Here’s the truth: friendships between women are often the deepest and most profound love stories, but they are often discussed as if they are ancillary, “bonus” relationships to the truly important ones. Women’s friendships outlast jobs, parents, husbands, boyfriends, lovers, and sometimes children.
Sakata Gintoki: He’s a shounen protagonist. If you fight him, you’re probably gonna lose. Whether or not he kills you depends on how he feels about you, how despicable a person you are, and whether or not you hurt one of his friends. What the heck; fight Gintoki.
Kagura: Kagura is a Yato. She took down the Yato vice commander of her Yato brother. At the age of 14. Do not fight Kagura.
Shimura Shinpachi: Fight Shinpachi, but be prepared to get a limb or two lopped off.
Sarutobi Ayame: You’ll be dead before the fight even started. Do not fight Sacchan.
Hijikata Toshirou: He’s a seasoned fighter, but you could throw him off with a bottle of mayo. Fight Hijikata.
Okita Sougo: No. Just no. Sougo is a self-proclaimed sadist and supposedly the best swordsman in the Shinsengumi. Don’t fight Sougo.
Takasugi Shinsuke: This guy was neck and neck with Gintoki in their battle. Also, he’s a lot less likely to spare your life. Fight him if you wanna wipe that smirk off his face, but it would be smart not to.
Katsura Kotarou: Really? You want to fight Zura? He single-handedly defeated a giant ripped alien monkey. Kondo even said that Zura was the only person who had the capacity to kill him (that’s right, folks; even Sougo and Gintoki didn’t make the cut). You do the maths.
Sakamoto Tatsuma: First of all, why the fuck would you want to fight Sakamoto? If you fight Sakamoto, I will fucking wreck you, if Gintoki doesn’t do it first. Do not fight Sakamoto.