orphan jokes


I’ve been following this story for days before it went viral and most media outlet picked it up with sensationalism, and let me just throw some things out there before you start making “Orphan” movie jokes.

- Kristine and her now-ex, Michael Barnett, who are the adoptive parents of the girl in question, adopted her from Ukraine in 2010

- since the girl, Natalia, did not have a birth certificate, she was taken to MULTIPLE doctors who had estimated her age to be around eight

- another doctor examined her in 2012 and determined she was around 11

- Natalia has a bone-growth disorder and is a little person

- she is not the first child the Barnett’s had adopted

- their older adopted son is autistic and got into Purdue University at 12

- Kristine wrote books about raising him in which she claimed that before she started tutoring him at home, he wasn’t speaking nor communicating with people in any way and was thought to be incapable of it

- his story brought the family fame, television appearances and money, gaining them a segment on 60 Minutes in 2012

- that same year, the Barnetts had Natalia’s age legally changed to 22 in court, after allegedly obtaining a letter from a doctor claiming she is an adult

- in 2013, the whole family sans Natalia moved to Canada, leaving her alone in a rented flat with no money

- during her time alone, reportedly a neighbor took her in after she got evicted in 2014 for not paying rent, but according to multiple sources, Natalia can no longer be located, and questions are raised about her well-being

- another couple tried getting custody of her in 2016, and the Barnetts filed an objection to that

- while Kristine told the police and the public outrageous claims about Natalia’s time with the family, Michael Barnett had something completely different to say

- he has stated that he always believed Natalia was indeed a child, and that his ex had coached Natalia into telling anyone who asked why she was on her own, that she was an adult who looks younger due to her condition

- Kristine claims Natalia never grew, among other things, which she says also proves that she is an adult because both average height and little people grow until adulthood, but her own family photos disprove those claims since Natalia is visibly bigger and older on the most recent ones

- even if Natalia showcased all of the behavioral issues that Kristine claims she has, surely there is a better way to go about the situation than what this ex-couple did

- the movie Orphan came out in 2009, giving Kristine more than enough time to get “inspired” by it

- a couple of weeks ago, Kristine and Michael were charged on two counts of felony neglect of a defendant, and released on bail

- according to the case against the Barnetts, experts carried out bone density tests on Natalia in June 2010 and concluded she was eight year old


Why do some people say he smells like trash/garbage and is gross and “ugly” and a frog or things like that? And some say he is weird and strange like it is a bad thing. Is it like the thing girls do when they have an immense crush on a boy that they say “Ugh, I hate him so much” ? I don’t understand that either. Just admit that you looooove him. He is a detective he will find out the truth.

bookeatingworm  asked:

Peter absolutely would make orphan jokes, change my mind

oh my god that’s terrible but beautiful ;-; here are some interpretations I came up with!

MJ: hey peter, wanna come over?

peter: sorry, I can’t :/

MJ: my parents aren’t home ;)

peter: … :( don’t worry, I’m sure they’ll come back…


peter: you know my favorite part of being an orphan?

ned: what?

peter: every bag of chips is family size!

ned: D:


tony: hey, peter—

peter: Mr. Stark, are you an orphan?

tony: I— yeah. what gave me away?


tony: …they died, actually

peter, sweating: o-oH


peter: what do you call an orphan’s family tree?

MJ: what?

peter: a stUMP

MJ: …peter do you need someone to talk to?


peter: hey! Mr. Captain America! what is it called when an orphan takes a family portrait?

steve: what?

peter: a selfie!!

steve: …what is a selfie??

peter: …….never mind

can u believe beth childs loved doctor who enough that she had a printed out picture of the tardis stuck to her cubicle wall and no one ever talked about it? depressed beth this and ace beth that but nerd beth was paid DUST… too afraid of “which doctor was her fave” discourse… weaklings…