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What if

Rowan never finds Aelin. What if Maeve is forever one step ahead. What if he has to return to Terrasen alone and with a failure weighing his shoulders down. What if we still get Aliens pov. We get both of the their pov. And we can read moments when he was barely a footstep away from her. What if she is pregnant? What if she loses the child? What if she is never free from Maeve until she is old and grey. What if one day she is freed. She is brought to the castles of terrasens doors and when they are opened the strangers do not recognise her.

Except for an a middle aged lady with elides face and lorcans height. What if she screams for manon. The last surviving person from the wars. What if she sees Alien, old and dying and just cries. What if Aelin, with her dying voice asks for her mate. What if she begs for him. For her family. For every person who had fought for her. What if Manon has to tell her that they are dead. That Dorian had such beautiful sons with her but no magic could keep him alive forever. That Chaol and nesryn returned to the east and never came back. That aedion and Lysandra died living the lies Aelin had set for them, never able to produce a terrasen heir but madly in love. What if she speaks of how Evangeline died an old lady and how elide died a mother. What if she tells of how Lorcan died with her, his heart broken one too many times.
And yet again Aelin asks for her mate. So Manon brings her to him. Lying in his chamber bed, as greying and dying as her. What if Rowan sees her and just, he can’t do anything and Alien cries and she mouths sorry to him a hundred times over. What if Manon leaves and Aelin crawls into Rowans bed. What if she tells him once more of what she has been through and he holds his hand to his heart. Never letting it go as he kisses her. And he holds her as they cry. And eventually they fall asleep. And forget to wake up again.

And great I’m crying.

Eu quero ser o motivo do sorriso de alguém. Quero dormir e acordar tendo a certeza de que sou amada de verdade. Quero me lembrar porque me apaixonei, quando existir uma discussão. Eu quero ter medo de perder alguém por besteira. Quero me sentir protegida quando algo me atingir. E quero proteger a pessoa que é a minha felicidade. Só desejo sentir o amor que fazem muitas pessoas lutarem para não perder, aquele sentimento puro e sincero que poucos têm a sorte de cultivar e florescer. Mesmo que no fim não sobre nada além de saudade. Se for amor, terá valido a pena.
—  De amores rasos eu já estou cheia.

We’re so short on time from running over on those chicken necropsies that when I realized I didn’t bring a fork or spoon for lunch today I chose to eat my salad with the lid and cup of my dressing container rather than waste precious time walking to the kitchen area which may or may not even have silverware.

I’m dripping with hungry desperation.