Even though she was only in the opening scene of the Season 2 finale of Legends of Tomorrow, Felicity blew me away. She blows me away on a regular Wednesday, that’s true, but this one just went above and beyond anything they have ever done with her so far.
And no, this is not about Felicity being in a mask or having a costume or fighting with other vigilantes. Not in the least. In fact, I personally, hold the firm and unyielding belief that there is nothing more badass than people who fight injustice in their own identity - no code names, no masks, no leather (and more often than not - no fists). Felicity Smoak has been that badass since season 1.
The reason I’m so amazed is that with this new reality the LoT writers had the freedom to make and shape Felicity Smoak into just about anyone without having to justify their actions beyond saying “it’s an alternate reality, jeez!”. Yet they didn’t take that opportunity. They kept Felicity Smoak as is - who she is at her core and in her heart - a hero. An indisputably fierce, brave and strong woman.
Yet they didn’t make her into some Superwoman who can’t be defeated. Quite the opposite, really (spoilers). But I have no problem with this as well (I thought I might have a lot of problems with Sara being the one to kill her, but I don’t. Because what we saw in the LoT finale was not Sara). They made Felicity and her abilities feel real. And there are very few (perhaps none) people in the DCTV verse as it is today that could stand a chance against Sara Lance, DCTV’s best fighter, and Amaya Jiwe and her ability to adopt the powers and qualities of any animal via her magical amulet. So naturally, Felicity couldn’t too.
It helped solidify the stakes at hand. Felicity is the last hero left to stand up for Star City. Everyone else is gone. And she is outnumbered, outgunned, outmatched and yet she keeps fighting. She’s doing the right thing. She’s putting one foot in front of the other and honouring her fallen teammates, friends, and family. The appearance might be different than the Felicity we know and love but the spirit is there. It’s there and it’s shining through.
To make her even more amazing though, Felicity Smoak sustained multiple injuries in the span of these 3 minutes. She landed badly and possibly twisted (if not broke) her right ankle, she was hit by both Amaya and Sara multiple times. She was thrown down a long, metal staircase and crashed into the ground at the end of it, sustaining possibly a concussion and at the very least cracked ribs and some damage to her spine. And if the staircase fall didn’t give her a concussion then the force Amaya hit her with her gun surely did.
She’s alone. There’s no back up coming. She’s bruised and twisted and quite possibly in a lot of pain. She’s also smart. She knows the odds don’t look good for her. She knows she will quite possibly die. But she doesn’t let all of that break her for even a second. Even when she can’t fight physically she keeps doing so with her words, telling Darhk, Amaya and Sara where they can shove it.
She died a death that fit her - fighting for her home and for what she believes in like the true hero that she is.
you promised me forever but where the fuck are you now? you’re gone. you fucking left, just like everyone else does. am i that fucking miserable? am i so awful that no matter what, everyone will get fed up with me eventually?
I wrote that in a somewhat overemotional state and later came to realise (with the help of some of the glorious meta that was written on that post) that I was sort of wrong.
Basically, while writing that post I allowed Season 4 John to influence my reading of John as a whole, and that was both unfair and stupid - because I didn’t allow it to affect my reading of any other character in the show. I mean, I’m committed to turning the entire season into a dog, so what happens in it shouldn’t matter, except as what the character-avatars in the season reveal about Sherlock’s mental state. (basically the thought that is beginning to coalesce is that John’s behaviour in Season 4 is actually Sherlock’s fear that John doesn’t love him)
So, while I stand by the fact that John is a bit of a tool, and becomes more of a tool as the series continues, I no longer agree with the statement that John doesn’t love Sherlock.
By the end of Season 3, I think this poem pretty well explains how he feels about Sherlock:
Odi et amo. quare id faciam, fortasse requiris? nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior.
It’s a poem by Catullus, who was a Roman poet, and it translates like so:
I hate and I love, you ask why I do this, I do not know, but I feel and I am tormented
He loves Sherlock, helplessly and consumingly, but he’s convinced that Sherlock can’t or doesn’t love him back in the specific way that he loves Sherlock. So he loves him, but he also hates him for not loving him back, and he’s basically tearing himself up over that, in addition to all the other things, such as (I’m just going to name two Mary-related examples, because I have her on the brain today):
Married someone who shot Sherlock (yay! More Sherlock-related guilt!)
Married someone under false pretenses (he was in love with Sherlock all along, but married Mary anyway. An honourable man, the kind of man John wants desperately to be, wouldn’t have done that. And I don’t think that guilt would go away just because Mary also married John under false pretenses - John isn’t the kind of man who will cut himself slack just because someone else did the same wrong thing)
He also hates himself for continuing to love Sherlock, even after all the hurt Sherlock has caused him, even though it’s unrequited. That’s got to eat at him all the time, because he’s John Watson, he’s not some fucking fainting maiden who spends five years pining over someone who doesn’t love him back, except that he is, and he does. (Obviously we know that Sherlock is desperately in love with John, but John, as ever, sees but does not observe, and neither of these idiots appear to be capable of opening their damn mouths. So now we are in the frankly ridiculous situation of watching two grown-ass men in their forties pining for each other in a manner that Jane Austen would find excessive. Thanks for that, Moftiss.)
I bet he even hates himself for hating Sherlock for not loving him back, because that’s not the kind of thing a good man, a good friend would do. A good friend would accept that Sherlock doesn’t feel things that way and make a sort of peace with it (as John was more or less starting to do by TRF) and just be happy that Sherlock loves him as much and in whatever way he is capable of.
So basically, John is a complicated ball of tangled stress and guilt, and sometimes I bet he wishes he didn’t love Sherlock, that he could tell Sherlock to fuck off and never think about him again, but he needs Sherlock because he loves him like fire loves oxygen and without him he’d be half-alive at best.
Never seen this show before. The premise interested me, but that guy turned me off from it - the guy who used to be on Smallville, actually. I can’t remember his name right now.
Me, talking about Supernatural for the first time ever on September 29th, 2006 AND OH GOD I WAS WRONG I WAS WRONG I WAS WRONG I WAS WRONG I WAS WRONG I WAS WRONG I WAS WRONG I WAS WRONG I WAS WRONG I WAS WRONG I WAS WRONG I WAS WRONG I WAS WRONG I WAS WRONG I WAS WRONG I WAS WRONG I WAS WRONG I WAS WRONG I WAS WRONG I WAS WRONG I WAS WRONG I WAS WRONG I WAS WRONG I WAS WRONG I WAS WRONG T_____T