otp: all that matters is us here now



“I touched his tongue with my own, and held his face between my hands. He hadn’t shaved since morning, and the faint red stubble rasped pleasantly beneath my fingertips. 

He lowered himself and rolled slightly to one side, so as not to crush me with his weight, and we went on, touching all along our lengths, joined in closeness, speaking in silent tongues. 

Alive, and one. We are one, and while we love, death will never touch us. 


But we were here together, and no one and nothing mattered beyond that fact." 

- Dragonfly in Amber


I saw Tom today. He had some work here, and I needed to sign something… It doesn’t matter. But I started thinking about why I finally told him about you and me, ‘cause at the time I thought it was the only way to save us. But now, I think I wanted him to leave. I wrote the algorithm. I did it for Boz, to help him. He lost all of his money, and he hasn’t told Diane, and it’s a big mess. But part of me just… wanted to see if I could do it. I’m sorry.

I’m literally going mad and I’m not kidding. There were times when I didn’t have any problems over shows, movies or characters but then it came and I saw Sherlock (BBC) and in that moment it all began. I immediately fell in love with this show and wanted more and more. But not just because it was funny and thrilling, but because there were these two:

Originally posted by rosegoldsherlock

And well at the beginning I didn’t think there was some obsession growing inside my brain. I just like them and wanted them to be together…. more than just friends. And that was how it all began. Since then I’ve watched many shows and movies where I chose my OTPs, which were perfectly straight (malexfemale), hoping that one day they would be together. And most of the times they were. But then something again happened with me and instead of wanting this to happen: 

Originally posted by samstevenat

I wanted this to happen: 

Originally posted by letitrado

And that was the ship that made me read fanfictions. I can honestly say that this one ship in particular started my obsession, which is horrible because most of the people rather ship Stucky then Stony, but I wanted to be somehow different I guess. So I read multiple fanfictions about them and still I can’t say I’ve had enough of them. They’ve become one of my OTPs. But then it seemed that everything was fine again. I started to watch other shows like Arrow for example and it took me some time to find my OTP even in this show, because at first I wanted this to happen:

Originally posted by feministlaurellance-archive

And then when they made clear that wasn’t going to happen at all I opened my eyes to something new. And you don’t have to super intelligent to know what I mean: 

Originally posted by marap

And this is one of the hardest honestly because not everyone can say which one of their OTPs they love most above everything else. Well, I think I could say that at the time. Olicity was my all the time favorite OTP and even my family didn’t see me going so crazy over two characters being together before. I’ve read countless fanfictions about them, hoping that one day they would be together and my dreams indeed came true, but then again something strange happened. The Flash happened and instead of shipping Westallen or Snowbarry like any other ordinary girl I begin to enjoy these two:

Originally posted by thescarletspeedstress

And this is really crazy, because I immediately wanted to read fanfictions about them, because what else I could do? But considering shipping them together as couple is not so popular there are not many fanfictions about them and the ones I found were 90% oneshots. I hate oneshots, because I need longer stories, I need build-up, so this was the one ship that made me write my first fanfiction about TV show characters, so at least in some way I could enjoy them being together. Did it help me? Well I have no idea, to be honest. They certainly made me even more crazy then before. But then another malexmale ship came when I saw one movie: 

Originally posted by fangirl-plus

And now I can say I’m done, because I realized that for some reason it doesn’t matter how cool they make malexfemale relationship I would never enjoy it like I enjoy malexmale relationship. I don’t know why considering I am knew to all of this, but I feel this way. And now when I see fangirls going all crazy over malexfemale ship, that they are not together and something like that, I can’t help and just melancholically smile that my OTPs are never going to be together, because my OTPs are malexmale and in the movies or shows they are straight, so there is no chance. So who has it hard now? Because I chose to ship them and they will never be together and there is nothing I can do about it, then just read fanfictions or write them. But even so, I will never be able to have that feeling I used to have when my OTPs became cannon. That feeling was always priceless, because many people were saying that they would never be together and I still believed. Now it all makes me a little sad, that even when I find normal ship it is only a matter of time before I switch to malexmale ship. And I don’t know why I needed to post it on here. I just felt like writing about my emotions and depressions was a good idea. Maybe no one will read this and maybe someone will and somehow say something to put me down for even thinking about such things. But even so I needed to write about it. At some point it made me feel better. 


Rating: T
Pairing: Natsu/Lucy
Summary: The countdown to a new life is both exhilarating and terrifying at the same time.
A/N: This was an idea that just came over me one night and it wouldn’t leave me alone until I wrote it down. The format for this story is so very different to what I’m used to, and I was a bit nervous finishing it, but I had a lot of fun doing it. And hey, it’s rather fitting for New Year’s, is it not?

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