the 3 classes of gay ships
  • Class A, the most common:
  • Person 1: hey no homo but do you wanna go on a date with me
  • Person 2: no homo but yeah sure
  • Billy, a heterosexual: that sounds pretty gay
  • Person 2: we said no homo
  • Person 1: did you not fucking hear us
  • *later*
  • Person 1: hey do you wanna kiss
  • Person 1: like in a heterosexual way
  • Person 2: yeah sure
  • Person 2: i heterosexually kiss people all the time
  • *Person 1 and 2 kiss*
  • Billy, a heterosexual: tHaT LoOKs pRetTy gAy
  • Person 1: what the fuck billy no
  • Person 2: what the fuck would give you that idea
  • *later*
  • Person 1: hey wanna get married
  • Person 1: but like as bros
  • Person 2: yeah sure
  • Person 2: but like no homo right bro
  • Person 1: yeah no homo bro
  • Billy, a heterosexual, shouting in the distance: GAAAYYYY
  • Person 2: shut the fUCK UP BILLY
  • Person 1: I HOPE YOU FUCKING DIE
  • Person 2: THIS IS WHY NOBODY NOBODY FUCKING LIKES YOU
  • Person 1: EVERYONE FUCKING HATES YOU BILLY
  • Class B:
  • Person 1: c-can i kiss you?
  • Person 2: yES (holy fuck finally)
  • *person 1 and 2 kiss*
  • Billy, a heterosexual: WOW DID YOU GUYS JUST KISS
  • Person 1: n-n-no no we didn't (fuck fuck fuck)
  • Person 2: bitch maybe
  • Class C:
  • Person 1: can i, like, kiss you
  • Person 2: um, yEAH I HAVE BEEN FUCKING WAITING
  • *person 1 and 2 kiss*
  • Billy, a heterosexual: WOW DID YOU GUYS JUST KISS
  • Person 1: are you fucking blind
  • Person 2: jesus fucking christ billy
  • Person 1: what the fuck did you think was happening
  • Person 2: yeah BILLY
  • Person 1: you're so fucking dumb billy
OTP Wing

Person C: *wraps arm around A’s sholders* Hey A.

Person A: What’s up?

Person C: *points at B* You see B over there?

Person A: Yeah?.. What about B?

Person C: B thinks you’re really cute.

Person A: I would hope so! We’re married.

2

the H word

Victor, in a hushed frightened whisper: They say… if you turn off all the lights in the rink and say “puck” 3 times, a you-know-what player will appear and bodyslam you into the plexiglass wall

Yura and Beka: the horror 😱

Yuuri: actually that sounds kind of hot. Puck, puck,

Victor: huSBAND?!!

No offense to hockey 😅 I just love that hilarious fic trope where the figure skaters are so dramatically APPALLED at the more violent ice skating sport. And because I remembered people who used to say “H-E-🏒-🏒”