I’ve been gone for a loooong time, there’s really no escaping it. I’m still here, I still wanna write, it’s just been really crazy these past few months. So, here’s an excerpt from a fix I’ve been working on for forever. This takes place right after “I will try to fix you”.
“Sir, I recognize your sentiments, but I feel that this would be better for the both of us tonight.”
Though they both speak formally, as they had agreed they would whenever they were in uniform or on the job, Riza is situated firmly on the other side of Roy’s bed. They face each other, but leave a considerable amount of space between them. She wishes she could scoot over to him and let him hold her, but they’re already stretching the rules as it is.
“Hawkeye,” he says, trying to put as much meaning in her last name as he would do with her first. “I appreciate it, but I’m perfectly fine.”
“We both know that’s a bold-faced lie,” she replies, but adds a smile to take off the unintended bite of her words. “Colonel, you may not think you need the company, but I think you do. Not to mention the fact that I would very much like to not be alone tonight.” Her voice tightens at the end, and Riza is surprised. She’s kept her composure for this long, so why is she breaking now?
For the last couple years, I’ve comforted myself by saying I’m in my
“early 70s,” but math is simple and unforgiving. Today is my 75th
birthday, and God, the years do fly.
I’m not here for your well wishes; this is hardly a milestone I’m
excited about. I’m glad to still be here, of course, but I find I have
less and less to live for with every passing year. My bones ache, my
kids live far away, and the other side of my bed has been empty for just
over eight months now. In fact, once I cast my vote against that
goddamned Trump this November, I may have nothing to live for at all.
“what is love? how did you know you were in love with him?”
“i guess i knew i was in love with him when his bad days became my bad days. when his good days became my good days. i don’t know, i never met anyone like him before. i guess i knew i was in love when i wish it would storm so i could see him become excited about something he loved. so i could see him smile. i guess i knew i was in love with him when the thought of him leaving scared the hell out of me. i guess i knew i was in love with him when i would roll over to the other side of the bed and reach for a hand that wasn’t there anymore. i guess i knew i was in love with him when losing him felt like losing a friend, best friend and boyfriend all in one. i guess i knew i was in love with him when i use to dread the morning but somehow wanted to wake up to it everyday. i guess i knew i was in love with him when my days suddenly became more quiet. i guess i knew i was in love with him when the thought of him never left my mind even though it’s been a year. i guess i knew i was in love with him when i wasn’t the best version of myself the way i was with him. he made me feel like i knew what love was. he made me feel like i was worthy of a type of love they talk about in movies and fairytales. the closest thing we have to magic is love and with him.. magic was our love. magic was us. magic was him. it’s always going to be him.”
Saying goodbye is never the hardest part. It is everything that comes after. It is getting up in the morning and reaching across the sheets to find the other side of the bed empty. It is making two cups of coffee out of habit and pouring the leftovers down the sink. It is wanting to share a good story and remembering that no one’s there to listen. It is an empty drawer and shattered picture frames, it is glass shards littering the floor and red wine spilled on the carpet. It is constantly pondering about what you did wrong and why you always seem to push people away. It is throat burning after taking too many shots and stumbling into someone else’s arms. It is driving past his house and having to stop the car to take a deep breath. It is meeting him again; it’s avoiding eye contact or careful smiles and holding back the tears. And it’s never easy. It is having to say goodbye not once, but over and over, like a broken record. And one day, the word goodbye will feel numb on your tongue, so you’ll say hello instead. You’ll say I’ll try instead of I can’t do this. That’s when you’ll know you’re ready.
I had just come out the shower and was now chilling in my boxers. There I was
laying in my bed watching the Justice League DVD on a Saturday night while my
room mate was out having fun at the club on this rainy night. In my opinion,
this was a better way to spend my night instead of going out in the rain to get
sick. I am Derek, a slender light skinned black male with brown eyes. I’m not
much of a party enthusiast as most in my age category of 18 are but I am human
and my dick was starting to make me aware of that fact as it ascended from
slumber. If you haven’t guessed already, I’m a virgin. I lowered the TV volume and just as I was about to give it some
attention, there was a text notification sound on my phone .
Me (Derek Towers)
My friend AJ
hit me up on whatsapp. Now AJ was an attractive guy with an amazing ass and
what I had to guess was a pretty good size dick. I could only imagine as I saw
the outline once while we were on the beach. AJ was an easygoing fellow about a
year older than myself. We met at my job at the hotel where I was a waiter and
he was a lifeguard. He was cool and we got along great but he was ridiculously
homophobic and there was no way I was going to let him know that I played for
conversation, I still had my little problem. I opened the tumblr app on my
phone and scrolled down looking at sexy guys for hours, occasionally watching
some porn video. Eventually, I saw a new story by my favorite author @morrisondauthor
entitled “Freak by Night 7: Freaky Sneaky.” His stories are always so
sexy that I find myself ejaculating before I get to the end. I get so upset
when he takes a while to post his stories because they give me life and take me
to a world I could never imagine. For some reason, the context usually gets me
hornier than the images he uses. I got to the good part and it made me so close
to my climax when my phone notification alarmed me. If you haven’t guessed, it
was AJ letting me know he got home safely. He went on to tell me about his
night and how he had four rounds of sex with his date in her car and she came
all 4 times. I was so jealous, I was trying to come once to satisfy myself and
he interrupted me boasting about his extravagant time. Now all I had in my mind
were images of his sexy ass f***ing her sexy ass in the car and my vivid
imagination made me ten times hornier. I had to get my nut so I told him the
Me: You got
your nut now I’m going to work on mine
Pamela? 😂😂😂 Night. Don’t forget the jergens.
dignify him with a response. Instead I went to the living room and sat in the
couch with nothing on but my boxer briefs. My dick stuck fully erect through
the hole in my boxers and I jacked away once again replaying Morrison’s story
in my head imagining it was me coming down the stairs to a sexy surprise. The
sound of the thunderstorm outside with sprinkles of rain violently pelleting
the window fueled my hormones and I could feel my balls ready to release the
seed from their constraints. Suddenly there was a loud crash at my doorstep
synonymous with a lightning bolt outside which ignited fear into my heart and
caused me to forget that I was horny. Cautiously I approached the door and
peered through the peep hole to notice nobody standing in the hallway. Still my
curiosity wouldn’t let me rest so I opened the door ready to put my self
defense skills to the test if I needed it. Imagine my disappointment when I
viewed my roommate, Kevin wet from head to toe lying at our doorstep in the
fetal position. He appeared to be highly intoxicated and since he doesn’t have
a car, I can only assume that a Good Samaritan literally dropped him at the
door. As the epinephrine wore off, I started to realize that I was once again
disturbed from achieving my natural high.
Even though I
was upset, I couldn’t leave him there like that so I dragged him inside. Like
AJ, Kevin was straight, usually requesting that I keep the “gay shit” to
myself. Yes, he knew about me. I’ve known him since we were kids because we
were neighbors and grew up living in each other’s homes. When I found out that
I had a taste for both girls and boys, I was around 13 and Kevin was the only
person I told at the time. His reaction to the news could have been better. He
called me a faggot and stormed out of my house. We didn’t speak for weeks
afterward. Eventually he came to me randomly one day and apologized. I couldn’t
forgive him and asked him to leave letting him know just how much he hurt me.
He didn’t give up though and proved himself from that day forth that he wanted
to be my best friend again. He fought off bullies, walked with me home from
school and acted like the friend he was before I told him. I forgave him after
a while and we were boys again. He constantly tries to get me to go out and drink
with him but like I said before, I really don’t have a taste for it. We got
this apartment when we moved to Florida for college and we get along well
despite his occasional battles with alcoholism. Even so, it’s never been this
bad.Kevin loved the gym and he worked out every weekday evening at 5 and went
jogging every morning at 6. He took his physical health very seriously which is
why I never understood why he drank alcohol. He also managed to maintain above
average grades for his track and field scholarship at UCF.
I lifted Kevin
off the floor and even though he was rather heavy, got him to the bathtub and
removed the wet clothes from his barely responsive body. I haven’t seen him
naked since we took baths together as kids but when I saw his naked body I had
to step back and admire the marvelous muscular masterpiece. My eyes wandered to
his dick which wasn’t even hard yet his uncircumcised attachment was 7 inches
long and fatter towards the base. I finally snapped back into reality left to
get a glass of warm water and an empty bucket in case he vomited. I ran some
warm water in the bathtub and thoroughly bathed him. I couldn’t believe I was
cleaning a grown man, but I didn’t want him to go into hypothermia. Not only
was he drunk, but he was also wet from the cold rain. He started to gain a reasonable
level of consciousness.
are you doing?”
and cold just relax and drink this.”
I gave him an
aspirin and the glass of warm water and watched him take it.
“You were wet
let me sleep it off?”
would you rather get a cold or die from dehydration and hypothermia?”
He sucked his
teeth, “you didn’t have to remove my boxers.”
“Hey if it’s
wet it comes off.”
“Get out,” he
said covering his private area.
could pass out at any minute. Look, I already lifted your heavy ass in here,
removed your clothes by myself then took my bare hands and wiped your dirty
ass. In fact it was my hands that peeled back your foreskin and cleaned your
penis. It’s a little too late for modesty.”
speechless so I said, “What’s that on the floor? Pick it up you’re making
down, “What? What are you talking about?”
lip, now get out the tub and come dry off”
funny,” he sarcastically mumbled as he stumbled out the bathtub.
I was right
there to catch him with a towel and prevent him from falling. I began to dry
his body when he smartly remarked, “I can do it myself you know”
I removed my
body support and he dropped to the ground barely breaking his fall with his
“I thought you
“Help me up”
“Help me up
“Help me up
“Help me up
“D’, I’m not
“Ok,” I began
to leave the room.
“Fine, Please help
me up Supreme Overlord Towers”
“No problem.” I
helped him up and noticed he had an erection.
yours?” I teased.
I assisted him to his bedside and helped him slide on his boxers.
“I feel so embarrassed,” he admitted
“Why? It’s just us here, chill.”
“This is not fair. You’ve seen me naked now and I even got hard,” he slapped his face in embarrassment.
“We used to bathe together all the time, washing each other’s backs and laughing at each other’s nakedness. What’s the big deal?”
He couldn’t make eye contact and stayed quiet so after sucking my teeth, I slid off my boxers, threw them to the side and danced around in a circle wagging my dick from left to right.
“Woah!” He exclaimed.
“Now I don’t have on anything. Are you happy now?”
He laughed hysterically, “that’s not what I meant.”
“Go to bed.” I helped him lay down and covered him with a warm blanket.
I turned around to leave but to my surprise, he grabbed my hand, “Please, don’t leave me again.”
“Again? I never left you.”
He burst into tears, “yes you did. When I called you by that word and you got upset with me, I didn’t know what to do with myself. I never wanted to lose my best friend. Those were the hardest months of my life, I never even cried over a girl like that.”
Confused, all I could say was, “This must be the alcohol talking.” I turned to leave again.
“Please!” He shouted.
“Okay, okay, just don’t yell like that again. The neighbors are sleeping.”
“Sleep here tonight.”
“If that would make you feel better, fine, but don’t vomit on me please.” I went to the corner to get my boxers.
“You don’t need those.”
Once again, confused but internally contented. I happily obliged, turned off the light went on the other side of his queen sized bed, pulling the covers over my exposed body.
The sound of rain pattering on the window echoed in the room and I was falling asleep. Unexpectedly, I felt a warm gentle touch on my dick that slammed the emergency brake of the train to dreamland. My dick was being massaged by none other than my best friend. I silently protested in my head not wanting to disturb the amazing sensation I was feeling which caused me to leak pre-ejaculation fluid. My brain finally gained control and I managed to stop him.
“Wait, what are you doing?”
“Shh. Just let it happen.”
“Now you sound like a rapist. This has to be the alcohol affecting you. You are not in your right frame of mind.” I got up and as I was standing up to leave, he pulled my hand and I landed supine right on the side of him. He lay against me leaning on his side I could see the shadow of his head in front of me and I could feel he was staring at me. Lightning flashed and I saw the look in his eyes that paralyzed me for that moment. I felt the heat radiating from his head increasing in intensity as he slowly approached my face. I felt like Chris from Get Out in the hypnosis scene, helplessly watching this happen through the windows of my eyes. When the eternity passed and he connected with my lips, the curtains closed but I could sense the brightest flashes of lightning outside. I regained control and participated in the best kiss of my life. Opening our eyes and pulling apart met us with nature’s fireworks applauding our performance.
“Wow,” we chorused.
He grabbed my body and brought me into a passionate make out session, rubbing his well toned body against mine allowing me to once again feel it’s shape, this time against my own. He went down to the left side of my neck and started sucking on it while rubbing his hands all over my back down to my bare ass. I hate hickeys but the euphoria was too intense to stop. I felt electricity flowing through my body as he continued. He kissed his way down to my left nipple and I expressed a soft moan. It felt like there was a string directly attached to the pleasure nerves in my dickhead. He continued kissing down my abs until he got to my pubic hairs and he got up. My eyes opened reacting to the sudden pause. We breathed deeply and synchronized.
“I never did anything with a dude before,” he admitted
“I’m still a virgin,” I countered.
I felt my face blush with embarrassment only to be aroused with pleasure at the immediate moist warm sensation that came from the head of my dick. Did he really just put my dick in his mouth? I looked down and he continued down the nine and a half inch solid shaft managing to get half of it in his mouth. That was the most mind blowing feeling in my life.
“You sure you never did this before?”
He chuckled and continued up and down repetitively sending me to a new level of heaven. He paused again and I couldn’t handle any more suspense. I reversed our positions and did exactly as he did to me in the same sequence. I thought my reaction was intense but as I sucked his neck his hands went all over my body and their favorite place was my ass. I worked my way to his nipples and he let out the sexiest deep moan that I couldn’t compare to all my years of watching porn. It send jolts through my body causing me to be extra turned on. I couldn’t take it anymore, I had to know what that dick tasted like. I skipped his abs and went straight to his pubic hairs which like mine were short lavishing in the musk they produced. I licked his dick from the base along the underside to the tip where I licked around the head tasting the pheromones produced. I experimented sticking my tongue in the entrance and he jumped.
“That was intense!” he smiled
I continued taking his head in my throat and he rewarded me with another deep moan. I continued my assault down the shaft attempting to go as far as I could. I made it as far as about 3 inches when ii felt my teeth hit his skin and I pulled back thinking about how much that hurt.
“Easy with the teeth baby”
Baby? If I wasn’t black I’m sure my face would be an apple right now. I tried again, this time opening my mouth as wide as I could and I made it down 5 inches of his eleven before I started to choke and retreat for air. He moaned again and that made me determined to get to the base. I went for it again this time holding my breath and swallowing as I went down fighting hard to resist the urge to cough. I think I made it as far as 9 inches that time but it was as far as I could possibly go. He let out another deep moan lasting longer than any of the predecessors.
“Damn baby no girl ever committed to going that far down.”
I was happy to satisfy him but after that I went up and down taking in only what I could manage, slobbering all over that sexy tool of his. After a few minutes, he pulled my head up and lead me in another intense kiss.
“I want to make love to you baby.” He stared intimately at me.
“I want to fuck you.”
“You gotta let me fuck you too”
“No way I’m letting you anywhere near my ass with that thing.” He protested
“And I’m supposed to let you in mine?”
“Yeah but I love you and I want to prove it to you by taking your virginity.”
“I love you too and you can prove your love by letting me fuck you and take your virginity as well”
“I’m not a virgin.”
“Your ass is.”
“You always did have a smart mouth. It’s one of your most attractive qualities.”
“Well, the ball is in your court”
“Ugh….Okay, just go easy on me please.”
“I could say the same.”
“Okay turn over.”
“Umm no. We need to do a couple things to prepare first”
“We? Things like what?”
“Yes we! Come on, I’ll show you”
I went in my bedroom and grabbed my fleet. It’s a good thing I got two new bottles just in case a miracle happened. Didn’t think I’d get to use them so soon. I researched online how to prepare a long time ago and even practiced a couple of times. I taught Kevin what to do and after a while we were ready. We returned to his bedroom and turned his desk lamp on dimly. The patter of the rain was the only sound for a brief moment.
“That felt wierd,” he complained.
“Well there’s one more step we have to take,” I handed him the tube of lube.
“Hold on no need to rush just yet, I want to taste that ass first,” He kissed me intently then moved both of my legs up and attacking my asshole like it was his last meal. I don’t know which was better, that blowjob or the other level he was sending me to while he ate me. I felt his tongue go places that I didn’t know anything could. All of a sudden, I had this epileptic episode I couldn’t control. I was so weak after he finally finished with me. He grabbed the lube and inserted a finger inside my hole to open me up. He worked his second finger in there. and was about to enter.
“You better go up to 4 fingers, that thing is huge”
The third finger hurt like pins and needles. and the fourth was even worse. I really thought I was bleeding. He waited until I was comfortable, somehow managing to remain hard during the entire exercise. I guess he was as horny as I was. He entered me in the missionary position and I felt a sudden sharp pain as he passed my sphincter that sent kilojoules of electricity through my body. I cried and wanted to stop but he held me down and comforted me,
“Relax baby, just relax.”
I took slow deep breaths until the pain eased and he did not move. He waited until I was comfortable before he continued penetrating me at a steady pace. He didn’t go all the way in but he started a slow rhythm with about three inches of his massive meat. He only went further when I was in agreement. I stopped the rhythm and pushed him on his back without severing our connection. Gently I lowered myself onto his rod taking inch by inch until to my surprise, I fit the whole thing in there. I was so proud I almost didn’t notice the euphoric look on Kevin’s face.
“Damn baby, you sexy as f***,” he complimented.
I began a steady rhythm on him and I could feel him hitting my spot every time. Our session went on for a while. We went in every position we could imagine possible until he had me on my belly leaning against the edge of the bed drilling me.
“Hold on baby, you’re going to make me come,” I warned.
“That’s the plan baby,” he smirked.
I realized what he was trying to do and used every will power I had to stop myself from coming and resist him, ending that part of our session.
“You think you’re slick. I’m f***ing your ass tonight.” I retaliated.
He had a look of disappointment on his face but he lie back, removed his condom and succumbed to my wishes. He lie on his back rolling his eyes and pulled his leg up to reveal the prettiest pink spot I’ve ever seen in my life (only one I saw in person but it didn’t compare to anything in porn). I had to treat something so precious with the utmost care. I gently licked it for a few minutes before I let my tongue explore every delicious crevice of his ass it could reach. I imagine his ass would taste like ass but his was surprisingly sweet. I stuck my tongue inside and was shocked when I heard a deep moan escape his lips. I guess he was enjoying this as much as I was. I continued until I tasted something extra sweet and when I looked at it, it was a white fluid. I think he came from his ass. Damn I made him cream from eating him. I couldn’t believe it. His ass was moister than my tongue and I tasted as much as I could before grabbing the bottle of lube. I didn’t think I’d need it but I did not want to hurt him nor did I want him to chicken out. I inserted 2 of my fingers and they went in without a struggle. I had to fight with the third and fourth because his ass had a constant death grip on them. I positioned myself for entry and took it slow with him, exercising as much care as he did me. Like myself, he seemed to experience discomfort with the infiltration of the head. So I repeated the process and let him get used to it. After a while, he told me to go ahead. I started a slow rhythm and carefully eased inch by inch into him until i was working 5 inches inside him. Without warning, he reversed the situation and put himself on top like I did. He started riding me. I was speechless but it felt so good when he slammed all the way down onto my dick taking all of it. He looked so sexy, I watched as his pecks vibrated and his ass jiggled moving up and down on me. He was so sexy I wanted to cry at the beauty I was beholding. His mouth was wide open and his eyes closed with his head tilted back moaning. He was enjoying this as much as I was. Once again we had another session with multiple positions until I was backshotting him. He creamed on my dick again throughout the experience. It felt so good, I knew I would climax soon. He tried to run but I managed to pull him back every time. He said it was too intense and he couldn’t take much more, begging me to cum.
“What’s my name?”
“Wrong!” I violently pounded him.
“What’s my name?”
“I don’t know.” He cried.
“Yea you do,” I pounded harder, “what’s my name?”
“Supreme (moan) Overlord (moan) Towers,” he cried out in pleasure. With those words, 2 weeks of tension building erupted into the condom flooding it with life fluid. I came for a minute straight. I didn’t even know that was possible. The condom had the most cum I’ve ever seen in my life inside and I have know idea how all that fit in there. I looked down to see that Kevin came too. His sheets were soaked in his liquid release. There was so much I was sure he produced more than I did. We struggled to catch our breaths for bout five minutes. It was still raining and we took a shower together and had another make out session. We dried off and went to my room in our birthday suits. He spooned me and we had a long intense discussion even though it was now 3 in the morning.
“I wanted to do that for a long time,” he admitted.
“Why didn’t you?”
“I was afraid.”
“Of what? I’m your best friend.”
“I don’t know. I panicked that day you told me and the reason I freaked out is because I didn’t know how to react. I developed feelings for you and didn’t know how to express myself.”
“All these years and you wait until now to tell me. So what now?”
Disclaimer: Persons in the images used are not necessarily as the story describes do not reflect their character or sexuality. They are a mere depiction of each character’s features. However if there is a problem, please write me and they will be replaced by similar entities
Author’s note: The beginning turned all mushy? Idk what that’s about (Yes I do. It’s because I’m fucking whipped for mushy Harry.) but if the transition seems sudden, whooops. :)
This vacation is an absolute blessing. A week away from the madness and noise of fans and paps and meetings. From the moment the two of you arrived to your private little getaway on the coast, Harry’s been warm and relaxed, and you couldn’t ask for anything more than that.
Helplessness is watching a person you care deeply for deteriorate right before your eyes without having the means to help them.
Desperation is shouting for hours and hours at the top of your lungs for help until your voice is raw and throbbing.
Defeat is knowing that there’s nothing you can do. You’re stuck and forced to live day after day in a small, cold cell. Whatever hope of help coming is replaced with a numbness, a slow realization that this is how your life will end.
Keith blinks back into reality at Lance’s weak, raspy voice. The latter is using his lap as a pillow, and Keith glances down to meet the brunet’s eyes.
“I’m not.” Keith answers, and despite Lance’s ashen face colored only with a deep flush across his cheeks, the brunet’s face lights up as a breathy laugh escapes.
“You literally… pouted when you… said that.”
On instinct, Keith moves to purse his lips out into a pout, but he catches himself and breathes out a low sigh instead.
He tilts his head back up to stare at the stone ceiling. How many days has it been now? Twelve, maybe? He lost track after Lance stopped eating, too worried to care about anything else but the brunet.
Summary: Cuddling up to Otabek has always been easy and normal for Yuri. So when Otabek starts avoiding him, it hurts a lot more than he expects. (2nd place giveaway prize for @some-sort-of-firefly !! Prompt: confessions and first kisses. otayuri. word count: 1237)
They’ve always been
comfortable with being close together physically. That’s how it’s been, and
that’s how it always will be.
At first, it was never the way
Viktor and Yuuri are always draped over each other in public – god,
Yuri would rather never step foot on the ice again than be anything like those
two – but it’s
more of the subtle things, such as Yuri wrapping his arms around Otabek during
motorcycle rides, or Otabek’s hand gently holding the small of Yuri’s back as
he leads them through the streets.
Then it started becoming,
well, less subtle. Such as the
multiple times Yuri has tackles Otabek in a hug after a long period of time
without seeing each other, Otabek playing with Yuri’s hair and braiding it to
different styles, and falling asleep together on the same bed, arms wrapped
around each other.
For Yuri, it’s something
natural, comforting. Nothing calms him down more than Otabek’s touch, warm and
steady and easy to focus on when he’s starting to lose his temper. He’s sure
that his best naps he’s had have always been with Otabek’s arms around him.
Otabek is such a comforting presence that is now hard to live without.
As of late, though, he’s
noticed that Otabek has been distancing himself from him, physically.
Everything else has been the same, but Otabek no longer plays with his hair or
takes his hand, or, well, anything.
He’s been conscious with how he moves when he’s around Yuri, and whenever Yuri
tries to initiate the contact himself, it only takes a few minutes before
Otabek gently moves Yuri’s hands away from him.
concerning. And lonely, he finds out, when Otabek smiles at him apologetically
that night and says he’d rather sleep in his own hotel room for the rest of
their time in France for the Grand Prix Finals. He doesn’t get much sleep that
night. And when he sees Otabek yawning and rubbing his eyes the next day, he
knows he isn’t the only one.
honestly i couldn’t fucking help myself and i caved, writing this shitty ass imagine or whatever alright? and yes i am tom holland trash and he owns me blah blah so idk enjoy
“What do you mean you don’t want to go?” You shrugged, going back to sorting out your outfit for tomorrow’s tourist day. “Love, we’re in Japan! Come hang out with us!” You pulled your wrist out of his hold and walked farther away from him, heading toward the other side of the bed. Tom’s confused expression turned into him nodding. “You’re still mad at me, I guess?” You shrugged again, loving the irritation growing in his voice from your lack of interest in what he was saying. Tom groaned, letting his head fall back and his fingers push his hair back. “Fine,” he mumbled, walking into the bathroom to grab a towel and pulling a plain white shirt on, “you can stay here and, when you’re done pouting, you can meet us by the pool.” You ignored his last attempt at getting you to talk to him, frowning at the sound of the door closing.
Tom and you had arrived to Japan already in bad moods toward each other. Due to Tom’s lack of sleep, he was increasingly more irritated than he usually was. You tried your hardest not to blame him - you knew how hectic his schedule was. Whenever he’d snap at you, you’d give him his space or he’d immediately apologize. This time, however, Tom had snapped at you in front of Harry, Harrison and Jon. You had been begging him to take you to this Japanese store you had read about online - teas, herbs, candles. Tom had finally - you assumed - had enough of your constant asking and ‘whining’ and finally answered your request with a 'jesus, babe! If we have the time, we’ll fucking go, alright? Can you let it go now?’ and after seeing the lack of remorse on his face and having to see the sympathetic glances the other boys gave you, you decided to remain quiet and keep to yourself. Tom hadn’t noticed until a few hours after you had landed - after the interview, really. He tried to apologize after, but your pride kept you quiet as you obliged to his request of 'letting it go’.
You had finished picking out your wardrobe for tomorrow sight-seeing day with Harry and decided to scroll through your phone. You had placed your phone on silent and hadn’t heard the notification that Tom had sent you. You opened the text, seeing he had sent you a picture.
You rolled your eyes at the caption, but couldn’t stop yourself from admiring the way your boyfriend looked in the picture. Your eyes trailed over every drop of water that looked strategically placed all over his chest, his skin tone looking a little darker from actually basking in the sun during the summer. Your eyes then traveled to his face: his jawline sharpened as he clenched it, the creases by his mouth, his eyes almost looking as if he were challenging you - teasing you. Your eyes traveled up just a little further, taking in the way his hair looked wet. It was quite possibly your favorite thing about him - if you could pick just one, his hair wet after a shower or drenched in sweat after the gym made you want to run your fingers through it, combing them through it and hearing his guttural groans from the satisfaction it gave him.
You sighed, realizing you both were wasting your time together not speaking. Summer was almost over and you’d have to go back home, leaving him for a few months while he was shooting. You pulled out the swimsuit you packed and headed to the bathroom to change. Once you were dressed, you picked up a towel and slipped on your sandals, heading toward the elevator to take you to the lobby, where the pool was. You noticed the immense lack of people. Besides Tom, Harrison and Harry, there were only three other people inside - the other three people heading out toward the spa and away from the pool.
“Look who decided to join us!” You held your hands up in mock celebration and set your towel down on one of the lounge chairs. You felt arms wrap around you from behind and you relaxed under the cold touch, despite the inside of you feeling on fire from the contact. Tom’s lips met your shoulder, placing light kisses from the back of your shoulder to your neck.
“I’m sorry,” he turned you around, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you close to him. “I was dick, I shouldn’t have snapped at you.” You shook your head, letting your hand come up to push his wet hair back.
“It’s okay, Tom,” you whispered, reaching to kiss him. “I knew you were tired - you didn’t mean it. I’m not saying it’s an excuse, but I get why it happened.” You shrugged, your hands softly landing on his chest, feeling the cool water against them. “You look really good right now,” you whispered, not wanting his younger brother and best friend to hear you - even if they weren’t paying any attention to you. “Too good for me not to want you to take me,” you leaned into his ear, “right. here.” You felt his muscles tense under your touch as his grip around your waist tightened.
“You can’t say shit like that to me, and then not expect me to act on it.” His tone sounded warning, his head leaning to the right to kiss your jaw.
“That was the idea.” You shrugged, letting your hands slip lower, resting on the top of his trunks. His hands gripped yours, stopping you from going any further. “I think I have to go to the bathroom,” you announced loudly, winking at Tom, a silent invitation to join you. Harrison and Harry mumbled a quiet 'whatever’ with a shrug before going back to figure out who could hold their breath underwater longer. “Maybe, in a few minutes, you’ll have to go, too?” You asked, quieter than your earlier announcement. You were already walking backwards, smiling as Tom’s lips lifted into a smirk.
Harry smiled as he looked down at his mom on her wedding day as they were swaying back and forth on the dance floor. Anne smiled at her son but couldn’t help but notice that Harry’s eyes would glance over to his beautiful best friend sitting down at a table. She noticed whenever they caught each other’s gaze, they would blush and look away. “Harry” Anne spoke up, interrupting Harry’s staring. “Yes, mum?” Harry asked, his eyebrows quirking up. Anne smiled and placed her hand on his cheek. “Promise me that you’ll marry that girl someday.” Harry looked back over towards you. You had your hand placed over your mouth as you laughed at something his little cousin told you. Harry smiled and looked down before he looked into his mother’s eyes. “I promise.”
Growing up, you always thought having the “perfect ending” and “finding the one” was a total cliche. Whenever your friends described kissing their significant other, they would always describe the feeling of being on top of the world. You never believed that you would find someone who would be able to give you that feeling. You never believed that someone’s lips would be able to give you that much reassurance.
Until Harry kissed you.
As Harry’s lips met yours, you finally knew what everyone was talking about. Kissing Harry made you feel like you could take on the world. This kiss alone made you feel like all your worries and all your stress suddenly vanished into thin air. Kissing Harry felt right.
Slowly, you wrapped your arms around Harry’s neck as you kissed him back. You could feel Harry’s lips quirking into a smile as he kissed you. He wrapped his arms around your waist, trying to pull you closer as if he couldn’t bare to have you and further away from him.
When Harry kissed you, his best friend, he felt sparks. His lips felt like they were on fire. Never has he ever felt this way whenever he kissed Kimberly. It was in this kiss Harry knew that you were it for him. It was in this kiss did he realize just how in love with you he was.
What felt like an eternity, you finally pulled away. Both you and Harry were panting from the kiss. With closed eyes, Harry smiled as he rested his forehead against yours. A moment of silence passed between the two of you before Harry finally spoke up, “I can’t believe I waited so long to do that.”
You stepped out of Harry’s hold, wrapping your arms around yourself, suddenly feeing so ashamed. You shook your head as you whispered, “That was wrong, Harry.” As much as you loved the kiss and no matter how magical it felt, you were with Lucas and until the divorce was final, Harry was still married. You could literally see all the color from Harry’s face drain. You could see nothing but horror on his face as he backed into the wall behind him. You watched as his eyes took you in. It was like he was trying to understand the million thoughts going through your mind. You avoided eye contact with him as you stared at the ground, your eyes welling up with tears once again.
Suddenly Harry whispered, “But I love you, Y/N.”
You placed your hand over your mouth as you tried to choke back a sob that was trying to rip its way out of your body.
Harry slowly stepped closer to you. “It’s been a year since you told me you loved me, Y/N. Please, I need to hear you say it again. Please.”
When Harry was met with silence, he wiped his eyes. He looked down at his fidgeting fingers. “Do you still love me, Y/N?”
You looked up at Harry. As much as you wanted to scream out how much of an idiot he was and that of course you still loved him, you couldn’t. As much as you wanted to tell him that you don’t think you’ll ever stop loving him, you didn’t. Instead you said something you instantly regretted, “I fell in love with Lucas.”
You watched as Harry gasp for air. You watched as he placed his hand over where his heart was as if you actually broke it in pieces. You sniffed before you whispered, “I’m sorry, H.” Quickly, you walked back into the restaurant.
Harry placed his head in his hands as he dropped down to the floor. He brought his knees up to his chest as he cried the hardest he’s ever cried. Not giving a flying fuck who saw. Harry felt broken. Not only did he miss the opportunity to be with the love of his life, he lost his best friend.
You stared down at your lap as you sat in a silent uber with Lucas. Lucas was staring out of the window, not daring to say a word. He didn’t have to see Harry but he knew he was there tonight. He also knew that he was the reason why you had tear stained cheeks. Lucas glanced at you before he sighed. He took your hand in his. “Y/N? Do you want to talk about what happened tonight?”
You looked down at Lucas’s hand holding yours. You couldn’t help but think about how you felt absolutely nothing for this sweet man in front of you. You tried so hard to think about spending a future with Lucas. You thought Lucas was your chance of finally being happy. But after seeing Harry? After kissing Harry? You knew what you had to. You looked up at Lucas’s eyes filled with nothing but concern. You sighed before you whispered, “I can’t be with you anymore, Lucas.”
Lucas let go of your hand. Staring at his lap, he let out an, “Oh.” You shook your head as you inched closer to him. You placed your hand on his knee. “I can’t be the girl you need, Lucas. You’re so sweet and so caring. I don’t deserve you.”
Lucas nodded as he placed his hand on top of yours. “It’s okay, Y/N. I understand.” You leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Suddenly the car pulled in front of your apartment building. You thanked the uber driver and said a goodbye to Lucas before you got out of the car. You started to walk inside until Lucas called out your name. He had the window rolled down as he said, “I hope you get your happy ending with him one day, Y/N.”
You smiled. This boy really was something special. You knew he would make someone feel so happy one day. “I’ll see you at the wedding tomorrow.” You said before you made your way inside.
You let out a yawn as you stepped off the elevator, a tray of coffee in your hand. Whenever you closed your eyes, all you saw was Harry’s crying face. Guilt consumed your body as you thought about the lie you told Harry. You knew there was no way that you could fix it. You knew this was officially the end of an era. You sighed, hoping the makeup artist Emma hired for today will be able to conceal a broken heart. You knocked on Emma’s door before Olivia, another bridesmaid, opened the door for you. You gave her a small smile and hug before you walked into the hotel room.
Emma and Niall decided to have their wedding at one of the most beautiful hotels London had to offer, Hotel ZaZa. They both rented a room dedicated to the groomsmen to get ready and a room for the bridesmaids to get ready.
Emma’s eyes lit up as soon as she saw you. She walked over to you and gave you a hug before she grabbed the coffee tray out of your hands. “Y/N! Just in time, it’s your turn to get your makeup done.” You nodded as you sat in front of the makeup artist. The other two bridesmaids were sitting on the other side of the room getting their hair done. Emma sat down on the bed across from you. She noticed how quiet you were as the makeup artist was having at it on your face. “I saw you and Harry out on the patio last night.” Emma whispered softly. She saw the moment you pulled away from Harry after the kiss. She saw how Harry crumbled to the floor as you fled the scene. You glanced at Emma before you looked away.
“Do you want to talk about it softly?” Emma asked. You shook your head as the makeup artist was grabbing a brush. “No. It’s your wedding day. We should be focusing on you right now.” You smiled softly at Emma. “Are you ready to become Mrs. Horan?”
You smiled your best smile as you walked down the aisle. You looked straight ahead to see a very nervous Niall smiling at you. As you walked to where the other bridesmaids were standing, you mouthed to him, “You got this.”
Suddenly an instrumental version of “A Thousand Years” started to play, signaling the bride was coming. You smiled as you saw Emma walking down with her father. You remember when Emma told you that she wanted to walk down to this song, you thought it was silly. You thought it was a total cliche. But after seeing Emma smiling down at her husband to be with tears on both their faces, you knew this song was perfect for him. You truly knew they would love each other for thousands of years.
Finally the time came for Niall and Emma to say their vows to each other. You noticed Niall’s trembling fingers as he reached inside his suit pocket to grab his paper. He took a deep breath before he looked into Emma’s eyes.
“Emma, when I met you a year ago, I knew you were going to be the girl I married. After our second date, I promised myself that I would never hurt you. I promised that I will always be the one to make you laugh whenever you’re upset, to be the one that holds your hand when you need someone to talk to, and to be the one that you can call your best friend. The more that I’m with you, the more I forget the feeling of being lonely.”
As Harry was listening to Niall’s vows, he couldn’t help but look at you. God, he thought. You looked absolutely gorgeous. How was it that everyone’s eyes were on the bride but he couldn’t take his eyes off you? You were stunning. Harry’s eyes started to well with tears as he stared at his best friend. He couldn’t help but think that the next wedding you were going to be at would be your own with Lucas.
Emma cleared her throat before she promised her vows to Niall, “Niall Horan, I have never met someone that makes me laugh as much as you do. Never have I ever found someone that I can truly be myself with. You make me forget all of my troubles in the world and I could never thank you enough for that. I promise to always choose you. Whenever things get hard and whenever you need someone to talk to, I will be your best friend. I will be your wife.”
You wiped away a tear as you looked out into the guests. Immediately you were able to find Harry’s green eyes. You noticed how Harry was tearing up as he was staring back at you. You couldn’t help but think these were the kind of vows you always pictured yourself saying to Harry. You couldn’t get Harry off your mind.
“I now pronounce you husband and wife. Niall, you may kiss your bride.”
Emma smiled gratefully at you as she washed her hands. “Thank you so much, Y/N. I knew going to the restroom was going to be hard but I didn’t think it was going to be that hard.” You let out a chuckle as you were washing your own hands. Emma was practically begging you to help her pee while she was in her dress during dinner. How could you say no to the bride?
“No problem at all, love.” You replied as you dried your hands. You were about to walk out the restroom when you noticed Emma wasn’t following. You closed the door and turned around to see Emma staring off into space.
“Em? You ready?” You asked. Emma looked back at you and smiled. She pulled you into a hug. Confused, you returned the hug. Emma pulled away from the hug and pulled you over to the lounge area of the restroom. She sat on one of the couches and you followed after her. Emma grabbed your hand in hers. “Y/N. Even though I’ve known you for less than a year, I can happily say you’re one of my best friends.”
You smiled, “You’re my best friend too, Em.” Emma smiled before she continued, “In my relationship with Niall, you’ve been nothing but supportive. You’ve supported our love for each other from the start and I will always remain grateful. That’s why, as your best friend, I want nothing but you to be happy. And I know that being happy means being with Harry.”
You were about to object but Emma shook her head no. “When I saw you guys last night, it was obvious how much you guys loved each other. Anyone could clearly see that. When I saw you guys kiss, I was rooting for the two of you. I really was. Harry, he’s a good guy. And you deserve nothing but that. It broke my heart when I saw you run away. And when I saw how devastated Harry was? I thought that was it. I had to get you guys to understand that you guys had to come together, not run away. I know he’s hurt you. But you’ve hurt him too. Talk to him, make things right, allow yourself to be happy.”
By the end of Emma’s speech, you had her pulled into a tight hug. Emma smiled as she hugged you back. You pulled back from the hug as you smiled at Emma. “Thank you for that.”
Harry was sitting down at his assigned table, an untouched plate of food in front of him. He was watching Emma and her dad sharing their father-daughter dance until he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned his head to find you standing behind him.
“H? Can we talk?”
thank you guys so much for reading! i’ve been getting nothing but sweet and kind messages about this series and when the next part was going to be posted. i hope i did everyones justice! lol i love hearing from you guys! definitely let me know what you guys thought/ want to see happen next! all the love, t.
A bone deep confidence both of them feel that this is their person, that this is the person who will always listen to what they have to say, who will challenge them, who will help them push their boundaries and hold them accountable, but also understand when they’re at their breaking point.
The fact that they recharge each other. That their definition of being alone is being together, alone. The world is exhausting, their world especially with all of it’s mixed praise and critique, expectation, obligation. But their retreat is sitting on a sofa binge watching a television show and eating pizza.
That they have the same ideology, essentially, but enough differences to still make for heated discussion. That they are the same, but also not.
That they can reach each other so well; that they know each other so thoroughly, and yet somehow still seem fascinated when the other talks. Their endless capacity for wanting to hear what the other says.
That they share each other’s interests even when the interests aren’t mutual. That Dan will let Phil goad him into the silliest of challenges, will sit through every movie that was formative to Phil as a child and be fully invested. That Phil will sit in the room while Dan watches racing, or go to an exhibit with him despite not caring the least bit about those things.
That it’s been going on eight years and even visible to an audience of outside observers, they flirt. Cute and coy, little pokes and prods, grins meant only for each other, a finger twisting through a curl of hair, a shriek of delight at something the other suggests. The side of them that is kisses and touches and mornings in bed and nights under the covers isn’t a side we’re supposed to see, but enough of the suggestion is there.
That they support each other. They voluntarily built this career together, and it’s almost a shame that we don’t see more of their individual pursuits because Dan and Phil being each other’s number one fan is a vital part of that confidence building between them. Phil gushing about Dan’s documentary, bringing Dan on stage for the BONCAS. But we see it most often lately on a smaller scale - minor victories celebrate in a way that is proud and pleased and radiating something intangible but beautiful.
That their goals in life have shifted seamlessly together. Once upon a time, Dan talked so excitedly about Phil getting his own place and Dan being able to dump all of his stuff there. That was the first stepping stone down a cobbled pathway that’s led to this: their goals set high, a forever house and a dog and whatever other plans they have that haven’t leaked through the cracks in the wall they place between us and them.
BTS reaction- how would they sleep with you (only a little smut-ish)
this turned out both extremely cute and a little bit well…
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Enjoy!
Jin would be the type to either smother you against him or let you have your space. Always the big spoon. Super cuddly after( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), likes to bury his face in your neck~ doesn’t snore that much, loves when you lay on top of him or curl into him, he finds it adorable.
There are two types of Yoongi, either he is curled in a ball around you, his face nuzzled into your hair, or he’s curled in a ball and you’re asleep on the other side of the bed. After ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) he would also be super cuddly, almost suffocating you to a point. Cute little snores, and then you wondering if he’s ok cause he is in such a deep sleep he doesn’t move.
He would like you close at all times. Even if you two slept in different sides on the bed he would still need some part of him touching you. He would have the cutest little sleeping face (squeals thinking about it) after ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) He would kiss your face, lips, nose, neck, I mean hell he would be completely innocent despite what he just did to you
Big. Spoon. Always. Never is the small spoon, that’s a foreign concept to him. He might also like it if you slept on top of him, your head against his chest~ after ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) this boy would be all over you making sure you are comfortable, considering he probably doesn’t know limits
Depends on his mood, he’s always cuddly but sometimes he would like to be the small spoon. He would give you your space if you needed it but would love when you snuggle up to him. After ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) he would be a small cuddle baby, probably giggling and blushing and giving you soft kisses. He would probably pout in his sleep and maybe drool a little~
This boy would cuddle you even if it was so hot you were sweating, always needing to be close to you. Big spoon or little spoon he likes both. If you’re the little spoon he would probably “innocently” grab your breast or thigh, innocent right? After ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) he would be all smiles and his innocence would shine through, which still confused you considering he was completely different that he was a few moments before. Snores, loud snores, and drool, but he’s so cute it doesn’t matter
He would be like Yoongi, super cuddly or on the complete opposite side of the bed. Says he likes being the big spoon but secretly loves it when he is the small spoon. After ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) he would be smug but also a small cuddly baby. He loves when you lay your head on his chest. Cute little nose scrunched in his sleep, bed head as well. Small snores and cute little giggles when he dreams too.
Request: BTS teasin you while you talk with friends/family
Warning: explicit content, daddy issue
A/N: I’ve done the reverse one :) - Li
It was just when the food got ready that your phone started buzzing in the living room. It was no other than one for your boy best friends. He usually never called if it wasn’t urgent. So you picked up. Lost in the conversation, 20 minutes passed by. Suddenly, a gentle hand started playing on your hip, making you look in shock at Jin who was quietly smirking to himself. His hand got higher ad higher until it dissapeared underneath the shirt, his shirt, and played just between your hips, making friction impossible and arousal unbearable. A pair of plump lips stuck themselves to you ear whispering “Whoever comes for dinner first get’s desert first. And by the look of it, it won’t be you. Such a waste for the delicious pleasure that my dessert it. Hang up.”
A normal day at the studio except for the fact that Yoongi was extremly touchy today. He was grummpy and anything and everything could make the ticking bomb that he was explode. But not in normal people manners. No. In quiet and almost evil way. So when your best friend called, the bomb blew off, whitout you knowing. Your hand was yanked towards Yoongi, you fell on his lap and boy attacked your neck, while you tried to keep up the useless conversation. “If you hang up now, I’ll have you screaming in five minutes and hope your best friend enjoys such porn because I won’t stop.”
Namjoon was from the people that once had a goal in their life this goal was unbreakable and sure to be reched. And his newest one was to drive you insane. While talking wiht your mum, he’ll slowly sneak his hands around your waist, kiss your neck, while one of his hands gently caresses your inner thigh. Your mum was telling you about her recent vacation but Namjoon raspy voice managed to distract you. “If you hang up now, Daddy will treat you some extra time.”
Hobi was having the time of his life taking his revenge on you. You thought you’ll get away with you teasing Hobi, but of cours not. Talking to your brother, Hoseok plotted his revenge. Starting off slowly, he bite your ear, under your jaw, your neck, leaving love bites all over it. Your brother quickly caught up to the strange noises you were making and started asking, so Hoseok took the phone,answering for you “She can’t talk now. Call in about…tomorrow.”
Jimin is either the kinkiest daddy around or the biggest fluff bear to ever walk the ground. It seemed as if today was the latter s you didn’t mind him too much whne your favourite cousin called to check up on you. You knew he’ll be a little whiny about you talking on the phone for so long, but honestly, he’ll suvive it. Or so you thought. Truth was Jimin got bored of the sweet, cute whiny Chim chim, seeing he didn’t work, so that meant papi Jimin was in charge. Taking the phone and throwing it on the other side of the bed, Jimin pushed you on the mattress and hovered above you. “Shall I neglect you, like you neglected me? On the verge of cumming, but not really, huh princess? Hang up. Fast.”
It was just a game for Taehyung. A game of nerves. You two made a bet, that no matter what happens, you can always listen to the person talking to you. Taehyung doubled the bet, calling your dad. And just when you thought you had the bet figured out, Taehyung pushed you on your back and started biting your thighs, until his hot breath reached the area of intrest and in that moment you lost. Hanging up fast and pulling Taehyung to you. “You lost. Now you’re mine. Your body is mine.”
He liked public punishments for some reason and that’s why when you overstepped his rules without him overstepping yours, he had a punishment ready. Throwing first you and then your phone on the bed, he told you to call your mother. You were bafled by the request, but did it. When your mother picked up, you started a hesitent conversation with her trying to keep up with Jungkook. And he soon attacked. Straight to the teasing. Kissing, licking, biting,while your mother was oblivious to the situation.
They met in a very dreamy way, almost surreal come to think about it. She didn’t in any way fit in what the media pictured as the beautiful bombshell. She was… ordinary.
So when she was invited to a brunch by a friend who happened to be somewhat famous for modeling a certain lingerie label, she was thrilled. Someone as ordinary as I am, she thought.
She was excited as she scanned the beautiful garden filled with beautiful decorations and beautiful people, somehow too extravagant for such event called brunch. Her friend had long gone after gulping countless amount of liquor that made her laugh way too much under the daylight so she decided to stay where she was left and enjoy the white flowers decorating the table.
“This isn’t lily,” she mumbled to herself as she smelled one of the flowers in the glass vase.
“You’re right, ’s not,” a voice startled her, “’s frangipani. It looks like lily but ’s a li’l different.”
She smiled coyly, hiding her excitement, conscious of who’s talking to her right there and then.
When she heard a knock on the apartment door, she was just making a cup of tea for her friend. Her friend was back from a weekend modeling gig and couldn’t be more exhausted. When she opened the door, she was surprised to see the frangipani boy stood towering her height with a smile that showcased his dimples.
“Hi,” he rested his hands behind his body, a gesture she noticed often made.
“H-Hi,” she was still taken aback to see him by the hallway.
She told him she lived at her friend’s — who happened to be his friend as well — this summer but she wasn’t expecting him to come visit or anything. She was just ordinary, he wouldn’t come for her.
“Come in, I’ll get Nina for you,” she smiled and as she turned around to call her friend, her movement was halted by a grip on her wrist.
“I didn’t come to see Nina,” he almost chuckled seeing her blushed.
“Huh?” “I come to see you.”
“What? Why?” She raised an eyebrow, pure confusion lingering on her face.
“Because I want to,” he said not letting go of her fingers under his hold.
Over the course of six months, she thought Harry was the one. He made it far too easy for an ordinary girl who had very little experience with love life to fall too hard for him. He didn’t keep this relationship as a secret, something that was very much terrifying but also sweet in the terms of him being proud to be with someone like her. How his hand grabbed her arms and how he sneaked a kiss every here and there, not even caring when the paps were around… She was whipped.
So when the calendar marked their seventh month of being together, she thought she’d fly to London to surprise him. It tickled her a little because she had never been a good surprise to anyone before since she always assumed she was never really expected by anyone and not at all in a bad way. It’s just she had never been this deep and invested in a relationship that it made her believe that she was wanted.
The other thing that really bothered her was the fact that he didn’t proceed to make any further move on the relationship. They were just going on dates and making out. He didn’t even give her the spare key to his apartment and rarely stayed the night. Hell, he didn’t even introduce her to his family. But she thought he was just taking his time.
However, she still couldn’t help but wonder if this relationship was going somewhere because she was in love with him. She just hoped this surprise would show him how much he meant to her.
She should know better when she timidly entered his studio. She asked Jeff for the spare key the other day and he gave her hesitantly. She didn’t mind about it too much though: maybe he was really trying to guarantee his security, she thought.
She rested behind the half-opened door as she heard a conversation between him and his sister via the phone. Gemma’s voice was on speaker while Harry strummed his guitar every now and then. His head rested on the cushion of the black leather couch. He looked very much soft and beautiful, she wanted to just run to hug him but she held back when she heard her name mentioned during the call.
“Mum would love to see Y/N,” Gemma insisted.
“Can’t,” he answered shortly while humming a song of his.
She felt nervous about eavesdropping and the way he talked about her but she couldn’t just bust in at this point. Her curiosity only grew so she decided to stay.
“She seemed lovely, H.”
“Gem-“ Harry exhaled a long heavy breath, “We’re not together.”
Her breath choked as she waited for another sentence to explain the last one.
“Jeff told me to date her. Said ’s a good image to date a normal person — you know, not a model and such.”
“What?” Gemma was just as surprised as she was, “What are you talking about?”
Harry put down his guitar and straightened up his posture to clarify his following words, “I do not want her, just doing it for the job.”
The spare key she was holding dropped, earning Harry to look her way. Her eyes were watering at the point but she remained quiet about the subject.
“Y/N?!” Harry was surprised and mumbled call you later while disconnecting his phone call as quickly as he could, “How long have you been there?”
She stepped back as he drew himself nearer to her, “I-I think I should leave.”
She immediately found her way to exit the building. The cold winter air waved through her as she tightened her coat and held back the tears that already streamed down. Harry ran to chase her and could finally keep up, steadying himself in front of her to block her way.
“Y/N,” he said half panting. He didn’t even get the chance to grab a coat. Shivering and exhausted from running, he looked at her. To his disappointment, she didn’t even look at him. She just stared at her shoes.
It just made sense to her now: why he didn’t do certain things during their relationship, why his behaviour was so different after he got her, why he just tried to snog her instead of holding her in a loving snuggle, why he didn’t bother telling her where he was going if she didn’t ask him first, why he only became extremely romantic when there were people around. It all made perfect sense.
An uncomfortable silence filled the windy air of London. He didn’t know what to say and she didn’t know what to expect.
She brushed past him to break the silence, not wanting to know anything else that might further her pain. She wasn’t even mad, she was just hurt.
She moved right along and Harry could only stand there, wishing he could just do something. Anything.
She spent the night at a cheap hotel in London. All her savings were drained for this trip considering she didn’t have a lavish job with mouth watering pay. She really was ordinary.
It took her a long time to actually feel fine about her ordinary self and it was all gone with one simple sentence from Harry. She was back to square one again.
Harry tried to call her several times after that day, to say sorry she’d reckon but she didn’t want to answer. He would just say he felt awful and that wouldn’t change the fact that he hurt her if anything he would just cause more pain. After a while, he stopped calling. She knew he wouldn’t try harder because who would fight for something they didn’t want anyway?
She tried to move on with her life but after a headline of Harry’s umpteenth supermodel conquest, she broke down again. Of course, he didn’t want her, she was far too ordinary compared to successful models with amazing physique.
Sometimes she couldn’t help but wonder if she ever crossed his mind for just one split second. Sometimes she wondered if he could at least feel something. Anything.
Harry should feel fine, right? He said it himself that he didn’t want her. But he couldn’t help but feel miserable.
“You’re just feeling guilty, that’s all,” Jeff told him from time to time.
Harry nodded. He agreed, it was just the guilt eating him up for a while and he was sure it’d be gone with time.
But as much as he wanted to believe it, he couldn’t help but feel strange. He missed the texts asking him where he was, the hot cup of tea she usually made when he was tired, the stroke on his hair when he felt stressed. He missed those. Or was he just missing the attention?
He reached the bare skin on the other side of his bed and looked over, and for one split second he wished it was her. She never slept bare next to him, he didn’t bother to touch her during their relationship but never a single complain spilled from her mouth although he knew damn well how longing she was to express her love and to be loved. She was so understanding, too understanding at times.
He should be happy that this whole scheme was finally over. He should be. But why was he wondering where she was and who’s holding her now? He got a beautiful girl next to him, the one that he wanted but he didn’t feel the warmth she used to radiate on him.
He didn’t realize just how ridiculously kindhearted she was: how she would tell him “I’m sure you’d rock” every morning he had something big coming up, how she would never protest when he chose to hangout with friends instead of her, how she would patiently wait when he said he’d come over and not even got angry when he suddenly canceled.
He found his hand roaming over her name on his phone contact. He wanted to talk to her, to hear her voice but any words coming from his mouth didn’t seem to deserve her listening. He let out a heavy sigh: it was just the guilt, Harry, he thought to himself.
Another six months had gone by and by now she wasn’t as miserable as she was. She was able to get on with her life but the pain didn’t leave her the same. She couldn’t trust anyone who wanted her for who she was and any attempt of new relationship was immediately shut down with the unknowingly huge walls she built around herself.
She had just finished working that day and after some grocery shopping, she had planned to spend the whole evening with herself and some books. She walked calmly through her narrow hallway of her apartment but stopped as soon as she saw a figure sitting curled up by her apartment door. By his position, she could assume he had already waited for a while.
Harry looked up at her and stood up so quickly as if he was caught off guard.
“Y/N,” was all he managed to say.
“Why are you here?” her voice was weak and shaking.
Harry ran his hand through his hair and just shook his head, “I miss yeh.”
They stood there for God knows how long until she decided to slip her key to open her door and closed it. He was fast to hold the door open.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
She didn’t answer. Being with her for a period of time, albeit a lie, was enough for him to know that silence was her way to cope.
And so he continued, “Can we start over?”
She looked up at him for the first time and he could see all the pain he caused her beneath the teary eyes. He felt an unfamiliar stinging feeling on his chest seeing her in that state of pain.
“Did Jeff tell you to do so?” her lips trembled.
“No!” He was quick to answer, “No… It has nothing to do with him. God, Y/N, I just… I miss you and I can’t—“
Harry moved closer to her only for her to step back. The stinging feeling was spreading through his whole body. The girl who was so devoted to him was now afraid of him and he cursed himself every day for that.
“I love you,” the words slipped his mouth and she jolted.
She shook her head, “You can’t love someone you don’t want, Harry.”
“Just please, tell me how to fix this.”
“I don’t know…” she wiped her tear-stained cheeks with her nervous hands, “I don’t know.”
Summary:Bucky’s forgotten many facets of being human, from kindness to sharing a touch. There’s something about you, however, that’s been resurrecting a piece of his old self, a piece of a man that wasn’t afraid of the human touch, of a man that craved it.
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
A/N: This is for Carolina’s prompt game! Congrats on 7k, Caro! I also wanna thank Kumi’s bitch ass for helping me with some smol mistakes in this! Thanks friendo!
Bucky Barnes has difficulty in remembering the times when he knew that the human touch wasn’t so bad.
The quick pace of his new life as an Avenger distracts him from the fact that he doesn’t know himself too well, either. Bucky knows that his real name is James Buchanan Barnes, he knows his dead sister’s name was Rebecca, and he knows that Steve Rogers used to be a good friend of his, but he has no clue who he is, who he was.
It is a cruel fact of his life that is cruel that haunts him day in and day out.
He tries, though. He tires himself out trying to remember what it used to feel like to be human. No, not just human; he tries to remember what it used to feel like to be a human that could feel something other than cool grief, a human that could yearn the human touch, one that could feel something akin to warmth.
Warmth is such a foreign notion to Bucky.
Therefore, when he first meets you and he feels something tender and warm blossoming in the pit of his nervous belly, he can’t help but revere you indefinitely.
He does so with bashful glances when you’re not looking.
It’s odd, really. Steve always told you Bucky used to be quite the talker and quite the charming young man.
But, then again, that was back then, back in a time where humanity still couldn’t fathom the idea of greedy hands controlling a terrified young man’s mind.
So, you don’t think much of Steve’s friend’s serious demeanor. You reason that it isn’t so easy to be all that happy after being tortured and controlled by the likes of HYDRA.
You don’t take it so personally when Bucky gives you nothing more than one-word or two-word answers. It’s efficient enough that he gets his point across, but it leaves you wanting a little more.