until the roof stops smouldering… and you get, er, whatever that charred goop is, off the walls.” 

64. We’re both trapped in this hedge maze and I’m starting to lose the will to live AU

65. “Are you telling me you keep using our real, everyday lives, as inspiration for your OTP fanfictions?” 

66. Surprise, we’re both mutants who had no fucking idea what happened. But you got awesome powers and I… I’m something out of a nightmare AU

67. “Well, Strip-Twister wasn’t my best idea, but it was slightly better than drunk Monopoly…”

68. What we are… is something that society would see us destroyed for, but I will fight as long as you are beside me AU 

69. “WE’RE Drift Compatible? How the f-… how the literal f-… DOES THE UNIVERSE HATE ME?!”

70. The fact you are human fascinates me, and I wish you could see how wonderful you are… but you don’t, and I’m not sure how to help you AU

for victor and sierra, who never forgot each other, even when they were hollowed out for the rich to play with

01. red right ankle - the decemberists // 02. drumming song - florence + the machine // 03. i got it bad (and that ain’t good) - ella fitzgerald // 04. rag doll - tom the lion // 05. come undone - greg laswell // 06. delicate - damien rice // 07. reverse dreams - ed harcourt // 08. my moon my man - feist // 09. better man - james morrison // 10. bats in the attic - king creosote & jon hopkins // 11. patience - kt tunstall // 12. i see monsters - ryan adams // 13. a picture of our torn up praise - phosphorescent //  14. jigsaw falling into place - radiohead // 15. man of a thousand faces - regina spektor