otp: a writer and his muse

‘He loved you.’

She nodded, “Yes, he did. But, he didn’t love himself. He saw himself as a bad guy, a guy who destroyed the good and ruined everything in his path. So, he forced himself to do just that. To ruin us, destroy what we had.’

‘Would you go back?’

'Yes.’ Because as sick as it was, even if he chose to break her again, she would do anything to have him one more time.

‘You have to let me in.’ Her hands ran up his arms. 'I want this. I want you, but I won’t let you shut me out. If you do, we don’t stand a chance of surviving.’

He tried to turn his head away, 'I’m a monster, why can’t you see that?’

'Because you have never been a monster to me. You have always been a man. A man that has taken care of me and always made sure I was safe.’ His body was tensing up and she was afraid she had pushed too far. She turned to walk away, but he grabbed her wrist, pulling her close to him. 

'I love you.’ He whispered into her hair, breathing in her scent and letting it calm him.

I’ve been thinking a lot about Rory and Jess’ most iconic moments, and I’ve been struck by the feeling that one of the reasons their relationship is so special is very difficult to put into words. It’s like - every single moment between them feels important, no matter how insignificant it may be in the long run. Every scene they share is dripping with tension, whether it’s good, bad or somewhere in between. 

I think this can partially be attributed to the actors’ chemistry and the fact that compared to Rory’s other relationships, very little was shown and so what was shown was often pretty ‘major’. It never got to the point of being worn out - they’d always leave things slightly unresolved, never quite achieving closure. 

But I think beyond that, it has something to do with the fact that even from the beginning the writers had a much bigger arc planned for Jess than what Milo was available for/willing to do. This meant every scene he was in felt very deliberate - they never held back with his character.

It’s interesting when you compare it to Rory’s relationships with Dean and Logan. No matter how you feel about Dean in the early seasons, there’s really no debating that by season 5 his character had long overstayed his welcome and was no longer particularly engaging or important to the story. 

With Logan, it felt like they had a decent amount of interesting things planned for him at the beginning but at some point that began to wane and he was just there (whether his role was significant or not) because they didn’t want to waste an actor they were paying to be there full time. There were so many moments in Rory’s relationships with Dean and Logan (particularly later on) where it felt like it was more about honoring acting contracts than having interesting plots for them to be involved with. 

But with Jess it was exactly the opposite - even when he was a regular on the show his scenes (particularly with Rory) were somewhat sporadic - it’s like the writers realized early on that there was this beautiful energy he exuded and tension he created that could only be maintained if they were frugal with how they used him - in a way, with Rory and Jess, less was more. 

‘You’re leaving, aren’t you?’
It was less of a question than it was an affirmation. 
She didn’t blame him. 
That didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. 
With a slow nod of his head, a sob escaped her trembling lips. 
‘Do me a favor? Stay one more night. Let me fall asleep with our legs tangled together and my head on your chest.’
It would make everything so much worse for them tomorrow, but in reality, they both secretly enjoyed the pain.