origami talent

“There’s the door!” Banishing spell

“Don’t let it hit you in the ass on your way out!” :D

I work at a coffee shop/cafe. Oftentimes we get regulars that are a real pain in the ass– either they’re relentlessly rude or petty, sit and mooch our WiFi without buying anything, creep on our female employees, what have you. This banishing is for such nuisances that disturb peace of mind or bring in bad energy and disrupt your work. 

You will need:

  • The name or semblance of your target
  • A black ink pen
  • A red ink pen
  • One square of toilet paper
  • Black pepper
  • Vinegar
  • A toilet
  • A sigil which I will include below

Make a poppet by cutting out a human-shaped figure out of the toilet paper (or origami one if you’re talented like that). With the red ink pen, write the target’s name on the poppet (an initial’s fine). If you don’t know the target’s name, make it look like them. Charge the poppet with your irritations toward them, the disturbances they’ve caused, the ill will they bring every time you see them. Let it flow into the poppet.
Now take your black ink pen and draw the sigil below onto the poppet:

Rub the poppet all over with black pepper. Now take a cup (if the target is a customer at your place of work like mine, use the cup they drink from for their usual order. If they use a ceramic mug, use one of your own, or a water bottle, etc) and fill it with vinegar. Stir the poppet and any black pepper you may have left into the cup and let it soak for a bit. 

When you’re ready, take the cup with the poppet to the toilet. Hold the cup over the toilet and say the following:

You foul my air and disturb my work,

(name), no one likes a jerk.

Your welcome has been overstayed,

I send you off and on your way.

Leave like bad air through the door,

Go and bother me no more.

Pour the contents of the cup into the toilet. If you’re feeling particularly bitter, you may urinate/defecate over it as well. If the toilet has a lid, give it a good slam shut after you flush, like you’re slamming the door shut after them for good.

Later, if possible, get your target to touch something with the sigil on it. Write it on a napkin, the bottom of a disposable cup, or on the back of a receipt or bill that you will hand them.

Good luck!

Misc FAHC Ray Headcanons

-Trans Demiboy Ray, just saying, “70% boy 30% swirling vortex of doom-and weed”

-He doesn’t give a shit on how he presents, he’ll wear a binder some days and he won’t other days; he’ll be masc one day and feminine-ish…sometimes(he is a lazy man and lazy men can only afford putting on a shirt and jeans, but he does own skirts and etc)

-He paints his nails. and he can paint yours too. Steadiest hands = master nail painter

-The one time he wasnt the sniper in the heist, he printed out Dwayne Johnson’s face to wear as a mask. He proceeded to yell “DO YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING?” and opened fire. He’s never allowed to not be a sniper again.

-He wears two watches, not because he diddles, but in homage to someone. The crew doesn’t know who, but he whispers daddy(jokingly) at it sometimes. Fucker still doesn’t use them to tell time.

-He has a talent with origami. He tends to only make paper roses and his room is covered in them. The crew has tried to clean it up, that was the last time. 

-Even though the crew is freaking Rich this guy will dress up in things that look like it costed a dollar(shit, it was 99 cents). Says its more comfortable, and easier on the eyes. The only exception is when its ironic and memey material

-Some people in the crew have a beautiful singing voice, Ray is not one of them. He has only one way of singing, which is screaming. Whether it be at 3am or in the middle of heists. This guy has no control honestly. 

-Ray has skipped heists before, not because of anything serious, just because he needs to get all the achievements in the game he’s playing or just needs to get that gamer score. The crew groans 

-This guy just doesnt eat good. He’s like Matt, in the sense that his diet is only doritos and mountain dew. It was a diet done as a joke to show how hes “MLG af” but slowly just became his diet. Let’s not forget his need to drink caprisun(gotta respect the pouch alright). The crew has tried to get him out of this, it just can’t be done. 

-Remember those paper roses? Yeah, the only thing the crew has left of him is a field of paper roses. They refuse to clean it up. Even after Jeremy suggests it. Says it’s just a thing they’ve never done, seems important to them.

If you have a talented child...
  • Do not force them to make you things
  • Do not guilt them into making you things
  • Do not tell them that because you bought the supplies for whatever their talent is (origami/drawing/writing/etc) you deserve freebees.
  • Your child is an artist
  • Not an art machiene
  • Treat your child how you’d treat a famous artist
  • Would you force a Rennaisance artist to give you a free painting?
You've got to be shitting me.

I suffered through an 8 hour plane ride , only to end up here? Where the hell am I? Alcatraz? Damn.

Also; Hello, my name is Scarlett (hello scarlett), I’m 17 and my talents include origami, hating on 95% of the world, and judging all of you. It’s a pleasure I’m sure. Your pleasure not mine.