other people oh my god do i have to tag them all

bpd Guilt Guide™

1. know in my brain that other people do in fact care about me
2. feel, in my chest and stomach, like nobody cares about me at all regardless
3. feel ashamed of myself for being so Selfish and Not Appreciating the love and friendship my friends/etc give me
4. Guilt™
5. decide they are all angry at me for being unappreciative and selfish
6. isolate myself to spare them the trouble of dealing with My Selfish Ass™
7. notice friends getting upset that i have gone MIA
8. “oh god they’re even angrier now”
8a. withdraw, dissociate
9. begin to come around and remember that they do care for me
10. repeat steps 1-9