orchestra room

Practicing
  • Me playing in an acoustically terrible room: have I always sounded this bad??? Is this real??? Have I only imagined six years of practicing??? Help???? Do I deserve to have this instrument?? Why is my tone so dry and flaky like the bald scalp of an old white man???
  • Me playing in an acoustically excellent room: FUCK YES nobody can stop me now!!1!1 I can play hot cross buns in here and I bet New York Phil would beg me to come be principal. Hear that tone. That smoothness. Smoother than a baby dolphin. I'm unstoppable nobody will notice any of my mistakes time to show off and intimidate the freshman

me: *walks outside the band room with my French horn*

random student: OMG nice trumpet!

me:

The Signs in the Practice Room

Aries: Tearing up sheet music, bending over stands, screaming in sheer frustration

Taurus: Staring longingly out the window

Gemini: On their phone, texting their friends: OMG I am SOoOOooOo BUSY  PRACTICING! I GTG b/c I am SUCH a GOOD MUSICIAN!!!!

Cancer: eating food 

Leo: just sits there because….ego

Virgo: *Breaks instrument in half*

Capricorn: They wouldn’t even be in the practice rooms to begin with 

Sagittarius: SCREAMING FOR SEVEN HOURS STRAIGHT

Scorpio: Actually practicing

Libra: Looks like practicing but isn’t doing anything productive

Aquarius: Sobbing about their life in general

Pisces: Literally on the floor crying over scales

The instruments when they're about to graduate
  • Flute: cries at everything. hugs everyone goodbye, even the music stand
  • Oboe: at first they're not that sad, but then it ~hits them~ and they just start sobbing
  • Bassoon: doesn't even notice that its the end of senior year. they're just excited for school to be out
  • Clarinet: strangely sad about their math class being over
  • Saxophone: gives the director the middle finger on their way out the door
  • Trumpet: will not fucking shut up about college
  • Trombone: finds the incoming seniors to make sure they keep the weird section traditions alive
  • Horn: *gross sobbing*
  • Euphonium: frantically trying to not fail english
  • Tuba: reassures school tuba that they love it. hugs tuba.
  • Percussion: pranks the band director
  • Violin: living embodiment of "i'm not crying, you are"
  • Viola: brings director chocolates and heartfelt thank you card
  • Cello: stays late in the orchestra room to soak in the ~aesthetic~
  • Bass: lol bye see ya suckers
I’ve been breathing evil air
Sharing needles with the sky
Looking up remembering
Regina said they’re just old light.
But you somehow understood
My oversaturated skin
You held your hand up to my neck
And played me like a theremin
I see London I see France
And all the things that we won’t do
And if I never leave this chair
Maybe I can go with you.
—  Amanda Palmer & The Grand Theft Orchestra-The Living Room

some weird shit thats happened at my school

  • a gun went off during lunch
  • recently two people were caught having the sex in the auditorium balcony and were suspended
  • a girls ex had cheated on her and she went to confront him or something and he grabbed her wrist so she dumped a bottle of water on his head. a teacher saw and ignored it
  • the assistant principal was caught (by a student) having sex w a security guard during a school dance a few years ago and is still there
  • kids get high a lot in the practice room thats connected to the orchestra room. the teacher probably sees the smoke billowing out when they open the door but she really does not care
  • we have tunnels that go beneath our school so people skip class in those
  • theres a staircase to nowhere
  • I went into the bathroom once and there were people having sex so I just walked out
  • last year a girl gave a guy a handy underneath a crowded table during lunch

Hey you got some sun today
And on my handlebars you look great
I really mean it
Cause no ones got moves like that
And grace like that
Through all the panic

Will you just sing to me
Cause Claire when you sing
you sound like a southern girl in sunday dress
I wanna kiss you
I need to calm down
I wanna be a good American Boy

But sin follows me and all my friends

I need to concentrate
Get my hands on some Ritalin
And plan my days constructive and legitimate
And go-oh-oh only places I feel comfortable
My grandpa fought in World War II
And here I am afraid to leave my room

And I’ve seen ghosts and family
And my sad family
And all of the faces between
I promised myself long ago
I’d never try that
And I’d turn out to be a good American boy

But sin follows me wherever I go

Hello Grandpa I’m gonna need ya to get me through this phase
With the heart of California and the second grade
I’m guessing I should waste the time
Enjoy the sunshine
So many reasons I shouldn’t complain
But I could never put words to the way I’m feeling
Milk and Cookies will help me escape
I guess that’s what I’ll do