• Percy: Honey?
  • Annabeth: What?
  • Percy: Where’s Riptide?
  • Annabeth: What?
  • Percy: Where - is - my - Rip - tide?
  • Annabeth: I, uh, put it away.
  • Percy: Where?
  • Annabeth: Why do you need to know?
  • Percy: I need it!
  • Annabeth: Uh-uh! Don’t you think about running off doing no daring-do. We’ve been planning this dinner for two months!
  • Percy: The public is in danger!
  • Annabeth: My evening’s in danger!
  • Percy: You tell me where my suit is, woman! We’re talking about the greater good!
  • Annabeth: “Greater good”? I am your wife! I’m the greatest good you are ever gonna get!
  • Thalia: And I guarantee his soldiers find this place.
  • Reyna: Not gonna happen. I rent it out under a shell corporation.
  • Nico: Yeah.
  • Reyna: My mail goes to a P.O. box in Queens.
  • Nico: Yeah.
  • Reyna: My neighbors think my name is Emily Goldfinch.
  • Nico: Oh, yeah.
  • Reyna: People I work with all think my name is Reyna Ramirez.
  • Nico: Yeah— wait, what?

Tony: So let’s start by talking about the emotions you’re feeling right now.
Bucky: Stabbing.
Tony: Stabbing… isn’t really an emotion, it’s more of an… activity. Which I hope you don’t do to me. See, an emotion is more of a feeling.
Bucky: Well maybe I feel stabby.

Hyper Click modernizes the SNES mouse ⊟

Mario Paint remains wonderful. But it’s one of the few SNES games that requires specialized hardware, and it’s not always possible to find the necessary mouse at the used game store of your choice, nor is it possible for all of these 20+-year-old mice to remain in working order forever.

So it’s unquestionably a good thing that Hyperkin has started selling its own SNES mouse accessory, the Hyper Click. Even more so because the Hyper Click is the superior product.

The original Nintendo device used circa 1960s ball mouse design. For the Hyper Click, Hyperkin updated the peripheral to a circa 1990s optical mouse, eliminating the need to clean gunk off of the ball or out of the contacts, and probably increasing accuracy, not that there’s much need for that with the SNES’s resolution.

As far as detailed impressions go, it’s a mouse! That plugs into the SNES! It does the mouse things! That’s the most important thing to know. Less critical but nice: the mouse is a weird, angular, gigantic thing, much bigger than the official version – but it’s way more comfortable than it looks! I was not expecting this weird-looking device to be as nice to hold as it is, especially in my tiny, baby-sized hands. So if you’re spending a lot of time deep in the Mario Paint, you should definitely pick one of these up for the sake of comfort.

And to demonstrate that the thing works, I drew up a Tiny in Mario Paint. I was going to hook it all up through the Retro Freak to the HDTV and take a screenshot, but upon reviewing this photo, I prefer the authenticity of this camera screenshot of a CRT television (with a permanent VIDEO display because I don’t have the remote to access the menu! Verisimilitude!).

I’m impressed that Hyperkin is putting in the effort to update these sort of one-off accessories. Thinking about the slow decay of the world’s SNES mice is actually kind of weirdly stressful, and knowing that there’s not just an alternative, but a better version, is a great comfort.

BUY Hyper Click mouse

Natasha: Just bring Tony to me.
Bucky: Well, he locked himself in the workshop.
Natasha Just tell him I said something.
Bucky: Said what?
Natasha Anything factually inaccurate.
[two minutes later]
Tony: I’m sorry, the sky is blue because it’s reflecting the color of the ocean?