otp: i believe in you with every cell of my being

shakespesre  asked:

so i didn’t know why you dropped contact with me and i just found out and here’s how i totally did not do that” au wondertrev

You must understand something–Diana never does this. 

She never gets into charming, delightful, genuinely enjoyable conversations with men she meets in bars. (Usually the exact opposite of that really, and then Etta had to bail her out.) She never experiences that kind of instant connection with anyone right off the bat. She definitely does not have one remarkable, astonishing, golden-lit night with that person and then never hear from them again. 

But it seems to be that’s what happened. 

Steve Trevor–a former solider, a captain, a would be reporter and writer, wry about his own idealism–Steve Trevor had been an unlooked for miracle, a gift, Diana was raised not to be selfish or greedy, when you were brought up by your aunt and mother and a legion of women none of whom were related to you but loved you fiercely anyways–selfishness gets knocked out of you pretty quickly. But this does not feel like selfishness, this feels like something being taken from her, unfairly and unjustly. And she wants it back. 

Of course, in this ridiculous modern era, she’s had to resort to Google and Facebook and Twitter, only to realize that apparently, he has no social media presence. Like, at all. He might as well not exist. And Diana knows for a fact he did exist, there’s no way she made up that night, her imagination is good but it’s not that good. 

(Like–the man’s mouth. Or his hands. There’s no way in hell she imagined that.)

She even asks for Etta’s help in trying to find him again, looking in bars or coffee shops and bookstores for him, in the aisle. She even made the mistake of telling her mother about him and the response had been less than encouraging: 
Did I raise you to trail after a man like a lost puppy?”

Which stung, yes, but her aunt Antiope hadn’t been any more helpful either: “Darling, no man is that good.” But Diana is not to be dissuaded. She is not be put off. She will find him, she will see him again, and then she’s going to yell at him about ghosting on her.

It ends, strangely enough, where it began: at a half-empty bar late in the evening. Diana walks in, discouraged and disgruntled, truly not having any expectations, and then she sees him, he’s there, nursing a glass of what looks like whisky and looking far too tired and much to handsome. The golden lights from overhead make the silver threads at his temples stand out, and it shocks Diana how the sight of them is intimately familiar to her.

She could run. She could turn around, sprint out into the night, never seen him again, probably. But Diana Hestia Prince had not been raised to run from fear. So she walks up to him, directly up to him, sits down in the spare seat besides him and says, “Hello again.”

The look on his face almost makes up for the weeks of missing him.

“Diana, what–” he almost spills his drink, unexpectedly overcome and Diana should not feel that dreadful swelling of her heart. “I didn’t–I never thought–I didn’t think I’d see you again.”

“Why?” she asks directly. “Is this what you do, pick up women in bars and give them a wonderful, unforgettable night and then never call them again?”

“Steve, you cad,” says the bartender, clearly delighted and enthralled by this drama. “You abandoned this magnificent work of art? My lady–” the bartender turns to Diana, fervent sincerity in every line of his face, “Please believe I would never treat you so cavalierly.”

“Sammy, you’re not helping,” says Steve through clenched teeth. 

“From the looks of it, you don’t need my help,” the bartender retorts. “This breathtaking lady does.”

Please,” says Steve. “Go wash some high glasses.”

The bartender sniffs, but not before pouring Diana a drink, pushing it towards her and declaring, “For the lady most unjustly treated–no charge.”

Thanks,” Steve mutters as he disappears. “No really Sammy, great pal there.”

I got a free drink out of it,” Diana retorts, taking a sip. “He seems pretty alright to me.”

“Yeah well, Sammy’s a soft touch for badly treated ladies,” Steve retorts with an edge to his tone. Diana narrows her eyes.

You never called me. You left without even a good-bye.”

“I didn’t mean to!” he protests. “I just got a call, from an prospective editor and then I lost my phone, and you never gave me your phone number.”  

“I did so!” Diana says, outraged. “I handed it to you on a scrap of paper at the bar–”

“We left in a kind of a hurry if you don’t remember–”

“Oh,” Diana says, “I remember.”

There is a charged silence between them, a fused stare. Diana is easily a thousand percent sure Sammy is eavesdropping in the kitchen. She takes a deep breath and holds out her hand. “Give me your phone.”

Steve looks wary, but hands it over to her anyways. Diana immediately goes to his contacts and puts in her number, noting that he wasn’t lying, her name wasn’t in there at all. After doing that, she hands it back to him, satisfied. “There. Now you don’t have an excuse.”

“I don’t need an excuse,” Steve says. “I’ve been dreaming about you for the past month.”

Every cell in Diana’s body lights up. “Can you tell me about these dreams?”

“Not here,” he says and Diana, exactly like she did before, grabs his hand and hauls him out the door, him barely being able to slap down some money for his drink. “Bye Sammy!”

“Steve! Do not screw this up!” shouts a voice from the kitchen. 

“I won’t!” he yells back and Diana thinks, this never happens to me. 

But it does. 

Here is the start of a lokane fic masterpost! I have not read all of the lokane fics out there yet, but here are the best and my favorites so far. You could call this a starter list for lokane story lovers. I have divided this list to completed works, works in progress, one-shots/short fics, and good discontinued fics to read at your own peril. I hope to add more to this list in the future. 

Completed Works

The Fallen Star Universe by Alydia Rackham:
 Fallen Star > Brother Avengers > Aurora Gifts Unicus
        1st spin-off:  Lokistone > The Keyhole > Wishing Well
        2nd spin-off: Frozen Heart (work in progress)

All of Alydia’s lokane fics are amazingly well-written, and you must read them! This is a great place to start for any beginning lokane readers, and explores the Thor universe and provides excellent backstory on Loki. Fallen Star is the original story, while Lokistone and Frozen Heart are derivatives from the original, but still their own individual story. Fallen Star focuses on Loki hiding his identity from Jane Foster to get more information on the Cube - the possible key to his revenge until something inside him shifts. Brother Avengers is the sequel and includes Tony Stark, Thor, Loki, Captain America and Wolverine teaming up to defeat an enemy force that threatens all the realms. And Aurora/Gifts/Unicus are short, cute one-shots after both stories. Lokistone begins with Jane encountering another version of herself, warning Jane that she must keep the seams of space-time from ripping apart by saving Loki from the Avengers. The Keyhole and Wishing Well are also nice little one-shots after Lokistone. Frozen Heart starts in Thor 2 where Loki has a vision and has no choice to betray Thor to Malekith and gets lost with Jane in elvish cave of mirrors and magic. 

To Cleave the Stars by Hollywithaneye

When Loki becomes tangled in his own web of lies, truth and clarity comes from the oddest of places - and Jane learns that the cruelest masks are those made for us by others. Post-Avengers.

Guardian > Paris > At Peace > Comfort > Thaw > First Date by Shipperwolf

THIS STORY IS FANTASTIC AND YOU MUST READ! It’s both heartwarming and heartbreaking, but more heartwarming. It’s cute and goodness, SO GOOD. Summary: The war with Jotunheim begins and Thor cuts ties with Earth to protect it. Jane is left to raise their child alone. It is only when her daughter begins playing with someone she cannot see that Jane realizes they were never alone at all.

Between Worlds by DreamFlight (Also check out Broken Things)

Along with Alydia, she is also another favorite Lokane author. Her stories are just so superb and I love the beautiful intimate complexity she writes between Jane and Loki. Summary: Loki did promise to visit Thor’s woman, and who’s to say he didn’t? What no one can be sure of, is how all the worlds will fare when the fate of Asgard rests on the shoulders of Loki and the awkward astrophysicist who once was Thor’s. Post-Thor to well past Avengers, Lokane.

Incalculability & Terrors of the Forgotten by Aenigmatic

After the sacking of Asgard, a journey to Svartalfheim goes terribly wrong. But in a bid to exact vengeance, those who think themselves strong learn there are things that are hidden beyond what they can perceive.

Lost Before the Dawn/Veritas by ToryTigress92

This story just grows on you. Veritas is the sequel and it is the wonderful tale of their epic love. Summary: Jane is hired by SHIELD to work on the tesseract project, unknowing that Loki is influencing her mind, aiding her research so he can fulfill  his bargain with the Chitauri. But the trickster’s meddling might just be prove to be his undoing when Jane begins to influence him in a way no other has ever done before, and hope is rekindled for the Earth…and for Loki.

Works in Progress

Broken Things by DreamFlight

THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL WONDERFUL WELL-WRITTEN FIC THAT EXPLORES THE COMPLEXITY AND INTIMATE NATURE OF LOKANE and the universe they are in. Summary: Some things don’t go as planned. Some twists of fate lead you to places you never imagined. Some broken things are beautiful. Takes places after imagined events in Thor 2.

Beneath by Ninepen

Beneath is slow-paced but very intriguing and well-written. Summary: Loki sits in a prison cell and waits to hear his fate. If luck turns his way, that fate could provide him with another opportunity to finally earn the respect, admiration, and power he covets. He doesn’t dare dream he could return to Midgard. There he’s met a number of people of interest…but there is only one he’s vowed to visit. If Loki falls again, does another abyss await him?

All He Has Left by Lianaslane (check out her tumblr!) 

Asgard’s throne was not enough for Loki. Still feeling empty, he decides to seek revenge on his brother. Luring Jane away from Midgard, and beginning an unexpected journey through the nine realms, is only the beginning.

Apotheosis by Solain Rhyo

Jane’s life started to end after the fall of Malekith. She’s learned the hard way that even loving a god can’t keep you safe from all evils. To salvage the remnants of both her life and her sanity, she’s gone into hiding. She knew her dealings with Asgard were far from over, but she never expected to have to contend with Loki again.

Lokiday by Artemis_Day

This story is exciting with such a captivating premise: Jane and Loki are in a time loop and they must find a way to stop it. “I’m sorry, Dr. Foster, it just doesn’t make any sense. People don’t fall in love after only knowing each other for one day!” “With all due respect, Agent Romanov, it’s been a VERY long day.”

World Under Siege by Lone

The Avengers are losing the war. The world has begun to surrender to Loki and his army. After surviving on her own, Jane Foster finds herself under the control of the man who is trying to bring her world to its knees.

A Way We Go by Wbss21

Warning: A LOT of angst. Summary:Thor’s little brother is psychotic. Jane knows that. And she can’t begin to fathom why it is he’s helping them to fight back against the Dark Elves. Or why he seems concerned for her well being at all.

Our Darkest Days by Bitumz

She finds herself confused, sick, and stowed away in the Asgardian prison under the Allfather’s bitter command. He can only bear to believe that circumstances may just finally be falling into his favor. (Thor 2)

Smoke and Mirrors by SherlockianGirl

I am really loving the way Jane and Loki’s relationship is unfolding here and so well-written as it explores Yggdrasil.  Summary: Jane’s presence in Asgard plagues Loki with a nightmare he never wanted to remember. She seems too familiar, and in a moment of madness he vows to prove a connection that could threaten a tragedy greater than the one he tries to forget.

King of Dreams by Selenite

After 3 years of unavailing research, Jane meets a strange, dark-haired MIT graduate, whose brilliant mind may be the key to a breakthrough. But no one could have guessed that she might be the key to his lost memories. 

Icarus by Trinity Destler

When Loki let go of the spear, he fell- literally and figuratively- to Earth. Meanwhile, months after Thor vanished into the sky, Jane Foster is still trying to get off the ground.

Kjærlighet by MouserFluff

Jane doesn’t remember coming to Asgard; she doesn’t remember her birth parents, her home, Earth. But growing up with Loki as a friend may have developed into something…more.

One-shots/Short Fics

Drowning/Restored/The Feline Persuasion by Stalrua

THIS two-shot (Drowning/Restored) is my favorite and goodness, it is stunning and lovely. The Feline Persuasion is a cute, light-hearted companion piece of Jane and Loki adopting a cat. Summary: Life is a balance of holding on and letting go, and sometimes comfort can come from the most unlikely source.

Truths by Hollywithaneye

Warning: Angst and Heartache. It’s never too late…until it is.

In Dreams > This is Reality > Consequence by Spamberguesa

Warning: SMUT (my favorite smut piece, I may add). In which Jane has an extremely vivid dream, that might be a little more real than she’s comfortable with.

Evolutionary Imperative/Psychological Compulsion by Ideophobic 

Loki Odinson, Prince of Asgard, brother to the mighty Thor, attempted King of Midgard, was a Jotun. Jane had no idea what was coming for her.

Into the Forge by Calie15

“But, there are always times when strength is tested, when you may want to give up, fall to the ground and weep. Don’t let them see that Jane. Even when you’re scared and want to give in, you stand your ground and remind them of who you are.”

Holiday Mischief by Lianaslane

It’s the holidays, and Loki decides to pay Jane a visit. She is intrigued by the man who shows up at her door on Christmas Eve, but appearances can be deceiving.

Mating Rituals by Omnicat

Every time Loki tries to say “Will you marry me?” he instead says “I want to bear your children”. It’s getting to be a little disconcerting.

The Science of Lies by Artemis_Day

When the God of Lies and the Woman of Science meet, it can only be loud and chaotic, but maybe there can be more beneath the surface. Maybe, against all odds, there can be love. A collection of Lokane oneshots and drabbles.

Discontinued Fics

Also here’s a short list of works that has been discontinued or have not been updated for at least a year, but are still very good. But as I said, it looks like they will not be updated, so read at your own risk: The Hangman’s Hands, Up Down Emergency, Shared Silence.

anonymous asked:

Okay so this is a bit of a strange question but I'm curious since Thorne is kind of made into not really a womaniser but someone who is obviously obsessed with girls until he meets Cress so I guess I'm wondering if Thorne is still a virgin. I think it'd be adorable if both cress and him were each other's first time

Warning: discussion may not be suitable for all readers. 

You know, anon, this is something I’ve thought about a lot and have yet to come up with a concrete answer. You are right. There is definitely evidence to show that he’s not really a womanizer, like not going to the dance with 10 girls (or at all) in Carwell’s Guide to Being Lucky or necessarily flirting back when they are so obviously throwing themselves at him.

The fact that he’s actually told girls he loves them because he thought that was what he was supposed to do, tells me that he’s actually a true romantic at heart (look for my post Carswell Thorne: Hopeless Romantic coming soon [I hope]). My BFF has a theory that Thorne actually isn’t as smooth as he says/thinks he is and that all of this talk about him being good with the ladies is simply, talk. And if you think about it, he’s really just a social reject trying to come off as cool and aloof. I think that’s an interesting theory, but not fully supported by the text.

We’ve seen in Carswell’s Guide to Being Lucky and in Winter that girls/women really do throw themselves at him and he’s constantly being flirted with/hit on. We were first introduced to him as he was in his prison cell, looking at suggestive photos of the women he knows. Now, these facts aren’t proof that he’s actually had sex, but in my mind, they definitely nudge to the idea that it is highly likely that he has. Beyond this, there are other things he’s said/done that leads me to believe he isn’t a virgin. Again, not solid evidence, but consider…

1. When he and Cinder are searching Benoit Farms for Michelle and they run into Emelie instead. Thorne makes a suggestive comment about how he has played a game called Interrogation with an ex-girlfriend. 

2. Thorne was in jail in New Beijing because he attempted to rob a widow after seducing her. 

3. He has told 24 girls that he loves them because he thought that was what he was supposed to do. (Sure, this one is a stretch, but I do think sex is a circumstance in which people think using the word love is expected). 

I could very well be wrong in my assumptions because we really haven’t seen any concrete evidence confirming or denying Thorne’s virginity. I think the idea of Thorne and Cress sharing their first time together is very sweet and may satiate those who are weary about their age gap. However, I (and I may be the only one who feels this way) think having him not be a virgin speaks more highly of his character in regards to Cress.

Thorne’s arc in the series is that of the reformed bad boy. Sure, I think we can all agree that he technically wasn’t that much of a “bad boy” and that deep down, he’s always had a heart of gold. But, to me, it’s much more interesting to see how differently Thorne treats Cress versus how he treats literally every other girl on two planets. He’s so sweet to her, so kindle and gentle. Then, to see that juxtaposed with how he interacts with other girls, it just shows us how much he actually cares about her. 

I headcanon that they don’t have sex right away – that they don’t even share a room right away! I think it actually takes them quite some time (years even) to reach a point in their relationship where they even begin to breach the topic of physical intimacy. I headcanon that Thorne waits for Cress, patiently and without expectation. I almost find that more romantic, that this guy who has no romantic notions of sex realizes that it is important and waits for the right moment with the girl that he loves. 

My constant, my touchstone

[.gif by bethgreening]

I need to talk about this .gif for a minute, about both the moment itself and about how this moment is a microcosmic representation of the entire beautiful, heart-wrenching, constantly-deepening and evolving relationship these two share.

In a matter of seconds, Carol and Daryl are forced to make the decision to buckle their seatbelts and go off this bridge together. They’re both aware that they could die; it’s stamped all over them. It’s in their hitched breathing, in the terror on their faces, in the last flicker of desperate eye contact, in Carol’s tears and her spontaneous reach for Daryl’s hand, in the soft stroke of his thumb over her fingers, in the way he begs, “You hold on.”

And they go over, fingers clasped.

Cue this .gif. The instant Daryl can orient himself enough to process a thought, he’s looking at her, because the only thing that matters to him – the only goddamn thing – is that she made it through this. That she’s still here.

Her reaction mirrors his (their mirrored reactions are actually a theme throughout this entire episode). The second she soaks in the fact that he’s still breathing, she gasps out, “We’re okay, we’re okay,” almost as if to cement for herself the fact that it’s real. That he’s still here.

There’s a scene that’s beyond iconic for anyone who’s ever loved The X-Files. It takes place at the very end of episode 7x02, The Sixth Extinction: Amor Fati. In this scene, Mulder and Scully share the following exchange:

Mulder: “The end of my world was unrecognizable and upside down. There was one thing that remained the same. You were my friend, and you told me the truth. Even when the world was falling apart, you were my constant, my touchstone.”

Scully: “And you are mine.”

Generally speaking, I’m not an advocate of comparing my OTPs to well … anything else. Daryl and Carol are unlike any relationship I’ve ever seen on television, full stop. I’m not saying they’re Mulder and Scully.

However, I believe with every cell in my being that they are – beyond question or reason – each other’s constant. Each other’s touchstone.

“Consumed” is an exercise in watching these two exhausted warriors push each other, again and again, because they’ve arrived at a place in their relationship where there’s nothing between them that isn’t safe. Nothing.

It’s not hearts and flowers and love poems and rom-com tropes and bullshit.

It’s bone-deep knowledge that you’re looking straight into the eyes of the one other human being on earth who has seen every last awful thing inside of you, and loves you unconditionally anyway. (And please, just take yourself right off my blog if you need to talk about Lizzie and Mika right now. Daryl will only love Carol more when he finally learns the whole truth of what went down there, because he’ll see the depth of what she was willing to sacrifice to save Rick’s child.)

It’s knowing you’re in the presence of the person who has the courage to call you out on your own bullshit, to keep you honest even when honest isn’t pretty, to pull you back from the abyss when your own strength alone is no longer enough.

It’s sharing the moment in this .gif, the moment that says:

Thank god you didn’t die, not only because I love you selflessly, but because my world makes more sense when you’re in it.

Whatever you do, don’t think about that Kabby goodbye scene

Don’t think about the way Marcus Kane walks through that door with his hands bound and then stops short, staring at Abby, as though he didn’t know who was going to be on the other side of that door.  As though maybe he thought he was going to die without saying goodbye to her. 

Don’t think about how even with hands and feet bound and a death sentence hanging over his head, his face lights up when he sees her.

Don’t think about how he’s granted this brief moment literally on the way to his own execution - the men being marched down the hall is the very next thing we see - and yet the first thing he says Abby when he sees her is “Are you all right?”

Don’t think about Marcus in the brig, lying awake at night and wondering if Abby is all right.

Don’t think about that ghost of a smile on Abby’s face at the perfect Marcus Kane-ness of that question, that even minutes before his own death he’s not thinking about himself.  Don’t think about the way Jake smiled at her the last time she saw him, too.

Don’t think about the way the camera frames the ring around her neck and the one on her hand in nearly every shot of that scene so Jake Griffin is physically present the whole time, standing over Abby’s shoulder, all the pain rushing back to her.

Don’t think about the way she says “I won’t let this happen to you” and he takes a deep breath and his head lifts just slightly, the same way it does when he says “One of us has to stay behind, Abby.”  Don’t think about how that’s the way he looks at her when he’s trying to say, “You can’t save me from this.”

Don’t think about how in what he believes will be their last conversation, when she says “then I won’t get caught,” the memory of how crafty she is at scheming still has the power to make him laugh.

Don’t think about the way his voice breaks when he says “Please.  I’m begging you.”  Don’t think about his face at Mount Weather.

Don’t think about how he began the show thinking she was such a reckless danger to their people that she should be floated, arrested, kicked off the Council, and publicly shocklashed … and now he’s telling her she’s their people’s only hope.

Don’t think about Abby Griffin, the light in the darkness.  Don’t think about “hope is everything” and “there has to be another way” and “I have faith too, in my daughter” and “I’m not leaving you” and every other moment where she’s faced down insurmountable odds and kept her hope alive, and everyone else’s too.  Don’t think about how that’s the thing Marcus Kane loves most about her, and how he knows it’s the only thing that can save their people.

Don’t think about him metaphorically passing the Chancellor pin back to her one last time before he goes off to die.

Don’t think about how Kane and Abby’s whole relationship has been shaped by moments of frustration and even fury at each other when they each think the other isn’t listening … and yet, in the end, the important words always get through.  (“I did hear you, you know.”)  Don’t think about how repeating those words back to him later, at the end of the episode, means they’re already lodged in her heart the minute he says them.  Don’t think about those words echoing in her mind and her wondering if they mean what she wants them to mean.

Don’t think about the way Abby’s hands shake when she reaches out for his face, like she isn’t quite sure if she has permission to touch him.   She’s touched his face before, held his hand, even kissed his cheek, but this is different, because they both know what “I can’t do this again” means.  She’s just told him she’s in love with him, and he knows it, and everything’s different now.

Don’t think about Marcus Kane and Jake Griffin.  Don’t think about how unfathomable it would have been to the Kane who had Jake arrested that this moment could ever happen.  Don’t think about how “I can’t do this again” carries within it the implicit understanding that she’s long since stopped blaming him for his role in her husband’s death, or she would never be able to draw that comparison in her mind between both the men she loves.

Don’t think about her hands in his hair, her thumbs caressing his cheeks, her forehead bent against his.  Don’t think about the way she tilts her face up, moving in to kiss him, and he takes her hands in his to pull away.  Don’t think about how that means he knew she was going to kiss him.  Don’t think about the fact that Marcus Kane believes himself so unworthy of love - that he’s learned to give it, but not to receive it - that in the course of half a minute he realizes that he loves Abby, that Abby loves him back, and that this is the last time they’ll ever see each other.

Don’t think about how hard it must have been for Kane to pull away from her to stop that kiss from happening. 

Don’t think about how “Don’t make this harder than it already is” means he’s talking about both of them.  He’s telling her “Don’t cross this line, don’t get attached, don’t do something you’ll regret,” but he’s also confessing how hard this is for him.  He’s begging her not to wake something up inside them both that will be crushed mere minutes later when he’s executed by Pike.  He’s telling her how hard it is for him to say goodbye to her and the only thing they can do is not make it worse.

Don’t think about the way she stands there as he pulls away from her, tears flowing freely down her cheeks, while he holds all his emotion in.  There’s a nod and a clench of the jaw and just the hint of a trembling lip that say how unbearably close he is to falling apart completely and he wants to save her from that.  He wants her last memory of him to be that he was strong. 

Don’t think about how hard Marcus Kane is trying to die like the man he wants to be - noble, head held high, a death that means something.  Don’t think about how calm and resigned he’s been in the cell with the Grounders, Lincoln and Sinclair.  “We don’t break,” he tells them.  “We don’t show fear.   Death can be an act of unity too … the people will remember.”   Don’t think about how even minutes before death he’s still their leader.  Don’t think about how well he’s held it together throughout all of this - plotting a coup, watching it fail, being arrested and sentenced to death alongside his friends, Bellamy’s betrayal - and nothing has threatened to break him … until this.

Don’t think about how the only thing Marcus Kane can’t face leaving behind is Abby Griffin.

Don’t think about how “I had those fears myself” means this isn’t the first time he’s panicked about losing her.  Don’t think about Mount Weather, about the explosion on the Ark, about the avalanche underground.  Don’t think about how they’ve both faced death so many times and survived, but this time he believes that he won’t.

Don’t think about the fact that he believes this is the last time they’ll ever see each other and yet it’s so painful to be near her, it’s so unbearable to say goodbye, that even though Pike gave him five minutes he didn’t even use two of them.

Don’t think about the fact that he doesn’t say “May we meet again.”

Title: Dancing With You

Note: Recently I watched the new Cinderella movie and couldn’t help but think afterwards that Ladybug and Chat Noir do so much for others - they deserve a little fairytale night. It’s short but I hope you enjoy.

You can also read it here

Keep reading

                        ☆ HAPPY ONE YEAR, CUTIESINTOWN! ☆

            Okay. First of all I want to thank all of you for staying with me for a year now, woah. Seriously, thank you so much. One year, a bunch of followers and a lot of people who earned a place in my heart. A lot of you know that even when I’ve been roleplaying in Tumblr for almost three years now, I belong to the spanish community. Originally. And as obvious as it sounds, it was so difficult to join this community for so many reasons. One, I came here by my own, I didn’t know a single person because all my friends and partners decided to continue in the other community (which I couldn’t stand for personal reasons). Two, I wasn’t familiar with the multiship thing so I didn’t get it at first. I’ve never had done something like that before and I found it pretty strange at first. And last but not least, the language. I’ve never been to UK, US, Australia or any place with English as their first language but I attended some institute for a long time when I was little and I’ve taken some Cambridge and Oxford exams but that’s all. I feel so insecure about my language and I’m incredibly thankful for all the patience and understanding I’ve received here. Thank you so so so much, you honestly have no idea of how welcome I feel here. I never thought I could make friends here and I’ve made a lot, it’s unreal. But it’s really amazing because you’re all so kind to me for no reason??? And now I’m staying here because I’ve found a family here. And there’s no way I’m leaving you.

Here's to the people who I consider my best friends. We've been roleplaying for a while now and we talk ooc a lot. I can completely trust on them and they know I'm always here if they need me. I love you guys with every cell inside my body. You guys are amazing and I could have never asked for better people to consider my friends.

            ♥ exquisitelunacy: ESZTER! MOON OF MY LIFE! You’re my favorite for so many reasons. You’re an incredibly writer (and English isn’t even your first language) and and amazing friend. We talk every single day about random topics and we have so many brotps and ships and threads that make me want to die. You’re just so precious and I want to keep you with me until the end of times because honestly, I could say you’re one of my best friends here even when we don’t know each other for that long. I still believe we’ve known each other for years now and that’s creepy, but awesome. I wish you the best and I’m sorry but I have to talk about Bill and that freaking cat, I don’t care anymore. God, just imagine if people here read our conversations on Kik. God help us all, you’re so insane and I love you to the moon and back. Seb and Trent will be always in my heart, goodbye.

            ♥ bitterserenades: You’re one of the reasons I come back here even when I’m feeling down or I’m not feeling like writing anymore. If I’m always here, it’s because of you but I think you already know that. You’re one of the most important people I have here and I’m so grateful for having you as my friend. Your writing skills are perfect and every character of yours is a absolute masterpiece. You should be really proud of yourself because you’re nothing but perfect, Rebecca. You make me laugh and cry at the same time because you know, Tucklena and Jallie. Remember when I replied to a starter from Callie and I was like hey I don’t like Perrie but I liked your starter so let’s do the thing? AND WE ENDED UP WITH A FABULOUS SHIP. That’s so insane, wow. And Tucklena is probably the biggest angst plot I’ve ever had but it’s the cutest. I love you so much and I’m never letting you go.

            ♥ xivresse: THE ULTIMATE BAE NAIOMI. You’re probably the one who makes me laugh the most. It doesn’t matter if we’re roleplaying or not, we’re always talking about non sense and about my brother and everything. Let’s ignore the fact he’s dating some bitch, shall we? The important thing is that I’m saving him for you because you being a part of my family would be awesome, don’t deny it. I adore you even when you love my brother more than me. I don’t care because I have enough love for both of us. Someday I’ll go to New York or you’ll come to Chile and we will be happy. That’s a promise, yes, yes. Thank you for sticking with me all these months, you’re nothing but perfection and I just owe you a lot.

            ♥ midnightskyx: Remember that time when you had your first blog and I was super scared to talk to you? Good times. I was so nervous but finally decided to ask for a plot and surprise, you said yes. And we started doing things and I couldn’t be more grateful. You’re just so precious, awesome and an incredibly writer. I think you take so much bullshit here from time to time and I get so sad because you don’t deserve it. You’re an amazing person, mother and roleplayer and you should be super proud of yourself. We have amazing brotps and ships and I never feel forced to reply when it comes to you and I really appreciate it. Thank you for listening me when I have troubles and for giving me some words of wisdom. You’re honestly the best.

            ♥ sweetrigmaroles: Sarah, my little cupcake. I love you so so so much I had to put you in the VIP section because you’re one of my favorites. We’ve been roleplaying for a long time now and you’re an A+ roleplayer. Jassia and Kesse (is that the ship name?) are my favorites for some many reasons and one of those reasons is the fact I actually think I can develop both Jesse and Cassia with you and that’s the ultimate goal, right? Because come on, we’ve been through a lot with Jassia and Cass is probably the character I’ve developed the most and that’s everything because of you. And don’t get me started about Jesse and Kaya because they’re OTP. OTP forever. And I’m going to add Patch and Valerie for obvious reasons. I love you, Sarah. So so so much, please never forget that.

            ♥ hxrmonic: You’re one of the most ridiculous people I’ve had the disgrace to meet. I’m kidding, I’m kidding, you’re perfect. Well, you’re a little shit after all but hey, I’m your little shit as well so it’s mutual. You’re hilarious and I love you a lot. Thank you for staying with me all this time because I know I can be a little difficult from time to time but here we are, still talking and still roleplaying. I hope we still talk until the end of times because you’re perfect and I need you in my life. Okay? Okay.

            ♥ chaingangofindierp: No veo por qué hay una razón de escribir esto en inglés así que lo haré en español. A ti te conozco hace años, mucho tiempo en realidad. Siempre he amado la forma en la que escribes y las ideas que tienes en tu mente. Tienes una imaginación increíble y muchas veces me pregunto cómo alguien puede tener tantas ideas con tanto potencial, porque la verdad es que yo no puedo. Eres una persona hermosa por dentro y por fuera, y te debo muchísimo. Gracias por esperarme años para que conteste, por quedarte hablando conmigo hasta altas horas de la madrugada y por planear plots que sabemos de antemano que nos destruirán, dejándonos como escorias humanas frente al computador. Te quiero mucho y serás por siempre una de mis partners favoritas, esté en la comunidad que esté. Eso no cambiará jamás, amiga.

            ♥ ubxquitous: La verdad es que no sabía si escribir esto en español o en inglés pero como me da mucha pereza hacerlo en inglés, pues te jodes y te aguantes, eh. Miranda Panda, te quiero muchísimo y muero de la risa cada vez que me hablas por Whatsapp. Ya sea para hablar de fútbol, de tu gramática española o para armar esos plots que NUNCA hicimos porque somos muy geniales, ayyyyyy. Eres la mejor de las mejores y espero que volvamos a hablar tanto como lo hacíamos antes porque te extraño mucho muuuuuuuuuuucho.

Here's to the people who roleplay with me and I adore them to death. Thank you for being so understanding when I'm not feeling it or when I'm super busy because of the university. You guys rock and I love you to the moon and back!

            couragcous | terriiblelove | forgctten | femalerobberyx |  blondiesandbrunesghostofhabits | senzxamore | efflcresce | lxttleme | contrariis | bloodyoriginxl | goldenprincxss | initiatixn | stolendignity | icexmeltingrp | xdavntlessx | fxckerspce | degenerxtes 

And finally, here's to the people I stalk from afar because I'm so scared to talk to you. If you're here, then we should totally plot because you're super amazing and it would be a privilege, seriously. Wow, this is awkward. Sorry if I forgot people!

            valleyofdclls | astrales | glxwinthedark | xoxonyc | araneax | arcticmvnkcys | drxfters | forbiddcn | royclty | chemicalstouch | flushedfloral | hxtchersxn | rydellsdirtbags | rhapsodicals | rosepctals | vegasdoe | tuckeredaway | exposedemotions | thxdreamers | durmiendox | sinsandsmokex | onedxrtroad | cemxterydrive | illumincte | disloyalyouth | argxnts | goblinyonkers | loveiswater | cloudedgrey | fracturedxsoul | gclddigger | turbiidus | rxdioxctives | ghostsx | 90srejects | wallflxwers | frxgiledove | missingpixces | taintedreamers | honestlylila | tempestvous | unwcrthy | dandelicn | asterxismos | rambuncticus | dominxnt | vxciferous | dxspised | crxshes | criminalxmind | coxky | detrivs | younglicn | epiphxny | scrxwedup | irresistiblxs | mclancholic | mornignglory | neglectfuls | recklessxones | dysfnctional | pxssibilities | aviusxavium | bluerxses | ringleadcr | dxsturbia | fcktoxics | imxginary | nxrthlanes | runncrs | toygvns | chandelicr | valixnt | youngvolcvnoes | youngwildfreakx | ciigxrettes | drumsavior | thefxithfuls | rixts | invxgorate | dastardlyduos | fadedisasters | fuckingtitsx | featherstxne | callousinsides | quarxntine | thereservoir–dogs | fragmentedtranquility | divxrgentx | ignorcnce | absolutehorror | rosepctals | thosegxrls | ingxnue | unravelxdwords | x–inmente | thealwaysforgotten | trulymxdly | lesbehcnestx | nvclearsouls | shattxerme | fckingdreamers | effxlgent | teenagemalice | stepsiblinqs + blogroll.

SPECIAL MENTION;

            Thanks to my friend Francie for making this beautiful graphic for this important occasion. You’re the best and I love you so so so much. Guys, I promise you… She’s not in the indie community but she’s an A+ writer. One of the best. I’m trying to get her into this community and when that happens, you’ll see how awesome she is.

The real meaning behind Hook’s speech in 2x09- META TIME.

Now that we all know some of Killian’s backstory (including that little snippet that Adam posted- the “almost canon” script tease) we know that he too has been let down a lot. He’s been abandoned and hurt and afraid as a child too. He and Emma are kindred spirits, really. The reason he was so familiar with the look in an orphan’s eyes is because it’s the same one he saw every day in the mirror, and in his brother’s eyes. It’s one he knows well, because he’s been the poor child whom life has fucked over. He’s been that sad, lost little boy, too. Only for far longer…

When he met Emma, there was obviously a shift in him. Rewatch Tallahassee and honestly tell me that after being up on the beanstalk, he hasn’t ALREADY started to fall for Emma. I dare you. Because it’s true. Both Jen and Colin have even confirmed it; they HAD feelings for each other even as far back as Tallahassee, but because they were both so used to being let down and hurt by other people, they didn’t acknowledge them at all. They were too afraid of being let down again, to even feel their feelings at all for each other. People always talk about this episode 100% from Emma’s POV, but now that we know Hook’s story a little better, we know that he came from a poor situation too, that his upbringing was hard and that he was essentially an orphan too. They saw that in each other, an understanding of sorts. The way HE was feeling is really important to this meta. 

When Emma Swan came into Killian Jones’ life, she was like a light in a dark sea, like seeing the sun again after a long and harsh winter. She was this new energy. He even managed to- visibly- forget about Milah while he was with her, and I think that both scared him (like, would it interfere with his “life’s mission” of killing Rumplestiltskin?) and drew him in (maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to let her in…) and you can see the cogs in his head just turning away because he’s met this woman who is just so wow, he can barely believe it (A+ acting, Colin). Like, his questions weren’t sexual, they were about being in love and how it felt to be an orphan, abandoned and alone. He was asking questions that were important to HIM, and you can’t tell me he would’ve asked those questions to just anybody.

And then when she left him, I think his feelings were supposed to parallel her own when she was left alone. He would have been hurt. He’d try not to show it and move on, getting back in with Cora just to spite her. He’d do his fucking best not to show how much it affected him, but it did and I JUST UNDERSTOOD TO WHAT DEGREE. Let’s do a play- by- play here, because it’s intense. I literally rewatched this scene 50 times in the past couple hours, so I feel this isn’t just a crapshoot and I have a really good idea of what I’m talking about.

In 2x09, when Emma is behind the bars of Rumple’s cell, she calls out to Hook and says “please don’t do this. My son is in Storybrooke, he needs me.” She is scared for her son, obviously doesn’t get what she’s done (to Hook). She just wants to go home. She left him because she was scared and that’s all she knows. Her side.

Hook responds “Perhaps you should have considered that before abandoning me on that beanstalk.” He is angry- legitimately angry, not just “I’m a pirate and that sort of irritated me a bit”- at her for leaving him up there. Look at his face.


Emma deflects with “You would’ve done the same.” She’s trying to justify her actions, to him and to herself, because on some level, she feels bad. 

Hook’s expression softens considerably in the moments before he answers her; he looks almost sad. Hurt, even. “Actually, no.”  He is implying that she did exactly what was done to her (she abandoned him just like she was abandoned, herself) and you can tell it stings her like a fucking knife because she knows it’s true. This is actually a huge piece of character development. For both of them, though Hook you won’t know until season 3. 

Hook then continues by taking out the bean on the necklace and dangling it in front of Emma. “Do you know what this is, Emma?” He keeps it just out of reach, because his trust in her is gone. I used to think he was just callous and cruel, but his every move is planned. He dangles it for her and yanks it away because that’s how it felt to be left up there and the rug pulled out from under him.

“The bean that the giant kept!” 

“Yes, indeed. A pirate always keeps a souvenir of his conquest.” <— I call bullshit. We’ve seen this man fight like, 100 foes and he has only kept SIGNIFICANT items (Liam’s name tag from the satchel, Baelfire’s cutlass, Milah’s drawing, the Jolly Roger’s rigging); we have NEVER seen him take something from any situation that wasn’t important to him. So, the fact that he has this bean in the first place is a huge deal and we really don’t talk about it enough. No, sir, you don’t keep a souvenir from EVERY conquest, just the meaningful ones. And yes, you are sentimental as fuck. 

“But this… this is much more than a mere trinket.”Pan to Emma staring at the bean. 

“This is a symbol. Of something that was once magical, (pan to Snow and then back to Hook) full of hope and possibility.” Emma again.

 Note how he NEVER takes his eyes off Emma while he says this, and how he goes from that careless, Idgaf smile, to angry.

“Now look at it. Dried up, dead, useless…” He’s trying to look like he doesn’t care still, but it’s there. He’s sad, because he’s been let down again and why should he have expected anything different?

“Much like you…. Just as I am done with you.”

I just fucking realized TODAY that Hook never stopped caring. He NEVER stopped caring, he just tried to pretend like he stopped. That’s his coping mechanism, that’s just what he does. And that the reason for that long speech is because he was talking about Emma, not the fucking bean. It had literally nothing to do with the bean. He was telling her (without telling) her that he saw her as a light, that she was hope and magic and full of possibility, and now she’s just dead (because for her to leave him she must be dead inside, I guess). Because it actually really hurt him. He thought that, with a woman who has had such a similar upbringing, the last thing she would do was leave. He’s calling her on her shit after she called him on his. Their feelings were already there, but he admitted so much with one little speech and WHY DON’T WE TALK ABOUT THIS MORE?????

SHE WAS HIS FUCKING HOPE. I have rewatched this scene probably 50 times today and he was fucking telling her HIS PERSONAL FEELINGS THROUGH THAT SYMBOLIC BEAN. 

SHE WAS HIS HOPE. 

That’s how he saw her. He saw potential- in himself- for the first time, to let someone in again. To not focus on hate all the time. To be happy. He saw that potential in Tallahassee and he admitted it to her. 

I am not ok right now.