original big bang

  • Bucky: So what, you’ve already got Tony!
  • Steve: How do I have Tony? In what universe do I have Tony?!
  • Bucky: So I can have Tony?
  • Steve: Hell no!

Tony: All right, honey, look, we’ve known each other for a long time now, right? I’ve taken you to Disneyland, I kicked a Hydra goon in the nuts for you, I sing you Soft Kitty when you’re sick, you’ve even saw me naked once.

Steve: [stunned] I’m sorry, uh, what?

Tony: It was a long story. Anyway, Buckaroo, I promise I know what I’m doing. Please let me cut your hair.

Bucky: T'Challa, what do you think?

T'Challa: There’s not a hair on my body I wouldn’t let this man trim.

If you ever feel bad about yourself remember that if you were a fictional character people would probably love you for all your flaws and quirks and mannerisms that you probably hate.

  • [During Training]
  • Rogue: Sorry you got stuck with me. I bet you wanted to be with Jean.
  • Cyclops: Have you ever been on the same team as Jean?
  • Rogue: No.
  • Cyclops: have you ever been in a steel cage with The Wolverine?
  • Jean, yelling at Bobby: FASTER, FASTER, FASTER! DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT THAT WORD MEANS? IT MEANS MORE FAST!!
  • Camila: Well, you aren't legal until you're 18, and Lauren and I are a year apart and she was very insistent on waiting, but ya know, my birthday was earlier this month...
  • Dinah: Are you saying someday you and Lauren might actually get physical?
  • Camila: It's a possibility.
  • Dinah: [begins excitedly screaming]
  • Dinah: [excitedly grabs nearest person]
  • Ally: [is alarmed]
  • Bucky: What should I do then?
  • Steve: Just smile.
  • Bucky: [smiles]
  • Clint: Oh crap, that’s terrifying.
  • Sam: We’re here to cheer up Tony, not kill Batman.

Tony: Bucky, you’re back!

Bucky: Yeah, I just stopped by to…

[Tony grabs Bucky and kisses him]

Bucky: [taken completely by surprise] Yeah, so, hi.

Tony: Hi!

[Tony pulls Bucky into his lab and slams the door]

Steve: Damn it, I should have gone over and told him we were back.

Sam: [sarcastically] Yeah, it was first come, first serve.

  • Taehyung: I never thought i'd ever get the chance to give you this. Good job.
  • Jungkook: You're giving me a sticker?
  • Taehyung: Not just a sticker. It has a kitten that says "Me-Wow!"
  • Jungkook: I'm not a kindergartner.
  • Taehyung: Alright, I'll take it back.
  • Jungkook: Hey! I earned this, back off!
  • Bruce: I'm so sore; I don't think I slept two minutes last night.
  • Tony: [grins] Yeah, get it, boy.
  • Bruce: It's not what you think.
  • [Steve enters]
  • Steve: [to Tony] I feel like I pulled something. Why didn't you tell me to stop?
  • Tony: [to Bruce] Even more not what you think.

[Steve, Bucky, Sam and Scott are driving back to the Avengers compound]

Scott: Barnes, can I ask you a question?

Bucky: Sure.

Scott: [about Tony leaving with Wolverine] Are you bothered by the fact that your former boyfriend left the gala with what is probably the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen in my life?

Bucky: [grumbles] No. Why do you ask?

Scott: Because you’re going 120 miles per hour.

  • Dean: So what’d you think?
  • Castiel: It was good.
  • Dean: That’s it? Good?
  • Castiel: I enjoyed it. When you told me I was going to be *air quotes* “losing my virginity”, I didn’t think you meant showing me Raiders of the Lost Ark for the first time.
  • Dean: Sorry, I should have said you were about to have your world rocked on my couch. Anyway, thanks for watching it, it’s one of my all-time favorites.
  • Castiel: It was very entertaining, despite the glaring story problem.
  • Dean: ...Story problem? You, oh, Cas, what a clueless little angel you are. Raiders of the Lost Ark is the love child of Steven Spielberg and George Lucas, two of the most gifted filmmakers of our generation. I’ve watched it 36 times, I defy you to find a story problem. Here’s my jaw: drop it.
  • Castiel: All right. Indiana Jones plays no role in the outcome of the story. If he weren’t in the film, it would turn out exactly the same.
  • Dean: Oh, I see your confusion. You don’t understand. Indiana Jones was the one in the hat with the whip.
  • Castiel: No, I do, and if he weren’t in the movie, the Nazis would have still found the ark, taken it to the island, opened it up, and all died, just like they did.
  • Dean: *jaw drops*
  • Castiel: Let me close that for you.