or-iron-man-for-that-matter

anonymous asked:

I've just read about Tony feeling unwanted and man, it breaks my heart! Could you write something about Tony having enough? Like, he feels that Team Cap thinks they don't need him, they don't appreciate him and they never did. So he leaves, he doesn't stop being an Iron Man, but leaves Avengers. Maybe he has his own team with Rhodey and Spidey and whoever else. Maybe he helps Defenders from time to time. Maybe he works alone. (1)

But the point is, even if Avengers think that they don’t need him, they really do. Because he did so much for them all this time. Like, when SHIELD fell, he and his company invested them, repaired their equipment and made new one, took care of PR and media. And they never even knew, or just never cared, until he left. Now they have no one to replace him and to be as efficient as he was. They’re just too close to failing apart.(2)


I can and I most certainly will! All those angst-filled headcanons from yesterday didn’t just make me want to curl up under a ton of blankets to hide from the world, they also, they also reminded me how freaking bitter I still am. So yeah, hope you don’t mind, anon, but I thought your ask would be the perfect way to kick off bitter Sunday!

Because we’re talking about Tony Stark, guys. We’re talking about the man who build a suit of armour in a freaking cave. Who got kidnapped by the bad guys and blew his own way right back out. Yes, he’s hurt. Yes, he’s fucking heartbroken. Yes, most days the weight of his own mistakes and failings almost crushes him. Yes, being confronted with the team he was never allowed to belong to he lost is rubbing salt into the slashing wounds that still haven’t healed, bleed sluggishly from time to time.

But.

There’s a line he’s drawn into the sand a long time ago, back when he first became Iron Man, and it matters. He does what is expected of him. Shakes the returning Avengers’ hands. Smiles for the cameras. Is quoted stressing that he supports the UN’s decisions, that with the new and revised Accords in place, there’s no room for old grudges and vendettas. And he means it. What he doesn’t say though, is that there’s no room for old friendships and favours either.

Truth is, Earth needs as many heroes as possible. It needs them in once place, with stable communication channels, capable of working and strategising and organising together. The exiled Avengers are a rare resource they can’t afford to waste. There is also the fact that being trust back into the limelight limits them in a way working from the shadows doesn’t, forces a vague but still present sense of accountability on them that Tony may or may not take a great amount of pleasure in.

But here’s another, much more fortunate truth: they don’t need to be a team to save the world. It’s a truth that’s been hanging over them from the beginning, back when Iron Man wasn’t a part of the Avengers because he didn’t have to be for the plot to work. In retrospect, Tony can appreciate Fury’s actions for the well-played moves they were.

So he does what he would have done years ago, if not for sentimentalities and a misplaced sense of loyalty holding him back: he cuts the wire.

With the new accords has come a committee and a new governmental agency in charge of handling the nationally and internationally operating enhanced strike teams. Tony uses this development to his advantage, separates his business from the agency entirely, because really, a billionaire shouldn’t own parts of an organisation designed to keep him in check.

Tony signs the new agreements and as Iron Man he is to be deployed whenever necessary, but he is no longer part of any team. And he makes a point of proving that time and again.

When members of his ex-team are involved in a fight he wasn’t, he refuses any comment on the actions, they are none of his business after all, and really, shouldn’t you ask the people who were actually there? He doesn’t get involved in group press conferences unless there are more than just the ex-Avengers present because presenting a united front as enhanced humans is one thing, presenting a united front with them is another thing altogether. 

He doesn’t build weapons, suits and other improvements for anyone but himself and the people he deems worthy of his gifts either–those designs have always been too dangerous to be allowed into the hands of a government agency, and none of his former team mates make the cut onto the trusted list anymore. 

He doesn’t interact with them anyways, unless it’s on the comms during a fight or via a representative or his official email account (his private contact information is no longer available to them). All his employees knows better than to give them access to anything non-public without a properly scheduled meeting, and even Pepper doesn’t disagree with him on this one. She’s the one that usually shows up on these meetings anyways, and she doesn’t give them an inch, because there’s a reason Tony hired her in the first place.

And it might have started out as simple avoidance and being petty but you know what? Tony’s doing pretty damn well on his own. He doesn’t need the team, he’s always known that, but proving it to himself ends up feeling surprisingly good. Empowering. Freeing even. 

Because even though it feels like that in the very beginning, Tony isn’t actually alone. He’s got Pepper, with whom he’s slowly working out the post-failed-relationship-awkwardness, and Rhodey, who’s recovery is a slow, painful process but still a process, and loyal, steady Happy. He also has Peter, who’s too eager and reminds Tony too much of himself, but who doesn’t leave or get bored by Tony’s enthusiastic rants. He’s got Harely with whom he face-times at least once a week to science and chatter.

He’s got people who care about him and enjoy spending time with him, and the more time passes, the more Tony realises how not-okay his relationships with his former team have really been, how not-okay he’s been. And he still misses them, from time to time, but it’s the fleeting yearning for a missed opportunity, not the heartbreaking free fall into a bottomless darkness it used to be.

The point is, Tony is in a good place. Without the team that never wanted him. 

(And on days he still feels a little down, watching that Youtube clip of a tiny, three-year old girl in an Iron Man t-shirt throwing her ice cream at Steve Roger’s face with devastating accuracy, the one that cuts off right as the older brother is shown laughing so hard tears are streaming down his face and assuring his indignant little sister that yes, he’ll get her a new ice cream, he’s very proud of her standing up against bullies, is surprisingly cathartic.)

Preferences: Your first kiss- Marvel

Steve

Your first kiss with Steve started off slow with Steve not entirely sure how to react slightly worried that you weren’t enjoying the kiss, but he found his confidence when you kissed back fervently, the kiss turned deep and passionate your mouths moving in sync with each other as Steve ever the gentlemen let his hands rest on your waist and yours went up to tangle themselves in his gorgeous blonde hair.

Tony

Tony and your’s first kiss was surprisingly not wild or rough like you had imagined the one and only Tony Stark/Iron Man would do no matter who it was but instead he placed a gentle sweet chaste kiss to your lips lovingly whilst gently running his hands through your hair

Bucky

It was a complete accident. One minute the two of you were sitting and talking calmly in the stolen Quinjet as Steve piloted it, the next the jet swerved to the right suddenly throwing Bucky on top of you as your lips collided together. You tried to pull away but stopped when you felt Bucky pressing his lips to yours and pin you underneath his body with his arms. You kissed back quickly and soon the kiss became heated and you only stopped when you heard Steve’s surprised yelp to find the two of you making out.

Sam

It happened after the two of you had been on a run together, you had mischievously squirted the remainder of your water over him went to run again when he grasped your wrist and you pulled you close smashing his lips on yours for a few moments before pulling away and laughing at your now red cheeks

T’challa

The first kiss between of the two of you was hesitant both of you still unsure if this is what the other wanted but once you both realized that this was in fact what both of you wanted you deepened it slightly. It was a slow kiss but it was filled with passion as the two of you tried to stay in the beautiful moment for as long as possible.

caught web handed - peter parker

hi!! this is my first imagine and it’s really sucky but i hope everyone enjoys it.

request: no
warnings: kissing??


“truth or dare?”

you and your best friend, peter, sat on the opposite sides of a bowl of popcorn. a typical friday night for you two would of been spent with him fighting off a bank robber in queens, while you stopped a mugging in brooklyn. moments like these, however, were to be cherished. the daughter of a multi millionaire stark, and new york’s favorite vigilante, hanging out in the avenger’s tower.

“dare,” your eyes rolled as you dug your hand in the almost empty bowl.

it’s not like you didn’t enjoy the little things, but peter and you had been at it for an hour. you both knew absolutely everything about each other, and there wasn’t many things you haven’t done, being crime fighting superheroes by dark.

“come on,” peter groaned, popping the last piece of popcorn in his mouth. “dares aren’t fun when there’s nobody but us.”

“truth, then.”

peter leaned closer to your face, a few inches separating your lips from touching.

“alright,” he grinned, tossing the now empty popcorn bowl across the room. “how likely do you think it is that your dad will come home and find us?”

before the words could tumble out of your mouth, you were lifted up on peters lap, hands flailing to rip off his sweater, lips molding against each other. the television playing in the corner of the room was payed no attention, neither were the footsteps approaching the door.

now, tony stark envisioned he could of been welcomed home in a variety of ways, none of which involved two shirtless teenagers kissing on a bed.

“excuse me, spider-boy, watch where you put those hands.”

you jumped off peter’s lap in shock, grabbing your shirt from the floor and covering yourself, your boyfriend doing the same. there was no telling what your dad was going to do to peter, but you knew that even the friendly neighborhood spiderman was no match for tony stark.

peter was left with no choice, and did the only reasonable thing a boy could do in the situation, which was to quickly apologize and beg for forgiveness. your dad rolled his eyes before turning around, muttering how much he despised teenagers and their constant shenanigans.

breathing a sigh of relief, you leaned your forehead against peters. for a few moments, everything was silent and peaceful, before tony’s voice boomed through the speaker in your room.

“if a certain spiderman would like to continue to wear a certain suit, i would advise for him to get out of my daughters room, before a certain iron man has to take matters into his own hands.”

before you could say goodbye, peter was running out the door, leaving you to shake your head, pulling your shirt over your head. your fathers wrath was to be dealt with later. for now, all you could do was be grateful to him for the opportunity to fall in love with your peter parker.

Awakening - Part 3 *Peter x Stark!Reader*

Prologue Part 1 Part 2

Requests Open~~  MasterList *Always updating with new chapters*


When the dude in the spandex showed up, you can guarantee that both Matilda and I were surprised. “Who the hell are you?” I questioned, still in shock. 

“Name’s Spiderman. You haven’t heard of me?” He sounded slightly surprised and……disappointed? I tried to rack my brain, but the name wasn’t ringing any bells. 

“I’m going to kill this ass.” I heard Matilda shout about the soldier and both Spiderman and I quickly turned to face her. 

“No!” We said in sync and I could see Matilda was losing her patience. Suddenly, the man…boy? He sounds like he could be my age.  I thought when he sprung into action.

 He shot out a web and snatched the mans gun away and went to prepare to jump forward to kick him when I noticed Matilda’s expression. “Oh no no no no.” I cursed and grabbed Spiderman, pulling him back. 

“Hey! I have to save your friend” He shouted in surprise, looking at me as I forced him back, but I shook my head. 

“No. I’m saving you from her anger problems!” I protest and point to Matilda who was shaking. “Cause dumb Hydra soldier #301 or whatever thought it’d be smart to stab her.” 

“What?!” Spiderman turned and watched Matilda whip her head around and glare at the soldier as a dark mist formed at her feet.

The black mist surrounded the soldier and we could see him choke and fall to the ground. 

“Holy Shit! What was that?! What did she just DO!?” Spiderman cursed in shock, staggering back, unsure what to do in this scenario. “I’m calling Tony.”

“No, don’t call-” I start, but Matilda teleports back beside us and interrupts me.

“That would be perfect. We need to speak to him” She spoke and I think I saw Spiderman’s soul leave his body. “ And don’t try any of that web shit with me. I won’t hesitate -”

“Matilda! Let’s not threaten our only ally!” I stop her by covering her mouth and turn to him, “Please we need to see Iron Man! It’s a serious matter.” I try to convince him.

“Why should I take you to him?!” He said incredulously and turned to point at Matilda, “She just killed someone!”

“It was a Hydra soldier. Calm down.” Matilda rolled her eyes. She tugged at her long hair. “I can’t even fight properly with this.” Spiderman turned back to me, flailing his arms in an exasperated manner. 

“Who even are you people?” He asked tired and confused. It was obvious this fight with Hydra had been going on for a long time.

“That’s between me and Tony” I answer and giving him a desperate look I plead “If what I believe to be true is true, then he needs to know.” 

Spiderman sighed and muttered something. Probably has a communicator. 
“You’re lucky Tony is super curious.” He tells me and my heart soars.

“Thank You!” I jump and hug him. I feel him stiffen, but he hesitantly wraps his arms in the hug. 

“Yeah. Please just don’t make me regret it.” He whispered and I could tell he was nervous about Mattie.

“I won’t.”


Iron man sent a car for me, Matilda, and Spiderman to get to the compound. I watched as we pulled up to the large complex. This is insane I thought looking around. I glanced over to Spiderman, who was endlessly fidgeting the whole ride. He had taken off his suit, but decided not to tell us his real name, claiming it was because of superhero reasons. He did look to be my age and that made me curious where he came from. The car stopped and we got out to face the compound. I saw Iron Man and some other people standing next to him. 

He gestured for Spiderman to come to him and Spiderman jogged towards him. 

As they talked, Matilda and I fell behind. “Are you doing okay?” I asked her, seeing the blood that stained her shirt, “Is it still bleeding?”

Matilda shook her head, and lifted the shirt slightly. “I heal fast. You do too.” She told me. “The one gift Hydra gave us.” She joked. 

I nodded slowly and looked at the others, “So you know who they are?” I asked. I knew she had way more knowledge than I do, my mind is still scattered. 

They’re the Avengers” Matilda stated and we saw one of the blonde ones next to a man with longish brown hair look back at us. “They’re supposed to save people like us. Hydra’s lab rats.” She looked up at me, “But the metal arm one and the red head is thinking of ways to kill us.”

“Wonderful. At least we may have Spidey on our side” I state and kept a straight front, but on the inside I was freaking out. How am I gonna keep both of us safe. Or them safe from us.


A/N: Here is part 3. Sorry if it was a bit slow, I’m doing extra classes to get ahead in Uni, so balancing it with work is interesting to say the least. We are finally getting to the group dynamics and I decided I want the avengers to be whole, including Bucky, cause the broken family dynamic hurts my soul. Tagging for this series is open! Thanks a bunch!!

Gifs aren’t mine.

Tagged: @nagynomi98 @superwholockian5ever

anonymous asked:

Prompts 4,16, 18 if you don't mind with tony protecting his little sister from an ex?

Pairing/Characters: Tony Stark x Reader!sister

Summary: When reader is confronted by an angry ex, Tony doesn’t hesitate to stand up for his little sister.

Warnings: Swearing, mentions violence, Black Sabbath lyrics.

Word count: 500

A/N: Thank you anon for sending this request! I used this prompt list, keep sending requests, i  love to hear your ideas!! I hope you’ll like this!! 


“Has he lost his mind?

Can he see or is he blind?

Can he walk at all

Or if he moves will he fall?”

Looking up at your brother you chuckled “You’re not seriously going to sing the entire walk home, are you?” Tony ignored your comment, and sang even louder:

“Is he live or dead?

Has he thoughts within his head?

We’ll just pass him there

Why should we even care?”

“Tony people are staring. Stop!” You said getting embarrassed by your brother’s behavior. “They’re staring cuz I’m Iron Man, sissy.” He stated matter-of-factly. “Although I don’t really see anyone staring. You’re getting paranoid (Y/N)” You poked his side, causing him to squirm. “Everyone is staring. Take those guys for instance” you said pointing to the group of guys standing outside a club.

Recognizing one of the guys, you gasped. Tony gave you a funny look, before he saw what you were staring at. Stopping in your tracks, you locked eyes with your ex, Damian. “Shit” you muttered as he began to walk towards you.

To say that things ended badly is an understatement. Damian and you wanted different things. You weren’t looking for anything serious at the time, but he wanted more. He was pissed when you broke it off.

“Hey! (Y/N) fancy seeing you again.” He said approaching you and your older brother. You forced a smile, and gave him an awkward wave. “Who gave you that black eye?” You asked, not surprised. He always got in a fight. He shrugged it off, and looked up at Tony. His face fell. You knew this wasn’t going to end well. Damian never met Tony, since you weren’t serious with the guy.

“Who the hell is this? My replacement? I didn’t think you were that easy (Y/N)” Tony stood in front of you, shielding you. “I’m better looking than this guy! C’mon (Y/N) the guy has a fucking goatee! What I wasn’t good enough for you? I this why you broke up with me? You fucking whore.”

“Hey, don’t you dare talk to my sister like that, punk” Tony raised his voice at your ex. ”I’ll kick his ass if you want me to” he said over his shoulder. “Go ahead”

The look on you ex’s face was priceless. Tony cracked his knuckles and walked towards Damian. “Whoa, I..I didn’t mean anything…I…god…I’m sorry” He stumbled backwards with a terrified look in his eyes.

Tony took a swing at him, hitting him dead center in the face. ”Oh, I’m sorry.  Did I hurt you? It’s okay to cry…” Lining up for another blow, Damian scrambled to his feet and ran off.

Tony clearly satisfied with his own effort, put his arm around your shoulders. “You can thank me later.” He said with a smirk. Rolling your eyes, you continued on your way home. You groaned when he stared singing again.

“Heavy boots of lead

Fills his victims full of dread

Running as fast as they can

Iron Man lives again!”

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[fic] Enough

Summary:

Asexuality. The word gave him pause. It felt strange to name the absence of a desire.

Notes: 3800 words on the life of asexual Tony Stark. Loosely set in the 616, but there’s some MCU influence in there too. Also posted on AO3.


It had started, Tony thought, with that damned chest plate. When he’d decided to dedicate his life to something more than himself, to be something more. In all honesty is was a snap decision, made of emotion more than logic. It was the right thing to do, and all questions about how he would actually achieve it were secondary. He would never claim not to be impulsive.

Keep reading

“you are ignoring the social system of oppression that…”

“It doesn’t matter if you personally didn’t attack me because…”

“But whether you want it or not you benefit from the oppression of…”

“You could never understand this because you are”


“If you are not the person whose rights are in question then you should shut up, your opinion is not wanted”

“Anything that an oppressed minority does to you is justified because they had to put up with abuse from whom you personally benefited even if you don’t know it”

“Sorry I’m late!” Kuroo bursts through the door of the flat, a plastic bag full of groceries in each of his hands. Snow is hissing behind him, a storm of white flakes trying to claw its way into the warm house. Kuroo manages to slam the door shut with his foot before dragging the groceries into the kitchen. “Kenma?” He calls out while searching the bags, only putting away what belongs in the fridge and then wandering through the flat with a packet of sandwiches. “Ken-”

The door to Kenma’s room is open. Kuroo moves closer, taking a peek inside, making sure that his steps are loud enough to not startle his boyfriend. “May I come inside or is it alone time?”

“You can come in,” Kenma replies from inside. A blanket rustles, and Kuroo recognises the noise of a gaming console being put onto the nightstand. “Welcome home. I missed you.” It’s only with those words that Kuroo pushes the door open and comes inside. Kenma is under the blanket, curled up, lips forced into a thin smile. A jolt of pain flies through Kuroo’s chest. 

He’s by Kenma’s side and underneath the blanket within seconds. “What’s wrong? Talk to me. Are you havin’ a bad day?”

Kenma bites his lips and nods. Sometimes Kuroo hates being right, hates knowing the reason that tears well up in Kenma’s eyes. “How can you still l-love me when I’m,” Kenma begins. His voice is so tiny, wet, shivering, and Kuroo immediately acts. He carefully slides his hands below the blanket, tickles his fingertips along Kenma’s soft waist. “Mhm.” Kenma closes his eyes, hums, a hiccup following as he smiles through the tears. “Kuroo.”

“I couldn’t not love you,” Kuroo says. “I don’t care if you look different.” His fingertips are reverent when they paint invisible patterns of gentleness onto Kenma’s lower belly that has gotten bigger and softer after he’s stopped playing volleyball in college. “I love you in any shape and age, I love you with wrinkles and grey hair and with blind eyes or a bigger stomach. I’d kiss you until we both couldn’t breathe anymore, no matter what. You’re always - just.”

“…I’m your K-Kenma?” 

Kuroo nods. His neck is wet where Kenma has buried his face, and his chest hurts a bit because short nails dig into it through his Iron Man shirt. But it doesn’t matter. Kenma’s stomach is warm and beautiful below his touch, and the hiccups stop. “Okay?” No, it’s not. He knows. It returns, and it takes time to heal.

But Kenma looks up with eyes as golden as sunlight, kisses Kuroo’s mouth until both of their heads are dizzy, and then he lets his own fingers slide down to tickle the trail of hair on Kuroo’s stomach until both of them laugh, grin, smile.

rivertoforever  asked:

Rin, do you have any headcanons for how the members help Jungkook de-stress or vice versa?

OHHHH YAY HEADCANONS! Okay, I kind of need this too right now tbh. I’ll do both ways since they’re too cute to pass up ^_^

*When Kookie is stressed because he feel like he needs to always be perfect, all the members will notice. They’ll make a point to shower him with praises and affection the whole day until Jungkook genuinely smiles. 

*Jimin and Taehyung will pull him into their games and make sure he’s never alone to dwell on his insecurities. When they’re playing video games together, they’ll praise Kookie for winning or playfully whine that Jungkook is too good. They’ll allow him to tease and push them around a little more than usual because they know that’s how Jungkook is. And if they scold him for being him, they know that Jungkook will be incredibly hurt and probably take awhile to open up again.

*Yoongi and Namjoon will invite him to their studio. This is a really significant action because to them, their studios are the places where they can be by themselves. It’s a part of them. By having Jungkook come with them, it’s like opening a part of themselves to the maknae. Jungkook understands that and appreciates their effort. They can spend hours working on music and that’s a soothing kind of day for Jungkook if he’s feeling overwhelmed. 

*Jin and Hoseok are all about spa days where they pamper Jungkook to the fullest. They get Yoongi’s permission to use one of his bath bombs (”Of course, it’s for Jungkook-ah. Take care of him.”). They wash his hair and give him a gentle massage. Then while Jin cooks them a whole feast, Hoseok and Jungkook go on a baking fest. After they’re all full, they’ll snuggle Jungkook on the couch while his favorite Iron Man movie is playing. 

*No matter who takes care of him on these days, they’ll all cuddle him to sleep at night and whisper praises and loving words to him. 

*Now, if Jungkook is the one that notices his members are stressed, he can never just sit there and watch. He at least has to try and do something to help. 

*For Jimin, he knows how his hyung is hard on himself and will practice until he collapses. Jungkook will join him in the practice room to make sure Jimin doesn’t overwork himself. Then he’ll make sure to grab food and water after their practice session. He’ll hover to make sure Jimin is taking care of himself and he’ll randomly tell Jimin how handsome he is (and how he worked hard for his muscles) and how talented he is (”Hyung! How did you do that? That was so cool!”). He’ll ask to sleep in Jimin’s bed claiming that he’s lonely but Jimin knows that Jungkook is trying to comfort him.

*Jungkook will drag Taehyung out for bubble tea then to a dog cafe because he knows how much Tae loves dogs (just like he does). He wants to make sure that Taehyung doesn’t worry about anything and just relaxes. He’ll be extra nice to Tae, allowing himself to be cuddled, massaging him, listening to everything he says, etc. He’ll crawl into bed with Taehyung at night and tangle their limbs together because he knows how much comfort Taehyung gets from physical contact. 

*When Hoseok is stressed, Jungkook will pet his hair to comfort him and lull him to sleep. He’ll randomly backlog Hobi and just shower him with affection. On the surface, it might seem like Jungkook is being the clingy one, but Hoseok knows that Kook is doing this to make him feel better. It doesn’t take long for Hobi to smile again if Jungkook remains by his side. He can never frown for long around the cute youngest who’s trying so hard to make him laugh. Jungkook will even let Hobi sniff him as much as he wants. 

*When Yoongi is exhausted and stressed, Jungkook will be the quiet support who follows him around in case Yoongi wants company. He’ll quietly flutter around to give Yoongi the things he needs and make sure that nothing is making his day harder than it is. He’ll run a bath and try his best to make Yoongi’s favorite dish (with some help from Jin). Jungkook knows how much Yoongi gets comfort from holding hands, so he’ll hold his hand at every chance, gently rubbing the back of Yoongi’s hand. He’ll let the older sleep on his thighs and it’s quiet comfort basically.

*For Namjoon, Jungkook will demand that he take a day off as leader. He’ll tell everyone to leave Namjoon alone and let him unwind. Jungkook will spend the day hugging Namjoon and telling him how amazing he is for leading BTS to the top when he’s so young too. He’ll gush about how he joined BigHit because of Joonie’s rap and tell him how he still admires Namjoon so much. Jungkook is a basically a teddy bear for Namjoon to hold and feel secure with. Kookie will pepper small kisses all over his face until Namjoon feels absolutely loved.

*When it’s Jin who’s stressed, Jungkook will join him in eating. They’ll order a lot of food just for the two of them and eat without any worries. Jungkook will laugh at Jin’s puns while feeding him a piece of chicken. He’ll even try to make homemade pizza for the eldest. Jungkook will go out of his way to get whatever Jin wants and then spend time with him whenever he wants. He plays Mario games with Jin and listens when he rambles on about everything Mario. At the end of the day, Jungkook will tell Jin how beautiful he is and how talented. No matter what anyone says, Jin is gorgeous and his voice is beautiful and he’s improving so much on dance. Jin might cry a bit but Jungkook will be there to wipe his tears. 

Shorter Civil War II #1 (Spoilers)

Captain Marvel: I’m sorry War Machine is dead and She Hulk is dying…

Iron Man: See I told you this would happen if you listened to that future seeing guy.  This is all you’re fault!

Captain Marvel: James knew the risk. Thanos was coming and we had to be prepared. We couldn’t take the risk.

Iron Man: Yes we could…

Captain Marvel: Thanos is a powerful Space Satan who tried to kill us over and over again! We couldn’t just not respond to a report that he was coming.

Iron Man:  Well… yes but sometimes Thanos is a farmer.  Maybe he was just coming here to farm.

Captain Marvel: Didn’t you see the free comic book day special?  He had 90s Cable Guns! Wait… why would Thanos need a gun?

Iron Man: It doesn’t matter. You’re a murder Carol!  You’re the real Space Satan!

She Hulk: *cough cough* Carol before I die I just wanted to say… Tony is acting like a real douche.

anonymous asked:

Imagine Bucky visiting Mrs. Wilson to ask for Sam's hand in marriage

“Well, we have to tell my mom we’re getting married,” Sam says finally. “We can’t just show up at hers for Thanksgiving afterwards without telling her.”

“How do you know we’ll be at her place for Thanksgiving?” Bucky asks petulantly.

“Because we’ve gone for the last five years, and if we skip this year, she’ll get suspicious and assume we eloped,” Sam says. “What’s the problem? I thought you loved my mom.”

“I do love your mom,” Bucky says. “I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do in this case? Emily Post didn’t cover asking your guy’s mother for his hand in marriage.”

“Emily Post?” Sam asks incredulously. “Of all things? I didn’t think this was an issue of etiquette. We’re going up this weekend, and we can tell her together.”


Darlene Wilson took some time to warm up to Sam’s boyfriend. While she trusts her son’s judgement in most matters (maybe not the matters regarding power-gliding in war zones, or making an enemy of Iron Man, but most matters), Bucky Barnes seemed like exactly the kind of trouble Sam would choose for himself.

Over the years, of course, he had plenty of chances to suck up to her, and he’s taken practically every one of them. She likes him now. He’s a very nice boy.

Bucky sits her down on the back porch, offers her some tea, and tells her nothing would make him happier than to join her family, with her permission of course.

Sam’s puppy dog eyes help, of course, but she trusts her son’s judgement.

Dinner Convo

Dinner table conversation 6/15/15.

Me: Hey, son. A, the girl who you used to be in playgroup with, is transitioning, his mom told me. He is now going to be called B. 

Son1 (15yo): Oh, cool. So is C (*who he used to date for about 5 minutes in 6th grade*). 

Me: Oh, really? What’s his new name? 

Son: I don’t think he’s picked one yet. 

Husband: Isn’t it a bit late to transition when you’re 15? 

Me: Nah. Some kids, like D, knew they were actually a girl when they were toddlers. Other’s don’t realize until puberty starts changing their bodies and they feel it’s wrong. Or maybe even later.

Husband: Doesn’t everyone feel their body is wrong in puberty though? 

Me: Not the same. I hated my boobs in puberty, because they were way too big way too soon and I wasn’t ready for that, but I never felt I wasn’t a girl. I just wore really baggy sweaters for a decade, pretending they weren’t there. 

Husband: That’s true. I guess you just can’t understand how it feels unless you feel it. And it’s not something anyone would choose to feel. I can’t imagine how difficult it is. 

Son1: Hey! Awesome! Now I know 4 trans kids, 1 asexual one, 1 bisexual one and I don’t even know how many gay ones! *starts naming them all*

Son2 (11 yo): Is E gay? (E is Son1′s best friend)

Son1: Nah. Kids in my class ship him with a whole bunch of guys, though. 

Son2: Like who?

Son1: *rattles off a bunch of names* and me. 

Husband (confused): But you’re not gay. 

Son1: So what? 

Me: It’s shipping. Actual sexual orientation is irrelevant. You can ship anyone with anyone. It’s like shipping Captain America with Iron Man, it doesn’t matter if they’re gay or not in the movies or comics. 

Son2 to Son1: Well, you’d be cute together (*possible sarcasm detected*). 

Son1: Damn right. Cause we’re both hot! 

You know, my oldest may have a deplorable work ethic, he may be actively trying to rot his brain with 20 hours of video games a day (if we’d let him) and he has an unfortunate tendency to start whining for fast food as soon as we step out of the house, but freshmen boys aren’t typically known for their tolerance, and at least he is doing an amazing job at that. The smartphone generation is doing some things right.

The Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015)

I unfortunately must report that this new notch in the Marvel canon is slightly enjoyable fluff and nothing more. It’s not as fun or funny as the original film (or even the likes of Iron Man 2, for that matter) and the new characters seem forced into the storyline, ultimately making us feel as if they’re unnecessary. And speaking of new characters, Ultron doesn’t come across as this undefeatable, killing machine he’s been hyped up to be. Truthfully his threat is not even remotely as intimidating as that of Loki’s.

RDJ doesn’t seem interested in what he’s doing, and that reflects in this film’s Tony Stark. He’s just going through the motions, reading the material, and nothing particularly interesting is brought to the table. It’s disappointing but understandable. It also feels as if Joss Whedon is tired of the script and these characters. He manages to sneak in a few witty lines, but honestly this just feels like a rehash of what we’ve been dealt before – we know it, and he knows it, and I’m not entirely sure if that’s his fault. We know how strict Marvel Studios is when it comes to how the stories and characters are handled.

Also, one last negative, did we really need a Bruce Banner/Black Widow romance? How completely redundant. Yawn.

On the plus side, however, Jeremy Renner’s Hawkeye comes out of this the most compelling Avenger of all. Give him a solo film and I’ll be there. But please, for the love of James Spader, give this franchise to a new writer and Marvel–be more lenient with how the stories are told.

**/****