ostrich-faces

A Pebble Cast [One-Shot]

Summary: Sasuke and Sakura wait at home for their daughter to return from a run-of-the-mill mission. However, it seems they’ve both forgotten what kind of trouble a team consisting of an Uchiha and an Uzumaki can get into… [Companion Piece to An Inch of Gold]

Warning: Spoilers for pretty much everything up to Boruto: The Movie

Canon-Compliance: Everything up to Boruto: The Movie

Fanon-Compliance: Takes place simultaneously with An Inch of Gold; could conceivably take place in the Unplanned universe

AN: Because it’s election night and I’m worried about the state of the world come tomorrow. And for a lot of my American readers out there tonight, you’re going to need some cheering up if this doesn’t go well. So here, have a fluffy side-fic to An Inch of Gold. Hopefully it gives a bunch of you your fix of Future Team 7 (and PapaSasuke specifically) because I don’t know when exactly he will show up in IoG.

Obviously, if you haven’t already, you need to read my other fic An Inch of Gold to know what is going on plotwise, but otherwise feel free to enjoy domestic Uchihas being domestic.

This fic is currently unbetaed. We’ll get on that eventually.

Enjoy!


It would surprise most people to know that Sasuke Uchiha likes to cook.

He supposes it’s a trait inherited from his mother – she taught both him and Itachi basic culinary skils. His brother actually had an uncanny talent for it, and Sasuke imagines that if his brother hadn’t been as skilled in the shinobi arts, he would have become a chef.

It’s more challenging these days, with only the one arm, but that’s what clones are for.

Naruto isn’t the only one in the village that can use them efficiently, although Sasuke isn’t one to make such a big deal about it.

Keep reading

#BestGiftEver: Gag Gifts

10 hilarious joke gifts for him and her

We’ve made a number of serious gift guides to help you with your holiday shopping this season, but what about the gifts you want to give just for a good laugh? Well, we’ve got you covered with truly funny ideas for him and her, from a cocoon-like neck pillow to an extendable selfie stick. Scroll down for 10 of laugh-out-loud gifts that will put a smile on everyone’s face when it comes time to unwrap.

Gag Gifts for Him

1. Travel Neck Pillow

While this neck or face cozy is supposed to be a serious gift, we can’t help but laugh at the thought of someone wearing this with a straight face.

‘Ostrich Pillow® Light’ Travel Neck Pillow

The neck pillow doubles as an oversized eye mask.

2. Pizza Boxers

Guys love funny boxers, especially ones with goofy innuendos, like “Gimme a pizza dat.”

AEO Pizza Boxer

3. Mullet & Tache Kit

Who doesn’t like to make fun of mullets? With this kit, he can actually wear the hairstyle with an equally comical 'stache and break the ice at any get-together.

Mullet & Tasche Kit

4. Bathroom Jokes

Girls might always roll their eyes at toilet humor, but this joke-covered roll of toilet paper will please any funny guy.

Crp Jokes Toilet Roll

5. Party Bowling

Finally, a use for all those empty beer cans. This cardboard party bowling setup is silly, but definitely not the worst party game we’ve seen.

Party Bowling Kit

Gag Gifts for Her

1. Selfie Stick

If you’ve ever seen those groups of people posing in front of a smartphone on a stick, you know how ridiculous it looks. A selfie stick is the perfect gag gift for her, even if she doesn’t get the joke.

Extendable Selfie Stick

2. Ugly Christmas Sweater Kit

If she’s attending an ugly Christmas sweater party this year, this kit will give relieve her from the prospect of sorting through the sparse remains at the nearest Goodwill.

Retrofit Unisex Ugly Christmas Sweater Kit

3. Ponytail Wrap

There’s something funny about fake hair, and something even funnier about a synthetic hair ponytail wrap.

Synthetic Hair Ponytail Wrap

4. Cat Gloves

These colorful cat-covered gloves are perfect for the girl who gets a kick out of funny animal videos on YouTube and still has her collection of Lisa Frank stickers from the '90s.

Cosmic Cuddle Gloves in Cats

5. Hair Dye

Manic Panic reminds us of a middle school experiment gone wrong, which is why it’s the perfect joke gift for teens and adults alike.

Hair color

2

The ci-devant Queen looked ghastly … Her haggard appearance contrasted bizarrely with the mental image that most of the spectators had of the accused. Marie Antoinette had, after all, been immured for over a year, and in the last months of her stay at the Tuileries had ventured out little in public for fear of hostility.

If she was not the Austrian she-wolf, the ostrich with the harpy’s face of the caricatures, then she was the glittering Queen with her diamonds and nodding plumes, last seen properly in the glory days of Versailles over four years before.

As Le Moniteur admitted, Antoinette Capet was “prodigiously changed.”

—Antonia Fraser, Marie Antoinette: The Journey