otp: my teri polo

“We read the scenes together and even I knew. It was like we were finishing each other’s sentences and we were interrupting each other and overlapping as if we’d done it for 10 years already. And as we have done the show, I don’t think I’ve ever loved another woman in this way. I think I have more chemistry with Sherri Saum than I’ve had with any other male counterpart in 28 years.”

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I loved the scene where Stef told her father not to come to her wedding unless he meant it so much (it’s up there with the nail polish/hands scene).

I don’t think internalized homophobia is addresses enough and Teri was so brilliant with how she showed it here. I love how this story line with Stef and coming out has kind of been there in bits and pieces all season because that’s how self acceptance/self doubt works. Most people (that I know anyway) don’t get over things like this over night. I can’t speak for anyone else but I get the impression that there is an underlying fear and shame in just about all of us who grew up in heteronormative society but don’t fit into it.

It’s that thing that makes you second guess/be self conscious of how you present yourself out in public. It’s the thing always in the back of your head telling you your wrong. We stop ourselves all the time to question how people are going to react to us just being who we are (at least until we are comfortable with ourselves).  

I absolutely love the scene between Stef and her father because that voice of doubt has been there all season and it isn’t until now that she is finally able to admit that it doesn’t belong to her. The doubt, angry, and fear of who she is did not come from her but the father who made her feel that way. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a show show internalized homophobia this way before (though it could be out there). It was definitely the moment that stood out the most to me because it was such a pivotal moment for Stef’s character. She finally stood up to the person that put the voice in her head that is telling her she should hide who she is and she told him to get the hell out. That voice does not belong to her and now, hopefully, she won’t have to hear anymore.