othello william shakespeare

Practical Shakespeare Quotes

Do you want to quote more Shakespeare in your life but never find opportunities to say “brevity is the soul of wit”? Do you rarely hang below balconies exchanging love vows with the daughter of your enemy? This is just the list for you.

“What an ass am I!”
Hamlet, Act 2, Scene 2

“I am not a slut,”
As You Like It, Act 3, Scene 3
(Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)

“Hell is empty and all the devils are here,”
The Tempest, Act 1, Scene 2

“Commit the oldest sins the newest kind of ways,”
Henry IV Part 2, Act 4, Scene 5

“This is the excellent foppery of the world,”

King Lear, Act 1, Scene 2

“Making the beast with two backs,”
Othello, Act 1, Scene 1

“The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool,”
As You Like It, Act 5, Scene 1

“To tell thee plain, I aim to lie with thee,”
Henry VI Part 3, Act 3, Scene 2
(Works great for courting hot widows.)

“I would rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man swear he loves me,”
Much Ado About Nothing, Act 1, Scene 1

“I wasted time, and now doth time waste me,”
Richard II, Act 5, Scene 5

“Marry, sir, in her buttocks.”
A Comedy of Errors, Act 2, Scene 5
(No judgement here.)

“My horse is my mistress,”
Henry V, Act 3, Scene 7
(Uh, there might be something wrong with that.)

“Thou dost infect my eyes,”
Richard III, Act 1, Scene 2

“Better a witty fool, than a foolish wit,”
Twelfth Night, Act 1, Scene 5
(“Wit” is Shakespearean slang for penis.)

“[Wine] provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance,”
Macbeth, Act 2, Scene 3

“I had rather live with cheese and garlic in a windmill, far, than feed on cates and have him talk to me in any summer-house in Christendom,”
Henry IV Part 2, Act 4 Scene 1

“Now, gods, stand up for bastards!”
King Lear, Act 1, Scene 2

“Villain, I have done thy mother!”
Titus Andronicus, Act 4, Scene 2
(This means exactly what you think it does.)

“And thou unfit for any place but hell,”
Richard III, Act 1, Scene 2

“The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers,”
Henry VI Part 2, Act 4, Scene 2

“Heaven truly knows that thou art false as hell.”
Othello, Act 4, Scene 2

“Out, dunghill!”
King John, Act 4, Scene 3

“This is too long.”
Hamlet, Act 2, Scene 2

A quick guide to Shakespearean men

Hamlet, the little emo shit

King Lear, the big emo shit

Romeo, the hormonal emo shit

Puck, just a little shit tbh

Macbeth, the Scottish emo shit

Henry V, the frat boy emo shit

Brutus, the honorable emo shit

Othello, the poc emo shit

Richard II, the greedy emo shit

Don Jon, the illegitimate emo shit

the signs as eccentric Shakespeare-themed quotes from my theatre troupe:
  • Aries: Yes the wives of Windsor are merry, but are they happy inside? Are they emotionally fulfilled?
  • Taurus: Trinculo can't hold his liquor, that's why Stephano left him for a half-fish demon.
  • Gemini: Be gentle with Yorick! Or Ivan, or Lin-Manuel Miranda or whatever his name is, he came from Target.
  • Cancer: As if Othello would be caught dead in a onesie.
  • Leo: My father would kill me if I was in Titus Andronicus, but I would also give my left hand for a role... you see my problem.
  • Virgo: And we all know why scenes end without a set change? *unified chant* So they could relight the lanterns.
  • Libra: Make Phebe a lesbian! Make everybody gay! I don't care.
  • Scorpio: Try me, Prospera! *crash backstage* Oh, shit.
  • Sagittarius: Get out of my face with your Oxfordian bullcrap.
  • Capricorn: We can't perform it as well because Shakespeare only hired magicians for his troupe...
  • Aquarius: Ferdinand and Miranda are just Romeo and Juliet with heavy lifting.
  • Pisces: The Bard is witty, alright! Also a douchebag!
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“Othello” by William Shakespeare

New York Theatre Workshop, 2016

Starring David Oyelowo, Daniel Craig, David Wilson Barnes, Marsha Stephanie Blake, Rachel Brosnahan, Blake DeLong, Glenn Fitzgerald, Slate Holmgren, Anthony Michael Lopez, Matthew Maher, Nikki Massoud, Kyle Vincent Terry & Finn Wittrock

Shakespeare modern translation.

Hamlet: *Pretends to be insane and accidentally becomes insane*

Romeo and Juliet: 1st world problems with twelve year olds.

Julius Caesar: Can I have a Caesar salad?

Merry Wives of Windsor: Midlife crisis.

A Midsummer Night’s Dream: Inception.

Macbeth: How not to get away with murder.

The Taming of the Shrew: Don’t know whether to be offended or to laugh awkwardly. Proceeds to do both.

Much Ado About Nothing: Everyone wants everyone.

Merchant of Venice: Well that escalated quickly.

Othello: A break up song gone wrong.

Every single sonnet: *One arm draped over eyes* The angst that is my life.

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Behold: three Shakespeare-themed Valentine’s Day cards!

Find more here!

(These are not mine. I found them on a Facebook thread and through Google searches. If any of these are yours and you want them taken down, just shoot me a message. If any of these are yours and you want credit, just shoot me a message or comment on this.)