other values

Reasons why Keith is Best Boy™

  • he loves his space family
  • he’s a sensitive, emotional boy, and even though he’s impulsive and stubborn, everything he does is for others and it comes from the heart
  • he doesn’t want to show his weaknesses to others because he values his privacy, but is always there for his friends whenever they need help
  • would give his life to save someone
  • incredibly selfless
  • he’s very strong in battle, he can slash right through a rifle and his movements are so quick and agile
  • strong in general, he carried a galra that was twice his size!
  • he has found a place where he belongs and calls it home because there’s people he cares so much about there
  • he never gives up
  • he wants to get closer to people, but doesn’t know how and it really bothers him
  • he’s saved many lives
  • he picked the safety of others over finding out about his own past
  • he loves and cares for his big brother very much
  • he’s trying his best and learning from his mistakes
  • always protects Lance
  • doesn’t want to waste time and wants to put an end to all bad things as soon as possible
  • he misses his team more than anything and wants to come back
  • he never gives up on anyone or anything
  • he wants everyone in the universe to be happy and get their families back

you’re welcome to add on

jamesstarlopez  asked:

Where is a good start to finding out your type, would you recommend taking a test then reading about the type you got or what are similar to that type. Should you start with functions first or start off understanding each function? The main question, how do you understand each function and how can it contribute to you in the real world?

If you’ve already taken the test, yes, read up on that type. If it fits, stop looking. If it doesn’t, read up on the similar types to see if one of them resonates better. Over-thinking is something you do not want to do, it only adds confusion.

Also, acknowledge that type is not going to explain everything you do / think / believe / want out of life, so don’t bother wondering if, “If I don’t do ____, does that mean I’m not a ____?” No, it doesn’t. Brain function, not behavior.

If you’re a total newbie, start with broad generalizations of types and then start learning about the functions. Too much function stuff at the start, especially if it’s not explained well / is too vague / generalizing will only confuse you.

Once you figure out which functions you use, you will ‘understand’ them. If you’re honest with yourself, you should be able to figure out fairly soon which functions are prominent because they are automatic and ‘drive’ you. But it takes the right cognitive function description to make you say YES, YES!! Once you know what a function does, and realize you have it, you’ll start noticing what it’s doing in your stack. (For example: ESFP. Te: “Oh, THAT’s why I feel such a desire to have something to show for my time… and why I set myself deadlines and goals even though I struggle to make them… and why I get frustrated when people want to just discuss and not SOLVE THE PROBLEM!”)

Once you know ‘em, you can start to ‘work on ‘em.’ You can find out: this is how healthy Se looks. Do I have healthy Se? Nope. Okay, so then I start doing THIS with it, instead of THAT, to make it healthier.

IE:

Healthy…

Se/Ni: opportunistic and good at pushing self / others to try new things in pursuit of a singular desired future (vs: unhealthy: reckless, never finishes anything, only thinks about today).

Ni/Se: uses futuristic impressions and insights to guide oneself toward having the motivation to make their dreams real and learns to ‘check’ impressions with evidence (vs: unhealthy: lives in fantasies and idealism with no motivation to move forward / make anything happen and/or avoids forward motion).

Ne/Si: maintains an optimistic attitude toward the future with confidence they can change direction mid-stream in pursuit of new, better ideas as they present themselves (vs: unhealthy: pessimistic, scattered, and reluctant to try new things or finish anything).

Si/Ne: meticulously collects detailed information to construct bigger, better ideas and see them through with a positive outlook toward change (vs: unhealthy: rigid refusal to try new things and/or adapt as the world shifts forward, holds on to old resentments and bad habits, and dismisses anything abstract as ‘too weird’).

Fe/Ti: makes objective judgments based on sound reasoning and uses people skills to bond others in a common goal to finish projects and accomplish tasks, while feeling comfortable sharing their emotions and resolving conflict (vs: unhealthy: manipulation of others and/or excessively judgmental attitudes, bullying behavior and venting without caring whether others are comfortable with your feelings or not).

Ti/Fe: seeks logical consistency and precision in self-expression, in order to explain their perspective so that it can benefit or educate others, with the desire of overall social betterment (vs: unhealthy: relentless criticism of everyone and everything, needless nitpicking and corrections, sometimes aimed at making others feel stupid or inferior).

Te/Fi: makes factual assessments and can organize the external world and oneself to accomplish personal goals or to achieve desired tangible results (emphasis on ‘doing’ rather than ‘analyzing’) that align with one’s deeper values and interests in life (vs: unhealthy: aggressive controlling techniques and/or steamrolling over others to accomplish tasks, using factual knowledge to shame or intimidate, and seeking success at the cost of personal relationships).

Fi/Te: allows their sense of fairness and deeply held beliefs to guide them as they make tangible plans to achieve literal results and make their desires a reality while respecting others’ independence / right to be themselves (vs: unhealthy: doing or saying whatever they want, regardless of how hurtful it can be to others, having rigid, intolerant moral judgments / refusing to associate with others with different values, and no ability to follow through on getting what they want from life).

- ENFP Mod

  • What She Says: I'm Fine.
  • What She Means: Barney and Robin were the most awesome god damn couple ever and they should not have broken apart just because of a simple travel issue. I find it hurtful that the writers would literally spend an entire season focused on these two's wedding and then within the first 10 minutes of the episode directly following the ceremony have them break up (while also breaking hearts) just so that they can put Robin with a half-fast reunitement of Robin and Ted despite Ted already being with the most perfect human being ever. So what do they do? They kill her off, just so they can put these two characters who have had no success in romantic relationships with each other. So not only do they destroy one adorable and beloved couple but two. Yes, I am still bitter over this.
small descriptions: sun, moon, & ascendant

Aries

sun - independent and courageous, enjoy leading others and bringing excitement into the lives of others, enthusiastic, very goal-oriented.

moon - incredibly persevering, brilliant sense of humor, modest about achievements (unless they also have aries sun), need to express yourself

rising - individualistic and impatient, quick-tempered, blush easily, outspoken with opinions, likes to get things done quickly

Taurus

sun - fight for what they want, easy going but stubborn, good work ethic, very loyal, strong love for home, practical, choosy about who they befriend

moon - inner wisdom, dislike unpredictability, value honesty, prefer familiarity, gentle and warm, serene quality that calms those around them, set in their ways

rising - great self-reliance, inclined to frequent stubbornness and jealousness, strongly persistent nature

Gemini

sun - very talkative, known for their sociability, go with the flow attitude, ability to think clearly, charming, wide range of interests, driven by curiosity

moon - clear and sharp mind, remarkable communication skills, confident speakers, tendency to over think

rising - quick witted, constantly alert, curious mind, strong desire to acquire knowledge, great need to communicate with others

Cancer

sun - enjoy security while also seeking adventure, unpredictable nature, love to nurture others, value a sense of security, homebodies, kind and warm

moon - need to see the difference they make in other people’s lives, not likely to show their emotional nature to others, very intuitive, supportive friend

rising - sympathetic, very talkative, fond of home, extremely sensitive to criticism, may like to collect things

Leo

sun - high self esteem, very devoted, kind and generous, hot tempered yet forgiving, most comfortable when in charge, independent, idealistic

moon - undeniable energy, charming and intelligent, like to take risks, optimistic outlook on life, amazing wit

rising - strong character, normally good natured and generous, demonstrative, energetic, need to be the center of attention, regal disposition, good humored

Virgo

sun - mind oriented, constantly analyzing and thinking, enjoy bettering themselves, down to earth and practical, selective with friendships

moon - often anxious, intuitive, very critical, high expectations of themselves, detail oriented and a dedicated planner

rising - worriers, tactful and somewhat high strung, strong desire for money, inclined to “tell it like it is”, modest due to self-criticism

Libra

sun - diplomatic nature, very expensive taste, get along well with everyone, quite ambitious, strive to maintain peace in their daily lives

moon - find beauty in simplicity, always seeking balance, they love a challenge and enjoy debates, like to have their way, unpredictable mood

rising - love parties, believe in justice for all, courteous and agreeable, tendency to meddle too much in other’s affairs

Scorpio

sun - very intense, like to question everything, treat others with kindness and loyalty, self reliant and in control, tendency to be a bit obsessive

moon - intense emotions, protective of themselves, loving heart, strong presence, need for control, very passionate, can be intimidating

rising - mysterious, intimidating, may come off as aloof or brooding, powerful, strong presence

Sagittarius

sun - optimistic, adventurous, sees life as a journey, loves to travel, needs variety in life, independent and honest, fast-thinkers, strong willed

moon - happy-go-lucky attitude, competitive, adaptable, likes to leave an impression on others, impulsive and enthusiastic

rising - loves to be active, very opinionated, bores easily with routine, cheerful presence, curious, appears confident, needs independence

Capricorn

sun - practical and persistent, self-confident, profound thinkers, their seriousness may make them seem unhappy, can concentrate very well

moon - needs to feel useful and productive, does not like dealing with emotions, very hard on themselves, hides sensitivity with sarcasm

rising - takes everything seriously, very conscious of the image they project, chooses to be around others who make them look good, calm demeanor 

Aquarius

sun - free-spirited and eccentric, charming, keeps to themselves and doesn’t express their problems, detached view of life, social, independent and original

moon - very observant, have always felt “different”, emotionally detached, kind and compassionate, strong ego, outgoing introverts, friendly and optimistic

rising - unique, loves to express their individuality, quiet and irreverent sense of humor, curious, likable and friendly, appears aloof while also coming off as kind

Pisces

sun - emotional and instinctual, easily discouraged, generous with friends, homebodies, accepts people for who they are, may feel unappreciated

moon - silly sense of humor, sweet and soft hearted, genuinely cares about others, creative, easily amused, tries to avoid the dull parts of life

rising - charming and intriguing, very impressionable, dislikes confrontation, is seen as genuine and gentle, dislikes attention

keith left to go to the blade of marmora not because he was selfish or because he wanted to abandon team voltron

he left because he knew being the black paladin was not where he fit. it wasn’t his strongest position and not where he was needed. and he knew they needed lance and allura as paladins, knew that they belonged where they were

he left because he knew he could do more good for the cause in the blade of marmora. he would be stronger there, have a better grasp on what he was doing

he left because he is selfless. he left because he knew voltron didn’t need him anymore

he left because he feels like he no longer belongs there

he left because he pushes people away out of fear of rejection and abandonment

he left for the good of the universe, because he wanted to do more, be more, do something he knew he’d be good at and put those skills to use

he left because he values others’ lives over his own (he almost kills himself willingly because he values others’ lives over his own)

if anyone tries to tell me keith is selfish or mean for leaving team voltron, i’ll probably explode

keith left team voltron for a number of reasons, not one of them selfish

and most of all, keith left because he is in pain, and he doesn’t understand quite how to deal with it

8

‘If the prospect of living in a world where trying to respect the basic rights of those around you and valuing each other simply because we exist are such daunting, impossible tasks that only a superhero born of royalty can address them, then what sort of world are we left with? And what sort of world do you want to live in?’ 

 WONDER WOMAN (vol. 2) #170  

anonymous asked:

Hey, you're awesome, thanks for existing, basically ^_^ Anyway, I wanted to know if you have any tips on how to write different personalities? My characters (all of them) always end up with the same default personality that I fall back on. Thanks!

Thanks for your question, darling!  I think most of us have struggled with this – after all, we’re conditioned to one way of thinking, feeling, and acting for as long as we live.  That doesn’t necessarily mean we write characters like ourselves, though.  In fact, many of us have a “default character” that’s sassier than we are, sweeter than we are, or in some way different enough from us that we still feel like we’re writing a character.

The problem, then, isn’t that we can’t visualize a different personality than ours.  On the whole, we can.  What we’re missing are the small details that make it feel whole – otherwise, it’s like painting the same room six different colors and trying to pass it off as six different rooms.  Different dominant traits can’t hide the fact that you’re working with one template!

So the question we’re left with: what are the traits we’re missing?  And how can we change them to create a unique and whole personality?


Three Types of Character Traits

There are, as the title suggests, three major categories of personality traits as I see it: fundamental traits, acquired traits, and detrimental traits.  A well-rounded character needs some of each to be three-dimensional and realistic.

Fundamental Traits

The fundamental traits of a person’s character are not as simple as interests and preferences; they are the very base of all decisions and desires.  They are either learned in early life or developed over a long period of time, rooting deeply into the personality.  A few examples of fundamental personality traits include:

  • Upbringing – The word choice here is conscious, as upbringing encompasses many different aspects of a person’s development.  Consider who raised them, and with what morals and practices they were raised to adulthood.  Consider their influences, both familial, social, and in media; consider the relationships that were normalized during their development, as well as the living conditions (financially, emotionally, environmentally, etc.).  The people, places, emotions, and conflicts made common during a person’s developmental period are essential to their personality in adulthood.  This is why psychologists often draw present-day problems back to a person’s childhood memories – because those formative years can subconsciously dictate so much of a person’s future!
  • Values – These may not coincide with the values a person is raised to hold, but upbringing certainly has an influence on this. A person’s values will direct the course of their life through every decision, large and small.  You don’t need to outline everything your character believes is important – every moral and every law they agree/disagree with. But those values which stand above others will give your character purpose.  A few of my favorite examples are: Jane from Jane the Virgin (whose initial storyline is heavily based on her religion and desire for a beautiful love story, as well as her childhood influences who inspired these values) and Han Solo from Star Wars (whose character development rested upon his values shifting from money and gratification to more honorable things).
  • Beliefs – Different from values, beliefs are a more general set of guidelines for how a person believes things are supposed to be.  Beliefs can also be a source of great conflict, as a character tries to stay aligned with their beliefs despite other values or desires.  These beliefs can be established systems, like religion or politics; they can also include more personal belief systems, like nihilism or veganism.  A characters beliefs, like their values, can change over the course of the story – but even if a character is questioning one system of belief, like religion or pacifism, they should have other belief systems in place to govern some of their activity.
  • Reputation – A lot of human activity, whether consciously or not, is dictated by how others perceive them (or how they believe others perceive them).  There are two types of reputation: personal and passing.  For instance, a woman named Sally who gains a personal reputation of sleeping around will behave in reaction to this reputation – either sleeping around because everyone already expects it of her, or specifically not hooking up because she wants to shake this reputation, or developing a thicker skin to deal with the rumors until it passes.  A man named Billy who, because of his tattoos, bears a passing reputation as an intimidating man will either try to soften his demeanor with strangers, own up to the image, or at least learn to expect judgment from strangers as a consequence.
  • Self-Image – Also relevant to a person’s behavior is the way they perceive themselves, which can often have little to do with their reputation.  A lot of self-image is based on definitive moments or phases in the past.  For instance: for several years after I started wearing contacts and cutting my hair, I still saw myself, in dreams at night, with long hair and glasses.  One of my friends, similarly, could not seem to notice when boys would flirt with her during sophomore year – because she still saw herself as an awkward middle schooler with braces, and not as the charming cheerleader with the great smile.
    Inversely, self-image can be inflated, causing character to behave as though they are funnier, smarter, or more prepared than they truly are (see: the rest of my sophomore acquaintances).  This can be an overlooked character flaw opportunity – or flawportunity…

Originally posted by alliefallie


Acquired Traits

Now we move on to the acquired traits of personality, which are the ones you’re more likely to find on a character sheet or a list of “10 Questions for Character Development”, alongside a million other things like their zodiac sign and their spirit animal.  But the traits I’m about to outline are a little more relevant to a character’s behavior, and more importantly, how to make this behavior unique from other characters’ behavior.  The following traits will be learned by your characters throughout their life (and their story), and are more likely to shift and grow with time:

  • Interests – I know, I had to reach deep down into my soul to think of this one.  But it’s true!  Interests, both in childhood/adolescence and in adulthood, are an important part of a character’s personality and lifestyle.  Childhood interests both reveal something about the character (for instance: my nephew loves trains, Legos, and building, suggesting a future interest in construction or engineering) and create values that can last for a lifetime.  Current interests affect career choice, social circles, and daily activity for everyone.  Forgotten or rejected interests can be the source of pet peeves, fears, or bad memories. There’s a reason I’ll never play with Polly Pockets again, and it 100% has to do with bloody fingertips and a purse that wouldn’t open.
  • Sense of Humor – This can be a little hard to define, understandably.  If you were to ask me what my sense of humor is, I’d probably start with a few stupid memes, pass by Drake & Josh on the way, and somehow wind up telling you bad puns or quoting Chelsea Peretti’s standup comedy. A person’s sense of humor can be complex and contradictory!  Sometimes we just laugh at stuff because someone said it in a funny way.  But anyway, to help you boil this down to something useful: take a look at a few kinds of comedy and relate it to your character’s maturity level.  Do they laugh when someone lets out a toot?  Are they the kind of person to mutter, “That’s what she said,” or simply try not to laugh when something sounds dirty?  Can puns make them crack a smile?  Do they like political humor?  Do cat videos kill them?  Is their humor particularly dark?  Can the mere sound of someone else laughing make them laugh?  Figure out where your character’s sense of humor is, and you’ll feel closer to them already.
  • Pet Peeves – For every interest a person may have, and everything that makes them laugh, there’s something else that can piss them off, large- or small-scale.  Are they finnicky about their living space and neatness? Do they require a lot of privacy? Do certain sounds or behaviors drive them crazy?  What qualities are intolerable in a romantic interest for them? What kind of comments or beliefs make them roll their eyes?  If you need help, just try imagining their worst enemy – someone whose every word or action elicits the best eye-rolls and sarcastic remarks and even a middle finger or two – and ask yourself, what about this person makes them that mortal enemy?  What behaviors or standards make them despicable to your character?  That’s all it takes.
  • Skills – Everybody has them, and they’re not just something we’re born with.  Skills can be natural talent, sure, but they’re also cultivated from time, values, and interests.  What is your character okay at?  What are they good at?  What are they fantastic at?  Maybe they can cook.  Maybe they have a beautiful eye for colors.  Maybe they have an inherent sense of right and wrong that others admire. Maybe they’re super-athletic or incredibly patient or sharp as a tack or sweet as a cupcake.  Maybe they know how to juggle, or maybe they’re secretly the most likely of all their friends to survive a zombie apocalypse.  Where do they shine?  What would make someone look at them and think, “Wow, I wish I were them right now”?
  • Desires – A good way to “separate” one character from the next is to define what it is they want, and then use every other detail to dictate how they pursue that goal.  Every real person has a desire, whether they’ve defined it or not – whether it’s something huge, like fame or a family of five with triplet girls and a beach house on an island, or something small, like good grades for the semester.  These desires can cause a person to revise their values or forsake their morals; and these desires can conflict with other people’s desires, influencing how people interact with each other.  Remember that every character is living their own story, even if it’s not the story you’re telling.
  • Communication Style – A majorly overlooked character trait in pop fiction is unique communication styles.  Having every character feel comfortable arguing, or bursting out with the words, “I love you,” is unrealistic.  Having every character feel paralyzed at the idea of confronting a bully or being honest to their spouse is also unrealistic.  There should be a healthy mix of communicators in a group of characters. Some people are too softspoken to mouth off at their racist lab partner.  Some people wouldn’t see their girlfriend kissing another guy and just walk away without saying something.  Some people just don’t react to conflict by raising their voice; some people enjoy sharing their opinions or giving the correct answer in class.  Boldness, social skills, and emotional health all have a part to play in how people communicate their thoughts – so keep this in mind to create a more realistic, consistent character.
  • Emotional Expression – Along the same lines but not the same, emotional expression is more focal on feelings than thoughts.  If you’ve ever heard of the fight-or-flight response, the different types of anger, the stages of grief, or the five love languages, then you’re aware of different “classifications” of emotional expression and management.  Read up on some of those things, and think about how your character handles emotions like happiness, sadness, fear, anger, loneliness, paranoia, and so forth.

Detrimental Traits

While acquired traits are certainly more enjoyable to brainstorm during the creation process, detrimental traits are as important – or even more important – to the character’s wholeness as well as their role in the story.  Not only do these negative or limiting traits make your character realistic, relatable, and conflicted – they create a need for other characters and their strengths to move the plot forward.  A few examples of detrimental traits include:

  • Flaws – Character flaws are probably the first thing that came to your mind while reading this, but they’re the essence of the category.  Flaws in a character’s personality, morality, or behavior can be a source of character development; they set an individual on their own path and provide a unique motivation for them.  Having Character A struggle with sobriety while Character B learns to be a more patient mother can do a lot to separate their stories and personalities from each other.  Even if certain flaws don’t reach a point of growth, they create a third aspect to personality and force us, as writers, to be more creative with how our characters get from Point A to Point B, and what they screw up along the way.
  • Fears – Everyone has fears, whether we’re conscious of them or not – and I’m not talking about phobias or “things that give you shivers”.  Just like everyone has a primary motivation throughout life (romance, family, success, meaning, peace of mind, etc.), everyone has a fear behind that motivation (loneliness, failure, emptiness, anxiety).  We all have something we don’t want to happen places we never want to be and things we never want to do.  We’ve all been in situations that mildly bothered others but wildly affected us at the same time.  For me, it’s a lack of autonomy, or in any way being forced to do something or be somewhere against my will.
    What does this mean for me?  It means that when other people have nightmares about being chased by an axe murderer, I have nightmares about being kidnapped and locked up.  It means that I’m continually aware of my “escape plan” if something goes wrong in my living situation, and I’m hypersensitive to someone telling me, “You have to do this.”  It means I struggle to follow rules and usually don’t get along with authority figures because I have to assert my independence to them.  It’s irrational and continual and doesn’t just affect me in one situation; it subconsciously directs my steps if I let it.  That’s how real, guttural fears work. Phobias are only skin deep, and they don’t make you feel any closer to the character.

Originally posted by giantmonster

  • Secrets – Even goody two-shoes Amber from the swim team, with her blonde blonde hair and her good good grades, has a secret.  Everybody does, even if it’s not a purposeful, “I have a deep, dark secret,” sort of secret. We have things we don’t tell people, just because they’re embarrassing, or painful, or too deep to get into, or they don’t paint us in a good light.  While the secrets themselves tell a lot about a person, so do the reasons a person keeps a secret.  Hiding something out of shame suggests a person is prideful, or critical of themselves, or holds themselves to a higher standard than they hold others.  Hiding something painful suggests that the person struggles to handle sadness or regret, or that they feel uncomfortable showing raw emotion in front of loved ones. And so on and so forth.
  • Conflict – Whether internal, interpersonal, legal, moral, societal, or what have you, conflict will limit your character’s actions at every turn.  A story is nothing without conflict driving the plot in different directions and causing your character to rethink both their plans and their lifestyle.  Without Katniss’s moral conflict over killing other tributes, The Hunger Games would be the story of a girl who entered an arena, killed a lot of people, and lived the rest of her life rich and comfortable.  If Luke Skywalker didn’t have interpersonal conflict with Darth Vader, Star Wars would be the war-story of a guy who joined a rebellion and then… yeah.
  • Health – Physical, mental, and emotional health is a huge limiting factor for characters that often goes untouched, but it’s valuable nonetheless.  Not everyone has a clean bill of health and can jump off trains without pulling a muscle, go through a traumatic life experience without any hint of depression or anxiety, or watch a loved one die in gunfire and shove right on without emotional repercussions. Consider creating a character who’s not perfect – who isn’t perfectly in-shape or abled, or neurotypical or stable day-to-day, or completely clean and clear of residual heartache, unhealthy relationships, or bad emotional habits.  Don’t define them by these traits, of course – but don’t feel that you can’t write a character with health issues without writing a “sick character.”

So this post got ridiculously long, but I hope it works as a reference for you when creating unique characters.  Remember that you don’t need to outline all of this information to create an individual, realistic character.  These are just some relevant ideas to get you started!  It’s up to you, as the writer, to decide what’s necessary and what’s excessive for your creative process.

Still, I hope a majority of this is helpful to you!  If you have any more questions, be sure to send them in and we’ll get back to you :)  Good luck!

- Mod Joanna ♥️


If you need advice on general writing or fanfiction, you should maybe ask us!

A Little Dirt on the Signs

Because the world is not perfect, the zodiac signs ALWAYS have positive and negative traits, + you are not perfect.

Aries can push others away by not noticing other’s feelings.

Taurus can push others away by valuing the security someone gives, not the actual individual.

Gemini can push others away due to shallowness, inconsistency, and some pick fights or start drama for entertainment.

Cancer can push others away by getting angry or upset from criticism, help, or when ordered to do something (by someone with the right to).

Leo can push others away due to their pride and arrogance.

Virgo can push others away with their judgment/criticism.

Libra can push others away with overwhelming self-doubt, indifference, shallowness, or conceitedness.

Scorpio can push others away with self-isolation or anger + their famous love or hate intensity.

Sagittarius can push others away due to exaggeration, contentious behavior, or unreliable/untrustworthy acts (usually via inconsistency).

Capricorn can push others away by being authoritative or with cynicism.

Aquarius can push others away due to their natural detachment or with a controlling and argumentative behavior towards ideas and opinions.

Pisces can push others away by pushing their feelings too hard onto others or with guilt trips.

Relationship Check Up

A healthy relationship means that both members of the couple are…

1. Communicating with each other: Talking about problems without screaming and shouting; listening to each other, and respecting their viewpoint; being willing to adapt and to sometimes change their mind.

2. Showing respect for one another: Valuing the other person’s culture, beliefs, viewpoints, opinions and boundaries. Also, treating each other in a kind and caring way.

3. Demonstrating and conveying trust: Each person is trustworthy and trusts the other person – because they have been shown that they are worthy of that trust.

4. Honest with each other: Both are open and honest – but are private as well; and they don’t demand the other person tells them everything.

5. Equals: They make joint decisions and treat each other well. No person calls the shots or determines all the rules.

6. Able to enjoy their own personal space: As well as spending time together, they spend time on their own. They’re respect the fact they’re different, and they need their own life, too.

7. Decisions about sex are discussed, and are consensual: They discuss sex together, including birth control. There’s no one individual sets the rules and standards here.

Signs of an unhealthy relationship

An unhealthy relationship develops where one, or both, of the partners is…

1. Failing to communicate: Problems are ignored, or not talked about at all. One or both don’t really listen, and they rarely compromise.

2. Acting in ways that are disrespectful: One or both are inconsiderate toward the other person; and they don’t behave in ways that send the message that they care.

3. Refusing to trust the other person: One or both is suspicion of their partner’s loyalty. Hence, they make false accusations, or won’t believe the truth.

4. Acting in a way that is dishonest: One or both is deceptive, or they lie and hide the truth.

5. Acting in a controlling way: One person thinks that they should set the one who rules, controls the other person, and say how things should be.

6. Beginning to feel squashed and smothered / cutting themselves off from friends and family: One partner is possessive, or feels threatened and upset, when the other’s with their family or spends time with their friends.

7. Attempting to pressurise the other into sexual activity / refusing to talk openly about birth control: One partner wants the other to participate in sex, or to engage in different practices against that’s person’s will. Or, one of the partners stops using birth control, or expects the other person to “take care of all that.”

Signs of an abusive relationship

An abusive relationship develops when one of the parties…

1. Starts to communicate in ways that are abusive: When arguments occur, one of the partners screams and cusses, or they verbally threaten or attack the other person.

2. Shows disrespect through acting in abusive ways: This is where one of the partners abuse, harms or threatens the physical safety of the other individual.

3. Wrongly accuses their partner of flirting or cheating: One of the partners is convinced – with no real grounds – that their partner is cheating or having an affair. Thus, they lash out verbally, or hurt, the accused partner.

4. Refuses to accept responsibility for the abuse: When they fly into a rage or act in ways that are abusive, they miminise their actions and refuse to accept blame. They may even blame their partner for “causing the abuse.”

5. Starts to control the other partner: One partner has no say as the other sets the rules – and arguing against that simply leads to more abuse.

6. Does what they can to isolate their partner: One partner has control of who the other person sees, the way they spend their time – and, even, clothes they buy and wear. Thus, they start to lose their confidence and personality.

7. Forces sexual activity: The frequency, type and circumstances for sex are determined by one partner – and the other must comply. If they don’t acquiesce it leads to violence or abuse. Also, sometimes violence is included in the sex.

Hoe Tips: Self Love/Self Confidence

The key to being a boss hoe is loving yourself, and reminding yourself that you👏are👏the👏shit👏. I know this is easier said than done sometimes, so here are some tips to change your self perspective, and honestly to change your life.

1. I know this is going to sound cliche, but eating healthy and exercising does WONDERS. Taking care of yourself physically is a huge aspect of taking care of yourself mentally, as it balances out hormones, produces endorphins, and makes you generally look and feel better.

2. For body confidence: take selfies. Take several. Try out different filters, angles, and lighting and see what you look best in. If you’re comfortable, even take some nudes or lingerie pics to boost your ego. Snapchat has a feature called My Eyes Only where you can passcode protect any pictures you don’t want people seeing to keep all of your selfies and nudes.

3. Cut off people who treat you like shit. Cut off people who aren’t important to you. Cut off people that contribute nothing to geting you where you want to be. Delete numbers, block social media accounts, whatever you have to do. Be civil if you interact with them, but do not let them suck you in.

4. Learn to say no. Say no to things that make you uncomfortable, or things that hurt you, or things that may put the things you work hard for at risk. You are not obligated to do anything that you don’t want to do. Say no, and don’t apologize, because it is your RIGHT to say no.

5. Take yourself on a date. Go for a walk, see a movie, eat at your favorite restaurant/cafe. I like to make a habit of doing this once at least every couple of weeks, for some alone time.

6. If you’re comfortable, or at least willing to try, masturbate. Invest in a sex toy, or rely on your fingers, and go to town. Physical pleasure can do *wonders* for your mood and your self confidence.

7. Do your hair/makeup/wardrobe the👏way👏you👏want👏. Pick out looks that you KNOW flatter you, and invest in more items and styles like it. Toss/donate clothes or items you don’t like, and make sure that the only things in your vanity/closet are things that you know you slay in.

8. Make playlists that make you feel like a boss ass bitch. Beyonce, Rihanna, 5H, Nicki, and Ciara are some personal faves of mine, but any songs that make you feel sexy or in charge will do. Listen to them in the car, during your workout, just laying around, etc.

9. Every month, reserve a day to treat yourself; do some yoga or workout, take an epsom salt bath instead of a shower, soak your feet (warm water+baking soda in a little bucket=super duper soft feet), paint your nails, do your eyebrows, do a face mask, meditate, read a book, knit, draw, paint, go for a walk, get a massage. Develop a monthly routine to have a day for yourself and do whatever it is that makes you feel best.

10. Invest in a freakum dress; everybody needs one outfit (doesn’t even have to be a dress) that you know DAMN well you look fine in. Mine is a black bodycon dress with ribbed sides and black heels, I look and feel like a bad bitch in it. When you feel down, put on ya freakum dress. Look in the mirror, examine your angles, hype yourself tf up because you fuckin slayyy boo

11. Educate yourself. Pick a topic that you want to learn more about (it can be anything, from an artist to a particular science to a sport) and research it. Do one topic per week, and be amazed with how much you learn and absorb. Treating your brain is too often neglected, and being rich in knowledge is the best kind of rich you can be.

12. Keep a journal. Write out what you feel about yourself, what moves you have made to take care of yourself, and what situations you can work on. This will help you keep track of your self love progress, and you can look back at certain steps for motivation.

13. Give yourself something to look forward to each day. Pack a delicious lunch before you go to bed, make plans with a loved one, reserve an hour for your favorite show, lay out your favorite clothes the night before, plan a nap, whatever motivates you to wake up a little happier the next day.

14. Watch ASMR videos or podcasts (you can find them on YouTube). These are videos that focus solely on sounds (wrappers being crinkled, nails being tapped, whispering, etc.), and stimulating your senses. Some get a tingly feeling from listening to specific sounds, others find it easier to relax/focus. It sounds stupid, but it genuinelt changed my life.

15. If you genuinely feel that you need more than just self-help tutorials on Tumblr, do NOT be afraid to seek professional help. There are plenty of affordable, helpful therapists, hotlines, and counselors to assist you in any emotional conflicts that you may be having. It is nothing to be ashamed of, and it is not something to give up on if the first try at therapy doesn’t work out for you. If you feel you need it, please please please, seek help.

16. Quit drinking/smoking/doing drugs if you do any of them. This one should go without saying.

17. Make a bucket list; list places you want to go, things you want to do, concerts you want to see, and start doing them one by one.

18. When you make minor mistakes (a bad grade, a missed play in a sport, an embarrassing moment, etc), use the two minute rule; take two minutes to be upset, assess the situation, establish what you could’ve done differently, and move on. After two minutes, take the issue as a lesson, instead of as a mistake. Learning that you are human, and furthermore mentally establishing how to be a better one, is a HUGE aspect in self love.

19. Know your worth. You are a human being, capable of endless things. You have your own flaws, and your own talents, and your own assets that are unique and individual to YOU. You can wear whatever, sleep with whoever, date whoever, eat whatever, do whatever, as long as you 1) respect legal values and the values of others, and 2) remember your own value. Do not let anyone demean you, because you are more than someone’s critique of you.

That’s all I can think of for now. Love yourselves, babies. I know from personal experience that it’s hard to go from rock bottom to the throne, but I swear with patience and resilience, it can be done. My messages are open for anyone who needs to talk or has any questions. Stay safe, queens💞

Venus Signs and How They Attract People

*Note: placements are interpreted without a house influence and as if they were unaspected, other placements in a chart can affect how Venus manifests in one’s chart. Feminine pronouns are used for Venus because I view her as a feminine planet, all gender identities have a functional Venus. 

 Venus in Aries: By doing her own thing. Venus in Aries is notoriously hard to catch because of her tendency to incite feelings of attraction in others when she’s being completely oblivious to their existence. Often a strong presence that draws in others wherever she goes, Venus in Aries tends to make other people follow her in whatever direction she’s heading, even if she doesn’t know what direction that is herself. Because of her individuality and strong self-esteem that is rooted only in her own opinion of herself, only the most persistent, strong willed, or accommodating of suitors can catch her. She is, however, as present in a relationship as she is hard to catch since once set on a path for love, is completely on that one path.

Venus in Taurus: By being classy. Venus in Taurus often gets a reputation for being materialistic because she appreciates the things that money can buy. This, however, is also where her charming sense of style and strong personal values come from. Venus in Taurus doesn’t want to hear cheap talk or see displays of machismo, she holds out for the suitor whose actions show her love and on whom she can rely. Love is great, but Venus in Taurus tends to fall in love with security. Venus in Taurus also tends to be the most comfortable of all the Venus signs in her own body which often leads others to want to touch her because of her naturally well-built form.

Venus in Gemini: By being the whole package. Venus in Gemini, as per her reputation, can be a bit all over the place and a jack of all trades, but this gives her a wide variety of skills to utilize and topics to discuss. She tends to attract people by being inquisitive and genuinely interested in what others say. As a result, she can talk to anyone about anything, at least until they bore her. She’s never boring, but she also can get bored quite easily and only suitors that can either roll with how fast-paced she is or give her a lot of freedom can keep her around. Tending to be one of the more popular Venus signs, Venus in Gemini has no shortage of interests or people interested in talking to her.

Venus in Cancer: By caring about family values. Venus in Cancer tends to be, more so than other placements, a product of her environment. It’s not that she can’t think for herself, it’s just that she doesn’t see the point in trying to do something a new way if an old way works. Because of this, she tends to attract people with her old-fashioned charm and by genuinely caring about the well-being and emotional state of those around her. Because of her inclination towards valuing her own family, Venus in Cancer can be a bit standoffish to strangers but there’s nobody more fiercely devoted to those she cares about. Potential suitors may be scared off by the ferocity at which she defends her pack, but that won’t stop those who truly value her love.

Venus in Leo: By being fabulous. Venus in Leo can be a bit of a diva at times, but that’s just because she has a strong sense of self-worth and is very creative. This worth can sometimes dip when she receives criticism, but that only drives her to seek out only those who can truly appreciate her in her natural attractiveness. Because of her grand self-image, she’s also notably generous with what she has and despite how much of a diva she may seem really wants others to like her. However, she’s not the type to take any crap from anyone which makes her appear like quite the prize to be won. Only suitors who are willing to treat her like the royalty she knows is are worthy of being in her royal family where she can continue being her creative self.

Venus in Virgo: By always being prepared and organized. Venus in Virgo is predictably well groomed and while she typically isn’t the vain type, she takes a lot of care to take care of her body and as a result is often in glowing shape. She tends to attract people with her constant preparedness and timeliness which tells others that she values their time and effort. While this placement is notably picky, it’s a way of winnowing out suitors who won’t value how much effort she puts into everything and may take her service-oriented nature for granted.

Venus in Libra: By wanting to understand other people. Venus in Libra tends to have a very inviting appearance that corresponds to her inviting personality. It’s easy to talk to a Venus in Libra because she is very other-oriented and values what other people need, often to her own detriment. Because Venus in Libra can also be somewhat averse to heavy emotions, she often finds herself in a situation where she has to smile and listen despite how the conversation is making her uncomfortable because she cares that the other person gets heard even when they aren’t listening to her at all. As a result, Venus in Libra tends to fall for the lighthearted and fun types, those who can help her find the beauty and balance in the world and naturally give as much as they take.

Venus in Scorpio: By being mysterious. Venus in Scorpio gets a reputation for being mean, but it’s because she really values the transformation cycle. People are naturally intimidated by the depth at which she can go into the emotional realm but that slight uneasiness and curiosity is what draws them in. While she may seem unfriendly, it’s mostly because she loves very, very deeply and only wants to share that with someone who she feels deserves that amount of devotion. Incredibly loyal and the type of person who will never give up on someone, her emotional resolution will only be admitted to suitors who can handle both all of the pain and love she can bring. Most cannot handle the self-reflection they are required to do in her presence because it can be painful, but the breaking down of old systems is what allows for pure, steel-strong love to develop between her and her chosen love.

Venus in Sagittarius: By making jokes. Venus in Sagittarius is one of the liveliest Venus placements and she is able to lighten up just about any situation with her effervescent humor. She often has a passion for a world where good triumphs over evil and through her own sense of right and wrong she often galvanizes others to see the world through her worldly lens. Venus in Sagittarius has a knack for attracting people who come from cultures very different from her own and is interested in what insights other perspectives can offer her. As a result, only those who are deep enough to ponder life’s mysteries but also light-hearted enough to laugh at how small we as people are in the context of such a big world can truly win her heart. Winning, however, may not last forever since she is known for having shorter, more intensely passionate relationships in which two individuals come together and change each other’s lives forever, but don’t necessarily stay together.

Venus in Capricorn: By being a boss. Now, Venus in Capricorn doesn’t necessarily have to have already achieved her ambitions to start attracting others, it’s her natural sense of drive and desire to be on top of the world that attracts others to her. She’s not afraid to do what it takes to get her way and others are likely to either respect her for her tenacity or scoff at her because they’re unwilling to put in the same amount of effort she does. She also has a tendency of using how others respect her to her advantage which may leave more dreamy and romantic partners in a daze, but because she’ll test devotion like no other, when she’s committed you can be sure it’s one iron lock of a commitment. She values what others are willing to do for her and in turn she makes them feel valuable for what they have control over (their actions) rather than things that are out of their control (what they’re born with).

Venus in Aquarius: By being quirky. Now, Venus in Aquarius can range from being a total oddball to being incredibly popular, but both  manifestations do so by having an opinion that’s a little different from everyone else’s. It’s kind of hard not to like her because she moves to the beat of her own drum and isn’t afraid to go against the mainstream. Her unwillingness to conform, however, makes her very difficult to get close to because conventional means of approach are often ignored. She may seem a bit standoffish and is generally more interested in ideas than feelings but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t care about people. She just prefers to do so in a more broad way and leave individual emotional care to those who are more adept at it. Only suitors who are ok being close on an intellectual level can ever really be with her.

Venus in Pisces: By being sweet. Venus in Pisces can be a bit naïve, happily oblivious to “reality” and may have very transient emotions, but it’s hard for people to dislike how genuine she is. While it may seem like her constantly crying about how the sky is falling or (while also crying) talking about how beautiful life is over the top, she genuinely feels every emotion she observes. Sometimes, Venus in Pisces may even seem too delicate for this harsh earth, but she inspires others with such emotion that the feel the need to rescue her whenever she’s in trouble. She also may get a reputation for being a liar or playing with people’s emotions, but while she may change how she feels very quickly, she feels it genuinely in that moment which can confuse lovers who see her both madly in love with them and also despairing over their bad side all in a matter of hours and sometimes even minutes. Despite her volatility, moments of true love is rare, and the degree to which she can devote herself is unparalleled, for better or for worse, and suitors can’t help but try for a chance at a taste of it.

-Ralph

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when people ask me why i’m learning Japanese 

half of me: Because Japan is a prosperous country and has the most diverse economy in Asia, so a study of Japanese can open your perspective on the values that other Asian nations share with Japan, including religious beliefs, ethics, and aesthetics…. etc

other half of me:    it’s soo pretty  ❀

Mars/Venus: Instincts + Attraction

Your rising sign can be used in addition to your Mars sign (and house placement), as Mars rules the first house. These represent an archetype you often find yourself gravitating towards whether it be situations or people who embody these themes, you also tend to embody them yourself.

I am instinctively drawn towards…

Mars in Aries: Freedom, action, adventure, self discovery.
Mars in Taurus: Security, nature, beauty, leisure, whatever reflects my values.
Mars in Gemini: Variety, wit, communication, language, facts, intellectualism.
Mars in Cancer: Nurturing, being nurtured, nostalgia, comfort, home.
Mars in Leo: Self-expression, theatricality, glamour, romance, fun.
Mars in Virgo: Self-improvement, analysis, humility, perfectionism.
Mars in Libra: Relationships, aesthetics, diplomacy, sophistication, fantasy.
Mars in Scorpio: Intensity, power, sex, the morbid, hidden or occult.
Mars in Sagittarius: Truth, philosophy, religion, other cultures, academia.
Mars in Capricorn: Wisdom, discipline, social status, authority.
Mars in Aquarius: Genius, science, groups, rebellion, the unconventional.
Mars in Pisces: Spirituality, sacrifice, sensitivity, isolation, escapism.

Your descendant and 2nd house can be used in addition to your Venus sign and house placement, as Venus rules both the 2nd and 7th house. The Taurus or 2nd house side of Venus represents an archetype you value while the Libra/7th house side represents what you often attract into your life through others.

I tend to value or attract people who are…

Venus in Aries: Invigorating, courageous, competitive, selfish, bullying, naive.
Venus in Taurus: Dependable, artistic, beautiful, stubborn, possessive, greedy.
Venus in Gemini: Clever, talkative, curious, intellectual, immature, dishonest.
Venus in Cancer: Nurturing, gentle, domestic, needy, moody, irrational.
Venus in Leo: Confident, fun, creative, romantic, egotistical, attention-seeking.
Venus in Virgo: Health-conscious, helpful, analytical, humble, critical, anxious.
Venus in Libra: Polite, charming, elegant, flaky, co-dependent, unstable.
Venus in Scorpio: Powerful, perceptive, deep, manipulative, destructive.
Venus in Sagittarius: Profound, cultured, optimistic, arrogant, blunt, foolish.
Venus in Capricorn: Ambitious, disciplined, wise, repressed, intolerant.
Venus in Aquarius: Friendly, unique, rebellious, detached, unpredictable.
Venus in Pisces: Compassionate, poetic, imaginative, lacking boundaries, delusional, fragile.