original two and a half men

Imaginary game sequels: Until Dawn 2

Plot: The Slate family is on a road trip, going from New York City all the way to California. While crossing through Iowa, their RV breaks down and they are forced to stay in a quiet, small town while waiting for repairs. While there, they begin to notice just how…bizarre the townspeople are. As the day turns into night and the town’s dark secrets starts being revealed, the Slate family will have to find a way to survive…until dawn.

Like the original game (which mixed two different horror subgenres together, the slasher and the many-monster flick), the first half of Until Dawn 2 will be dealing with the town, which is revealed to be a Satanic cult trying to summon a thing called “The Beast”. 

The twist is that it’s revealed the town was being watched over by a mysterious, government organization (like Marvel’s S.H.I.E.L.D. or the Men in Black) and that their goal was to capture this “Beast” for research purposes.

So it starts out as a town cult movie and then turns into a hybrid of a destroy-the-monster film and a government conspiracy film 

(think Children of the Corn / The Wicker Man meets Predator / The Blob) 


THE PLAYABLE CHARACTERS ARE: 

1) Millie Bobby Brown as Amanda Slate, Ethan and Moira’s middle-school daughter

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2) Mads Mikkelsen as Ethan Slate, Amanda’s dad and Moira’s husband 

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3) Michelle Fairley as Moira Slate, Amanda’s mom and Ethan’s wife 

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4) Iain De Caestecker as Michael Slate, Amanda’s older brother 

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5) Candice Patton as Kara Campbell, Michael Slate’s girlfriend 

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6) Brandon Soo Hoo as Kevin Oh, Ethan and Moira’s adopted son 

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7) Burn Gorman as Aaron Slate, Ethan’s drug-addicted younger brother and Amanda and Michael’s uncle  

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8) Dafne Keen as Angela Suarez, Amanda’s best friend from school 

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9) Martin Sensmeier as Noah Yazzie, an Iowan resident who befriends the Slate family and tries to help them survive until dawn 

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OTHER MAJOR CHARACTERS:

1) Jenna Coleman as Madame Elizabeth Hoover, the head of the town’s cult and the main antagonist of the first half of the game 

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2) Giancarlo Esposito as Agent X, the head of the mysterious government organization and the secondary antagonist of the game

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3) Mark Boone Junior as the mysterious stranger who explains what’s going on in the town to the Slate family before being killed off by the Beast 

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  • Elias: Well, I– I’d love to help you out, Mom, but, uh, I have a date tonight.
  • Mrs. Goldstein: So now it’s inflatable sex doll night at Dodger Stadium?
  • Elias: No, no, I really have a date. And– and the doll was a gag gift from one of my friends.
  • Mrs. Goldstein: Klaus, what about you?
  • Klaus: I tried it once, but I prefer a real woman

I want to talk a little bit about Nathan, the main character in the Half Bad trilogy by Sally Green.  

(Which means massive spoilers from here on out people )

I just finished Half Lost this weekend and first of all, I’m really glad to see that the final book in the series confirms Nathan’s bisexuality, even if he never uses the word.  There was something in the first two books that felt queerbaity to me and I was worried that all the teasing/flirting/kissing between Nathan and Gabriel could be one massive queerbait.  Especially since the conversation on goodreads and tumblr about the ship was giving me flashes of Dean/Cas, the most queerbaitiest ship to ever queerbait.  

Yes, Nathan was flirting and feeling things and kissing him, but 1) he got together with Annalise and the narrative of those two has a certain ‘meant to be together’ feeling and 2) the scenes where Nathan was returning Gabriel’s affection were written in in a way that left his true feelings in doubt.  Was he attracted to Gabriel romantically or sexually?  Or was he just a confused kid attention-starved for love suddenly unsure what to do with a friend who was in love with him?

So I was both pleased and surprised when Nathan chose to consummate a real relationship with Gabriel and even more so that it was built to take place over weeks and not just be a roll in the hay.

I really do wish that SOMEONE would have used the word bisexual to describe him, as that the entire series seems to take place not just in a world of witches, but in the magical world where the word doesn’t exist.  But I can grumble about the missing b word quietly considering there is a such a dearth of bi teen boy main characters in YA lit.  Especially in massively best-selling YA lit.  

But then we get to the ending….. oh that ending.  

Does Gabriel’s death qualify as Bury Your Gays?   Ehhhhhh, kinda?  

I can’t really say that I’m pleased with how the book ended.  I mean, there is a certain bittersweet romance about it, with Nathan turning himself into a tree so he can be next to Gabriel forever.  But you know how else they could have been together forever?  BY NOT HAVING GABRIEL DIE.  That would also have been peachy and romantic.  I’m not sure why the choice was made to have Gabriel die in that last minute of battle.  I think queer readers are sick to death of seeing queer characters get shot.  If Sally Green wanted to go with this whole ‘Nathan loves Gabriel so much he turns himself into a tree’ thing, why not have them live a long and happy life with partial custody of his son and then have Nathan turn into a tree when he’s old and Gabriel died of cancer or something?  Cuz that’s an ending you never get in queer media, the long happy grow old together kind.  

And I know the turning into a tree thing was supposed to be romantic and prove that Nathan and Gabriel had such a great love or something….. But it was also SUCH a massive character departure from everything Nathan had stood for in the first two books.  He had swore over and over again that if he had a kid, he would never abandon his son the way his father abandoned him.  A love that means Nathan chooses his dead boyfriend over his living son isn’t romantic, its kinda fucked up.  

Also, I’m not sure I like this implication that he loved Gabriel sooooo much that his death psychologically broke him.  I’m not disputing the trauma of watching the person you love die in front of you, but I do think that Nathan had been through a lot of trauma in the war, and there is something sad to me about him giving up on all his beliefs and his son just for a guy.

So in the end, the Half Bad trilogy gives us some good and bad.  Good being a bisexual main character and bad being one who never calls himself bi.  Good being a slow building queer romance and bad being another dead queer.  I’m not sure how I feel about that.  It certainly fills a hole in representation, though I wish it had been done better.  

- Sarah

The Real Issue With 'Ghostbusters' Isn't Sexism, It's Male Feminists

On March 3rd Paul Feige’s Ghostbusters trailer dropped to a hail of gunfire. Fans of the original movie (and quality films in general) were, naturally, appalled by just how Mad TV-esque the two and a half minute preview was. And many of those who weren’t fans of the original, and/or had no investment in the film at all, used this as an opportunity to highlight the fact that it was “men picking on women” yet again. “Baby men who don’t want girls in their boy club with their boy movies.”

These arguments are ignoring one core fact: the movie genuinely does look like a turd.

You sign onto Twitter, you log onto Tumblr, you check out your Facebook feed – on each and every platform you’ll see one prevalent voice: people defending this movie from the brigade of sexists tanking the trailer on YouTube and vocally criticizing it on social media. The only problem is… nobody has ever said, “This movie is going to suck because it stars four women.” Nobody.

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