Wayback Wednesday - Popculture Nostalgia - ORBTIZ

You remember Orbitz, right? The “textually enhanced alternative beverage” that debuted in 1996?

God, I loved these things.

Well… I loved to hate them. They were gorgeous and made great window decorations if you were 12 or a stoner. They didn’t even taste all that bad as long as you hadn’t left it in the sun. >.>

But the weird edible balls of goo that somehow didn’t sink to the bottom of the bottle were just heinous. To this day I cannot bring myself to try bubble tea because of the association. Wikipedia tells me that they didn’t sink because:

The small balls floated due to their nearly equal density to the surrounding liquid, and remained suspended with assistance from an ingredient known as gellan gum. The gellan gum provided a support matrix—something like a microscopic spider web–and had a visual clarity approaching that of water, which increased with the addition of sugar.

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But I think we all know the real reason: magic. Dark, evil magic.

My friends and I made our parents buy them for us like crazy for the brief time these things existed but no one really liked them all that much. You had to drink them through your teeth to avoid the little balls of nastiness. I guess the concept of straws was beyond us.

And really, if your product can be described as having little balls of nastiness you shouldn’t really be surprised when it gets pulled from the market.

If you really need to experience this, try this current auction for the Orange Vanilla flavour. Fourteen year-old questionable drinks should still be good! … no guarantees.

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