organic machine

Concept: Alternian washing machines are organic critters that douse clothes in digestive bile, the chemical composition changing based on whatever settings you enter + what other chemicals you add in

Pros: your clothes will be incredibly clean

Cons: putting in the wrong setting means it will literally eat your clothes

???: there’s probably a setting you can use to get rid of a body and leave fresh clothes behind

Living for my days off so I can tackle this mess of a desk.
Have way to many projects and way to many great ideas for even more. Gotta figure out a better way to organize things… any suggestions would be awesome. I prefer analog to digital, apps and websites don’t really work for me.
But it is getting a tiny bit overwhelming.

Queen of the Gas Station
Lana Del Rey
Queen of the Gas Station

Give me coffee, king size cup
Come on kitty cat, fill her up
What’s your name little buttercup?
That’s for me to know and you to make up

Love casinos and neon reservations
But baby if you love me, take me to the gas station
Gas station

Look at you smoking in them neon lights
Under the thunder yo, you like so nice
Made me wonder how you spend them nights
Me, I spend them looking for men you might like

Like you
Like you
Like you
Like you

Love casinos and neon reservations
But baby if you love me, take me to the gas station
Take me to the gas station

Give me coffee, utah love
I’m the kinda girl you dream of
I’m trying to tell you what I dream of
And that’s gas stations
The slurpee machines and organs playing
Preferably, with smoking inside
If you can swing it (swing it, swing it, swing it)
Can I be real pleased if we could find one just like here again
Again, again, again, again, again

Love casinos and neon reservations
But baby if you love me, take me to the gas station
Gas station

Gas station
Gas station
Gas station

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Camels In Australia

Professor Ω5-029′s lectures were always packed. People from all across the campus, planet and galaxy came to their lectures, both organics and machines, both present and digitally.

The professor walked up to the stage, its six metallic legs efficiently climbing onto the stairs. It walked through the holographic screen, and began pointing at a map of the galaxy.

“Today’s lecture we will be focusing on this little blue and yellow ball right here. 45.2-3″ the professor said and the entire lecture hall cheered. The professor was the best expert on the newly discovered life-filled planet.

“Specifically, we begin in this landmass on the southern end of the planet’s rotation. Today it is connected to the rest of the landmass through this elevated region right here, but our models of 45.2-3′s past show that as late as 300,000 years ago, this wasn’t the case. The entire landmass was isolated from its neighbors through waters that required advanced shipping technology in order to traverse.”

“And yet…” the professor pointed at a location in the corner of the hologram. The image zoomed and moved into the center. A large four-legged furry animal with big jaws and three humps was seen. “The ancestors of the Amberois Calutalus, or the Camel as the media has been calling it, have been able to cross this gap with ease. Their descendants still walk the many deserts of 45.2-3 to this day.”

“Professor, are you saying the Calutalus used to be intelligent?”

“Most certainly. We’ve known for a long time that 45.2-3 used to house intelligent species. From the layers of artificial plastics found in rock formations as late as 1,000,000 years ago, to the spread of different animals across oceans they couldn’t have possible crossed on their own, to the radioactive isotopes that suggest nuclear fission plants, it was obvious.” the professor continued to show pictures of the planet’s rocky layers and many diverse deserts.

“However, it was only recently that we discovered for certain that the Calutalus were the species that built all these wonders. From the remnants of what we suspect were ancient Camel villages and roads, we found wide-rimmed passages perfectly designed for the slow crawl of the Calutalus.”

“And of course, the final piece of the puzzle.” the professor pointed to a picture of a black rock. “This rock was the powerful fuel through which the Camels transformed their planet into a paradise. They used this to pump the atmosphere with greenhouse gasses, raising the planet’s temperature. They chopped entire forests and destroyed fertile soil which managed to kill off all of the many jungles and grasslands that were in their way.”

The professor showed an animation detailing the expanding deserts of the planet. “They succeeded in expanding their home desert to the entire planet. After which, their work was done, and their descendants could live in peace in the desert they created for millions of years to come.”

The entire lecture hall clapped, but one organic student raised their arms. “But professor, wouldn’t it be possible that 45.2-3′s desertification was an accident, caused perhaps by another species?”

“That’s a good question, but we’ve already ruled it out. No species smart enough to land vehicles on their moon would be stupid enough to transform their entire planet into a desert if deserts weren’t their natural environment.”

Come to think of it, the classic “Robot looking at a schematic in the centerfold of a magazine like it’s porn” gag is infinitely more fucked up than at face value. It’s a disassembled (oftentimes exploded) diagram of the internal organs of a machine. That’s not Playboy, that’s hardcore robot guro.

How to create realistic villains

The bad guys, who doesn’t love them? 

With this post I’ll help you create a villain using three special traits to make them realistic and believable. But villain doesn’t equal antagonist. Antagonist is a character that goes against the protagonist’s goal. Villain is a character with bad morals, or evil. In most stories, the antagonist and the villain are the same person. Some antagonists, however, are good characters, or just doing their job.

Example of antagonist:  Alex Mahone from Prison Break, he was a major antagonist, but anyone out there to catch T-Bag is a good person.

Originally posted by scofields

Example of villain: Yubaba from Spirited Away, she is the bad witch that steals Chihiro’s name and controls the bathhouse with authority. Not only she goes against the protagonist, but she also has bad morals.

Originally posted by animebigworld

In this post I’ll focus on villains. Alright, before we talk about those three special traits, we must consider the most common types of villains out there. I can think of seven:

- The Beast: They are driven by their instincts. They are not necessarily evil, but wild, sometimes hungry as well. Attacking the protagonist is in their nature.

Example: Zombies (The Walking Dead)

Originally posted by isabellakiss

- The Machine: Robots, computers, artificial intelligence, this type of villain obeys commands and logics only. Attacking the protagonist is in their source code.

Example: T-800 (The Terminator)

Originally posted by terminators

- The Master Mind: Smart, intelligent, strategist, sly, genius, prodigy. They have the intellectual control over the situation, they can anticipate the protagonist’s every movement. Attacking the protagonist is essential for the achievement of their goals.

Example: Mother Gothel (Tangled)

Originally posted by everytanglehasastory

- The Lunatic: The crazy ones, psychopaths, sociopaths, evil just for the pleasure of being evil, evil for love, they enjoy what they do and how they do it. Attacking the protagonist is fun.

Example: Tate (American Horror Story: Murder House)

Originally posted by are-you-ready-for-therapy

- The Supernatural: Vampires, demons, spirits, ghouls, gumihos… Just like the beasts, they are following their needs, but not necessarily by instinct. They might be conscious of their actions. Attacking the protagonist is in their nature.

Example: Rize (Tokyo Ghoul)

Originally posted by tsugumi-sekai

- The Henchman: Skilled at killing, they are obeying orders for money, honor, power, prestige or even personal needs. Attacking the protagonist is an order.

Example: Prince Zuko (Avatar: The Last Airbender)

Originally posted by meezumaki

- The Bully: Social pressure and internal conflicts drive them to torment others. They are moved by dominance and social status, sometimes to vent their piled up anger. Attacking the protagonist is part of their routine.

Example: Victoria Chase (Life is Strange)

Originally posted by a-slightly-mexican-slurping

Try fitting your villain in these types. It will help you visualize and understand them better.

So, what are those three traits to make villains realistic? Here they are:

- Goal: Just like the protagonist, they also need a goal. They also have a journey ahead of them. They will face hardships, they will fight, they will win, they will lose, they will try their best at every moment. If you give goals to your protagonist, give goals to your villain. If you give powers to your protagonist, give powers to your villain. If you give tragedy to your protagonist, give tragedy to your villain. Villains are not above the law. Make them as miserable as you are making the protagonist. More, more miserable. 

Originally posted by leialovesdarcy

- Complexity: Think of their background, how they became bad/evil, how they understand the world. Think of your villain as an organic creature (except for machines), imagine their daily life, visualize and talk to them. Give them as much attention as the protagonist receives. Some villains are weak because they were given no attention. Remember, the Yin Yang are equals. Love your villain, don’t hate them. That’s the reader’s prerogative. Love your villain. 

Originally posted by p8-lee

-  Heroic: Every villain is the hero of their own story. Give them heroic features as well. Give them softness, give them weakness, give them fragility. Maybe they love/loved someone. Maybe they fight against, but respect the protagonist. Maybe they just want to retire. Maybe they like ice cream. Allow your reader to find a speck of light in the villain’s soul. It’s easier to fear someone that can be both soft and cruel.

Originally posted by allinye

Making it simple:

- Create a realistic goal for your villain

- Create their background and personality

- Create their weakness/softness

“I’m forging an alliance between us and the Reapers, between organics and machines, and in doing so, I will save more lives than have ever existed. But you would undo my work. You would doom our entire civilization to complete annihilation, and for that, you must die.”

- Saren Arterius (Mass Effect)

Send your love with these truly disgusting Cronenberg Valentine’s Day cards

They make a tasteful reminder to your significant other that you are both but flesh machines, organic matter carrying out essential biological impulses, and that even your so-called “love” is but an insignificant, fleeting impulse when compared to the the vast mysteries of the human unconscious mind and the cosmos itself. :)