Polyamory and breakups

Being in polyamorous relationships, for me, has meant that I intentionally and critically question and talk through every aspect of a relationship with any person I am entering said relationship with.

It has meant a tremendous amount of effort put toward open and honest communication, with the goal of eliminating silent expectations.

In the beginning of a relationship, I invest a lot of time into the conversation of “who are we to each other?”

Whether we choose commonly used terms like “girlfriend” and “boyfriend” or create our own language to describe the relationship, it is always followed by:

“what does that mean to you?”

Putting this effort in on the front end helps lay a foundation for successful communication about issues that come up within the relationship.

So what about when the relationship ends?

In monogamy, when a relationship ends, there are a series of actions that are expected to occur, immediately:

  • Cease all forms of physical contact, intimacy, or tenderness
  • Change communication to platonic, or cease communication
  • Sever all ties to close friends and family of the other person
  • Inform others promptly of the split
  • Separate shared assets, divide belongings
  • Cease cohabitation if it is taking place
  • etc.

In polyamory, with relationships that are as complicated and nuanced as the individuals within them, the process of breaking up is far less clear.

Is this a shift in the nature of our relationship, or a termination of it?
Are we ending our relationship romantically? Physically? Both?
Does this come from incompatibility, disinterest, or a lack of love? Something else altogether?
What will change, and what will not change?

Every single individual aspect of the relationship that was originally negotiated becomes re-negotiated during the process of breaking up, ending, changing, shifting, or re-evaluating an existing relationship.

It’s a parallel conversation through and through.

What will you call me in the new relationship we are entering?
Who will I be to you after this transition?

Will our relationship include sexual or physical components?
Are we terminating the sexual and physical components of this relationship?

How will you expect me to support you when things are difficult?
Is my emotional support still warranted, or should I redirect that energy?

In my opinion, a breakup that comes from incompatibility, versus a breakup that comes from abuse or lack of love, can usually be approached with tenderness and care by the individuals involved.

All the time and energy that went into constructing a relationship that was meant to fit the people involved can be brought to the process of breaking that relationship up.

This compassionate approach to ending a relationship can result in a lot of wonderful things:

  • Closure about why the relationship needs to change or end
  • Explanation for the ways that things did and didn’t work
  • Termination of parts of the relationship that are damaging
  • Potential to salvage parts of the relationship that are still positive
  • Potential to maintain a compassionate and loving approach to the people involved
  • Knowledge of self and others
  • Ability to express needs, wants, etc. that might not have been expressed in the relationship

Breaking up can be sad and frustrating and overwhelming and exhausting, but if the people involved care deeply about each other it is possible for breaking up to be a new beginning in the same moment as it is an end.

lowat-golden-tower  asked:

Oho! Their own fears? Could we hear about that? What each of them is most terrified of? (If you've already made a post like this, then nevermind. X'D)

(Ok, so a couple people have asked for this one, so here we go!)


Host–crowds and loud noises

King of the Squirrels–thunderstorms

Google–Warfstache’s void

Doc–failure or disappointing others

Ed–pineapples and hand lotion; especially pineapple scented hand lotion

Silver–the dark

Wilford–Kathryn’s wrath

Dark–being unable to move/breathe and small spaces

✧ — ░ under the cut, you’ll find just a little more than #135 connection ideas because i’m tired of doing the same plot over and over again (i’m looking @ you, bandom. if one more person tells me they’re ‘up for anything’ but have no ideas i’ll scream). this list was made with band rps in mind, but can easily work for any rp. in my opinion, each of these ideas stand strong on their own but can become more interesting if certain ones are combined. please like/reblog if you find this list useful!!  

Keep reading

How to Make a Magic Learning Discord Server That Won't Fail

Many people make discord servers for the purpose of learning and sharing magical experiences, which is wonderful! However, many times these servers eventually fail. Here’s some advice so your server doesn’t end up being one of them.

As a general tip, a more specific discord will foster more learning than a general one. In a more specific discord, everyone already has common purposes and experience, thus more chances for complementary knowledge. A green witchcraft discord would get further than a simple “magic” discord; a shamanism discord would have more learning than a spirit work discord. A discord for specifically vampiric spirits/spirit companions would have more learning than a spirit work discord.

Note that the point is learning. Servers where you simply hang out with other practitioners are fun, however their often general nature is not conducive to learning in depth. “Yeah, this spirit species exists and is cool!” does not have the same depth quality as “I had this experience with your X spirits, this is how they manifested to me, this is their energy signature; my experience was different because Q…..but it was similar in Y….”.

On to the rest of the post,

Failure of a server defined as:

  • People rarely talked in the first place; a lot of people joined but nobody talks, so eventually everyone just leaves
  • There’s so much drama/BS that nobody wants to go on/people leave
  • Learning conversations never reach a certain amount of depth; only shallow knowledge is communicated at best. Nobody learns anything.
  • The server is so poorly organized/structured that nobody has any idea where anything is and therefore defeats the purpose of learning


Add channels as needed, more channels are always better than less. With the “mute” function and the ability to turn off notifications yet still be able to see new messages, there is no reason to limit the amount of channels.

Have resource channels. These are channels centered around a very specific purpose; they are reference channels where only the resources are posted and no discussion should take place. Discussion on things posted should take place in OTHER channels. These are extremely important for organization! Suggested reference channels are bolded, below.

Suggested Base Channels (and explanation):

  • Rules -duh
  • Introduction- duh
  • Structure (roles, suggestions, server-wide announcements)
  • General -anything goes
  • Magic general -anything vaguely magical can go here
  • Divination_readings
  • Nsfw -duh
  • Resources_library
  • Salt_vent -Any salt or vent topics. (May want to set/limit rules to amount of salt [or not]. As some people feel morally bad just for being in a server where people are salty)

Again, make more channels based on what your server is around. The more specific each channel, the better. For example, in an energy work discord, the channels #energy_healing, #energy_experiments, #energy_classification would be more useful than a single #energy_work channel.

Suggested Introduction for a magic learning discord:

Name, Age, Pronouns, What I do (Labels), What I know, What I want to know, General About (Anything else like interests/hobbies/etc can go in the general about).

Feel free to customize this to your server’s needs!

Screening People:


    • Whether they’re mature or not is literally like playing russian roulette (and often times, they won’t be mature/their true maturity level will show at the tiniest problem)
    • Often poor magical discernment
    • Often beginners who will have nothing to contribute
    • Can’t talk about dicks/vag/other sexual adult topics (whether ur bangin spirits or other ppl)
    • Through tumblr you WILL get those minors who expect you to tag every single “trigger” ever instead of having the maturity to, you know, leave the conversation if a conversation makes them upset/has triggering content. And those minors who do not know the difference between their legitimate triggers  (things that cause panic attacks) versus things that make them uncomfortable (not actual triggers by the psychological definition).
    • If you let minors in you WILL have to play babysitting, mediator, teacher, advisor, etc; in addition, some minors will feel entitled to it and will get offended if you do not fulfill those roles for them.
    • My dude if this isn’t enough to convince you to not let minors in. Make a server with minors and see me after class
  • Do not make the server public/let anyone join freely- trust me, even if you start with only your friends, it WILL grow.
  • This is also because many people will not be open to talking about certain parts of their practice with absolute strangers. Therefore, trust is necessary to having in-depth conversations.
  • Limit 30 people. Think of actual classroom sizes- it always gets hectic when numbers go above 30. (talkin actual classrooms where discussion takes place, not lecture halls)
  • Do not invite anyone you know is easily offended/can’t handle disagreeing without feeling insecure
  • Do not invite anyone who is very much into the “tumblr mindset” (fits into the above point)
  • DO invite people who have basic critical thinking skills (will often correlate with not being of the tumblr mindset). Some basic critical thinking skills are:
    • Understanding that just because someone has a different experience, it doesn’t invalidate theirs
    • Understanding that a word can have multiple definitions
    • Knowing that analyzing something and bashing it are two completely different things
    • Understanding that there are often multiple methods to do things and that they can all be “right” simultaneously
    • Understand that even with the above point, methods may still be improved upon and some are/can be more effective than others
    • Able to extract applicable, impersonal info from personal experience
    • Etc…definitely not limited to this list.
  • Do not invite anyone who does not fit the salt level (or lack thereof) in the chat
  • Have mostly people with established practices and experience. Limit beginners to only those you know will put in the work on their own, know how to ask the right questions, and won’t obligate you to hold their magical hand.
    • This is because with too many beginners, learning/lesson/info/discussion/theoretical conversations will be shallow at best, because they will constantly be interrupted by “What is X??? What is Y?? How does (x basic thing all the experienced people already know) work??” And of course, since beginners have no idea what is going on, they will have nothing to add to the discussion.

Suggested Rules/Base Rules:

Feel free to literally copy/paste these! In fact I encourage it because they are good rules that have stood the test of time. Italicized is commentary/explanation/examples.

Welcome! Please read all rules before you post anything, and write a little introduction for yourself in the #introduce_yourself chat.

RULE ZERO: This is a dictatorship channel. Admins reserve the right to boot people without notice, override our own rules, etc. We say this because we will not tolerate attempts to manipulate loopholes in the own rules.

Yes, you must make it clear as fuck that you rule the server. If your rules and hand of justice are even, then as ADULTS (hint hint) everyone in the chat should understand.

Concerning Publicity/New People

-Do not post the link to this server publicly. Some of us are not comfortable with being publicly associated with paganism/the metaphysical. This includes tumblr and any other internet website.

-Please ask some people for an okay before adding someone new.


Concerning Problems/Drama (Aka “reasons to not have minors”)

-If you have a problem with anyone in the chat, deal with it privately unless it involves them breaking the listed rules.

-As an 18+ chat you are expected to have the discernment of offensive things of an adult, and the maturity to handle it if offended.

-Since this is an adult chat and adult topics will be discussed, if you ever feel uncomfortable with what it being talked or are triggered, about please remove yourself from the chat; it is your responsibility to leave the channel and calm down. We are all adults here. We are not going to stop a conversation because someone is upset.

-What happens in the server stays in the server. Keep drama that occurs to yourself and don’t go making public posts about it. Don’t be gossiping or sending screenshots about what has been discussed here in an attempt to instigate drama or whatnot. If found out, you will be banned.

-Criticism/analysis is not the same as outright insulting/bashing. If you are not mature enough to handle this, please refrain from participating in the debates and/or remove yourself from the server.

-If questioning/analyzing different working methods, paths, etc, makes you uncomfortable, insecure, or feel invalidated, then this server is not for you.

-No reading, scanning, or visiting people, and interacting with their spirits/entities/companions without permission. For privacy, respect, and ward reasons.

-Keep salt/vent discussion to the salt/vent channel(s). Do not dump it in another channel if the vent channel is already busy.

-Yes, we know All Paths Are Valid(™). This assumption should already be obvious before debates. Do not bring this up as a way to distract from a debate/argument as it should already be known.

^^^I’ve seen this happen a lot. How it usually goes down:

P1/P2/P3: (discussing something experimental/controversial, but enlightening nonetheless)

A4: “but we should remember all paths are valid!!!”

A5: “yeah, all paths are valid! We can’t judge anyone, you guys should stop trying to compare different working methods”

A4/A5: (begin complaining about how someone found them invalid)

(the conversation P1/P2/P3 had never continued)  

Learning/Asking Questions

-If someone is asking a legitimate question, if you’re going to joke/reply sarcastically, follow up with what you actually know or do not reply in the first place.

-Remain respectful when asking questions. Do not try to force someone to answer a question, especially if it is a personal question/on a topic that makes them uncomfortable.

-You are not obligated to answer questions that delve into territory that is uncomfortable/too personal. If a question is something you do not want answered, just politely say so.

-If a reading/experiment is going on in another channel, please do not interrupt the reading to ask for context that you could easily scroll up for, or attempt to make casual conversation in the middle of others’ experiments. Save your questions/comments for after the reading and/or comment in a different channel.

Server Structure

-We are not super strict on staying on topic, but please attempt to do so and switch channels if necessary.

-Channels (#list resource channels here…)  are resource channels, meaning that they are for very specific purposes. Discussion on things posted should take place in OTHER channels.  Sometimes we forget, that is understandable- but note that comments will be deleted after a time by an admin or mod.

-List of channels and explanation of each channel:

#channel name…….explanation….. (obvs fill this part in)

Writing New Rules/Writing Your Own Rules:

  • Group rules by type rather than number them. Please trust me on this one, it really helps for organization (plus there’s a 2000 character limit so you cannot have all rules in one post anyways.)
  • YES HAVE THE RULES IN AN ACTUAL RULES CHANNEL AND NOT TO AN EXTERNAL LINK (like linking to a google doc rather than writing the rules directly into the server).

Admin Skills/Requirements:

  • Structure/Organization: Poor organization will defeat your learning server very quickly.
  • Ability to read people and social context: THIS IS HOW YOU BOTH PREVENT AND FIX DRAMA!!
  • Guts: You’re going to have to kick people. You’re going to have to ban people. You’re going to argue, deal with gross people, etc. Some people won’t like it. Some people won’t like YOU because of it.

You Shouldn’t Be An Admin If You:

  • Lack most of above AND cannot find someone else who can do what you cannot 
  • Are conflict avoidant: if conflicts or issues give you anxiety/stress to a debilitating level, do not fucking admin. They WILL happen and if you cannot handle it, you should not admin.
  • Lack social skills/are not personable: Admin openness sets the tone for a chat.
  • Are easily offended: Self explanatory.
  • Hate being questioned: People WILL question your rules/authority occasionally. If you just throw a hissy fit or get passive aggressive when it happens, nobody will respect you, which will result in even more questioning; it becomes a vicious cycle.
  • Lack critical thinking: self explanatory

Picking Other Mods/Admins:

  • Of course, they should have the qualities listed in “Admin Skills/Requirements”
  • Have different strengths; get admins that can do things you can’t.
  • Pick people who think different from you; they’ll approach problems in other ways and thus you’ll be able to see many ways to solve a problem.

Things to be careful/wary and thus prepared about:

Admins/mods bringing in close friends/significant others/etc: Have you ever had an issue where your best friend/significant other in one friend group and your best friend group in another friend group disliked each other? Even if you haven’t, think about all the ways this could turn ugly. Exercise caution.

Be strict about keeping salt/vent posts to one channel: One thing I’ve seen happen is that if there’s already a conversation going in the salt/vent channel, people suddenly think that it’s alright to start venting in another channel. This interrupts learning/relevant conversations in that channel. If it’s not relevant to the channel (a not-spirit work complaint going in a spirit work channel) the salt/vent should not go there. 

Judgement/Discernment: Let’s make an example. Relevant to the previous point, someone is complaining about a problematic spirit in the spirit work channel. Would this fit your server or not? Now for another example. The vent channel is busy right now, so someone goes to the spirit work channel to complain about their human boyfriend. Would this fit your server?

Enforcing Rules/Kicking/Banning People:

Someone doesn’t have to be a Bad Person for you to kick them. Personality conflicts are a perfectly good reason; and often personality conflicts will lead to more drama than being a Bad Person. While it is possible to work it out with them, often reaching that point of needing to find a workaround already shows that there is an issue. If unresolved, more likely one/both/all of the people with clashing personalities will leave. It’s also important to respect that people shouldn’t have to budge. But hell, sometimes people dislike each other for pure miscommunication reasons; they may grow to truly like each other but be prepared as that’s usually the exception and not the rule.

It’s generally better to PM an iffy person and tell them in private to knock their shitty behavior off rather than embarrass/make an example of them in front of everyone. People are often more willing to coalesce in PMs where they can be personal/private, rather than in public where they must worry about everyone ganging up on them.

Typical, Example Issues You Should Be Ready to Deal With:

Note: This is not like a school test where there are solid right answers. Issues will always be contextual; these are simply some common examples so you’ll know how vague the “right answer” can be. 

-Someone new enters the chat and it’s clear that everyone is uncomfortable around them due to their personalities. But nobody wants to say anything because they want to be nice. How do you resolve this issue? Do you kick/ban the discomforting newbie? Do you PM the newbie one-on-one?

-You invite your best friend/significant other to the chat. However, quite a few people don’t get along with them. It’s reached the point where a number of members want them to leave or will leave themselves. What do you do?

-This person has been in a while, and many people have noticed that they are…rather noticeably immature. You check their blog. You find out they’re a minor. Do you kick them immediately? Do you make sanctions based on their behavior?

-This person has been in a while, and many people have noticed that they are…rather noticeably immature. You check their blog/intro, and find out they’re 30+ and act this way despite their age. They’re older than you. Immediate kick? Do you try to talk to them?

-Your server was previously a flourishing place where conversations could be taken to extreme depth; discussions with many viewpoints and clashing opinions were common, but everyone had the maturity to not take disagreement as a personal offense and this allowed everyone to learn the best. However, ever since some new people entered the server, these discussions have stopped because disagreement/clashing viewpoints offends them. Do you kick these new people? Do you say they can stay, but they have to suck it up (especially since they are adults)?

-Someone is talking about how they had a bad experience with a deity/goetic demon/other Large Spirit, and clearly needs advice/help. Instead, a devotee of that Large Spirit swoops in claiming any/all of the following: “UMMM Large Spirit NEVER does anything wrong!! You’re a terrible person for saying that!”, “It’s impossible for Large Spirit to abuse humans, so you must be imagining things!”, “Large Spirit only does things in someone’s highest good, so you must have done something horrible, meaning you deserved it!” What do you say in response? Do you tell them publicly, or do you PM them? 

-Someone is suggesting that a magical issue correlates with a mental/emotional illness, with no reasoning other than “I believe in this so it must be!!!” Additionally, it’s very clear that they’ve never had any formal education in psychology or at least read legitimate sources (not tumblr posts) on mental/emotional illness issues. Other people are agreeing with them. Do you school them all? Kick em all?

-Drama happened in the server, and it leaked to someone outside of the server who then confronts the person on their blog. Every shred of evidence points to one person leaking the drama, but when you PM that person about it they claim it wasn’t them. Do you kick the person anyways? Do you keep em but maintain a close watch on them?

Variations on the above one: 

  • Many people believe it was that one person who leaked it as well.
  • Most people don’t think it was them, but evidence points otherwise. Additionally, that one person is extremely popular and you think people would like you a lot less if you kicked them.
  • Nobody is able to pinpoint someone; rather, people believe it is one of the many lurkers of the server. However, that’s still quite a few people, and many of them are your friends who haven’t been actively lately and never gave a reason. 

-People have been coming to you in PMs that they believe one of the admins is abusing their power. You agree; you notice they tend to step on others in conversations, use their admin tools to set demeaning roles to people, and other gross things. You decide to PM that admin about it; what will you say? Should you have a kind or firm tone?

  • Variation: Some brave souls come to you in PMs saying that you have been abusing your power! Are they wrong? What do you do to the people who say so?

Obviously, the issues are not limited to this list.


As with all of my posts, this will be updated occasionally as I get better info/advice. Always check the permalink for the most recent version. 

Current Version: September 26 2017

Spideychelle Headcanon: In Which MJ Becomes a Tough Love Team Mom to the AcDec team

  • MJ can’t be as nurturing and loving as Liz bc she doesn’t have that kind of energy or warmth for anybody but Peter
  • Not that he knows it yet
  • Flash, she has little patience for, but works with him so he’ll have patience. She doesn’t hesitate to order him to shut up but she treats him with respect when he focuses and makes sure to congratulate him bc he seems to crave validation.
  • Ned is brilliant and really applies himself, but MJ just makes sure that he’s always applying himself and that he never stops bc he can get distracted
  • Cindy and Betty seem to love working as a team as much as Ned and Peter, so MJ makes sure to work on them to make sure they can operate in settings and scenarios where they can’t rely on each other
  • Sally, MJ kinda tiptoes around since she still wants to keep a respectful distance since she asked her out a few months back. But Sally is still sweet and dependable, MJ makes sure that she knows that she values her friendship and loyalty. And eventually MJ is helping Sally pick out a bikini to wear to an upcoming pool party date with her new girlfriend. And MJ loves that their friendship made it through what could’ve been a disastrous end and Sally loves it too
  • Abraham, MJ finds, is a fast, cheerful dude who is key to group morale. He’s so constantly happy and whimsical he even makes MJ laugh. MJ is sure to tell him this but also tells him that if he ever needs to take a breather to let her know and she’ll support him. Bc she doesn’t want to pressure him too much. She also begins searching for any signs bc she notices the way Flash looks at Abe and it just makes her ponder
  • Then there’s the boy she’s head over heels in love with
  • Peter Parker
  • Sigh
  • He’s so sweet and genuine and freaking brilliant when he actually shows up
  • When they win nationals second year in a row, MJ can’t stop herself from grabbing Peter’s cheeks and kissing the fuck out of him
  • And the whole team stops, and then cheers, wolf-whistling and even Flash is happy for them despite his own longing for Peter
  • The Midtown High AcDec team is a well oiled killing machine
  • And it runs on the love and effort from their tough AF captain
  • Only that captain now has a First Gentleman by her side

Throwing a special deal for commissions this week only because I want to celebrate LUV 

I will draw:

  • Your otp being cute, kissing (lips, cheeks, forehead…etc), hugging, looking at each other… whatever you want!
  • Couples of friends being nice to each other
  • Siblings or family members expressing love 
  • Fanart or original characters!

I will NOT draw:

  • Incest 
  • Non-consensual or abusive relationships (that are depicted that way in canon)

I can send you a print if you wish me to, but I’ll charge the shipping as an extra for the commission’s price - I accept paypal only. 

Send me an ask or write to emedeme.art@gmail.com if interested. Reblogs and spreading the word are very appreciated!!!

  1. xenadd
  2. ohlookashinysquirrel
  3. (taken)
  4. (taken)

EDIT: Sorry, all the spots have been taken! I’ll open more as I finish the current commissions, but write me if you’re interested in one and I’ll put yours in the queue!

EDIT2: Due to the huge and unexpected demand this is having, I’ll take and put on the list all the commissions requests I get if you message me. This means it will take me a bit longer to get to yours, but if you write me this week before Sunday 12 PM (GMT +1) you’ll get the special Valentine’s Day deal and you’ll be added to the queue. So if you want a cute picture of your OTP you still have time!

anonymous asked:

How does the egos act when they are sugar high? (Like, eating too many sugar)

Wilford–he’s always on a sugar high

Silver–ever heard the phrase “bouncing off the walls”? Yeah, he gives it new meaning

Doc–bobs his leg violently underneath the table until Dark finally starts screaming

Host–starts narrating a bunch of nonsense and giggling uncontrollably

Google(s)–turn all the household appliances into sentient robots that terrorize the others

Ed–runs down the halls screaming with sparklers in each hand and streamers attached to his back

Bim–is already a really excited person, so he goes into this next level of excitement about literally everything “LOOK AT THIS PIECE OF LINT! IT’S SO CUTE!”

Dark–goes into this really weird zen mode, the Egos can get away with anything when he’s had too much sugar

Little Brother!Jeno
  • sssssssssuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuppppppppppppppp
  • how are y’all doing? :’)
  • i’m excited for writing this, lately i have been SO soft for jeno and ugh i love him
  • please love him a lot too, he truly deserves it
  • also, he’s actually a year older than me so,, this is quite weird for me lmao
  • but let’s just start with this!!
  • okay so, let me tell you that you guys have the sweetest and healthiest sibling relationship ever existed
  • your parents are so deadly proud of what they created bc :’)
  • “we did that, we created the purest sibling relationship ever”
  • lmao
  • tbh, you two make evEryone jealous bc of how healthy and perfect your relationship is and you get comments about it 24/7
  • “you two are so weird and peceful, my brother and me are always fighting”
  • “d-did you guys just hug? woah, my brother would never hug me, not even if it’s obligated by my mom”
  • “jeno gave you his sweater bc it was cold??? whAT, HOW CAN YOU TWO GET ALONG SO WELL, THIS IS NOT NORMAL”
  • i guess you’re just really lucky to have him as your bro bc jeno would be SO caring and sweet with you
  • even if he’s the little one, he gets so protective over you and it’s the cutest thing ever
  • oh, that bitch gave you an ugly look?? she dead
  • that guy is trying something with you without his approval first?? oVER HIS DEAD BODY
  • but you can’t complain bc you’re like even more protective with him without even realizing it
  • literally, you only noticed how protective you were when johnny randomly pointed it out
  • “y/n, can you calm down a little? jeno is a professional, i swear i have never seen him falling from that hoverboard, not even once”
  • “y/n, you don’t have to be so protective”
  • and you literally spaced out at his comment bc you haven been like this the sixteen years of life that you brother has but u didn’t know it because nEVeR ever complained about it
  • btw, did you guys listened to got7′s never ever? i’m obssesed, it’s so good
  • actually, he kinda love it when you randomly appear on his practice bc he forgot something or left home without eating and you literally buy food for the whole group
  • and he’s looking at you proudly like :^) yeah, thas right, that’s my sis :^) while the other members worship you for being so nice and cool
  • and if he ever sees you sad or crying his heart would broke in a million of pieces
  • he would literally be on the verge of tears as he hugs you and tries to comfort you with his words
  • and even if he would joke about it some years after, the memory would still hurt his heart
  • “do you remember that christmas day when you cried? woah, you look really ugly when you cry”
  • “you wERe CrYinG tOo!!”
  • “liEeSsSss”
    and it first he was quite awkward when it came to comfort you, but eventually he learned from you
  • like, he still remembers times when he was even younger and twice as smol and he was a problematic baby
  • he remembers perfectly that whenever he got in problems you would ALWAYS defend him and take all the blame
  • and that afterwards you would sit him on bed and distract him by reading a book or acting in a silly way to make him laugh
  • he treasures each one of those memories with his life and decided to start doing the same, telling you his terrible jokes or tickling you to make you laugh
  • this is way too sweet, my poor heart :’)
  • he would be a really chill brother when you two are in home tho
  • like, yeah, he would want to spend his free time with you and annoy you a bit bc that’s really fun
  • but he would annoy you in a really low-key and innocent way like obligating you to watch anime with him or not letting you decided which video game to play
  • he know you don’t mind anyways so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
  • also, in the end he always ends up doing whatever you say
  • you also love to bother him but maybe by not giving him attention or giving other member even more attention
  • “chenle, you’re so cute, yo’re like the younegr brother that i never had!11!1!!<3″
  • “donghyuck, i heard that you lost your favorite cap the other day so me and kun went in a little mall date and bought you a new one!”
  • and he’s like ( ಠ_ಠ ) the whole damn time until you can’t hel it but laugh and hug him bc he’S SO CUTE
  • even if he wouldn’t be truly angry, he would act like if he was offended and the only thing that would amke him feel better is when you  do a bunch of things together outside
  • like, to get an ice cream or maybe going to an arcade or smth cool like that
  • jeno would get so excited that wouldn’t help but start being really energetic and talkative and he completely forgets about that he’s supposed to act angry
  • and it’s SO cute
  • and you’re normal at first but after seeig how much fun he’s having while running around and being silly you kinda,,, join him after a while
  • so there you have two losers acting like weirdos and laughing like crazy in the middle of the street
  • but y’all don’t care bc you two have each other and that’s the only thing that truly matters <3
  • basically, you two would have a pERFECT relationship
  • you two would always give each other support and love and would constantly be taking care of the other
  • sibling goals :’)
  • okay the end, lol
  • i got quite soft writing this, i kinda miss my brother now ugh
  • but anyways, i hope you enjoy this! <3
  • byeee~
Reflexives & Pronomial Verbs

But since I didn’t really explain it, reflexive verbs need their reflexive pronouns to be understood as reflexives.

It’s especially necessary when you have verbs that mean different things without the reflexives.

Like poner is “to put”, but ponerse can be “to put on” like ponerse ropa is “to put on clothes”

If you said pon/ponga/pongan ropa it could be interpreted as you’re telling someone to put clothes somewhere; like pon la ropa en el armario “put the clothes in the closet”… it’s different from something like ponte el abrigo “put on the coat”

But the use of the pronomial [reflexive pronoun] when dealing with reflexives serves a grammatical function.

When you’re dealing with dativo ético there’s no grammatical reason to have the me, te, se, nos, os used… but it is useful for semantics [what things mean], which is why you’d see comerse used as a “reflexive” command

*Note: As a true reflexive, comerse means “to eat oneself / to consume oneself” or “to eat away at”

Linguistically speaking, reflexives are reflexive when the subject and the object are the same; you can “put clothes (somewhere)” or you can “put clothes (on oneself)”… since the person “putting the clothes on” is the subject and also the person receiving the action of having the clothes put on [the object], that makes it reflexive

But in a true linguistic sense comerse as “to eat” or “to eat up” is not a true reflexive; in te comes una pizza “you eat a pizza”, the “pizza” is understood as the object, but the subject is different.

Pronomial verbs consist of: 

1. reflexives 

afeitar = to shave
afeitarse = to shave oneself

pintar = to paint
pintarse = to put on makeup

decir = to say
decirse = to talk to oneself

despertar = to wake / to awaken (someone else)
despertarse = to wake up (oneself / on one’s own)

lavar = to wash
lavarse = to wash oneself [lavarse el cabello “to wash one’s hair”, lavarse las manos “to wash one’s hands” etc.]

2. reciprocal reflexives [two or more subjects doing something to each other]

enamorarse de alguien = to fall in love with someone [reflexive or reciprocal]
se enamora = he/she falls in love
se enamoran = they fall in love [two separate people OR as reciprocal, “they fall in love with each other”]

casarse = to get married
se casa = he/she is getting married
se casan = they’re getting married [potentially to each other]

conocer a alguien = to know someone
conocerse = “to know oneself” [as a true reflexive]
se conocen = they know each other
se conocieron = they met each other
se conocían = they used to know each other

3. dativo ético

and you see it a lot with things like comerse, imaginarse, caerse, creerse, saberse, dormirse, and morirse… where the meaning is more about how you’re supposed to interpret it, and less about what it literally means

*Note: se is also used for passive voice, impersonal, and sometimes when you have to do indirect + direct objects; it’s a very versatile particle in Spanish

garnidot is valid: the monologue

someone responded to my post about gems flirting peri, saying that garnet doesnt flirt bc she isnt interested in a relationship. i tried to reply but it became like this essay so thought it would make a good post on its own

(ive talked about this before here) garnidot in particular seems validated by evidence in the show (plenty of canon garnidot pics below)

first things first:

>a person can flirt without the intention of entering a romantic relationship. flirting can be fun and mutual and encompasses varying level of connectedness

Keep reading

***Please don’t delete the text post***

Introducing you my first ever faves! So on this month aka my birth month, me (volcture) now decided to make a list of my faves blog. I would really appreciate if you guys will join my first faves list because I just really love you guys so much :) x


  • Must be following me (volcture)
  • Reblogs only, likes only for bookmarking


  • Have a spot on my faves list
  • You can ask me for promo (twice a week)
  • I will queue a bunch from you
  • A new bestie aka me (I’m dying to have so many friends here because you guys are just so lovely)
  • A follow from me (if I haven’t already)

H I G H E R  C H A N C E S

  • Be active
  • Have a similar blog as mine
  • Talk to me! (I really love to get to know new people)
  • Reblog this more than once so I’ll notice you more
  • Be a really good person to others


  • Banner was made by me on polyvore (follow me on polyvore: ughtara if you want)
  • Choosing whenever I’m happy with the notes
  • Ask me any questions if you’re confused
  • If this flops pretend it never happens

Good luck and I love you all! xx

anonymous asked:

Hi! Do you have any fics where Sam just can't deal with Stucky's shit anymore? Poor Sam Wilson deserves better than having to deal with two lovesick idiots all the time doesn't he?

My dear Sam goes through so much white boy bullshit with these two and this fandom I stg. Heres my faves where Sam is Done™ with James Barnes and Steve Rogers.

Ain’t No Grave (Can Keep My Body Down) by spitandvinegar

It’s six in the morning, and Steve is heading out on a run when he nearly trips over a bouquet of sunflowers on the front steps of his brownstone.

For a second paranoia takes over, and he kicks the flowers a little, waiting for them to explode. They don’t. They also came with a card, which he picks up. The front of the card has a tasteful picture of the Brooklyn bridge at sunset. It’s very nice and sedate, like the kind of card you would buy to give to your boss. On the inside someone has written a short message in big, shaky block letters.


Steve sits down hard on the steps.

Let Your Backbone Flip by hansbekhart

He’d been back from Afghanistan about two months when the Battle of New York happened. He had heard about Captain America getting pulled out of the ice a week or so before, of course - it had been all over the internet, in all the papers. Sam hadn’t really cared, at the time. Too wrapped up in trying to sleep through the night, surrounded by people who loved him but didn’t get it. Those were angry days where every hour was a challenge not to scream at his own family for all their petty, safe, day to day living, and Sam had felt pretty much the same about Captain America’s revival as he did hearing about the Chitauri invasion, which was basically that he could give a fuck.

sam deserves better than these assholes-series  by lazulisong 


Sing Me the Alphabet by thesardine

When SHIELD finally releases Bucky from custody, he is not the man anyone expects him to be. The ruthlessness of the Winter Soldier is gone, replaced with a child-like wariness as he struggles to communicate his warped understanding of who he is and what was done to him. But with Hydra scrambling to regroup, SHIELD takes dangerous measures to secure Zola’s algorithm to use against them, and Steve is dragged back into battle, forced to weigh what’s best for Bucky against what’s best for the fate of the free world.

Then Bucky is abducted.

Steve races to recover his friend before the man who was Bucky is gone forever. When the rescue stalls, he starts to crumble under the weight of everything he has lost and everything the war has taken from him.

Meanwhile, Bucky confronts a terrible piece of ex-SHIELD tech that was in development long before Project Insight, but in order to survive, he must decide who he is going to be: the vulnerable Bucky Barnes or the indomitable Winter Soldier? It turns out there might not be as big a difference as everyone seems to think.

i rarely ever make posts like this but i saw that female safety > male feelings post twice on dash this morning and although it’s a good message by itself, the original poster had something entirely different in mind.

it was written in response to transwomen using womens bathrooms and is straight up accusing transwomen as being men who go into womens bathrooms to inflict harm on others

ive already blocked the post so i’ll never see it again and i encourage others to do the same