It’s mermay and I couldn't’ miss this chance XD so Ulqui and Ori in a Mermaid!AU ♥ 

YOU CAN READ MY ULQUIHIME MERMAID!AU HERE!

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Bleach Characters Cooking


As requested by anon. :)


1. Ishida: Follows the recipes (mostly)

Orihime: Wow, Ishida-kun! These cookies are good!

Ishida: Thank you!

Orihime: I can’t believe you found a recipe for these tiny sugar Quincy bows that you used as decorations!

Ishida: Oh, I’ve been making those since I was eight.


2. Ichigo: Does not follow the recipe

Ishida: Kurosaki, WHAT did you do to these cookies?

Ichigo: Well, I didn’t have flour, but I figured that since bread is mostly flour, if I just cut off tiny, tiny pieces of bread it would basically be flour!

Ishida: …

Ishida: It’s the menos grande all over again.

Ichigo: Yeah, my plans usually work way better than this.


3. Grimmjow: Gets impatient

Grimmjow: Oh, you want me to WAIT for the water to BOIL, do you?

Grimmjow: WELL FUCK YOU THE PASTA IS GOING IN NOW!!

Ichigo: So now you have pasta in water…

Grimmjow: Nobody asked you!


4. Nnoitra: Lives off of protein shakes

Tesla: Sir, I keep telling you, if you want to bulk up, there’s another way!

Tesla: Just a little bit of contouring around the pecs and -

Nnoitra: PUT DOWN THE MAKEUP BRUSH BEFORE I BEAT YOU TO DEATH WITH IT TESLA


5. Yoruichi: Cooks well (unless she gets her human and cat palates mixed up)

Soi Fon: Y-Yoruichi-sama, these cookies are so…

Soi Fon: …

Soi Fon: …

Soi Fon: Tuna-flavored.

Yoruichi: Gotta stop shopping in cat form.

Soi Fon: You shop in cat form?!


6. Soi Fon: Judges recipes by their speed

Soi Fon: A true ninja can make two-minute eggs in half a minute!

Omaeda: So….basically just raw eggs then?

Soi Fon: …

Omaeda: What?


7. Hiyori: Yells a lot

Hiyori: PAPRIKA?! Who the hell keeps paprika just sitting around?!?

Kensei: It’s in the spice cabinet.

Hiyori: AND SINCE WHEN DO WE HAVE A SPICE CABINET?!


8. Kensei: Cooks beautifully

Kensei: Don’t have much of a choice, really.

Kensei: Since none of the other visored cook, someone had to step up.

Kensei: What was the alternative?

Hisagi: Day 57 of delicious pre-packaged ramen, here I come!

Kensei: …

Kensei: SHUHEI


9. Sasakibe: Tries to cook English food

Sasakibe: Sir, be honest.

Sasakibe: What do you think of my flavorless gruel?

Yamamoto: It’s…horrible.

Sasakibe: Nailed it!


10. Yumichika: Mostly cares about how the food looks

Ikkaku: Yumichika, be honest with me.

Ikkaku: What percentage of this dish is glue?

Yumichika: Mmm….probably a solid 30 percent.

Ikkaku: That explains why my throat feels like it’s closing up!

Yumichika: It looked really beautiful though.


11. Kurotsuchi: Nobody knows

Kurotsuchi: Nobody bought my cookies at the bake sale AGAIN this year.

Kurotuschi: Ridiculous.

Nemu: Maybe you should not have called them Poison Cookies?

Kurotsuchi: That was obviously a joke!

Kurotsuchi: The drugs in them would not have killed anyone.

Kurotsuchi: Nobody gets my sense of humor. 


12. Kukaku: Has her…own style

Ichigo: This is the most embarrassing cake I’ve ever seen.

Ishida: We can’t be seen eating this.

Ichigo: But if we eat it, then it won’t be here anymore!

Ishida: But then we’ll be seen eating it!

Ichigo: Not if we eat it really really fast!

Kukaku: Man, those boys sure are gulping down that cake!

Kukaku: I’m a cooking goddess.

Illustration done in occasion of the Tanabata festival, or the “Star Festival”. The legend narrates the love story of Orihime (correspondent to the star of Vega) and Hikoboshi (correspondent to Altair).

“Once upon a time, on the shores of the Celestial River lived the king of all the gods and emperor of the sky, Tentei, whose daughter Orihime spent her days weaving and sewing clothes for the deities. She worked so much that she didn’t have any time for herself. When she came of age, her father choose an husband for her: a young herdsman called Hikoboshi. He worked very hard too, his task was to herd the oxen across the Celestial River.

For the two lovers it was love at first sight. They were so in love with each other that they spent all their time together, forgetting about their duties. Orihime stopped producing clothes for the gods, and Hikoboshi’s herd wandered without control through the sky. This angered Tentei, and he punished severely the two lover. Orihime and Hikoboshi were forced to live separately, one on each bank of the river. The princess was desperate and cried uninterruptedly. Tentei, moved by his daughter’s tears, allowed them to meet again, but only once each year, the seventh day of the seventh month. Every year, a flock of magpies come and create a bridge with their wings so that Orihime can cross the river and reunite with her husband.”