Long days and even longer nights. The days are filled with homework and studying and the nights are filled with loneliness. All you do is think about Shawn. The two of you have been dating for about two and a half years and for the past two months Shawn has been on tour. First he began on his Handwritten promotional tour and then he just jumped right into the European leg of the tour.
You sigh as you roll over to look at the wall of your dorm room and gaze over the photos in the multiple collages you had made. Most of the photos are of you and Shawn. You sprinkled a few photos of friends and family, but because you are about an hour and a half away from home, you see most of them very often.
You trace the outline of Shawn’s face from a polaroid you had taken of him about a year ago.
Your phone rings from the only person that you want to talk to right now; Shawn. you unplug it from the charger and quietly step into the dorm hallway to talk.
“Hey baby, I was just thinking about you.” You whisper.
“(Y/N), (Y/N)…” Shawn begins frantically, “(Y/N) I can’t do this anymore.”
“Shawn baby, stay with me.” You plead. “Everything will be all right. Talk to me.”
“I just, the touring and the people and the constant questions and the photos and the judgement…. I just (Y/N), I can’t do this anymore. (Y/N) I need you.” Shawn says, you can tell if he is crying, but you can hear his heavy breathing.
“Shawn I know I haven’t seen you in a while, but you are always on my mind.” You whisper, “I can never be able to know what you are going through, but always remember that there is so much life ahead of you. It won’t slow down, no matter what you do. You are in a busy month right now and you just have to push through. You have to hold on and if you can’t do it for yourself, do it for me.”
You are lying in Shawn’s bed in his home town of Pickering. Your head is resting peacefully on his chest and his arms are wrapped around you. He draws circles on your forearm as the faint sound of John Mayer is playing in the background.
“Can I ask you a question?” Shawn murmurs.
“Always.” You reply as you look up towards him.
“What is your favorite song on the album?” He asks.
“Hmmm…” you think, “That’s a tough one. i have a lot the I love, but I think my favorite would have to be ‘Hold On’.”
“Why?” Shawn asks with a smile on his face.
“I think all of your songs have passion and meaning to some level, but when I listen to 'Hold On’ I just get this feeling that you are telling a true story.” You begin, “And I know that you and I have had a few conversations like that so I could kind of relate I guess.”
“Funny that 'Hold On’ is your favorite.” Shawn says.
“Oh yeah why?” You give him a puzzled look.
“'Hold On’ is about you.” Shawn begins and immediately your eyes well up with tears, “I have had a couple of conversations like that with my dad, but you are always the first person that I call. That conversation is a literal one that I had with you. Do you remember that night last spring that I called you? You say in the hallway with me and we talked for an hour in the phone? Well right after that I new I wouldn’t be able to sleep so I wrote 'Hold On’. Originally the song went ‘and my girl said Shawn stay with me’, but when I played it for the producers they had me change it to my dad.”
“You really did that?” You ask for while tears stream down your cheeks.
“Here,” Shawn says as he reaches into his table side drawer and pulls out a crumpled piece of lined paper. “This is the original lyric sheet. See it still says 'my girl’.”
You look at his hand writing and it’s true, he really did this for you. You knew that Shawn loved you but there was no better way to prove it. He gave you the paper that night and it hung on your wall for years to come, forever actually. Shawn expressed his love in many ways after that, but this was truly a gift and nothing could change it. You would never be able to listen to 'Hold On’ the same again.
The original lyric sheet I wrote “I Want My Innocence Back” on. Photographed July 28th, 2005, discovered today at random. Written in the break room of the real estate office I temped in to stave off ever-impending homelessness. Thank you to the #plaguerats of Germany for embracing me out of nowhere and changing my life. Thank you to the forces of cruelty that inspired this badass song, and the entire #Opheliac album. Thank you to Inky for recording it in his attic. Thank you to all of the Bloody Crumpets for marching on stages all over the world and performing this song with me 500 times. 🥄
On this day in music history: June 22, 1971 - “Blue”, the fourth studio album by Joni Mitchell is released. Produced by Joni Mitchell, it is recorded at A&M Studios in Hollywood, CA from January - March 1971. Issued as the follow up to ‘Ladies Of The Canyon", the deeply introspective album features songs reflecting on relationships, and comes in the wake of Mitchell’s painful break up from longtime boyfriend Graham Nash. Nash had proposed marriage to Mitchell in 1970, and she declines the proposal fearing the constraints that it will put on her personal and artistic freedom, after what she had experienced in her brief first marriage to musician Chuck Mitchell in 1965. Following her split with Nash, she flies off to Europe on vacation and writes many of the songs that turn up on the finished album. One earlier song titled “Little Green” (written in 1967) is a last minute addition. It is about the daughter she had given up for adoption, a fact that is not revealed publicly until they are reunited in 1993. The album is a major critical and commercial success upon its release and is widely regarded as one of Joni Mitchell’s greatest artistic achievements. The album is remastered and reissued on CD in 1997 (with HDCD encoding), restoring the original cover artwork and lyric sheet. It is also being reissued as a 180 gram vinyl LP by Rhino Records in 2009. “Blue” peaks at number fifteen on the Billboard Top 200, is certified Platinum in the US by the RIAA, and is inducted into the Grammy Hall Of Fame in 1999.
As depicted in Dengeki G,they have a traditional wedding, inviting their families, Muse, and Yukiho.. The wedding was really awkward for Nozomi, as she hadn’t seen her family in a long time. Before the wedding she got really worried about it, but Eli helped her settle down. When she finally faced her family, everything went fine, they were really happy to see her, despite their estrangement. Some of Eli’s family were confused by the ceremony, having little connection to Japan and moreso to Russia, but enjoyed the proceedings despite that. Muse were generally quite happy at the wedding, Umi struggled a bit with it, she was rather fidgety and awkward because of all the affection on display between the couple. But she managed to get through it (With Kotori’s help.). Although she’d never admit it, Nico cried as much as Hanayo.
At the start of the wedding, Nozomi and Eli came across rather calm and casual, but once proceedings got really underway they were both extremely emotional, both of them cried pretty openly, out of happiness of course. What really got them emotional was when the rest of Muse played Garasu No Hanazono for them, it really affected them, reminding them of how long they had been together and how far they’d come since they were part of Muse.
They decided to do the bouquet throwing thing, mostly becuase Nozomi found it cool. Nico tried her best to catch it (Although Maki subtly shifted her out of the way of it. By subtly, I mean she borderline picked her up and moved her away.) So instead, Yukiho caught it, though unintentionally. A lot of eyes were on her then, especially from Eli’s side of the family. She sort of awkwardly glanced at Alisa before slowly slinking away.
Most of Muse gave them Garasu No Hanazono themed wedding gifts. Honoka bought them a set of expensive glass sculptures (She denies having bought them with Tsubasa’s money, but she absolutely did.) Kotori made them matching scarves, she decorated them with the imagery of Garasu No Hanazono, flowers, butterflies, glass, mazes, etc. Umi and Maki worked together, framing the original written lyrics and sheet music for Garasu no Hanazono, wanting to signify its importance in their relationship. Rin and Hanayo put together a dvd they titled “The History of Nozoeli.” taking video footage Rin had recorded of them, both back in their school days and in recent years, and putting it together. Rin made sure to put in a lot of Lily White moments, so Eli could see how Nozomi talked about her when she wasn’t around (Very positively and very gayly.)
Nico initially pretended she didn’t get them anything, but later, (In private, she was too embarrassed to say anything in front of anyone else) spoke to them in a really heartfelt way, about how much they mean to her and how much better they made her feel after all the time she spent alone, having friends her age was a really significant thing for her, especially when leaving school. After their heartfelt conversation, Nico simply presented them with a CD, a solo recording of Aishteru Banzai. She used her resources as an idol to record it just for them.
Digging through boxes, found a stack of my original lyric sheets from the Opheliac album… This scrap of paper is the first time I wrote down this phrase from Let The Record Show. Before the Asylum, before I ever met you, before everything… But while I breathe..
On this day in music history: June 30, 1986 - “True Blue”, the third album by Madonna is released. Produced by Madonna, Patrick Leonard and Stephen Bray, it is recorded at Channel Recording in Los Angeles, CA from December 1985 - April 1986. After the massive whirlwind success of the “Like A Virgin” album and “The Virgin Tour”, the pop superstar does not rest on her laurels, beginning work on the crucial follow up at the end of 1985. Working with long time collaborator Stephen Bray and new producer Patrick Leonard (Michael Jackson, Jody Watley), the album is praised upon its release as her strongest effort to date, and is widely regarded today as one of the best albums of her career. It spins off five top five hits including “Live To Tell” (#1 Pop), “Papa Don’t Preach” (#1 Pop), “Open Your Heart” (#1 Pop) and the title track (#3 Pop). “True Blue” also marks the beginning Madonna’s long association with famed fashion photographer Herb Ritts who shoots the LP’s iconic cover photo. The original LP package also includes a poster of the album cover shot. As a promotion for the album, MTV sponsors the “Make My Video” contest, inviting viewers to submit their own visual interpretations of the title track. The winning entry comes from Angel Gracia and Cliff Guest, whose black & white clip is rotated heavily on the video channel. The pair are awarded a check for $25,000 by the pop superstar herself at MTV’s New York studios. The alternate video directed by James Foley, featuring Madonna with close friends actress Debi Mazur and fashion designer Erika Belle is shown largely outside the US. Madonna also supports the album with the worldwide “Who’s That Girl Tour” beginning in June of 1987. It is remastered and reissued on CD in 2001, with the extended 12" mixes of “La Isla Bonita” and the title track included as bonus tracks. The vinyl LP is reissued in Europe in 2012, including the original inner sleeve lyric sheet and poster featured in the original release. “True Blue” spends five weeks at number one on the Billboard Top 200, and is certified 7x Platinum in the US by the RIAA.