Grimmjow vs. Cat Things


Author’s choice list. :)


I like to tease Grimmjow about how he’s a kitty. It gives me life. But how would Grimmjow actually react if various cat-related items were placed in front of him? And because it feels right, it will be Orihime and Chad who are responsible for the following experiments. Since that’s probably what they all did in Hueco Mundo.


1. Grimmjow vs. the piece of string

Orihime: [dangling string in front of Grimmjow’s face]

Grimmjow: Hey. Get that out of my face, woman.

Orihime: [dangling string in front of Grimmjow’s face]

Grimmjow: Cut it out!

Orihime: [dangling string in front of Grimmjow’s face]

Grimmjow [whacking string out of the way]: I SAID STOP IT

Orihime: He batted it! He batted it!

Chad: [thumbs up]

Grimmjow: THAT DOESN’T COUNT AS BATTING


2. Grimmjow vs. the laser pen

Chad: [pointing the laser pen at Grimmjow’s feet]

Grimmjow: …

Grimmjow: I won’t chase that.

Chad: [wiggling laser pointer]

Grimmjow: I don’t even want to chase it.

Chad: [wiggling laser pointer faster]

Grimmjow: I don’t -

Grimmjow: OH FUCK IT

Chad: Cats cannot resist a laser pen.


3. Grimmjow vs. the scratching post

Grimmjow: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY??

Grimmjow: MY CLAWS ARE ALREADY VERY SHARP!!


4. Grimmjow vs. the catnip mouse

Chad: Here, Grimmjow.

Grimmjow: Dude, if you want me to eat drugs, bake it into a brownie like a normal person.

Grimmjow: I’m not going to gnaw on a stuffed mouse!

Chad: What if I came back with a catnip toy in the shape of Aizen’s head?

Grimmjow: …then I might have to reevaluate.


5. Grimmjow vs. the bath

Grimmjow: HOW DARE YOU DUNK THE KING IN SOAPY WATER?!?!?!

Orihime: Wow, cats really do hate baths!


6. Grimmjow vs. the spray bottle

Grimmjow: …I am going to rip off your fucking arm if you don’t stop spraying me in the face.

Chad: …

Chad: Okay.


7. Grimmjow vs. the piece of tinfoil on his head

Grimmjow: THIS UPSETS ME SO MUCH AND I DON’T KNOW WHY

Orihime: M-maybe we should take it off!

Chad: After he stops spinning around in circles.


8. Grimmjow vs. the closed door

Grimmjow: Guys? What are you doing in there? Guys? Guys?

Grimmjow (rattling door): GUYS???

Chad: If we let you in, you’ll just want out again.

Grimmjow: I WILL NOT


9. Grimmjow vs. the cat tower

Orihime: Grimmjow! You’re actually sitting on it?

Grimmjow: …

Grimmjow: I like to be high up.


10. Grimmjow vs. the kleenex box

Chad: Grimmjow, did you try to stick your head into the kleenex box?

Grimmjow: …

Grimmjow: Maybe.

Chad: Do you want help getting it off your head?

Grimmjow: No I live here now.