Do you all know that I love birds
Not in an “I have an obsession with studying the most exotic birds on the planet”, or an “I have pet birds way”. All of them…I love all of the birds.
Pigeons? Colourful, fluffy little weirdos. Like ridiculously weird. Have you ever watched their mating dances? Seen one sheltering under another’s wing in the rain?
Seagulls? Don’t give one single solitary fuck. Will swoop down and knock the burger from your hand as you leave McDonalds then calmly eat it right there on the ground in front of you. Will land on your car roof at a traffic light and stay on after you start going again.
Corvids? They’re smarter than you and they know it.
Swans? Consummate badasses. Majestic assholes who will kick your ass if you look at them wrong. Elegant yachts on the water and clumsy clowns everywhere else.
I mean, they fly. What else could you want in any animal?
But even the ones who can’t…
Chickens? Also feathery weirdos. Pigeons’ bigger siblings. Don’t tend to know what they’re doing half the time unless there’s food involved.
Ostriches? Bigger assholes than swans if that’s possible. And thick as two planks to boot.
Name a bird and I love it.