or you simply don't know any better

anonymous asked:

It feels a bit strange to call myself asexual when I'm not even at the consent age. I'm kinda scared that when I do get there, I'll end up as something else and this community is already getting enough shit, you don't need "fakes" around.

Mm, I don’t think it’s strange. If you do, you don’t need to use any label that makes you uncomfortable or unsafe. My first “oh I’m ace” moment in retrospect was when I was 13. My friend told a story where hers was at age 5. Sometimes your environment gives hints or you outright know before the legal age of behavior.

Will you change later? Maybe. I have absolutely no problems with people re-labeling when they either find a better label or realize that’s simply not what they feel anymore. I think the conversation is always aces will change to different labels. Or bi people will change to different labels. In reality, all groups have a fraction that changes labels. It’s not fake. It’s as natural as the tides. 

I think “you’re too young to know” creates a dichotomy the adds friction and hate to every identity queer identity. People learn things at different times in their life. You know when you know. And sometimes even facts change.

anonymous asked:

do you have any tips other than calorie deficit and cardio to lose weight? sorry if you've been asked this. i love your blog :)

Of course there are other ways to lose weight, some people have better metabolisms than others, sometimes you can simply change your eating habits and your activity and lose weight EDIT: a low carb diet is another way to go

anonymous asked:

What's the deal about Shitty being heteronormative, if you don't mind explaining it? As a gay person, I recognize that the vast majority of humans are straight, so it's perfectly logical to assume any given person you know is straight, especially if you have only seen them be romantically involved with the opposite sex (which I think is heaviliy implied as true for Shitty and Jack). Shitty was being an asshole for prying in this manner but I don't see how "heteronormativity" was the problem?

Alright, the way I see it its that we simply expect better from Shitty.

Shitty who the fandom has embraced as the ‘rich straight white boy aware of his privilege.’

For example, Tater also teased Jack about having a girlfriend and nobody said anything about him and his assumptions, and that’s because Tater hasn’t spend his time talking to us about gender roles, toxic masculinity and heteronormativity, etc.

Basically it kind of made an impact in the fandom because Shitty has done something against the characterisation we have seen up until now of him.

Don’t get me wrong, I get where Shitty was coming from and he is still the Shitty we love, he just made a drunk mistake in the heat of the moment.

Jack has only ever dated girls as far as the Samwell crew is concerned, and he has never hinted or said anything to contradict or imply otherwise so Shitty just made the assumption based on previous behaviour and knowledge of Jack.

And that’s the thing as a fandom we have clung onto is that that Shitty, who should know better than to assume he knows somebody’s sexuality without that person having stated it, has done it because among all the characters he is the one who has taken a very loud stance against this kind of thing.

I’m 10000000% sure that if Jack had come out or even hinted at not being straight to Shitty, he would have kept his mouth shut and never risk outing or making Jack uncomfortable.

Shitty’s assumption wasn’t completely off base. I mean he wasn’t talking to a stranger but his best friend, somebody he has personal experience about Jack’s dating habits, and this is exactly the kind of scenario Shitty would normally point out heteronormativity comes into play.

Let me put it to you this way:

You have a best friend who doesn’t date much but occasionally has short relationships with women. Then your friend moves somewhere else and clearly starts keeping a secret from you, avoiding calls, always checking their phone, looking happier and choosing to spend their few free evenings with somebody else, when you know your circle of friends is basically the same.

Then their new coworker starts talking about how they have a girlfriend, and it makes sense with the behaviour you have seen from them that the source of it is a relationship.

Next time you are at a party with all your friends, you drink a little and then loudly ask your best friend about this girlfriend they’ve been hiding and ignore how they try to sidestep or deny the question.

Eventually you will find out your friend was dating a guy, which of course puts everything into a new perspective.

Heteronormativity is what coloured your assumptions, and it’s what puts people in the position of having to come out in the first place, because unless they basically inform us that ‘I’m not straight’ we assume they are.

It puts an unfair pressure in coming out when you are not ready, because if you don’t then people will continue to assume you are straight. The issue here is not about people staying in the closet, but about society creating a system in which you are put there in the first place.

And as I said, Shitty knows this better than any of the other characters. He knows it better than I do, he studied this kind of thing, he is aware of how it affects people’s lives, and identifies it around him, but was blind to doing it himself.

From any other character we wouldn’t have made such a big deal, but it’s understandable that we react this way from the character that should know better.

I hope this clarifies things a bit, and do understand Shitty is still the same character that we’ve always love and that just because it has taken a long post to explain his actions, doesn’t mean I’m condemning him and trying to raise a mob with pitchforks to hunt him down.

Good story telling requires flawed characters. People who make good and bad choices and that sometimes contradict themselves. Just like in real life.

The best example I can give you of this is in Harry Potter; one of Sirius Black’s most quoted lines is 'if you want to know what a man’s life, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals’ and yet look at how he treats his house elf Kreacher.

N is really good at creating this balance of good and bad characteristics in her characters, and we just have to hang on and wait to see how things play out.

Now, I feel I should also say that this somewhat meta-ish analysis comes only from the impressions of a straight girl who is doing her best to explain a rather big issue that affects a community she isn’t part of.

So if I made a remark or assumption that wasn’t correct, please do drop by my ask and tell me.

anonymous asked:

My boyfriend wants to have sex but I'm a virgin and I honestly don't know how I know when I'm ready. Any thoughts?

Hun, please DO NOT let him force you into this or do it simply because you’re afraid he’ll leave. It is your body, only do it when you’re ready and are completely comfortable with him. If he leaves you or keeps pushing you into having sex, then leave him because you deserve better than a guy who only cares about your body more than your personality and soul

anonymous asked:

People have already given the writers a chance. They fucked up. They don't get another one. They said they were listening & really heard their fans. They flat out lied. I know better than to give them another chance when they've already shown who they are.

I would like to remind you, once again, that the writers carry out the vision of a showrunner. While they may pen the stories, what happens in them comes from many levels. I’m not telling you to give them another chance or any chance. I’m simply explaining why I believe that some of them being more quiet and more apologetic is respectful to fans in a time when it is impossible for them to do much more. 

Transgender problems: Shopping at the mall
  • We all know how this one goes. You're either strutting your stuff past Victoria's Secret or keeping your eyes glued to the floor while walking by the food court.
  • Suddenly, the hyenas of high school forget how to behave in social environments:
  • "Holy shit! Did you guys see THAT?"
  • "It's a dude! It's totally a dude!"
  • -Insert hyena laughter here.-
  • So what do you do in this situation? Turn around and flip the little demons off? Or remember that they're simply children and don't know any better?
  • This was my experience last weekend while presenting myself as female at the mall for the first time. I was OK at first, but the longer I spent there the more anxious I became.
  • A couple of young girls asked to take a photo with me. It wasn't done with bad intentions necessarily, as they did compliment my makeup, but in their eyes I could tell how they perceived me - to them, I was something entertaining. To them, I was a drag queen.
  • My therapist has been encouraging me to accept myself as a transgender woman, and proudly accept being perceived as one. Because that's going to be the reality for awhile. But it's experiences like the ones I described which make me want nothing else other than blend in with cisgender women.
  • No one should ever be referred to as "THAT."