Temperament: Attitude: Quirks: Priorities: Philosophy: Good habits: Bad habits: Positive traits: Negative traits: Weaknesses: Strengths: Proud of: Embarrassed by: Fears/phobias: Secrets: Regrets: Angered by: Calmed by: Most at ease when: Ill at east when: Soft spot:
In a crisis: Under pressure: In awkward social situations: Can s/he keep a secret?: Independent or needy?: People are inherently…: Spiritual beliefs: Day or night?: Pessimist or optimist?: Big picture or small details?:
Important events in life: Short-term goals/hopes: Long-term goals/hopes: How s/he feels about self:
Likes/Dislikes: Food: Drink: Color: Animals: Chores: Season: Expletives: Other
Imagine you’re in a museum where…everything comes to life at night!
(yeah, yeah, bite me) You get lost and the staff closes the place so
you’re stuck overnight! and a big, brawny, hairy caveman finds you and
carries you back to his exhibit to be his mate. he breeds you very
pregnant and you swell quickly in order to birth… but then the sun
rises. and you’re full term with a big but inanimate neanderthal baby
inside you. the guards find you trying to sneak out and you attempt to
So you, rotund and full of wax caveman baby, are cast out by the museum
staff and have to waddle to a bus stop to go home– if you’re female
someone might give up their seat, but who would do that for a man “with
just a beer belly”? And you know that you’ve got to sneak back inside
that museum and stay there, hiding from the security guards and cameras
with your huge pregnant gut, so you can birth once the sun goes down.
And then of course… not get impregnated again…
after birthing, you realize that it’s not just the caveman who’s horny.
all the exhibits have to spend hours standing still and not getting off,
and some are even locked in their exhibits behind bars or glass, and
you realize the security guards never patrol alone–they just watch the
cameras so they don’t get fucked. but you’re alone and can clearly be
bred, and there are lots of lusty eyes upon you as you try to leave…
How come Matsuyo would refer to the brothers in this order, although in Osomatsu San it’s entirely different? It sounds a bit weird if the brothers just suddenly switched birth order as they grew up, perhaps matsuyo mistaken their order as kids? and as they grew up, it just seemed that they noticed or realised the real birth order? Or maybe this is the real birth order and Osomatsu san is just misinterpreting it?
So what are the headcannons for Togruta babies? Out of curiosity?
For the sake of being quick, lemme just throw some bby Togruta headcanons at you!!
They are all little chubbins. Togruta mamas breastfeed, and a togruta diet is high in natural fats, cause carnivores. So, baby Togruta (kittens, for the sake of simplicity) are really chubby.
Speaking of chub, most kittens two lekku are almost perfect ovals. While they’re sensory organs, they’re also storage for fat for Togruta cause sometimes the tribe goes long periods without food, so kittens are just butterballs
Togruta mamas make a wide variety of sounds to their kittens. Because their montrals are very soft in order to pass through the birth canal, they don’t have proper hearing until they’re about a year old, which is why their language skills tend to be a little on the slow side. So, instead of speaking to their kittens, they do things like chirp and mew and purr. The noises tend to be lower, and cause vibrations in their chest and lekku, which is soothing for the lil babs
Kittens are sharp little things. Their little newborn claws are like, needle sharp, and once they have their little baby teeth, they can maim almost anything. Mamas only survive their babies because of the hormones that are released while bonding with them numbs out the pain, but most end up covered in little scratch scares because of it. It’s considered a thing of pride in Togruta culture, means you’re a good mama
When they have a full tummy, newborn kittens purr insanely loud. They’re essentially deaf, so they have no clue how loud they are, but you could easily hear them from the next room over. The vibrations form purring also help digest their good, so it’s a win win scenario of cuteness
Because of being a social species, Togruta kittens absolutely love playing games with older members of their ‘tribe’. As soon as they can crawl, the best thing to do with kittens is use a laser pen pointer. They’re nothing but determined squeaks and purrs, it’s absolutely adorable.
Kittens will stick everything in their mouths, mainly to practice their biting technique and the locking of their jaws. Not a good thing if your house isn’t baby proofed, or if whatever is within chubby grasp might be maimed.
According to research by the FBI disorganised serial killers have a number of statistically common traits that are taken into account when developing a criminal profile. Disorganised offenders tend to have the following characteristics:
“I am going to castrate you, you hear me Sonny?!” The excruciating pain you’re feeling is beyond imaginable. It’s not only your lower stomach, but also your back and your legs.
Unprotected sex, they say. It’ll be fun, they say. You want to smack everyone who ever said that. Especially Sonny for letting his boys swim.
Sonny chuckles and kisses your hand. That irritated you even more.
“We are never having sex again, Sonny!” Tears are rolling down your cheeks. You’re mentally whispering to your baby; for him to come out already or at least be less aggressive with the process.
“I will enjoy chopping off your dick!” You screech as another contraction smacks you. Sonny chuckles and kisses your hand again. He sweeps the hair away from your sweaty forehead.
“Go to your happy place, baby.” You scrunch your nose, wanting to screech at him again. Instead, you close your eyes and pictures the family you’re building with your husband. It’s distracting you from the pain, although each contraction slams you back to reality.
‘Just think of your beautiful baby boy,’ you internally say. He’d probably resemble Sonny more than you. Oh how you wish he’d get Sonny’s optimism.
The doctor struts in, taking you out of your daydream. “Mrs. Carisi. Are you ready for the bundle of joy?”
ok check this out right, this is The Great Skewing of AA Ships, in reverse chronological order by birth chunks for convenience.
Athena, Juniper (2009)/ Pearl (2010)/ Trucy (2010/11)
Because this category is all girls, Athena’s introduction is literally her being a Doting Gal Pal™ to Junie, Trucy and Pearl being psychic kid buddies is canon iirc? it’s a good time all around. There’s two years between the oldest member of this batch and the youngest, and as far as i can tell like no male character who shows up more than once belongs here.
Simon, Maya, Franziska (1999) / Ema (2001)/ Regina Berry, Kay, Klavier, Sebastian (2001/02)/ Daryan (2002)/ Nahyuta (2003) / Apollo, Clay (2004)
okay so im gonna kick this off with the only “”feasible”” m/f pair I can see here, fey///quill. Don’t get me wrong, Maya is a lesbian through and through (imho), but for [straight person voice] argument’s sake: there’s a lot in terms of a potential relationship there? Maya would think Simon as equal parts too cool!!! and too dedicated….. and they would both collect steel samurai trading cards, dont even lie to yourself. This makes 300% more sense than….. the other simon one. look inside yourself.That being said!!!! I don’t think they’ve even met, really. Timelines have always been kinda ehhhhh and if capcom wanted this we would have had it down our throats, especially now that they’ve existed in the same game. I want them to be friends.
ANYWAY look at all of those girls. I admit Regina is only there because she tried to apply to be Kay’s gf in the yatagarasu but aside from her, any and all of them have met. They’re an ot5 or less depending on personal preference, and honestly any combination of the girls (especially if you exclude Regina, who’s only here on two technicalities) stands as plausible. This is compounded by all of these girls in particular being popularly depicted as lesbians!
aaaand the back six. I admit Daryan shouldnt be here but he’s put with Klavier sometimes and he’s also an asshole. That’s something I’ve seen in fics sometimes so there he is. Anyway. Outside of that and, obviously, Brothers Nahyuta and Apollo, it’s fair game here too? everybody else has a ship with apollo and that’s just the start of it, the only person I’ve genuinely seen never shipped with anybody is Sebestian.
ANYWAY i’m personally partial to the fan favorites of this generation in terms of the boys (klapoll/o + simon and nahyuta) but im always down to throw clay into the former for the truest ot3. this is my Unneeded Opinion™ to close the category.
Phoenix Edgeworth and Justine (1992-93)/ Larry, Dahlia, and Iris (1993)/ Bobby Fulbright (1994)/ Adrian Andrews (1994/95)/ Maggey and the wonderful couple The Delites (1995-96)
it’s worth noting that the established grand larceny power couple were both born at the same time, that’s cute. also, Adrian is just here for reference against Franziska, who’s in the next chunk chronologically, and Bobby is here for reference against Simon, who is the same. (*deep breath* black/bright….. what could have been…….) also maggey is here to go up with gumshoe but i dont even remember where that dude is.
This technically isn’t a complete chunk. Lang is born in ‘91, in between this batch and the last one, but im making the list and the rules.
Not much to say here except bi phoenix is pried from my cold dead hands? right. Also i’ve never seen justine/ edgeworth in my life and i appreciate that in retrospect, although im sure it exists.
Diego (1985)/ Thalassa, Gumshoe (1986)/ Lana (1987)/ Mia, Calisto Yew (1989)/ Aura Blackquill (& presumably Metis Cykes) (1990)/ Lang (1991)
i put the interpol furry in this half as opposed to the last one because calisto yew had us both going and i Love to Suffer c:
anyway the only romantic cyke///squi///ll i need in my life ever is Metis and Aura. Metis doesn’t have a birthday so im taking things into my own hands there but even if i wasn’t she’d be around here somewhere.
Observable phenomena: lana and mia were born consecutively and are big lesbians…… i should talk about diego here but i won’t, lemme save it for the end, i have conclusive proof mia is a lesbian.
Datz, Valant, Ray (1982)/ Dhurke (1983)/ Katherine Hall (1985)
ok this is kind of the point when things start getting irrelevant but we have the rebel leaders who were probably a ship? i havent done much fandom-ing wrt soj and also ray and kate who is like. the only person in his own age rage that he hits on. ray wyd stop being a creep.
There’s a 13 year difference between badd (1958) and faraday (1971),
making them the largest age difference ship with any traction in my heart. The
gap between Gumshoe and Maggey is ten years? wow.
Morgan’s birth is approximated, but she’s a maximum 3 years younger than Greg (1966).
Most differences of 6ish years (Miles and Franziska, Phoenix
and Maya, Athena and Simon in the outlying 12 year case) are portrayed as
siblings (I mean I guess the latter two are my humble onion but. C’mon.)
Thalassa is closer in age to gumshoe, Katherine Hall, Lana
Skye, and Diego Armando (to name a few, there are more) than Zak Enigmar. There
is no documented birthday for Jove Justice, but if he was older than twenty
when they were married, the same holds true for him.
Defense attorneys aren’t suited to each other! As far as i can tell nobody with a badge on their lapel tries to date anybody else with the same.*
Co-counsel doesn’t date!*
(*my idea that mia is a lesbian is vaguely rooted in this since mi/ego is the only thing that goes against it? and that ends badly! it turns out she didn’t feel that way for him and she realized that once he “died”, so hc that she only said yes to him to see if it would go anywhere/heteronormativity/realized she was a lesbian after dating him)
anyway every other co-counsel relationship is literal siblings or someone and Mr Wright.
this got even longer than i was expecting but as a closing remark because of the story’s format and timeline we have a particularly large amount of gay ships! like the particular focus that the game casts upon the relationship between wright and miles, klavier and apollo, particularly NOT simon and athena, considering how similar the “i became a lawyer to save you!” narrative is to p+m and yet the story is about her mother, is about coming to terms with their own trauma etc, siblings, anyway. i’m done now.