In the Stuff I Get Asked dep't: relationship advice

I had something come in this morning that got answered privately, but who knows, other people may find it useful.

I’m on the older side of my mid-20s and have never really been in a relationship, and whenever anyone casually mentions their girlfriend or something on Tumblr, I feel bad. It makes me feel like I’m socially deficient. How can I abate this feeling of shame?

I’ll grant you that this can be difficult, bearing in mind the incessant annoyance of peer pressure and other people’s endlessly-apparent expectations. But these you have to simply learn to ignore, because other people’s timetables are simply not your timetable, and this is just fine.

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So, I've been hiding...

I’ve been off tumblr for a few months! It’s been a busy time. First there was Christmas. (You all had Christmas, right? That thing with the tree and the paper hats? I like paper hats.) But after that I had to work very hard on the writing - I needed to get a new book sent off to the publishers for release this autumn, and get ahead with the *next* book, and do some TV and radio work, and… oh, frankly, I should stop moaning, because it’s a wonderful job, and some mornings I wake up almost squealing with glee because I’m allowed to do it.

But I decided that I should cut back from my time on tumblr. It was okay to stay on Facebook. And Twitter can be pretty irritating, but how distracted can I get by 140 characters? But Tumblr is a very pretty thing - I think the gifs are so clever, and there’s such great art here, and such an extraordinary community. And, frankly, entire hours could go by with me staring at little videos of cats falling over, or people dressing up as River Song, and my editors would start sending me angry email.

And I made lots of lovely friends on here, and you were all more fun to hang around with than the contents of my brain.

It’s been pointed out to me recently that my disappearing was a little abrupt. A bit like leaving a really fun party to pop out to the bathroom - and then crawling out through the window and never coming back. So, sorry about that! I haven’t *entirely* left the party - I’m just eating fewer of the chipolata sausages. If I can stretch that party analogy to breaking point.

Still got lots of writing to do, and still got lots of editors to dodge. But they’re not quite so fearsome at the moment. So I may hide in this website a little more often, and go ‘aaah’ at the prettiness.

And a big hello to everyone who was so nice to me at Gallifrey!