“Don’t let it hit you in the ass on your way out!” :D
I work at a coffee shop/cafe. Oftentimes we get regulars that are a real pain in the ass– either they’re relentlessly rude or petty, sit and mooch our WiFi without buying anything, creep on our female employees, what have you. This banishing is for such nuisances that disturb peace of mind or bring in bad energy and disrupt your work.
You will need:
The name or semblance of your target
A black ink pen
A red ink pen
One square of toilet paper
A sigil which I will include below
Make a poppet by cutting out a human-shaped figure out of the toilet paper (or origami one if you’re talented like that). With the red ink pen, write the target’s name on the poppet (an initial’s fine). If you don’t know the target’s name, make it look like them. Charge the poppet with your irritations toward them, the disturbances they’ve caused, the ill will they bring every time you see them. Let it flow into the poppet. Now take your black ink pen and draw the sigil below onto the poppet:
Rub the poppet all over with black pepper. Now take a cup (if the target is a customer at your place of work like mine, use the cup they drink from for their usual order. If they use a ceramic mug, use one of your own, or a water bottle, etc) and fill it with vinegar. Stir the poppet and any black pepper you may have left into the cup and let it soak for a bit.
When you’re ready, take the cup with the poppet to the toilet. Hold the cup over the toilet and say the following:
You foul my air and disturb my work, (name), no one likes a jerk. Your welcome has been overstayed, I send you off and on your way. Leave like bad air through the door, Go and bother me no more.
Pour the contents of the cup into the toilet. If you’re feeling particularly bitter, you may urinate/defecate over it as well. If the toilet has a lid, give it a good slam shut after you flush, like you’re slamming the door shut after them for good.
Later, if possible, get your target to touch something with the sigil on it. Write it on a napkin, the bottom of a disposable cup, or on the back of a receipt or bill that you will hand them.
Meet Ximena Alejandra Ryan de la Fuente. She’s 19 years old and kind of looks like Willa Fitzgerald. She is the daughter of Catrina de la Fuente and James Ryan. She’s a First year Education major and Photography minor.
Ximena: Catrina’s middle name.
Alejandra: Catrina’s favorite girl’s name.
Goes by: Xime / Ale
Like her mom, she’s an eternal optimist and defender of the underdog; like her dad, she likes to say corny jokes and loves to eat pie 24/7. Xime is extremely bubbly, naive, and sensitive; she certainly didn’t inherit any of her parent’s strong tempers, but she sure as Hell has their undying, unyielding sense of loyalty towards those she cares about.
You’ll always catch her wandering around campus, either taking in the sights or willing to make friends with whomever crosses her path…and give free hugs, she loves hugs.
Her “hidden” talent is origami, she can make literally anything out of any piece of paper she finds in her hands.
Ximena loves learning and helping other’s out with their homework, she absolutely adores going to school and, even in the subjects she’s not particularly fond of, she knows there’s something important that can be learnt. She doesn’t consider herself a nerd, but a knowledge enthusiast. She’s the girl you go to for spare supplies if you’re ever in need of a pencil, or notebook, or Post-It notes.
She absolutely loves horses, and horseback riding is the only activity that doesn’t let her usual clumsiness shine through. She has a horse named Topaz. Her dad was the one that taught her how to ride, but her mom was the one that helped her out of her fear of falling while doing so.
The Ryans de la Fuente (Siblings): Xime loves her siblings to death and she always loves spending as much of her free time with them as possible. She looks up to Jaime, feels protective over Zach, and knows that Kat is the eternal PB to her J.
Rogers/Frost/Icens/Skellington-Dorante /Sullivan/Maldette/Tremaine-Maldette (Family): Biological or not, every single one of them holds a special place in her heart. There’s nothing she enjoys more than going to family gatherings, hanging out with her cousins and eating all of the delicious food that’s being prepared.
Sebastian Rider (Best friend/Crush): The one that always picks her up when down (emotionally and literally). Xime’s never bored around Freddie and she’s just amazed at his untameable spirit, and the fact he can stand her dorkiness. As of lately, she can’t help but feel all giddy around him.
Aileen Dunbroch (Best friend): Xime knows she can trust Aileen with anything, and she’s the one she goes to when she needs an adventure or something cool to laugh about.She admires how talented the redhead is. Xime feels they were sisters in another life.
Jo Sullivan (Best friend): Her partner in crime. Whenever they’re together, trouble will arise, and so will the amount of giggles. Xime loves having sleepovers with the blonde. Jo is the one that always reminds her that there’s only one life, and it has to be lived to the fullest.
Ava Tucker (Best friend): Xime thinks Ava is one of the most interesting, kindest people ever. Her mind is always running whenever she’s around the girl, because there’s no topic that’s ever out of reach. It helps that they’re both clumsy and awkward, they’re connected.
Eva Kouri (Best friend): They’re study buddies. Eva’s sense of curiosity always pumps Xime up to seize the day. If there’s something the blonde loves to do, is seeing her friend’s pictures, for they have Photography in common and always go on trips to make their portfolios even bigger.
Persephone Speros (Close friend): Xime loves hanging around the girl, she feels as if Sephie really “gets” her. They both see the world with big rose-colored glasses. In Sephie she finds some sort of shelter, she’s grateful to have such a kind friend around.
Nellie Stone (Close friend): She looks up at Nellie’s confidence and fashion sense, it’s virtually impossible for Xime to ever be sad or bored when she’s around the other girl. One of the things she loves the most about their friendship, is that they both share a passion for photography.
Mason Boggs (Close friend): Xime quickly became attached to the outgoing, friendly guy; she absolutely adores his energy. Although at times she can’t exactly pinpoint what Mason is thinking, she always makes sure to help him smile as much as he makes her.
Fleur Biest (Close friend): She absolutely adores her fellow blonde, Xime gets excited whenever she gets to see any of Fleur’s art or hear any of her beautiful poems. Xime finds her one of the most creative and inspiring people in her life.
Kit Andrews (Close friend): It didn’t take long for Ximena to join the redhead in some kind of outdoors adventure. She adores Kit’s spirit and shares his love for animals. She too is always eager to hear out whatever song he comes up with on his guitar.
Gwen Von Schwartz (Close friend): If there’s someone that understands Xime and her hopeless romantic spirit, it’s definitely Gwen. In her she found a kind, caring friend whom she loves to support and hear sing. She feels their friendship strengthens each other.
Stephanie Barril (Enemy): Ximena doesn’t hate or dislike anyone…but she would be lying if she didn’t admit that Steph makes her feel uneasy and overly anxious. She tends to avoid her most of the time, sometimes, to no avail.
-Trans Demiboy Ray, just saying, “70% boy 30% swirling vortex of doom-and weed”
-He doesn’t give a shit on how he presents, he’ll wear a binder some days and he won’t other days; he’ll be masc one day and feminine-ish…sometimes(he is a lazy man and lazy men can only afford putting on a shirt and jeans, but he does own skirts and etc)
-He paints his nails. and he can paint yours too. Steadiest hands = master nail painter
-The one time he wasnt the sniper in the heist, he printed out Dwayne Johnson’s face to wear as a mask. He proceeded to yell “DO YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING?” and opened fire. He’s never allowed to not be a sniper again.
-He wears two watches, not because he diddles, but in homage to someone. The crew doesn’t know who, but he whispers daddy(jokingly) at it sometimes. Fucker still doesn’t use them to tell time.
-He has a talent with origami. He tends to only make paper roses and his room is covered in them. The crew has tried to clean it up, that was the last time.
-Even though the crew is freaking Rich this guy will dress up in things that look like it costed a dollar(shit, it was 99 cents). Says its more comfortable, and easier on the eyes. The only exception is when its ironic and memey material
-Some people in the crew have a beautiful singing voice, Ray is not one of them. He has only one way of singing, which is screaming. Whether it be at 3am or in the middle of heists. This guy has no control honestly.
-Ray has skipped heists before, not because of anything serious, just because he needs to get all the achievements in the game he’s playing or just needs to get that gamer score. The crew groans
-This guy just doesnt eat good. He’s like Matt, in the sense that his diet is only doritos and mountain dew. It was a diet done as a joke to show how hes “MLG af” but slowly just became his diet. Let’s not forget his need to drink caprisun(gotta respect the pouch alright). The crew has tried to get him out of this, it just can’t be done.
-Remember those paper roses? Yeah, the only thing the crew has left of him is a field of paper roses. They refuse to clean it up. Even after Jeremy suggests it. Says it’s just a thing they’ve never done, seems important to them.