orange looks so good on u tho

actual things the signs have said to me
  • Aries: *talking about minion dildos* No way, capitalism is not goin in my ass
  • Taurus: HOW DO YOU LIVE YOUR HOUSE IS A FUCKING HOBBIT HOLE Jesus fucking Christ, anyway, do you have any popcorn or not because I brought some if you dont
  • Gemini: ALL of the fucks are gone apparently there are none in my wallet I cannot find them. be free my fucks
  • Cancer: ....Onions are like ogres... they make you cry? but how can we so unfairly judge ogres what if they're like shrek and they're just trying to lead a humble, honest life
  • Leo: NOT SMOLL I AM NOT SMOLL. SHUT. NOT SMOLL !!! YUO ARE RHE SMOLL HEER LETS FI Te
  • Virgo: today I bought a shrek mask online because it was $2 and I had a gift card it's a little big though but it was on sale
  • Libra: I was with you even BEFORE conception sooooo obviously I'm not fake
  • Scorpio: ....And yeah so to sum it up, basically they were gonna have a knife fight over me and my dad said I couldn't go with boys anymore. I could've joined the knife fight and won tho
  • Sagittarius: there's an orange on the ceiling ! look ! why aren't you looking ? it's really up there haha!! JAY KAAAYYYYY is this what being dead feels like....can u feel death tho
  • Capricorn: these cheese balls don't even taste good tho? they're supposed to be premium brand I'm??? you know what fuck this I'm gonna move to Canada and become a lesbian and change my name to Lesley and only eat apples forever. im #DonE
  • Aquarius: that feel when your school plays dubstep wii music over the announcements for five minutes straight #goals
  • Pisces: YOU HOE HES LOOKING STRAIGHT INTO THE CAMERA DO SOMETHING HE SAW YOU IM GONNA CRY HE SAW YOU BINCH