To you...

           Sometimes, people don’t really know what is going on. Maybe even every single person in the world doesn’t really know what’s going on with the people they know. Maybe, they’re too busy thinking about what’s going on with themselves, or the politics, or the latest items in Forever 21. Nobody really knows. Do you know? Do you know what’s going on in your best friend’s life right now? How about your teacher you never listen to because the subject sucks? How about that cute guy or girl who smiled at you on your way home? Yes, you may know a lot about them, really, but do you think that the amount of things you know about a person shows you that you truly know them?

           Let’s say the person is you. No one really knows the true you, right? You tend to shut people out once they’ve struck a chord or went somewhere deeper than anyone would. People know your birthday, your address, the way you bite your nails when you’re bored or nervous, or the way you secretly buy books from this local bookstore by the street, the way you almost laugh at everything.

         But little do they know that you go home to a broken house, a broken heart, and sometimes ending up with a broken lip. That you hide yourself from non-existent monsters. Those blemishes under your jeans and sleeves you keep on adding. Your drenched pillow that never gets the chance to dry because you fill it up everyday. Your frame you want to remove because you think everybody’s beautiful but you. Your weakened body you push everyday to mask all your problems.

          Little do they know. Little do you know. Little do I know.

         Like I said, People don’t really know what is going on. And maybe, you’re too scared to trust someone so you keep it to yourself. And maybe, you always think that someone has it worse than you. No. Never underestimate what you are going through. Whether it be Physical, Mental, or Emotional pain. Pain is pain no matter what form it shows upon you.

         But on the brighter side, a person is still a person, and love is still love no matter how they show you. And your life is still life. You control it, you’re the author of your fairytale, you’re the sun of your world, you’re you. No matter how much people know about you, no matter how they look at you, YOU ARE YOU. And not even God can change that.

My Greatest Adversary: Love Painstakings

06-23-13 (Written at 5:35 pm)

          From then on, within me is a ruinous war that keeps on pounding my chest. Something that is strange, something not quite right. It is some kind of imprisonment. But it is much too painful even for a dagger stabbed right into my ever-beating heart. It causes me great pain that whenever the clock ticks, it forces me to give-up everything I keep on holding.

          I know this is love. Love that is a s deep as the abyss. I’ve drowned myself into this sensation, plunging through the very deep. Down, down, down I sank. I tried to keep my eyes open but I was blinded by my desire to have you. Right now, it is too late to struggle. No matter how I flap like a wounded stork, it is not enough to free myself from your waters.

          I love you and this is all I can do. I’m tired of the picture show and all I want is you The very you that would give everything I’ve been longing for so long. You’re all I need, my very dear.