or will i end up being a complete failure


Chapter 3: Episode 2

           In a city like this, there are very simple rules. If you can smoke it, snort it, or fuck it, you can make money off it. And if you’re not making money, then you’re just dying, and nothing good ever came from being dead.
           The former two modes are the most easily transportable. In a place like Bedlam, moving and pushing is as integrated as inhalation. We breathe in vice and sin with each whiff of smoggy city air. The problem, of course, is that even with the simplest of things, human beings will find a way to fuck it up.
          Two weeks ago, a large delivery of a new experimental drug, known only as “Plague”, vanished into thin air.
          The five minutes of satisfaction I got from killing the ones responsible for such a monumental loss—unfortunately– was not able to bring the product back to us. Thus began fifteen days of mind-numbing searches, all of which ended in complete failure. I was slated for a particularly boring month, until I got the call that they’d found a new hit.
          And he was a real disappointment.

Next | Previous | Beginning

the river - darkiplier imagine

word count  ☆ 1,879

prompt  ☆  the river - blues saraceno. i own no rights to the song or the band.

warning  ☆ this is not fluff, there is no romance between dark and the reader, though it is a reader insert. this imagine deals with deals with the devil, satan, etc. if you’re offended by any of these, please do not read this.

requested  ☆ yes :* by anon

The Devil has come to carry me home,

Lay me at the bottom of the river.

She had known this was coming for a while now, at this point, it was just watching the seconds tick by with agonizing slowness as she waited for her ultimate demise. Every clock in her house seemed to be so loud, the clicking noise echoing through each room in the house. It taunted her like it knew what was waiting for her when her time was up.

After living in luxury for the past ten years with a flourishing career, it was all catching up to her as she was reminded why she was in this situation, to begin with. By no means had she made this life for herself, starting from humble beginnings had gotten her nowhere in life and she chose the only option she thought to be reasonable. Even if it had numbered the years left on her life, at least she got a kick out of the lackluster future she was destined to have.

Only, she had never gotten the opportunity to enjoy it like a regular person would. She physically and mentally had no capacity to, every emotion had been drained out of her body and she was incapable of feeling any emotion. After selling her soul to that red eyed demon, there was nothing left for her other than the riches and success she had pleaded for oh so long ago. For once, this didn’t faze her and she was quite honestly ‘glad’ that she could no longer feel the fear that would be weighing down on her.

Now it was just playing the waiting game, waiting for the twisted man that caused all of this to happen to her. It was really her fault, but for the sake of her own sanity she would never admit it out loud. There was something comforting about putting the blame for your own suffering on someone else, even if your subconscious constantly reminded you in a shrill tone that it was all your fault.

So here she was now, pacing the living room while impatiently waiting for the bastard to turn up and take her to wherever she was getting dragged down to. Her mind was racing, trying to remember every single moment that lead up to this one, or how she could’ve changed it all. Maybe she could’ve been more patient, but she was in a desperate state and confided in some old friend who lead her to that crossroads.

That was the last thing she could remember, her life beforehand had disappeared entirely from her memory.

She didn’t feel alone here, though it was dead silent and the road leading here had been empty for the past four miles. Everyone seemed to be avoiding this place, hell, it was like no one even knew it was here. It was a crossroads, gravel covering where the road once was. There was an ominous feeling that settled over her as she walked to the center, using her bare hands to dig into a hole that had been covered and uncovered a million times before.

A metal box was beside her, opened as she was constantly rechecking that everything was in there. Graveyard dirt caked in at the bottom while the bone of a black cat and a picture of herself laid on top of it. She closed the box for the last time, setting it into the hole and taking a hesitant breath as her hand hovered over the gravel.

There was still the option to leave. She could grab the box and drive away, nothing would happen and she would be safe from the evils she was going to get into. At what cost, though? She would be unhappy, and her life would be as meaningless as she always knew that it was. Staying would be selfish.

But God, it wasn’t a secret that Y/N L/N only cared about herself.

She recovered the hole and waited until a howling wind pierced through the silence and a suited man stood in front of her.

“Hello, darling,” his eyes looked like molten lava, glowing red pits that stared into her very soul, “you called?”

“I want to be successful. I want to be rich off of the work I do,” she felt the eyes of millions on her as she spoke, their judgment weighing down on her though it was only this demon and her on the crossroads. He was making her nervous, and it seemed to be very purposeful as the grin he adorned was spreading each time a shiver ran down her spine.

“And what do I get for giving you this?” he hummed, rocking on his heels with his hands intertwined behind his back. She shivered again, holding her jacket tighter around herself like it would protect her.

“Me,” Y/N choked out.

“Pleasure doing business with you, love,” he stepped closer, making her shrivel back until she jumped away.

“Wait, what if I don’t want to do this anymore?” She scratched the back of her neck and he rolled his eyes in return, closing them and pinching the bridge of his nose before stalking up to her. Y/N tried to run but ended up cornered against the side of her own car.

“Then you’ll be just as useless as everyone always said you were. You’ll be the disappointment you always thought yourself to be, and you’ll continue to disappoint everyone who you’ve ever known. You don’t want your entire life to be a complete failure, do you?” his voice started being harsh but it got soft at the end as he placed a hand on her shoulder, “you can be everything your family ever wanted you to be. Sweetheart, you’ll be the shining figure that your family and friends look up to. You’ll have everything you ever wanted, I just need your soul.”

Y/N was faded into his touch, her head was pounding from the ringing sound that filled the air. She felt desperate to touch him in every way possible and it was driving her insane that she couldn’t. The hand on her shoulder was comforting, lulling her into a sense of security that was trapping her.

“I don’t know.”

“Come on, sweetie,” it was almost like he read her mind, moving impossibly closer to her and setting one hand on her cheek while the other was on her waist. His brown hair looked nearly black, and the moonlight illuminated his cheekbones and every little detail on his face. He was strikingly handsome and she felt utterly helpless against him, “don’t you want that? Don’t you want to be impressive and be loved by everyone because of all that recognition you deserve? You work so hard, my dear, believe me I know… you’ll finally be who you’ve worked to be. You just have to give into me.”

She took in a breath, his eyes looked so sincere despite the lies he was spewing. There was a voice in her head telling her that there was still time, but the life he told her of was so appealing. She wanted so badly to say no, but instead, she nodded wordlessly.

Another hand came up to her opposite cheek and he pressed his lips against hers. She desperately laced her fingers with his hair, but he pulled away and grinned slyly.

“My name is Dark. Goodbye, Y/N, it was a pleasure doing business with you. See you in ten years.”

Looking back now, she knew he had been manipulating her. He was playing off of her emotions to get her to give in, and God had she been so weak. She craved this life more than anything in the world and after receiving it, it became painfully true that the grass is always greener on the other side. Y/N began to crave emotions again, she just wanted to feel and even if she was begging for jobs again, she’d change the path she had taken in a heartbeat.

However, she couldn’t change what she had done, and she had been given enough time to accept that. There would always be the feeling of regret, it was really the only thing she felt other than paranoia, but she had lived a nice life and it was time to pay for it.

She was tapping the wooden table beside her armchair, gazing at the bed of a dog that had died not too long ago. That was always her greatest fear, that she would leave someone behind when her time was up. This, however, never came up as her family practically disowned her despite everything Dark had said. They just left, for reasons she never really understood, and soon everyone else followed.

Y/N L/N lived a lonely life full of regret that would come to an end soon, one that she wished she could give back. Had the younger version of her not been so naive, maybe she wouldn’t have been in the position that she was now. A younger her was stupid and desperate to be the best at what she did, and maybe if she had waited a little bit longer she could’ve had all this without having to sell her soul. Maybe, maybe, maybe, there were too many maybe’s in Y/N’s life. She wasn’t certain of anything other than her regret anymore.

So she got up, stumbling into the bathroom and staring at her reflection in the mirror. She looked drained, a shell of her former self. In complete honesty, her former self wasn’t someone that she ever wanted to be. Desperate, lonely, and sad, God, nothing had really changed. Her eyes were just sunken in now, her hair had gone gray with stress and she was on the brink of insanity.

She stayed in the mirror for some time, waiting until a familiar heaviness settled over the air. It was dead silent and the mirror in front of her cracked, her own image distorting as shards fell into the sink.

“Long time no see,” a deep voice chuckled, placing a hand on her shoulder, “I typically don’t come back to see clients, but you’re a special case, Y/N. See, I don’t want to kill you, I want to help you break your deal.”

“What? Why?” she couldn’t see his reflection in the mirror. Her heart was racing and she wanted to run as fast as she could.

“You’re too pathetic for me to just kill. Your life has been utterly miserable up till this point and it still is.”

Then Y/N began begging, her eyes full of tears as she collapsed on her knees and pleaded with him to break her deal. He just watched silently as she sobbed violently, with no real emotion behind her crying, just desperation.

She cried for what felt like hours until loud howls and barks overpowered them. Claws were tearing into her skin, these ugly hounds ripping her apart as Dark just chuckled from above her.

“Just kidding, darling, I just wanted to see you beg. See, you’re still the pathetic, desperate bitch that you were when we first met. I’ll see you in hell, peasant,” he spat on her as she thrashed and screamed, till he disappeared without a trace and Y/N was nothing but a mangled body in her bathroom with an unknown killer.

KHR fanon VS DET: The Tragedy And Darkness Of Sawada Tsunayoshi

<<KHRF VS DET Part 2: The Station Location

Now that DET is over, I can FINALLY talk about how I broke a minimum of 3 fanon!Tsunas over my knee out of spite because I’m a bitter, bitter person who bathes in plot bunnies 24/7. This one is really long, because Tsuna is the main character and one of the most consistent elements in fic I’ve read.

So let’s talk about fanfic based around Tsuna’s tragic backstory.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hi. Thank you for your blog. I'm an INTP and I lack confidence in myself for various reasons (education and abuse in the past can be of those). People keep repeating me "Have confidence in yourself!" but I don't know how to get it, how to change my mind patterns from complete uncertainty to a sense of being good enough to achieve my goals. Because of uncertainty and fear for the future (rejection and failure), I end up acting stupidly like isolating and procrastinating. How can I fix that?

Two things: 1) Manage your intuitions. You seem to only visualize negative scenarios that produce fear/anxiety, which of course leads to procrastination when you don’t want to confront those negative emotions. You fear failure? Well, procrastination is a great way to guarantee failure, so choosing it means choosing to shoot yourself in the foot. Rebalance your thinking: make your intuitions more objective to counteract your dominant subjectivity, i.e., develop Ne and learn to see all possibilities, not just the negative ones, consult the sections on Type Development and Emotional Well-Being. 2) Get realistic beliefs. Failure is not the end of the world, in fact, it is an absolutely necessary part of learning and making progress in life. Rejection is not the end of the world, in fact, it is necessary for developing proper critical thinking skills. There’s no such thing as perfection. Which would you rather: never try and never fail and be “perfect” yet stuck in your own little mental bubble, OR try harder but win some and lose some yet still learn and make incremental progress? The latter is real life. You are your own worst critic but you don’t have to be because the past doesn’t define you unless you allow it to, develop Si so that you don’t use it so inappropriately. Imagine that you had a chance to start a new life: who would you be, what would you do? Guess what, that chance comes every moment of every day but you never think to seize it. Learn to cheer for yourself, replace that old critical voice in your head with a new more realistic one, have better conversations with yourself.

Watched the final two episodes

And while the penultimate episode was def a good episode and on a different level of quality and writing than much of the rest of S12, to me personally it remained one of the least emotional and grabbing season finales of the show, but maybe that was due to how much was seen coming miles ahead, because S12 didn’t do any subtleties. Mary ending up with Lucifer has been hammered down all season and so have a few other things, but I’ll get to those in a bit.

That said, I loved Jensen’s performance. If only he had gotten more scenes like that this season to showcase his talent. @lemondropsonice adds: Big hurt!Dean love!!!

Rowena’s death was absolutely uncalled for and upsetting and just plain stupid - of course Lucifer would do such a thing - but overall the writing of the finale to me just showed that apparently Dabb has truly lost his ability to write.

Anyway… Mary ending up out of the picture was expected, I just hope that Lucifer remains out of the picture for good now too, even if we should get different reality scenes from Mary next season.

Now to what I did really love and what probably moved me most: CROWLEY!!! “Bye boys” ;__________;
Sandy and I cried!!! This is how you wrap up a character’s story in a meaningful way. From S9 onwards with Crowley becoming more human again and remebering how to love and care and all that has happened to him and changed him from there on out, makes his death all the more beautiful, because he died for a reason, he died for what he believed in, he died for the people he cared about - the Winchesters who have been more friends than foe - and because he had seen his time coming. We have been shown Crowley’s going through the motions, his fatigue of the life he lead, so as much as I will miss Crowley on the show his death had impact and meaning and really moved me. And tbh as much as I would love to have Mark Sheppard on the show, I dearly hope they will not bring him back, because it would ruin the entire arc and the impact his death and life had.

And then there’s Cas’ death. I hadn’t expected that and of course it was the complete opposite to Crowley’s send off. It didn’t have any of the gravitas Crowely’s death had. Which is why I guess most agree that he won’t be dead for good and to be perfectly honest, I’d have preferred then if they hadn’t killed Cas at all, but had him stuck in alternate universe world too, because bringing him back now after we saw his wings torched in the ground feels truly enraging to me, because it’s just pure shock value and lacks meaning, because we all know he’ll be back. Unless he won’t be… And well if he truly won’t be: What an absolutely undeserved way to have Cas go. Tbh to me it feels very tough here for the show to get out of this in any way that won’t feel cheap and won’t damage anything further or remove impact, so I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

Overall I did enjoy the finale two episodes, 12x22 a whole lot more than 12x23, which was cringeworthy at quite a few times imo, but yeah Crowley’s death ;______; that one was beautiful.

So yeah, solid ending episodes (with a quite a few black spots) that imo still cant fix or gloss over a complete failure of a season.

And on a completly unrelated note: Whoever thought it was okay to berate and “teach” Timothy on twitter for his spelling errors: You really are a stellar piece of a human being. Seriously, when I read Tim’s tweets, I teared up. All the well wishes to this talented amazing man!!!!

Alright, I’m going to get ready for the first day of JIB now. Sirry for the negativity lol. :P

I’m feeling frustrated with my progress and my limitations in Japan right now, so I thought I should remind myself what I’ve successfully done. (And that it’s only the beginning of my fifth day in the country.) Even if I’m frantically rescrambling my plans.

things I try to do every trip and have successfully completed already

  • Go to a part of or site in Japan I have never been to before.

  • Eat food that makes me smile for being so happy. (No this tends not to be the junk food I document.)

  • Reconnect with people or institutions (often a failure, but not doing too bad on this right now; to do better is a current goal).

  • Try horrible and not so horrible limited edition ideas in mass produced food.

things I keep doing in Japan regularly whether I intend to or actually intend not to

  • Accidentally end up staying near a funeral hall.

  • Buy books when I already have too many books (and I haven’t even been to a bookstore yet, just museums….)

  • Discover new things to research.

things I have successfully got myself to do in Japan this time

  • Accept gracefully the help when I try to bus my tray and separate my garbage. (I like separating my garbage. It makes me feel accomplished. But… to be fair I am handicapped now, and not just by gaijinness.)
  • Eat more regularly in actual restaurants like an adult, instead of just grabbing things from convenience stores.

anonymous asked:

Harry and Mike Stamford didn't come to the wedding bc of the same reason. John married the wrong person. Probably they hated Mary, too.

Imagine being Mike Stamford.

Originally posted by abitnotgood

Playing cupid for two lonely people. Being sure as fuck that they are gonna end up together. But things don’t go as planned. One of those two fakes his death and the other one marries a woman. It kinda feels like a personal failure. if I was mike ,I wouldn’t attend John’s wedding either. Because it was not with Sherlock.

Now imagine being Harry Watson.(Picture unavailable. Completely Mofftisss’ fault. I wanted to see Harry in the show)

Seeing your little brother literally going gay for a dude in his blog (Harry read the blog regularly) and then marrying a woman. I am sure Harry was hella disappointed too.

I wonder if Sherlock’s list of the people from John’s family who hated Mary had Harry’s name in it.

Thom Yorke on Nigel and The Eraser

But who could have imposed a deadline?
If Nigel wasn’t constantly on my back, I would have never brought out the eraser. It was pissing me off that he was treating me like a little boy but on the other hand, it was the only way. If it was only up to me, I would waited a month or 2 for stuff to clarify - & it wouldn’t work or it would crap. So his discipline was a big choc for me. 

Did you need to purge yourself from these songs, from these electronic sounds, before going back to RH? 
It needed to come out, it was impeding me. I also needed to prove that I could work alone, to compose with little means: a bass line for one song, a guitar loop (not sure if it’s the right word) on an other… It was interesting to distance myself from song writing. Because I’m not really a songwriter, I don’t listen to – besides a few old ones like Scott Walker or Stephen Malkmus – songwriters… I mainly listen to beats, sounds, grooves… That’s why I can be very frustrated listening to RH: from my defending body ( couldn’t translate this correctly), we make songs. I wanted to distance myself from this kind of format for the eraser. But Nigel was obsessed with the songs and, on those little bits of ideas that I had made him listen to in beginning, he regularly stopped me and said: “But you have a song, you really needed to sing over it!”

Even your singing sounds new: your voice seems to have found some pleasure.
Its exactly that: the pleasure of just sing. I’m much more comfotable with my voice today, finnaly I have no doubts. That goes for saying, when I sing a song like Atoms for Peace, never has my voice been so exposed, so vulnerable. Nigel was inflexible: “I want a bit more echo. –No. – Ok, then a little reverb. –No. I told you I am not doing that on an album.” A lot of the time, he wanted one or two pieces of voice. I needed to trust in him, even if I sometimes had the impression of being naked. Usually, I always managed to hide the words behind the guitar or behind effects. The worst was on OK Computer: I had the impression that this voice didn’t belong to me anymore, that it had nothing to do with me… All measures taken around this album … I had the impression of being a caricature. 

Do you need a bubble to record, an enclosed environment?

That’s something that Nigel and I always argue about. He thinks we always need to completely isolate ourselves, not to have any contact with reality. I end up thinking he is right: during months with RH, we went into the studio as if we were going to work like a normal person, with fixed hours, from 11 to 23h - & nothing came out of it at all. That routine washed us out: we were taking care of children night & morning, & we were killing ourselves over these songs. A failure.

So your presence can be inhibiting?
Yes certainly. I can be even corrosive. Nigel remembers with horror recording Paranoid Android… During a day or two, I pulled a fit, I was unbearable: “I had no positive energy, I couldn’t bear it anymore…” I dropped the whole thing because if I would have stayed, I would have really lost my marbles, I would have burnt the place down(laughs)… Nigel then reunited everybody, behind my back, and they did three quarters of the song. We were already troubled over ten different versions but there, without me on their backs, they found a solution. I can be a real poison in this machine. When my energy leaves me, I become a burden. 

Okay, because this has been wandering around in my head for… a few days for making the post, but the contents itself since about, er, October, I’m going to finally write down my Sycamore headcanons XD;;

Well, it’s kind of part headcanon, part psychoanalysis, part waaaay overthinking the personality of a Pokemon character, but fuck it, it’s fun.

Kind of rambly and disconnected, I’m pretty much just sticking down thoughts as they occur to me. If others feel so inclined, I wouldn’t mind comments - things I’ve missed or if my interp is wayyy off-base, or things to add?

Keep reading

When @conejito-de-la-luna encourages you to draw but you remember you could never draw bodies so you start by drawing faces… And I tried doing what I felt should have happened in chapter 52.

Drawing is difficult, I guess I’ll just go back to writing and translating lol

Mika was supposed to be looking cool and I don’t know how he ended up being this cute, it’s no fair

A letter to you.


My name is Lanna and I own the imaginaryharry blog since December, 2nd, 2013. It’s been a year and a month since I started, but for the past four months I’ve been away. 

This is me explaining what happened from the bottom of my heart. It’s not easy for me and it shows a very personal side of me that I’m not used to sharing, so I ask you, as a friend, to be gentle with my heart. 

I’m apologizing in advance for the long post, but if you read it all I’ll love you forever. 

Okay… Here we go. 

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

What are some key moments that show that Rilucas just doesn't work in the romantic sense?

There are quite a few examples of this, but I think New World, Secret of Life, Belief, and STEM are some of the biggest. 

With New World, the peer pressure they felt to be a couple was obviously the culprit of most of the awkwardness that they encountered in the episode and I think that’s an incredibly believable scenario. But, there’s one bit that stands out to me and it’s their awkwardness at holding hands. 

Here’s my thing. They like each other. Peer pressure or no peer pressure, considering that they’re holding hands with someone they like, (especially for the entirety of the walk from Topanga’s to Riley’s apartment), you would think they’d have eased into it more at some point, just a little bit, just a smidge. The funny thing is, they actually seem MORE uncomfortable by the end of it all than they did at the beginning. They literally have their arms outstretched by the time they get to Riley’s and again, I acknowledge that peer pressure was a major factor in their failure at comfortably being a couple. They weren’t ready for that yet and that’s completely understandable (and believable given Riley & Lucas’ characterizations up to that point), but there are certain elements of that, like the hand holding, that seem to speak to deeper issues. The fact that they were SO, almost comically, uncomfortable with it seems to speak, to me at least, to their level of physical comfort/chemistry or lack there of (which, as I’ve mentioned before, I feel is a very big part of any romantic relationship, regardless of age).

Secret of Life is also important because it really emphasizes the underlying tension that exists in Riley & Lucas’ idealization of one another. I know this gets debated a lot and Rilucas shippers always want to say, “Well, the only reason Riley was mad at Lucas was because he kept a secret from her, not because of what he did or because of him being different” And they’re correct, to a point. Riley was upset that Lucas didn’t tell her about his past or what he’d done, but she was also upset over the idea of Lucas being different than who she thought he was. This is stated very explicitly in the episode when Riley says:

“As long as you’re not different than I think.”

“Tell me that whoever this Zay kid is, that he can’t just come in here and change you from the Lucas we know. Tell me nothing changes.”

Riley was not just upset that Lucas kept a secret from her. Riley was upset at the idea of Lucas potentially being someone different than who she thought he was. (Compare that to Maya’s “Whatever you did at you’re old school, you are still such a Huckleberry.” Whatever he did, to Maya, it doesn’t change a thing. He’s still huckleberry to her.)

I’ve spoken at length about the idealization issues that plague rilucas, so I won’t get too deep into it here, but Riley’s comments in SoL show that she has a certain preconceived notion of who Lucas is and that she doesn’t want that to change (one that’s presumably typified by the idea of him birthing horses, wanting to be vet, and being a hero.) This episode really spoke to Riley’s idealization issues and the sheer existence of this desire to ignore part of who Lucas is, is super problematic. (Note Riley’s complete and utter denial of what’s actually happening in front of her during the locker scene. Lucas is there, threatening this guy, and Riley’s all doe eyed, talkin about Lucas being a vet. She is literally ignoring this part of Lucas that doesn’t fit with her idea of him and attempting to cover it up with a part that does, i.e. his veterinarian dreams. Not a good sign for a romantic relationship, which is, in this universe anyways, based on unconditional love for all of who someone is.)

Belief is a really big one for me (not just in regards to rilucas, but the square dance as a whole). Belief not only features a blatantly name dropped square dance, but it also visibly shows the swapping of partners (or ships, as it were), from Maya/Farkle+Riley/Lucas to Lucaya/Riarkle. And I think one of the things the episode really hammered home was why Maya/Farkle & Riley/Lucas doesn’t work. Maya/Farkle were equally content with sitting on their imaginary beach on their fake vacation and Riley/Lucas literally agreed on everything. They even ask one another, “Why do I need you?” And it’s such an important moment that I think a lot of their shippers ignore. Riley and Lucas are so similar to one another that, in the case of this heavy and deeply personal topic (beliefs), they don’t need each other. They don’t even need to discuss it. There’s nothing there to discuss. They feel exactly the same and are getting nothing beneficial from the partnership. Nothing. So much of nothing that they all decide to switch partners again. Like, the message in that is resoundingly clear.

Meanwhile, when the episode finally settles on Lucaya and Riarkle, you see a major major contrast in the partnerships (vs. Maya/Farkle & Riley/Lucas). Lucaya and Riarkle are both able to have conversations that result in the slight opening of minds. They’re both able to have mature discussions about a deeply personal subject without pushing each other too much (like Riley & Maya/Lucas & Farkle) and without the complete lack of any benefit in being partnered together because of similar mentalities (like Farkle & Maya/Lucas & Riley). 

After their conversations with Lucas & Riley respectively, you FINALLY start to see the wheels turning for Maya & Farkle and it’s so important that it took this particular set of pairings for that to occur.

This is also paralleled in STEM. Lucaya & Riarkle being partnered in that episode was crucial to the storyline and, again, speaks to how beneficial those partnerships are. If Riley & Lucas were paired together, Lucas would have let Riley do the science from the start, she would have had no reason to get worked up and boom, Riley doesn’t get a lesson on feminism and the importance of girls in STEM. If Maya and Farkle were paired, Maya would have let Farkle do all the science and boom, Maya doesn’t get motivated to care about science. Lucas wanted Maya to participate in the project. He pushed her too. He made it as easy as possible, but he pushed her. If Maya had been with Farkle instead, Farkle wouldn’t have pushed her and if Lucas had been with Riley instead, Riley wouldn’t have had any reason to push back. 

Like with Belief, it’s once again emphasized that Maya/Farkle & Riley/Lucas sometimes struggle to be as beneficial to the growth of the characters as Riarkle & Lucaya are (at least when it comes to certain topics.)

In particular to Rilucas, Lucaya pushes one another in a way that Rilucas simply can’t because, to harken back to a pretty key BMW lesson, they’re “jelly and jelly”. It’s tedious and redundant and “why would we want to be with somebody exactly like themselves?”

And that’s one of the biggest things working against romantic rilucas, IMO. They have so much in common that they don’t push one another as much or as well as Lucas & Maya do and that ability to push/motivate each other (the right way), is very important to romantic relationships in this universe. Riley & Lucas’ struggling in this department, as exemplified by Belief & STEM, is a pretty strong example, IMO, of why rilucas doesn’t work in the romantic sense.

anonymous asked:

I apologize if you've answered this before, but I'm curious: What do you think, realistically, is going to happen to Theon in the final two books? Do you see him coming out alive? A noble death? Killed by Stannis? I love Theon to bits and the released TWOW chapter has me worried...

I don’t think I answered the question directly but even if I had I’d be okay with answer it again, no apologies needed! :D

Okay so I can’t go back and find out where I theorized about it already so I’m just gonna hash out what I think about it again:

  • he’s not getting killed by Stannis. whatever happens that’s not how he’s going. reasoning: if you pay attention, whenever GRRM tells you that someone’s gonna die beforehand in a certain way, it’s either trolling or it never happens. See Davos, Mance and so on. Instead, when he kills people forreal, he doesn’t telegraph it like that. I mean, Ned/Robb/Cat? With Robb and Cat you could say there was foreshadowing and that it was never gonna end good, but he never told you straight. So since in the WoW chapter he said straight that Stannis wants to kill Theon, we can all rest assured that if he dies it’s not going to be like that.
  • that said I think there’s a highly likely chance he survives. Bear with me a moment because this is all my speculation, but, let’s just hash it out.
  • So. GRRM likes to deconstruct tropes. Theon’s basically the turncloak/traitor’s - usually the dude who betrays the hero does it out of greed/shit, we all hate him, they die in the end when the hero wins and they have a not honorable death. But in this case the traitor’s done that for reasons that are more complicated, genuinely regrets betraying the hero - who died - and has come out as an actually sympathetic character. Could GRRM kill him? Sure, but the thing is that the noble death would still be the whole redemption arc trope. And the thing is that as far as redemption goes, in the text Theon’s already done that - he saved Jeyne first thing after coming back to himself, which is telling us that the first genuine thing he does as himself is actually one of the most selfless things anyone’s ever done in these books. Does he need to atone for himself? Sure. Does he need to atone in the text? No, he did that already. If he had a redemption arc, it’s done with.
  • And thing thing is - I don’t think his story is just the redemption arc, I think it’s the finding yourself arc. This guy has never had a chance to just be who he really was - he likely never even knew for real until his last ADWD chapter. Also other thing - he overcomes all the abuse that’s been thrown at him by Ramsay and then… he dies? Obviously here it’s just me speculating but that story is a lot more powerful if he lives. He already got through all that, now how nice and frankly refreshing would be that he actually gets to go on and - well, not get over it because he never will, but you know, get a life back? I’d find that a lot better - and a lot less overdone - than ‘he did bad stuff, he’s sorry, he dies the redemptive death’ angle that’s been done to hell and back.
  • Also because let’s all remember that he wants to die and no one gets what they want in these books. /sarcasm
  • So: while I’m not saying I can see him get over his trauma anytime soon especially since if the Others are coming he’s hardly in a position to go and think about stuff, I’m actually seeing him trying to get back to what part of his old self was actually his thing. I mean, in the WoW chapter he was mentally sassing Stannis pretty often, which he did not do in ADWD to anyone except maybe at the end, so he’s obviously still in there somewhere. And I think that’s going to come out at some point. Also at this point I like to think that he succeeds, because come on he got this far, it’s idiotic if he just dies after this point.
  • Also I’m not seeing him doing anything flashy like trying to reclaim the throne or anything if he ever stops being an hostage - he’d probably just support Asha at this point.
  • Also I’m pretty sure that he must have some huge part to play in the northern plot since it’s where the action will concentrate most likely. For one at some point it’s gonna have to come out that Bran and Rickon aren’t dead, which is the reason why Stannis wants to kill him anyway. Like, if Davos shows up with Rickon (might happen, I’m 99% sure it does) before Theon dies then what does Stannis do, behead him for not having killed the Stark children? There’s nothing definite to go on right now so I don’t have any speculation on that matter but my two cents are that he has something important to do at some point and that it might as well be a foil to the complete failure that was the Winterfell thing since as it is now, he’s not being set up for complete failure.
  • About what especially might happen to him at the end I don’t know but I think he lives. Also because honestly, even not minding all my ramblings about the text and so on, someone survives the hell he got through in ADWD? Nothing’s gonna kill them. Or well, if he was at the Wall I’d say short of an apocalypse (…) but since he’s not at the Wall for now I think he has a fair chance. He has all the text basis for it, he’s not the character people would expect not to kick it and if he lives it’s really fucking with the tropes royally. Sooo I’m betting my two cents that he survives and then probably gets some time to just do his fucking thing and live his life without being anyone’s hostage.

That said it’s also plenty possible that I’m wrong and he kicks the bucket next book XD but if he does he’d probably not get a crappy death, GRRM put too much work into that storyline to kill him off like he killed off Quentyn *cough* because that was hardly dignified if you ask me, but that’s an entire other matter.

a friendly psa

it’s me, your neighborhood friendly asexual! i’m here to talk to you about those posts you’re making about us aces.

you know the ones! they’re the posts that explain various queer identities, and end with “and asexuals prefer pizza.” they’re the posts that call asexual people magical star children. they’re the posts that talk about how romantic or sexual interest is the downfall of most movie protagonists, so the asexuals will have the strength to save the world.

these posts, on their own, are pretty awesome. i’ve reblogged a fair number of them myself, because sometimes being told that you are a really badass celestial ray of light, or something, is great!

but it’s gotten to the point where i see these posts a lot. i’m not saying they should stop, or anything, because sometimes they are fun. but i’m kind of tired of them being pretty much the only thing i see about asexual people on my dash. (or on other social media, for that matter.)

the truth is, i don’t feel like a rad asexual dragon who wears cool sunglasses and flips off haters as they skate off into the sunset. most of the time, i feel like a lazy potato who wants a nap. so when i see these posts everywhere, i feel like somehow, i’m not being a “good” asexual. which is completely ridiculous, of course, but having that conversation with my brain never goes well.

so i just end up feeling like a failure to my community because i’m not a stunning, sparkly space rock with zero flaws. and i want that to stop.

i’m tired of seeing myself represented as a glorious unicorn dragon fairy who blesses the less fortunate, binges on pizza, looks perfect in a bikini, never succumbs to temptations of any sort, marries people just for their money and then kills them off. i never asked you to think of me as any of those things and i’m tired of trying to live up to those expectations.

i’m just asking you to think of me as human. that’s all i want, and honestly, that’s all i feel up to right now.

anonymous asked:

Do you think Ben was saving Leia in TFA? According to the book, he keeps on dismissing Snoke whenever he talk about his mother, and also he stop Snoke for blowing D'Qar up when they found out the location of the resistance.

Yeah, I do actually.

He may have multiple reasons for doing the things he does, but it’s pretty clear to me that by the end of the movie his actions are to try and stop his mother from being killed– and when he thinks he screwed up way beyond saving her, his actions start becoming messy and impulsive as he starts falling apart.

A lot of people think that Kylo’s tantrum after Rey escaped was because of her (and I’m sure his failure against her fuelled him), but he’s completely losing it because his last hope to get the map slipped through his fingers. Just moments earlier we saw him begging Snoke to give him more time with Rey to extract the map from her, and in the novelization it’s even more clear that he wants to do it so Snoke won’t use the weapon against the Resistance AKA where his mommy is.

So Rey’s gone and he freaks out. He takes his anger out on the chair before getting all the stormtroopers on the base to try and find her. Then he senses his father’s presence and everything goes to shit.

“Come back home.”

“It’s too late.”

I’m sure he could’ve been referring to his actions thus far.

But I’m also sure that Kylo thought there was no home to return to because his mother was going to be killed in a matter of minutes and he failed to stop it. He’s already messed up so badly that he just wants to plunge into the dark side once and for all.

But he can’t even do that right either.


hey everybody my plans for getting a job over the summer ended up being a complete and utter failure and I have no cash so in short I’m going to need money for this upcoming school year!!!

my prices and examples are as listed above but you can also look through my art tag for more examples :)

I can do a lot of things but I will not do anything nsfw or with gore

if you are interested please send an email to cos.psz@gmail.com with references and a basic idea of what you want !!!! thank you !!!!!

anonymous asked:

As a hardcore Johnlock shipper, it can be a little hard watching this growing relationship between Sherlock and Molly, when it seems to come to romance. It makes me wonder if the writers are trying to open something up there. She's single now, presumably because she realized she's still in love with Sherlock. And with Jim coming back, it's seems like that might be another way for her to come in and play a huge part, which is fine, I love Molly. Just not as a romantic interest. Thoughts?

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Poor Unfortunate Souls: The Witch’s Cave

(A little later than I promised, but I’m still posting! I get points for trying…


Anyway, this is part two to @pale-silver-comb’s birthday present, you can find the beginning here:

Part One

Edit: There is now a Third Part as well!

Derek isn’t really sure what he will find when he enters the sea witch’s lair; bones, maybe, or a few odds and ends hidden in darkened corners that made nerves prickle and tails twitch in fear…

What he sees instead are brightly colored baubles and trinkets all covered by sunlight streaming through a hole in the upper reaches of the cave, including some of those Human coins that Derek had compared the sea witch’s eyes to, which makes him blush and quickly look away when he spots them.

Instead he focuses on the fact that the sea witch didn’t go very far into the cave, and that he looks a little surprised to see that Derek had even followed him the first place…

There is a suspended moment of silence as they simply stare at each other, Derek quietly waiting for instructions and the sea witch in shock, before the stillness starts to get to Derek and he’s overcome with the need to break it.

“This isn’t really what I expected…”

His words seem to shake off whatever bit of quiet that had overtaken the sea witch, the other’s lips stretching into a smirk that seemed to say that he wasn’t surprised by Derek’s comment. “And what were you expecting? A cauldron of billowing fluids? Pieces of various Aquids, so dismembered you couldn’t tell if they were mammal, fish or Mer?”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

do u have any tips for how i can become more of an (emotionally) independent person and stop seeking validation from other people? perhaps specific things i could do?

like honestly idk how i got to this point there wasn’t really anything i specifically did… i guess it was just conscious thinking, in a way. whenever i felt slighted by someone i would always just try and remember that they probably didn’t mean it maliciously and just did it because they were more focused on themselves. like i just came to accept the flaws that humanity inevitably has, mainly selfishness, and then i kind of stopped expecting so much from other people. 

we kind of seek validation from other people because we trust their perspective on ourselves more than we trust our own… but this is a double edged sword because we end up judging their perspective based on our own perceived image of ourselves, so in the end seeking validation from other people is just us interpreting their actions for them in order to justify the preconceived notions that we hold for ourselves, in a way?

lol does that make sense? basically this is the fact: unless it’s spelled out for us, we have no idea what anyone is thinking. we have no insight on how they feel about us. and yet we end up twisting every actions they make to somehow come back to being related to us. we do this unconsciously, and it makes sense: people are inherently going to see the world as how it relates to them. we are the center of our own world, we’re the only perspective we’ll ever have, everything that happens in our life affects us in some way. but what we fail to remember is that everyone else is thinking in that way too.

everyone out there is naturally self-centered. there’s nothing wrong with this, but it does lead to misunderstandings. we end up feeling like everything other people do that affects us (positively or negatively) is some kind of statement on our character. but the fact is (most of the time) other people’s actions are rarely related to us or how they feel about us. other people are just going through life making decisions that they feel bring up the best outcome for them, and sometimes just forget to think about how other people are going to feel. they’re not doing this to be mean, or cruel, or because they hate you. they’re just doing this because their world view is naturally kind of narrow, they can only see how their actions will affect them.

but then we take their actions and use them to try and fulfill ideas we already have about ourselves. if we dislike ourselves, we’re going to twist what people say and do in order to back up that feeling and vice versa.

when people do things that make us feel bad, but most likely aren’t meant to, such as an offhand comment that reminds you of an insecurity, or not inviting you out somewhere, or just in general not interacting with you as much as you’d like, they’re doing that passively. they’re not usually making a conscious decision: “i’m doing this because i want to make so and so feel bad”. they’re just focused on their own life and the direct consequences of their actions regarding themselves. they aren’t making a statement on your character.

but in contrast, most of the time when people do things that make us feel good, such as compliments, acknowledgement, etcetera, those are conscious actions. people show that they love us because they decide to. they are being selfless in that moment. they are caring about you, in particular, because they want to. and they want to let you know.

so i guess i’ve just adopted a philosophy of understanding. of trying to understand human beings and just accepting the shortcomings that will inevitable arise. when someone does something that makes me feel slighted, i just remember that there have been times in my life that i’ve probably unconsciously done the same to someone else and meant nothing by it, and i don’t take it personally. when someone does something that makes me feel good, i appreciate it in its entirety, because that’s a conscious decision on their part. i don’t expect them to go out of their way to make me feel good, but if they do, then i’ll really take it to heart, because they didn’t have to.

but beyond how other people feel about me, this philosophy almost allows me to be easier on myself. my mess ups, my failures, my flaws- they’re natural and a part of life. as long i just focus on myself and being better, i don’t completely need that validation from other people. i know my limits and i know my talents, i know what i’m capable of, and i measure myself based on that knowledge.

in the end though, we all need at least some validation from others, we’re an incredibly social species after all, but the key is to not allow the thoughts and feelings of other people to define you- for 1) unless they come out and tell you, you can’t definitely know how they feel, so you may be judging yourself based on a misunderstanding, for 2) they don’t know you in your entirety, they’d be judging you based on a snapshot you give them of yourself, and for 3) they’re flawed and human as well, not gods, their opinion isn’t law.

so yeah. i guess that’s all i have to say on the matter? i just kind of word vomited my thought process lol.. hope it’s all coherent.