So I’m sitting here thinking about feelings and language and how even tho my primary language is now English, my first language was Spanish and how, when push comes to shove, the language of my most intense emotions is my first. The words in Spanish bear more weight, are more evocative, exude the emotion much more so than in English. "Tristeza” sits tear-stained, hair matted with its clothes in shreds while "sadness” cast eyes downward and sits quietly in the corner.
But then while the words in Spanish carry more weight for me, I am painfully aware of how little I can do with them given the self and family taught nature of my vocabulary and grammar. So while the words in Spanish, the primary words through which I learned to name emotion, touch the deep center of my soul, it is through English, the language that organizes those emotions, that I seem best able to communicate with the world