otp: emergency room

I spend 23 hours a day wondering whether we are wrong für each other. Wondering whether we’ve got the energy that we need to get through everything that we seem to get into. Whether the baggage we both bring whould sink a small ship. But in the 24th hour, I realize I’ve been thinking about her for 23 hours. And I come back to, there’s something about her that I can’t stay away from. Something about her that makes me wanna love her.
—  John Carter - ER
Sometimes I’m made of pussywillow, sometimes I’m made of what mountains are made of when they laugh at the wind for trying to blow them down, but sometimes I’m made of glass. I don’t want to say be careful though; I don’t really need you to be careful; I just want to say that I can’t help it if I’m sharp when I shatter. Don’t tell me it’s silly that I’m afraid of the dark, just fuck me with all the lights on in the middle of the day.
—  Dia Davina
Weirdest ER Story; Disclaimer: Might Make You Cringe

So, I’m always asked about the weirdest thing I’ve seen since I work in the ER (well here it goes.)

One night I saw the next patient up had the chief complaint of toe amputation. To me, that could mean many things. Does he need his toe amputated? Did his toe get amputated by something and he needs it sewn back on? Let the investigation proceed!

Upon walking into the room with the physician, the patient has a bloody bandage wrapped around his foot. Upon questioning the patient, we come to find he has diabetic neuropathy (which results in basically no feeling in your lower extremities.) He states he recently had a toe nail removed and that the area was draining. This is where it gets weird.

The patient states he woke up in the morning and his big toe was GONE. Kapoof! The area that used to be his big toe was nothing but a nub? But where did his toe go!? It turns out while he was sleeping, the patient’s dog smelled the draining area, thought it was a snack, and chewed away. Because of the patient’s neuropathy, he didn’t feel a thing.

And there you have it. The weirdest ER story (to date.)

In the emergency room for the first time having my first kidney stone. Dude, these fucking meds. It’s amazing. I was in pain for two hours, the last hour of which was spent crying and curled up on the waiting room, trying not to scream in pain. But this thing had better pass while I’m still numbed.

Edit/Update: it’s 3mm so I can pass it. I’m getting like three meds and going home. Yaaaay meds. I should be fine but still… This is going to hurt. A stone through my dick? Yeah no. Let’s not ever do this again.

So, guess who spent Friday morning in the Emergency Room?

ME!  Yeah, something food-wise made me sick Wednesday night, then food-poisoning turned into severe dehydration.  Which then turned into throwing up everything.  Which triggered migraine of the century.  And of course I couldn’t keep any pills in me, so there was no stopping the pain train.

So I went to the ER and had the nicest doctor and nicest nurses.  And an IV that made all the bad things go away.  Seriously, IVs are the best.