otp: i couldn't just leave you there


every time lexa says clarke’s name: 33/?

Tiptoe (Chicago P.D.)

Title: Tiptoe

Fandom: Chicago P.D.

Rating: T/PG-13

Author’s Note: I’ll refrain from writing a diatribe about how angry I am a scene with Jay talking about his PTSD was cut, and instead offer up this (quick) drabble-ish fic I wrote up that attempts to fill in the obvious gap in the break room scene between Erin and Jay at the end of 4x18. I couldn’t find specifics on where PTSD support groups meet in Chicago so I used the locations of Veteran Service Officers from the Illinois Warrior Assistance Program’s website as a proxy.

“Thank God for the job, though, right? I mean, every day you get to meet somebody who’s problems are bigger than yours.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” he replies with a nod of his head because she’s right. The job keeps him grounded; the job keeps him focused and tethered to the here and now.

Yet the words still feel heavy and wrong as she explains how she’s gone above and beyond to help today’s somebody, as she provides herself with an out to leave him in the breakroom. And his gaze immediately shifts to the floor; his head tilting downward so he doesn’t have to look at the small smile she offers him as she moves to tiptoe past him.

“Erin,” he softly calls out, and he can hear her boots scuff on the linoleum floor as she skids to a stop long before he’s fully turned around to face her. “I—”

“I, uh,” he says pausing to swallow the lump in his throat. Her back is still turned to him; her body nearly halfway out the door. And — despite all their conversations in here, despite the fact that he followed her in her and initiated this — the break room isn’t exactly where he imagined himself telling her about this. Telling her about something he’s spent most of the last eight years trying to tiptoe around.

Yet he spent Monday night’s meeting listening to an artillery field officer named Jon talk about how he tiptoed around things until he tried something stupid and this afternoon listening to Voight tell him to he’ll be out of the unit if he doesn’t stop tiptoeing around what’s going on. So he squares his shoulders, lifts his head, and forces himself to find the words to tell her that, in fact, some days somebody else’s problems don’t seem all that bigger than his.

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a. he is stiff and silent;
you carry his body in your arms
and you can feel the coldness of space
being siphoned from him

he saved you all;
you always said he was a sacrificial bastard

b. you are the earth and he is your sun;
no longer does he revolve around your orbit-

q. what does the earth do when the sun is destroyed?
a. it implodes.

c. darling lion, my good man,
my golden healer;
first you ask for a miracle, a serum for revival
and then slowly break your own soul,
trying so desperately to reignite the sun.

q. have you ever asked yourself,
just what you would do for this man?

a. anything

d. “do not play at god,” you swore.
golden healer-
lion doctor-
earth of the sun-

e. you poor fool

—  darling heart,my golden healer; it is indeed possible to love too much // k.eliza for @speedstrr

Can we just talk for a second about how Jim & Bones clearly have the most gossipy pillow talk, telling each other who they saw coming out of whose quarters & betting on how long Chekov’s newest relationship will last & trying to guess what Spock & Uhura are fighting about this week?

“People think a soulmate is a perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soulmate is a mirror…”

“…the person who shows you everything that is holding you back…”

“…the person who brings you back to your own attention so you can change your life…”

“A true soulmate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake…”

 "But to live with a soulmate forever? Nah. Too painful…"

Soulmates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave…"

“A soulmate’s purpose is to shake you up…”

“Tear apart your ego a little bit…”

“Show you your obstacles and addictions…”

“Break your heart open so that new light can enter…”

Make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life. —
Elizabeth Gilbert

From the original script for “Per Manum”:

MULDER: I want to do this, Scully. For so many reasons. But what I’m not sure of is what happens then. I mean, I know what happens,but what about between me and you? What about work, the X-Files…

SCULLY: I don’t know. I haven’t thought about it really. I’m assuming I would take a leave of absence.

MULDER: As strange as it may sound, I just don’t want this to come between us in any way.

Damon, Elena, rain and falling stars.

She was gazing at the sky.  

He was looking at her beautiful smile. 

He tought he knew love. But he didn’t.

Not until her. Until he loved her. 

She then forgot the falling stars and stared back at him.

A drop of rain fell on her nose and her smile grew bigger.

Oh, he loved her. 

She surprised him then. She said: 

“Promise me this is forever”. 

He also thought he knew what it felt to be loved back. He didn’t. 

Not until her.

With her, he didn’t just know. He felt it.They felt it. 

Pure bliss. Real. 

“I promise." 

apocalypticloveandrage  asked:

So I saw this youmakemesoangry/tumblr/com/post/136071002719/kynimdraws-draw-your-otp-in-these and I couldn't help but think yea obviously stiles would be in the sin shirt, leaving Derek to be in the black shirt which I couldn't help but think it could be Stiles saying "Listen, you're gonna wear this until you get it through your think skull" and even though Derek's giving him the look (the one thats just a strained "Stiles") his eyes have such a fond look to it like thanks wow ok UGH the feelsss


Oh my god, I am so sorry, my brain just went in entirely different direction with this and I APOLOGISE but I need to get it out now. 

Imagine some sort of college party that’s held at the beginning of every year for people to go to and hook up at. Like, this is held for people who just want to let go and fool around and get laid who maybe find it really difficult to meet new people. There are just two rules: you can pressure anyone into sex if they don’t want it, and two, you have to wear a t-shirt telling everyone if you are a virgin/inexperienced/find it hard to meet people, or if you are there to help people have a good time. The “sin” t-shirts are for those who want to help people have a good time, bring them out of their shell. The “not guilty” t-shirts are for everyone else. 

Okay, so enter Stiles wearing the “sin” t-shirt. He loves sex, but what he loves even more is helping people feel comfortable in their bodies. Stiles still isn’t the most secure of people, he still kind of hates his body and suffers from low self esteem, but it’s gotten better since college and if he can help anyone feel better about themselves, he is going to do it. He may be an asshole a lot of the time, but he gets feeling insecure. He gets the need to be loved and liked. He gets wanting to be wanted. 

And then enter Derek, wearing a “not guilty” t-shirt. Everyone thinks when Derek turns up at the party he’s going to be wearing a “sin” t-shirt because this is Derek-bad-boy-Hale. Derek has a reputation. He wears leather jackets and doesn’t hang out with anyone except a select group of people and generally glares at anyone who tries to talk to him. There is also something to do with a fire in his story, but there are so many rumours about that people just make up their own minds about it.  

Everyone is actually kind of afraid to approach Derek, and the ones who try just get glared at. Stiles knows about Derek, of course he does, they used to live in the same town. He knows about the fire, hates the way people talk about it like it’s some super cool mystery and maybe now and again starts arguments with people who talk shit about Derek. Because he knows Derek, okay? He knows what kind of guy he used to be, what kind of guy he is now, and Stiles likes both. Far more than he would like to admit. And maybe Stiles goes up to Derek, just to say hi, not thinking it’s going to go anywhere, but then Derek…he just kind of melts and gets really shy??? Stiles smiles and he ducks his head, frowning slightly, but Stiles is close enough to see the blush on his cheeks and…well…somehow they end up back at Stiles’ apartment. 

And at first there is kissing, there is touching and panting…but then Derek notices Stiles’ collection of DVDS. He notices his Hitchcock collection and gets really excited because Derek loves Hitchcock, okay?, He’s seen very single movie and even though his movies are famous, he’s never met anyone before who loves him too. And maybe they get to talking about their favourites and end up watching all the Jimmy Stewart ones because they both really love Jimmy Stewart.

And instead of sex, cuddling happens and popcorn and blankets. And that’s how they fall asleep half way through watching Rear Window and it’s perfect. And then they somehow just start…dating, and Derek makes Stiles feel good about himself for a change, and Stiles makes sure Derek is treated right and still gives hell to anyone who tries to touch or bad mouth his boyfriend. 

And of course Derek gets Stiles to wear the “sin” t-shirt sometimes because he gets stupidly adorably turned on by it, especially when it’s wet. Stiles ends up doing one of those cheesy water bottle strip teases - he only ends up choking a little bit- and Derek laughs but not in a mean way. His erection doesn’t even flag as Stiles walks towards him, eyes stinging a little- he probably shouldn’t have used flavoured water- and, yeah, just this, forever. Easy, happy, being good for each other in all the right ways. Always. 

Just happy.