organic chemistry joke

Girl, You Got Me

Request: Cuddling with Mat Barzal

Word Count: 1104

A/N: I need more Mat in my life because he’s a cutie and I would love for this to happen tbh ugh.

Title: You by The Native Architects

Just because the Islanders are at the top of the division, it didn’t mean they wouldn’t have rough games, you understood that well enough. When Mat came home after the 3-1 loss to the Bruins, you knew he would be tired, worn down, and frankly upset that he didn’t play well - at least, his version of “not playing well”. He had an assist but no shots on goal and you knew he would be pissed that they let that game slip by.

You hear a bag drop by the door, shoes being kicked off, then the footsteps grow louder before they quiet, hitting the carpeted floor of your bedroom. He finds you in your shared bed, reading from a textbook for school, trying to cram in some last-minute studying before your exam tomorrow. You look up from the chapter you’re reading and watch as Mat throws himself on to the bed, face buried in his pillow without making a sound.

Keep reading

How Many Professors Does It Take To Set Up A Rotovap?
  • Organic Professor 1: Setting up a rotovap is an essential part of organic chemistry.
  • Organic Professor 2: Have I got the coils on tight enough?
  • Inorganic Professor: Those are nice rotovaps.
  • Organic Professor 2: They're the old ones.
  • Inorganic Professor: They're still nice.
  • Organic Professor 1: Is it spinning?
  • Organic Professor 2: I have spinnage.
  • Inorganic Professor: Spinach.
TOP TEN SIGNS YOU'VE BEEN IN ORGANIC CHEMISTRY WAY TOO LONG

10. Every time you see a stop sign, you shout, “Cyclooctane!”

9. You accidentally called your dog Benji “Benzene.”

8. When you saw the Red & Black headline about that weird UGA student, Ioulia Zaitseva, the first thing you thought was, “Hey, Zaitseva—like Zaitsev’s rule!”

7. You can draw some of the compounds listed on your shampoo bottle.

6. It’s becoming all too common that when you write the word “chemistry,” you start it with CH3.

5. (FILL IN YOUR OWN CLEAVAGE JOKE HERE.)

4. You’re so delirious from studying late every night that you’re thinking maybe the final won’t be so hard.

3. Your best pickup line is, “I can’t spell nucleophile without U!”

2. You’ve added words like “snarf”, “goober”, and “honking” to your everyday vocabulary.

1. To be politically correct, you’ve started referring to fat people as “sterically hindered.”