It’s almost like... character development!
So I read a hate post (that’s wasn’t properly tagged btw) and almost
all of the excuses the person used were from the first half of 2x06 (I could get into how by the end of that very episode he’s started to makes changes but we’d be here all day and this is gonna get long enough as it is) when he was feeling guilty and like it was inevitable that he would let Kara
down because he had no clue how to be a hero and thought he would never be able
to live up to her expectations.
Ya know, when he didn’t fully understand what
being a hero meant and hadn’t seen her being one except for when she was
kicking his ass and locking him up … ok so this is definitely gonna get a little long… sorry but I have fire in my heart over this and it must be released.
Mon-El is a character who can admit when he’s wrong and he
has admitted – more than once – that his
initial views on Kara’s role as a hero were wrong. Which isn’t super relevant to the rest of this but still needs to be said.
Alrighty… moving on…
He said in 2x13 that what he feels for her is something that he’s never felt in his life. That he didn’t know that the emotions he’s felt since meeting her existed. Emotions like affection, tenderness, adoration… love. Imagine being raised in a world that isn’t conducive to teaching people how to love. It stands to reason that in that world things like selflessness and honor are also hard to come by.
So early on – again, when his idea of what a hero even was came from his experience of getting beat down and locked up for something he didn’t do – his concept of why someone would take those kind of risks was rooted in his belief that people didn’t do things just for the sake of helping others. As sweet as his offer to help the (not so) homeless man at the end of 2x06 was, he was still like “I’m trying to do better so I’d love to help” which is still moving in the right direction be he kinda missed the mark a bit.
The first time we start to see that Mon-El is developing feelings for Kara beyond friendship or comradery is after they were locked up at Cadmus. After she put herself in danger and then forfeited her powers all to help him. To save his life – someone that she liked well enough but had no real reason at that point to be overly attached to. She did it because she cared about his life, she believed that he had value just because he was a person.
That was probably the first time he had ever seen anything
like that. It wasn’t her helping him dress and get a job. It was her risking
her life for his. It’s the first time he saw what being a hero truly means to
That’s when heroism stopped being an abstract concept and became a reality. When they’re at her apartment he says “Any courage I do have, I learned it from you.” because that was the first time he had seen what real bravery and self-sacrifice was and it shook him.
By the end of 2x09 he’s doing a complete 180. When they’re on Slavers
Moon he realizes that the honor and dignity of what Kara does as Supergirl is something
that isn’t limited to a few people that personally know her. It’s something that every person that
believes in Supergirl is a part of.
Without powers, on a deadly planet, she refuses to give in. And because of that she inspires the people around her to do the same. That is when he decides he wants to start training, he wants to be a part of the solution, he wants so get involved. And he commits himself to it, Kara herself admits that he’s “dedicated”.
Unfortunately his desire to help is tied to his feelings for Kara. The two things aren’t mutually inclusive but they are connected. So when he was first on the hero train and he had to make a choice, he chose Kara. Which also ended up being a lesson for him about how what really makes a hero is their willingness to put others first.
Another thing that this person was saying was that Kara is
constantly complaining about Mon-El so it’s ridiculous to think that she would want to be in
a relationship with him.
But A) Alex literally addressed that in 2x06, we have been given a canon reason for why she gets frustrated with him and B) he also makes her laugh and loosen up which is kinda a part of my next point which is C)… what was my point?
Oh! Right, ok, so all of these changes in their relationship
and Mon-El’s views of heroism have caused a shift between them. Mon-El is
definitely a flawed character but what makes him one that I can root for - and
one that Kara would want to be with - is the fact that he tries.
He tries so
hard, he listens and he learns and he keeps trying no matter how long it takes him to get it right. He’s grown so much since we first met him. He
was never a bad guy but he was a shallow one that had the emotional depth of a
thimble. But that’s different now.
He sees the kind of person Kara
is, the choices she’s made and the person she’s become despite everything she’s
lost and he’s realized that he wants more. Not just in terms of a
romantic relationship with her but from his existence.
He’s learned that a life
of objectifying women and being a partier may have been easier but that he was
never satisfied or content. He never felt fulfilled or like his life had
purpose or meaning. Literally all of that ties back to the culture he was
raised in and his upbringing.
I was raised in a town (and family for that matter) that is filled with more than it’s fair share of narrow-minded, racist, bigots and until I got older and experienced something
different I had no idea that there was anything wrong with life the way it was.
It wasn’t until I was put in a new environment with new types of people that I
realized what was wrong with the way my old life had been. But it took time to learn, it was a process and breaking old habits that have been ingrained since childhood isn’t easy.
Everyone has flaws, everyone has had to adapt, everyone has had to learn and work to be better and not a single one of us can claim that we haven’t.
In conclusion – judging Mon-El for the person he was before
he learned better or hating him for the fact that he hasn’t been magically transformed
overnight is some hypocritical bullshit.