other side of medicine

Try

This is Part Five in “Together”

Pairing: Jensen x Reader x Jared
Words:  1286

Read “Needy”
Read “Deserving”
Read “Loving”
Read “Vacation”


A/N: The “Our Girl” series will be back after the first 6 parts of “Together,” but I’m not taking anymore requests for it.
A/N2: If you want to be tagged in anything, just let me know.



           You were lying on the couch, not being able to make it up the stairs to the bedroom. You had tried to make Jensen and Jared go upstairs to bed, but they both were on the floor, sleeping next to the couch so they could be near you.

           You were racking your brain, trying to remember what happened after you went for the walk on the beach that night. You had no idea. You remembered leaving the house, walking barefoot on the cooled sand, and just taking in all of your surroundings. But that was it. You didn’t remember seeing anyone else or being stabbed.

           Maybe it was one of those things where your brain was blocking out the traumatic event. But you wanted to be able to identify who did it and why. They were still out there. And that thought sent you into a panic.

           You couldn’t breathe. And the harder you tried, the more your injury hurt. You didn’t want to wake the guys up, but you knew you had to.

           You reached down, finding one of their hands. You didn’t have to say anything. He jolted up, “What’s wrong, Y/N?” Jared asked.

           “Still out there,” you said.

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Sick Island. (Edward Nygma x Reader)

Originally posted by gothamfox

Edward taking care of sick girlfriend.


Through the night Y/N’s coughing and the aching, burning fever troubled her between her dreams. She would toss and turn there in the cool dark listening to the faint snores coming from her lover sleeping next to her.

Edward Nygma was sleeping away, but it would not come then though usually she drifted off to the sound of music playing in the background, but all she could hear was Nygma’s snores and the car horns coming from outside the city.

it wasn’t so hard to wake up Edward whenever the bed shifted a bit. He was really sensitive, so when Y/N sat up to grab her glass of water, he groans a bit and rubs his groggy eyes. “Honey?”

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Jacob Frye x Reader: Healing wounds

Originally posted by ficthepainaway


[[The fourth part of Jacob’s Love Letter. Imagine Jacob staying by your side as you attempt to recover from your own injury from the last imagine. Enjoy, my lovelies~! Thanks for the idea and continued support~!]]

Your name: submit What is this?

You had damned yourself to suffer. Just stabbing yourself in the stomach was causing constant pain that wouldn’t end and blood to soak your nightgown and Jacob’s own clothes and hand. He was trying so hard to stop the bleeding, but it seemed relentless given the massive wound you gave yourself willingly.

Constantly, you struggled to stay conscious, but even after awhile of Jacob’s yelling and shaking you in his weak attempts to keep you focused, nothing felt as though it would work, and you began to encounter blackout periods.

Bits and pieces rattled in the back of your mind, but nothing you said or did rang as vividly as other memories during your struggle.

The carriage…Jacob yelling for you to stay with him…then the hospital building coming ever so closely into view as the Assassin tried with all his might to get you help. He had stopped right at the door and banged upon its wooden surface with such fervor that you thought for sure it would break from what you could vaguely remember.

Maybe you said something, or perhaps you whined your discontent with the pain still numbing your body, for Jacob turned to settle you so. “I know; I know!” He was breathless from the running he had been doing, and his face easily conveyed how panicked and worry stricken he was from the unforeseen act prior.

Since the nurses were taking awhile to answer him, you remember him kneeling down to the ground with your body still cradled in his arms. His blooded hand to your face to check on you, he looked you over with concern wrinkling his brow before you saw the doors open at that moment and a gowned nurse appeared—taking Jacob’s attention from you quickly.

Blacked out…again…all you could remember were distorted and distant voices.

“What’s all this then!” exclaimed the faceless woman in the back of your mind.

“She stabbed herself—in the stomach!” came Jacob’s voice shortly after.

“Goodness…! Should she not be at the asylum then?”

NO!” bellowed Jacob as you felt the pain trigger anew as he was no doubt moving you about at this point. “She’s bloody reckless—not crazy! Just help her, dammit!”

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@jyuushimachuu “

 My muse is sick and won’t admit it. Send 🤒 to take care of them, whether they like it or not. “

 “ God. “ He let out a sneeze.


He sighed in  disgusted. It was nice for people to take care of him, but today wasn’t the day for people to barge in his house to sit by him.

-Jyu

He glanced to the side in their direaction, avoiding their eyes with sweaty palms and a pale forehead.

“ Look. “ He started in a low voice, “ Just don’t baby me with medicine. “

He tossed to the other side, giving them a sign of peace. 

“ Just let me sleep … “

Alliance, Ch. 7 - Cassian Andor x Reader

Pairing: Cassian Andor x Reader/OC, hints of Poe Dameron x Reader/OC, Slowburn

Summary: At the General’s will, a begrudging intelligence officer is paired off with a seemingly inexperienced Resistance pilot on a reconnaissance mission.

Ch. 1 - Ch. 2 - Ch. 3 - Ch. 4 - Ch. 5 - Ch. 6

Ao3 - Fanfiction.Net

[Reader Replacement Key: “Moira” - Your first name]


The burning had quickly turned into a chilling cold. It cut through her skin and penetrated her bones with a repugnant dampness she could not escape. Moira’s torso was soaked with blood, the heavy liquid seeping out around the gloved fingers as she pressed forcefully into the wound. She was losing precious drops with every step forward in Cassian’s arms.

My father, he was… a doctor,” she had told him. “His office… there’s still med supplies in it.”

It had been all he needed to hear before scooping her up and taking off back towards the compound - towards her childhood home. She could tell he was moving as fast as he could but the pain was substantial and made every moment drag.

“You’re a kriffing idiot,” he huffed, rounding a bend of trees. “You know that? Why did you do that? Why?”

She knew he was not searching for a response; that he was just venting his own frustrations with the situation, but she did not care. “I’ve never been – been shot before. Now I can… check it off… the list.”

Moira saw him flash a look down at her in the darkness, though she could not say whether it was out of incredulity or irritation.

“We’re almost there,” he told her, tone just as resolute. “Hold on.”

“The frequencies,” she breathed. “You should make sure… Kaytoo is – is getting them.”

He made a noise that very nearly sounded like laughter if not irater. “You don’t get shot and then start giving orders,” he murmured through his teeth. “That’s not how it works, Lieutenant.”

She wanted to respond but found her energy for such things quickly depleting. She settled for a thin smile. Her eyelids were heavy as she rested her head against Cassian’s arm. Darkness was very nearly on her when she was shaken back awake.

“Hey, Moira, stay with me. We’re here, okay? We’re here,” his voice was husky and apprehensive. She felt herself dip in his arms as he moved to type in the security code. And for at least a few moments, the sudden brightness of her home was jarring enough to keep her eyes open.

“Where?” Cassian demanded.

“Off my parents… room,” she pointed weakly ahead of them. “In – in the back.”

Cassian made off in that direction, pounding the opening mechanism with his elbow, lights switching on as they entered. The bedroom was less meticulous than the other rooms he had seen, but still had the edge of perfect preservation. Carefully, he set Moira down on the right side of the master bed. His eyes scanned the three additional doorways in the bedroom before following her gaze to the one closest to him.

“There… should be bacta patches… and Nyex, behind his – the desk,” she muttered.

“Keep putting pressure on it!” Cassian hissed, taking off through the doorway and into her father’s office.

The room was an overwhelming mess. Stacks of datapads and papers and books towered about the small room, each occasionally topped with varying pieces of medical equipment or crumpled notes. It was dark, seemingly only ever lit by a manual light that was too far out of Cassian’s way to bother with. He pushed through the jumble towards the large desk in the corner of the room, flinging open the set of cabinets mounted to the back wall. There were enough medical supplies within it to run a small practice. Cassian focused on what he needed, his eyes quickly finding their way to the familiar items. He grabbed the patches, the pain killer, an antiseptic, and a few other miscellaneous medicines before rushing back to Moira’s side.

She was dreadfully pale but she was still awake. Cassian sat down beside her on the bed, his legs hanging over the side as he looked over her. Moira’s eyes were wide and fearful as she gazed up at him; expression so raw and helpless that it was almost made him feel sick. With a careful acknowledgement, he removed her quivering hands from the wound, examining it for the first time in good light. The dark fabric of her shirt had frayed around it, leaving the wide and searing red area exposed. Thankfully the shot had missed the most sensitive organs, falling just beside her bellybutton. Cassian could only hope that it was not so deep as to unearth her intestinal track. The sudden image of a fellow Resistance spy laying disemboweled on cold steel flashed into his mind and Cassian did his best to suppress the memory. He would feel better once he removed the excess of blood and got a good look.

With adept hands, he took the remaining fabric of her shirt and ripped it open to the wound, rolling up what was left of it just beneath her breasts. He reached quickly for the stack of bacta patches, using the first just to soak up blood from the area – and there was a lot. But as the liquid cleared, he let out a breath. It was shallow.

“It looks mostly superficial,” he murmured, still analyzing the lesion. “Meant to wound, not to kill. I should be able to patch it up.”

There was the smallest, suffocated whimper as he took to it again. His eyes shot up to Moira who seemed near tears and rightfully terrified, blood dripping from her hands as she held them awkwardly before her.

Cassian frowned at the sad site, dropping the supplies to her side for just a moment. “Hey, it’s going to be okay,” he cooed. Cassian effortlessly slipped off the bloodied gloves from her hands and pushed Moira’s arms down to her sides, forcing her to relax. He then reached up towards her face and brushed away the wisps that had fallen into her eyes; his tenderness almost a surprise to him. He continued, moving to slide his hand behind her head, gently intertwining his fingers with her hair and rubbing a few small circles into her temple with his thumb. “It’s going to be okay,” he repeated to her, tone resilient and low like a prayer. “I’m going to take care of you. I owe you that much, don’t I?”

It was a moment before she gave him one of the weakest of smiles he had ever seen. But it was a smile nonetheless.

Cassian allowed himself to be caught up by his desire to comfort her for a moment more before remembering the Nyex. He quickly pulled away and fumbled the hypo-syringe into his hand while grasping one of her bloodied arms in his other. His eyes quickly found the ideal injection site in her prominent vein and Cassian rubbed the antiseptic quickly over spot. The needle was steady in his hand.  

“This should help the pain,” Cassian he told her before slowly injecting the liquid into her system.

“Yeah,” Moira murmured. “I know… what Nyex does.”

Cassian discarded the needle to floor and flickered his eyes back up to her for just a moment. He shook his head before returning to the wound.

Smug as her words were, they made Cassian feel better. If Moira was talking back to him, even just slightly, it had to be a good sign.

After a thorough and deep coat of antiseptic that seemed more painful than the wound itself, he started layering the bacta bandages. Cassian let the blood soak through each layer and absorb the medicine before adding another. It was an intricate process but one that he had seen succeed on other shallow wounds.  At first, blood fully consumed each bandage; then, slowly, it began to ease up.

“Oh… that’s right.”

Cassian looked up from his work to meet eyes with a dazed Moira.

“I just forgot how this stuff makes you feel,” she mumbled, her voice an offset monotone.

As he studied her face more thoroughly, Cassian realized the medicine was hitting her hard. The look of fear and anxiety had been replaced by a far more enigmatic expression. She was staring at him, plump lips just slightly agape, and a certain child-like wonder in her dilated eyes. The all-at-once dose he had given her was by no means dangerous, but it was definitely a lot more potent. It was normally distributed at intervals using an IV, but they had not had the time for that. It seemed Moira would just have to deal with the sudden high; Cassian thought it was probably the best thing to happen to her all day.

He heaved a relieved but exhausted chuckle. “So you’re feeling pretty great just about now, eh?”

She grinned back at him. “Yes, Captain.”

Cassian could not deny that the juxtaposition was peculiar; seeing her so suddenly pleasant after such a panicked couple of minutes was a bit shocking. But it brought a genuine smile to his face nonetheless. “I’m glad.”

“Huh. Three,” she muttered.

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Walk In Love~ Enzo Amore Imagine

Originally posted by jimdrugfree

Requested by anon

Enzo x You

A/N : I change this a bit. People tell me I have the magic fingers, I disagree. Writers like @bladeambrose10, @lonelunaticgirl, @wwe-smutfics, @ambootyos , @hiitsmecharlie and many more do. 


Curled up in bed, you couldn’t go anywhere today. Runny nose and sore throat. 

“ Stupid cold” You muttered, a bunch of tissues on the floor, on the bed and all around you. Flipping the tv, today was your day off from work. Enzo was coming over to hang out with you, you forgot all about him. 

“ Shit!” You reached over to get your phone from besides you, scrolling to the text icon, pressing it searching for your boyfriend’s name. 

“ Don’t come over, I’m sick. I don’t want you to catch anything” You sent him before curling in bed as you watched TV. Occasionally sneezing wiping your nose, you had soup before. The carton from the soup laid out on the table next to you. 

Your phone dinged, looking at the text that Enzo sent you, “ Don’t worry about it sweet cheeks, I am coming over. Be prepared to be cuddled hardcore”  A small smile made it’s way to your lips, he was stubborn. 


Knock came to the door, wrapping a blanket around you, red nose, your hair in a messy bun with baggy clothes on. You had on Enzo’s hoodie on with a pair of sweats and socks before you walked over to answer the door. 

Enzo stood on the other side with a bag in his hands, “ Oh you look terrible mama” He said once he saw the state you were in. 

“ Thanks, what I wanted to hear” As you spoke, he frowned at the sound of your raspy voice. “ I’m sorry Y/N, I’ll take care of you. Doctor Amore at your service” 

Walking back to bed, crawling under the covers facing him. He walked over, settling the bag down. Your eyes went to the bag wondering what was in it. 

“ I got you some stuff “ He took out more soup, medicine, movies, chocolate, some more tissues and bottles of water. 

Reaching over the medicine, you gave him the look like do I really have to take this. He laughed, taking the box away. “ Yes, you have to take it. I know you hate the taste.” 

Scrunching up your nose, you moved away from him as he opened the box and got out a spoon from the bag, he poured the medicine into the spoon before glancing at you.

“ Don’t make me chase you because I will Y/N” You crawled to the other side of the bed shaking your head. He sighed before walking to the other side where you where but you shifted to the other side. 

“ Just take the medicine babe. It will help” You shook your head sticking out your tongue at him. “ Please mama, for me?” He pouted, showing you those brown eyes and that pout. Huffing, you put your arms across your chest opening your mouth.

He fed you the spoon of medicine, at the taste, you made a face before swallowing it. The medicine made you shiver in disgust. “ Not that bad?” You eyed the chocolate he brought you, taking it opening it. Taking one to get rid of the taste in your mouth. 

Enzo sat next to you on the bed, he took of his shoes before bringing you to his side. You settled on his chest, his fingers raked through your hair. Hearing his heartbeat, you counted until your eyes closed as you fell asleep in his arms. 


Fluttering your eyes opened, you were still laying on Enzo’s chest but he was just watching TV. Sitting up, he rubbed your back turning his head towards you.

“ Sleep good?” You nodded your head laying back down on the pillow next to you. “ How do you feel mama?” 

“ Better” You said, your voice was a little better but you still felt crappy. “ Good, you need all the rest you can get and be warmed up”He turned to his side, resting his hand on your hip underneath the sheets, rubbing circles as he watched you nuzzle your nose into the pillow.

“ Have I told you how adorable you are?” Meeting his eye, your lips lifted up into a smile. With anything he says, he could make your day. 

“ Your handsome” You mumbled to him, a blush came to his cheeks as he bite his lip. He turned to face you, leaning over his kissed your cheek.

Pulling away, you frowned at him. “ I don’t care if you are sick, I’d kiss you anyways.” 

Taking his hand from your hip, you interlace your fingers through his , he brought your hand to his lips, kissing your palm. Little things he did like this made you happy and be around him more than you thought you would be around a man. 

You loved him with all your heart. 

“ Thank you for being here with me and taking care of me Zo. I love you” He smiled wide hearing those words.

“ Always going to be here for you Y/N. I love you too, your my girl” You moved closer burying your face in his shoulder, “ How about we watch those movies and I make you some soup?” 

You nodded your head, he left your side for a moment as he picked out a movie. He asked what kind, “ I don’t care as long as you come back to cuddle.” He chuckled before picked out a movie and went to make you some soup. 

As the movie started, he came back into the room giving you the spoon and soup. “ Careful it’s hot” 

Sitting up, you took it with your hands, he kissed your forehead before settling down next to you.

Looking over at him, he was amazing and you didn’t know what you did or say to deserve him. But you loved him with all your heart and weren’t planning on letting him go any time soon or never. 

pie-the-memer  asked:

Yours sounds more fun. Elaborate

He’s the most charming bastard on the planet (max charisma, barter, speech)
Got the whole cowboy thing with the duster and hat and shotgun etc
Uses guns, explosives, medicine, and a few other side skills (for all the drugs)
Bounty hunter
Independent new vegas
Recreational weapons of mass destruction at anyone who even slightly annoys him
Still somehow morally good though

theghostking-nico  asked:

Hi Mama Bree! Do you know of any blogs, books, websites, etc that have information on potions, tinctures, salves, and such things? Im interested in learning about that stuff and potentially becoming an herbalist. Thanks!

Good for you! Practical herbalism is a fun and very rewarding line of study. It was a big part of how I got my start as a witch, and boy do you get familiar with Latin in a hurry….

Please note before you begin that in order to practice publicly in the United States, you DO need to be a certified herbalist. (I’ve said “licensed” in the past and it’s been brought to my attention that that is the incorrect term.) There are several colleges that offer certification programs through distance learning, and you’ll need to do that before you start recommending herbal cures, treatments, or therapies for anyone outside yourself and your own home. And yes, that includes online posting. (If you post any recommendations on your blog, make sure that you include a disclaimer that you are unlicensed and remind people to consult a doctor first.)

Home practice requires no license, just make sure you do your homework. Also, I strongly recommend consulting a primary care physician before taking any herbal cure or beginning any herbal treatment regimen. Herbs have interactions and side effects just like any other medicine, and it’s important to know if they clash with pre-existing health conditions or with medications you (or your family member) is already taking).

All that being said, here are the books from my personal library that I most recommend to get you started.

The Complete Guide to Herbal Medicines (Fetrow & Avila) - This reads like a physician’s medical reference. It includes the uses and safe dosage levels for several hundred commonly-used herbs and botanicals, and every entry has health and safety warnings. (I.E. Do not use if you’re taking Coumadin or bloodthinners. Do not use if pregnant or nursing.) This is a must-have, in my opinion. It’s well-organized and makes for quick and easy reference.

Rodale’s Illustrated Encyclopedia of Herbs (ed. Kowalchik & Hylton) - This is a great text for reference on all the practical aspects of growing and preparing herbs for home medical use. It’s been updated a few times, so make sure you’re getting the most current edition. (Look in the front for the original and current printing dates.) It’s a 500+ page TOME of a book, and includes indispensable knowledge for anyone who wants a good thorough grounding in practical herbalism. There are also tips on garden design, pest control, dyeing with plants, and tons more.

Encyclopedia of Herbal Medicine (Chevallier) - This reads like an expanded textbook edition of the Fetrow & Avila book. There are color photos and illustrations with every entry, lists of traditional and current uses, and preservation techniques. There’s also a whole section on how to make and administer tinctures, powders, oils, ointments, and pretty much any herbal preparation you could want. There’s also a page that discusses what to look for when consulting an herbal practitioner, and what the regulations are for the practice. Chevallier also published a Visual Reference Guide to herbal remedies that makes an excellent companion to the Encyclopedia for quick reference.

Peterson Field Guides (pub. Houghton Mifflin) - These little books are another must-have, especially if you’re going to be wildcrafting ANY of your herbs, for witchcraft or for practical herbalism. (I don’t recommend wildcrafting for medicine unless you’re very experienced; too easy to mistake a toxic plant for a safe one.) All the Field Guides are easy reference and fully-illustrated, with information for identifying plants by their components, where they can be found, and which are safe to consume and which should be avoided. I recommend “Edible Wild Plants” and “Medicinal Plants and Herbs” to get you started. These books are keyed to geographic regions, mostly North-American, so check your local bookstore to see if there’s one available that covers your area. (Or just pick up the ones you can find and go from there.)

The New American Herbal (Orr) - I just picked this up recently, but it’s a gorgeous book. Full-color photographs on every single entry, and like Rodale’s, it is a LARGE book. This text is more geared toward identification and basic techniques for growing a preparing herbs, and does include information on which herbs are safe to consume. There’s also a smattering of recipes that might seem more at home in a cookbook, but that doesn’t take away from the overall usefulness.

Rosemary Gladstar’s Medicinal Herbs: A Beginner’s Guide (Gladstar) - I’ve been reading Gladstar’s books on herbalism since my first day out. It’s like sitting down with that auntie who could always tell you what flowers were in the bouquet you brought in from the fields. It’s very practical and sensible stuff, and she does include some health warnings. This is a good book to get you started on identification and simple usage, and I recommend it alongside the next book.

Rosemary Gladstar’s Herbal Recipes for Vibrant Health (Gladstar) - This is where you get into more complex recipes for teas, tinctures, salves, and whatnot. It’s a retitled reprinting of her earlier work, “Rosemary Gladstar’s Family Herbal,” so if you see that one, don’t double up. The book is broken up into sections, mostly by usage, and again, there are some health warnings but they’re fairly simple. (This is why I recommended the Fetrow & Avila book first. Much more comprehensive on the health warnings.)

On a slightly more metaphysical note, you might want to check out Beyerl’s “The Master Book of Herbalism,” which relates more to the magical side of the craft than the practical. It’s a good tie-in that shows where the practices overlap and is heavily based on classical texts like Culpeper’s “Complete Herbal and English Physician.”

For sourcing your herbs, I recommend hitting up a reputable botanicals vendor, rather than an occult shop. If you’re going to be using herbs for medicine, you need to be sure that they’re clean and of good quality, and most importantly, that they’re not blended with something you don’t want. (Some shops cut their herbs with less expensive plants to add bulk, or put old herbs and new herbs in the same container. Not bad for witchery, but not the best for medicine.)

My go-to for this is Starwest Botanicals. You’ll have to order in bulk (this is the case for most botanicals vendors), but the prices are reasonable and the products are very high quality. They also carry accoutrements that you’ll want for making various preparations and treatments.

Hope this helps! :)

(Oh and witches - TAKE NOTE! If you’re going to be working with herbs in your magic, I strongly advise that you get your hands on some practical texts to go along with your magical ones. This list is a good place to start.)

Sweetly Malicious || BTS || Pt. 2

Pt. 1 // Pt. 2 // Pt. 3 // Pt. 4 // Pt. 5 //

Word Count: 2492

Genre: witch!au

Summary: Seven innocent witches that bear a sinner’s weight and a girl that might be able to help them break the curse.


It was midnight and everyone in the house had already gone to bed. You lay, staring up at the ceiling as smoke images you created yourself swirled around like storm clouds, reflecting your bitter mood. Your stomach still churned and every time you thought of your dad, anger surged through your system. How could he have thought to invite seven witches into your house without discussing you first? And he yelled at you when you had told him that it would be dangerous.

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anonymous asked:

*curtsies* sorry to trouble you with my problems, but my self esteem has been horrible. I have terrible skin, and it's been bad for as long as I can remember. I went to the dermatologist and there isn't much I can do other than harsh medicines that will give me bad side effects. I feel like crying whenever I look in the mirror. how can I love myself when I hate everything about my face since it's covered in eczema and acne?

*Curtsies* I’m so sorry to hear you’re struggling with this. And I don’t say that lightly–because I have had the same problem and I am all too aware of exactly how much it sucks. (This is unrelated to the self-esteem element, but one thing I would suggest is trying African Black Soap. It’s cheap and easy to order online and it did wonders for my skin just in terms of making it less irritated all the time.) Re: self-esteem. I think there are three things to do to help with this. Number one: remind yourself that your physical appearance is literally the least important part of your personality. This can be a really hard thing to believe because we live in a culture which is constantly telling us that our appearance is the only part of our personalities that matters, but frankly, that’s bullshit. I don’t care how good-looking you are, if you’re boring or unpleasant or shallow, after a while the only people who will want to hang out with you are other people who are boring or unpleasant or shallow. So focus instead on the stuff that makes you worthwhile as a person. Do stuff you’re good at. Show off your talents. Remind yourself that there’s more to you than the skin on your face. Second thing: Stay as healthy as you can. Drink loads of water, don’t eat junk, get some sleep and get some exercise. You’d be amazed how much better you’ll feel when you’re taking care of yourself. You may not be able to fix your skin (Hormones are a bitch, am I right?) but you can definitely make sure that the rest of your body is in full working order, and that will go a long way to making you feel better both mentally and physically. Lastly, I’m going to sort of reiterate what I said in the second paragraph of this post here: Find your ‘thing.’ Find a little something you can do every day that gives you a little confidence boost, whether it’s getting a new perfume or wearing cute underwear or what have you. Like I said, my thing is the eyeliner. I do it every single day, even if the rest of me looks like I just crawled out of a storm drain. So yeah, I may be having a terrible breakout but my eyeliner is *flawless.* Bonus tip: making a statement with your hair or your clothes or your makeup makes people that much less likely to focus on your skin. 

Don’t Worry, I’ll Be Fine (Luke)

Requested by anon -  Can you do a Luke one were y/n’s parents think she has something wrong with her brain because she keeps having panic attacks, shaking and twitching and Luke is on tour and y/n tells him but also tells him not to come to England (y/n is English) but to stay on tour because she doesn’t want to worry him but he surprises her at the hospital for the appointment and turns out it’s nothing big and she gets better with his help. Luke is y/n boyfriend. Sorry got kinda carried away. Love ur writing.

I sat in the corner of my room waiting for the pain to go away but my head just keeps throbbing. My chest is tight and I can feel my body start to shake when I hear the door open. I don’t look up but I know it’s my mum when she slides down the wall next to me and wraps and arm around me. She pulls me into her and runs her fingers through my hair.

“You can’t refuse anymore. I think it’s time to get this looked at again.”

“You think there is something wrong with me? That my head is messed up?”

“Come on Sweetie” she says as she tries to help me stand.

“I-I-I can’t. I do-don’t have the are-strength” I get out between gasps of air. I feel my father pick me up bridal style and he takes me out to the car. I hear them talk between themselves but I can’t focus enough to know what they’re saying. My mum put something in my mouth after she buckled me in and I assume that it was one of the pills that the last doctor, who my mother swears was wrong, had given me. At the time, my mum had thought I was making everything up for the attention. Since then it had started to get worse and the shaking started. She had been trying to convince me to get more tests because she just knew it was something in my brain that could be fixed easily but she couldn’t hide her embarrassment. She never talked about it with her friends and she would change the subject of it came up in public, she wanted it to be a secret that she gave birth to a defective child. I feel the panic set in again but my body was too worn out from the last attach so I vaguely recall someone lifting me into a wheelchair and bringing me inside a cold building. It smelt clean but overly so where the scent of bleach cleaner assaulted my nose.

“Hun” my mum says in a voice that suggests she is forcing herself to seem compassionate. “Luke is calling for the 3rd time.”

“No, I don’t want to burden him” I mumble and she sighs as she places my phone next to me and it continues to buzz.

“The doctor has a few more tests” a woman says as she starts to unlock the wheels of my bed to move it. I don’t reply because I feel ashamed of what is happening. The panic had left for now and I don’t know how effective this test will be. She pushes me into a room and I switch to a different bed which has a built in bed on it. She explains the test and I lay back as she moves the bed into the large machine.
——————–
“Hi Luke” I hear my mum say. “Please stop calling her phone.” I shuffle a bit. “She is resting right now and there are still some tests that they have to do so I don’t think it’s a good idea to keep calling.” I want to tell her to give me the phone but I’m so tired.
——————–
The next time I wake is when the nurse puts more medicine in my I.V.

“Do I really need it?” I ask her.

“For now” she says with an apologetic smile. I see that my mum left the room with my phone by me and I pick it up. I dial Luke’s number but a man I don’t know answers. He tells me that Luke is on stage but told him to tell him as soon as I called.

“Baby, are you okay?” He is out of breath and I know he was jumping around. I feel guilty for stopping the show.

“I didn’t know you were on stage already.”

“Do you want me to you? We are just outside London now, I can be there in a jiffy.”

“Don’t be ridiculous Luke” I say back to him as I sag into the bed on my side. “You are in the middle of tour and I’m like 4 hours from London. Besides, they just keep doing tests so there is not much for you to do here.”

“What are they doing tests for? What happened?”

“I don’t know. Mum says that there has to be something wrong with my brain.”

“You don’t sound like you agree” he states.

“There is something wrong I guess because I have these attacks but I don’t think it’s something that can be fixed with a surgery. I think she is hopeful that it will be fixed and gone forever.”

“Are you positive that yo-”

“Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.”

“But”

“No, just focus on the tour.” I hear him grumble and sigh.

“I love you babe.”

“I love you too Lukey.” Once we hang up I turn to my other side and the nurse comes in. “This medicine makes me so tired” I tell her. I feel my eyelids grow heavier and sink into my pillow. She pulls the blanket up to my shoulders and I’m asleep before she even leaves the room.
——————–
Like each time I have woken up there is a rustling in my room. I must have had a nightmare because my heart is beating fast again and my breathing is quickened.

“Mum” I try. “Something is not right” I tell her panicked.

“It’s me baby, I’m here” Luke says. “Shhhh baby” he says as he runs his hand up and down my arm. He must have pushed the emergency button because my nurse came in to assess the situation. “Relax” Luke says softly as I feel the cold medicine enter my veins again.

“Why are you here Luke? You can’t ignore your fans and punish them just because my head is fucked” I say quickly.

“Stop. Stop worrying about that. It’s a rest week and I didn’t ignore anybody. Now come on babe, when you come back to normal, I have a surprise for you.” I close my eyes and focus on breathing. After a few minutes, I open my eyes and luke hands me a small black pouch. I open it and find a silver necklace with a guitar and a red pick hanging as pendants.

“Luke, is this your lucky pick? I can’t take that from you.”

“My brothers girlfriend gets panic attacks sometimes and she told me that she has a necklace that she plays with that helps calm her down. I figured that you could use that and maybe it could bring you some luck.” The way I am lying and the way he is sitting only allows for me to give a kiss to his hand in thanks. “I should get the doctor. She said she wanted to talk to you when you woke up.” He leaves the room but returns shortly followed by the doctor.

“Every test we have done proves what we suspected which is that there is nothing physically wrong. Now, you will have to take medicine each day to keep the attacks to a minimum but your body will eventually be able to fight the drowsiness.”

“So I’m still going to get them?” I ask.

“Unfortunately there is no real way to fully prevent them so it is what we have to do” she explains. “I have already spoken to your mum about this and she is having a hard time but she understands.”

“Where is my mum?” I ask Luke.

“She went to work but she will be here later when you get discharged. She is going to bring us to your house” he says. 

“I get to go home!?” I ask excitedly. 

“You get to go home if you can manage these last 4 hours without an attack” the doctor clarifies. Luke climbs in the bed next to me and I curl into him. 

“I’m sure having Luke here will help” I tell her. “I’m sorry I ruined your rest week” I mumble. 

“There is nowhere I would rather be then with my arms wrapped around you” he kisses the top of my head. “I love you.”

“I love you too” I mumble into his chest and he laughs. I fall asleep to the wonderful sound and have a completely restful sleep for the first time in 6 weeks. Must be because of Luke…and the lucky pick. 

-Kimmie

4

The project of this weekend has been to create (completely from scratch) a wallet to keep all my medical and healing related items all in one place. It took ages and my fingers feel well and truly used after pushing many reluctant needles through thick parts of fabric but it is almost completely finished now, just lacking a Velcro fastening, a button to cover it and a little name plate on the front.

I already keep all my medications in silicone macarons which are super cute, so there is a pocket for each of those, and a seperate pocket behind for the sachet medicines I take. Then on the other side there are pockets for my roll on aromatherapy remedies and a little write on section where I can keep my emergency medical contacts. And on the back theres a big pocket which will house a list of my appointments!

I’m so proud of this project, most of all because this fabric is gorgeous and I’m just so happy I’ve found something useful I can do with it that means I’ll see it all the time!

I did take a lot of pics along the way so if anyone wants a tutorial I could do one? It’s all hand sewn so there’s no need for any fancy equipment!