alright I picked one now. You won't miss me, destiel.
anon asked: "You won’t miss me" (because I’m a sucker for angst and pain)
i decided to combine these two asks, since they’re the same prompt:) and i changed the tense, sorry…
Why did everything lead to this situation? One man bloody and broken, the other clutching him and trying to pull him away from death?
Looking down at his friend bleeding to death on the couch, his veins black against his throat, Dean’s whole world was centered to this moment and he was terrified. There was something rising in his chest, something that he knew would snap once Cas went lights out for good.
He nearly cried in relief when Crowley broke the staff, making Cas whole again.
After, it’s just him and Cas driving home in the Impala, Sam and Mary in the other car. Dean clutches the wheel, making the leather crack. There’s so much to say to Cas, yet nothing at all.
“Almost lost you back there,” Dean says, trying to turn it into a joke and make his tone light but falling flat.
Cas turns his blue eyes to his. “Dean.”
“Why do we always end up here?” Dean can’t stop himself from whispering. “Everything we do, it leads here… someone…” He fights hard against the choking feeling in his throat. “To someone dying.”
Cas says, almost too quietly for Dean to hear, “You wouldn’t miss me.”
Dean sits, shocked for a moment, then violently pulls the Impala off the highway and into the shoulder. “Don’t you fucking say that,” he says, pointing a finger dangerously at Castiel. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Cas looks pained when he says, “The things I’ve done, Dean… to sacrifice myself for the good cause would be my penance.”
“I don’t care what the hell you have or haven’t done. You’re not leaving me, you got that?” Dean tries to control his breathing, looks back at the windshield and the endless darkness of the night in front of them. “’cause, Cas… if you had died…” He stops, angrily pressing his eyes with his fingertips to keep his emotions from boiling over like a complete idiot.
He feels Cas’ hand gently lay on his arm. When he finally looks up, Cas is looking at him with worried eyes. “I understand now, Dean,” he says. “You would miss me; because we’re family.”
Cas is gorgeous against the moonlight, beautiful and warm and fucking alive, and Dean thinks fuck it all and grabs the back of Cas’ head, pulling him forward into a desperate kiss.
“More than just family, you idiot,” he says against Cas’ lips, feeling his warm breath mingle with his.
“When I said that I love you…” Cas begins, “when I said it, for the first time… I meant…”
Dean says hurriedly, “I know,” before bringing him forward again, refusing to let Cas go ever again.