This Dan Rather tweet legitimately made me tear up:
Every woman who raised me, taught me, nurtured me as a child was born into a nation that didn’t trust them with the right to vote. My early employers didn’t think women could do the job. All have been proven wrong. And the march for justice and equality will, and does, continue.
Chidi seems like the type of person who would have said, “I’ll sleep when I’m dead!” because he had too much work to do and couldn’t bear the idea of letting anyone down. And then he dies, and death is the most work he’s ever done in his life.
Can we talk about the phrase “don’t encourage their delusions?” And the subsequent attempt by whatever subculture is being targeted to prove that they’re not delusional? And how this affects actually psychotic people?
I mean, there’s a lot to unpack there. First off, when people condescendingly say “don’t encourage their delusions”, they’re far from having the best interests of psychotic people in mind. They don’t actually mean “don’t add to or confirm delusions”. They mean “ridicule, ignore or aggressively challenge “delusions””, none of which are generally good approaches to helping delusional folk.
Second off, it betrays the idea that everything that is “not normal” is “bad” and must be challenged. If someone isn’t hurting themselves or anyone else, then why are you so butthurt that their beliefs fall outside your category of “normal”? So what if they were delusional - why is it so bad to exist as a delusional person, and to talk about those experiences unchallenged? Especially if no one is getting hurt?
Thirdly, the people who aim “don’t encourage their delusions” at someone, whether this be at a trans person, someone who’s otherkin, someone who uses an extremely specific mogai identity, someone they don’t agree with politically, a witch, or whatever - do this because they believe the person in question to be ridiculous and bad, and equate this with being delusional.
Then on the other side of the fence there are the people defending themselves against accusations of being delusional. On the one hand this is completely understandable: Having your identity or beliefs be called a delusion is incredibly hurtful. And I 100% agree that this is a misuse of the word “delusional”. On the other hand there can be something uncritical in the way this lets people buy into the premise that “being delusional is bad - but I’m not delusional! So I’m not bad/invalid!”
…When in fact it doesn’t matter whether you’re delusional or not: You are STILL not bad, and your beliefs are not INHERENTLY BAD if they’re delusional, and it’s OKAY to talk about delusions, and it’s okay to exist and to believe in things that fall outside the norm whether they be of a more or less delusional nature or an accepted part of a sub-culture. (Bc the people throwing the word “delusion” around need to educate themselves on the distinction between delusions and subcultural beliefs..)
pretty green things for aros who struggle to connect with the green in the aro and aro-spec flags:
- succulents crowding a windowsill
- the blue-green of shallow streams
- moss clinging to ancient stone
- deep emeralds hanging from earrings
- ivy strangling a lattice
- inquisitive yellow-green eyes
- lush green velvet under your fingers
- palm fronds sprinkled with raindrops
- a pool in the centre of a grecian courtyard, watched by the face of apollo shaped in marble
- mint icecream scooped into a cone
- foliage filtering the sunlight green
- the green and white surface of a matcha tea latte
- dark green watercolours absorbed into paper
a wild bee appears! (& she promptly disappears again)
Apparently my last major update post was this one and hey everything needs an update there!!
Work now includes Significantly Higher Burnout, but I’m managing. The majority of my job can be described as “putting out fires everywhere”. Research is chaotic. Academics like to do whatever they want and figure it out later. My job is wrangling them all. It’s rough sometimes. I do still enjoy my work some of the time, just maybe not as enthusiastically and wholeheartedly as before. However, I have been pushing my bosses to let me get more involved in community outreach and science communication, and FINALLY I’m starting to be heard a little, so optimistic there. Got do speak at an outreach event this week and was very well received and it made me happy. My bosses still are incredibly appreciative and supportive of me, but also nobody actually knows exactly what I do so they don’t understand the underlying causes when I’m overwhelmed or stressed. However, I ask and I receive whatever I want, so I now have my own assistant. She is also my closest friend now and honestly the reason I am still a functional human being, in all aspects of my life. We spend more time with each other than anyone else in our respective lives, but in a good way.
I also have applied to become a volunteer at the local science museum because if I can’t get it through work, I still want to be sharing science somewhere. Haven’t finished that process yet (started with fingerprinting, then a few more steps), but YOU GUYS. THEY HAVE SCIENCE BIRTHDAY PARTIES. Gonna volunteer at those and meet all the children who are modern versions of me as a kid.
Beau is a majestic and noble petite gremlin, as always. We did agility training for a while and it was going really well. He made huge progress and really gained a lot of confidence and lost a lot of fearfulness. Unfortunately, the building that housed our agility gym was purchased by new owners who decided to replace the agility business with a pot growing facility. We’re still waiting for the agility folks to find a new location. But Beau is still doing great and he’s still crooked and I still love him more than all of everything in all of existence.
Supergirl moved to California! She moved in May, while I was in the Netherlands for a conference. (By the way, I went to the Netherlands! For free! Because work! The furthest I’ve previously ever been outside the U.S. was Toronto which is like 2 feet from the border.) She now has her own apartment, and she works for a non-profit tree foundation that works to increase “urban forests”. TREES IN CITIES. It’s perfect. She works on a program that provides free trees to anyone who asks. I get my free trees next month.
Where will I put those trees, you ask? AT MY HOUSE. THAT I OWN. BECAUSE I FUCKING BOUGHT A HOUSE LIKE A GODDAMN ADULT. I bought this awesome house that was previously owned by a tiny 85 year old Japanese lady with absolutely wild taste in wallpaper. She died a year before I bought the house, but obviously because I’m me, I looked her up and read her obituary and I love her. I named the house after her because honestly what else was I going to call it.
The last post had me trying to get a diagnosis and getting referred to ADHD skills class. Well. The teacher of that class is an incredibly amazing doctor, the best I’ve ever had. She made me her patient, gave me an official diagnosis (”I don’t know how nobody saw this because it’s very obvious!), and has been working on helping me with treatments and coping skills. Bad news, stimulants are not a great treatment for me. Well, actually Adderall was great in terms of helping my focus, but I also didn’t like or care about food at all while I was on it, so I lost 10lbs in 8 weeks and we were all concerned and stopped that. I also have been absolutely crashing in my depression over the course of this year, so she has helped me with a combination of meds that help me with my depression, sleep problems, appetite issues, and focus problems all in one nice cocktail. I also have been doing treatment classes like ADHD skills and stress management skills. I’m trying. My doctor actually listens to me and treats me like an intelligent and rational person, and provides me complete information about every option she offers and involves me in decisions regarding my own treatment. It sounds basic, but it’s fucking revolutionary and I love her so much.
Munchkin graduated high school and is now attending community college with plans to transfer to university. She might come live with me starting in January, which should be fun. Bugga is a senior in high school now too… All the smol people all grown up. (Well like sorta grown…. they’re both barely 5ft pretty much so a very tiny sort of grown up.)
I feel like those are all the main things… I’m putting some finishing touches on organization and decorating at the new house, but then I plan to take pictures of stuff and share those (along with the before pictures) because I love my house and I’m very happy with all the work I’ve put in to making it mine (and Beau’s) perfect place.
I’ll probably update again in a ridiculously long time. As always, if you followed me a long time and want to still know stuff, shoot me a private message and I’ll give you my other social media info for better staying in touch skills!