or where dave's other hand is

okay so i’ve been thinking about the not-impossible scenario where the alpha and remaining beta trolls are saved from the dream bubbles and brought to earth

first of all, roxy throws aranea in gay baby jail. eventually she’s let out with meenah as a parole officer. this responsibility is handed to terezi one hour and a charred city block later

cronus gets so many restraining orders. there’s a kickstarter to maroon him on some tiny island

mituna steals dave’s tony hawk collection and vanishes for months. latula is the only one who is permitted to join him, and the only one who even knows where he is

the zahhaks start a robot fighting ring. this eventually results in the events of big hero 6

nepeta recreates livejournal. meulin recreates deviantart. dave cries

sollux and aradia run a space travel program, abusing their powers to expedite the process. aradia keeps trying to find aliens. or better yet, alien ruins. sometimes jade comes along on their adventures and snatches and shrinks meteorites and gives them to people

damara is every other internet troll. when she’s not wrecking havoc on denizens of the web she watches extremely dark animes. eventually she lets rufioh join her, though she always picks the most graphic and distressing animes for these occasions (to test his limits). sometimes he cries

eridan is the only men’s rights activist on the planet. he’s very stubborn about it, though, and frequently stands in pouring rain holding signs. he is ignored. damara trolls him mercilessly online. she’s also catfishing him in every quadrant at once with five different accounts

kurloz does juggalo things. he gains a small following, though most of the people are there for ironic reasons. he’s okay with that

porrim is an instant celebrity. kanaya is regularly asked for her number, and responds with a different number every time. rose catches wind of this, and gives kanaya a list of numbers for these situations. kanaya calls one of them out of curiosity and is subjected to a recording of rose and dave’s dramatic reading of my immortal

kankri… does what he does best. he has the second highest number of restraining orders after cronus

feferi gets into wildlife rescue. healing powers are pretty handy in that field. she keeps forgetting that they work on non-animals too

vriska is banned from all casinos on the planet within hours. it’s far too late by then

gamzee is one of those cartoon dudes who sits on top of a mountain and will dispense wisdom to anyone who manages to reach him. he just says “honk”

lastly, i think jasprose and davepeta would quickly get bored of normal life and go on trips to various sburb sessions throughout paradox space, meeting different species and helping out clueless adolescent dorks. sometimes they bring one of the nannasprites along. once they left her in a session alone for a couple weeks by accident. they rush to fetch her and found that she had made enough cookies to create a stack rivaling the kids’ houses in height. their species doesn’t even eat solids. they appreciate the thought regardless

i keep thinking about how dave and karkat as kids were both so fucking weird about expressing or receiving expressions of affection. like they both grew up in environments of extreme traumatic emotional isolation and dave responded to it by always striving to be really reserved and in-communicative abt feelings in a way that is not and has never been his nature, and karkat just became incredibly neurotic and insecure about any open or forthright expression of affection because he was always so terrified of being shot down and rejected or screwing things up

and like in the flash its killing me how like. all the little expressions of affection and intimacy between them are so easy? they’re like sharing headphones and holding hands and snuggling on the couch. like they’ve cultivated a dynamic where they can be openly sweet with each other and i’m just thinking about like. what a process it must have been for dave to feel like that was an ok safe thing for him to do. and for karkat to feel like it wasn’t something he had to freak out about every time and he wasn’t going to ruin it or fuck it up and it wasn’t going to Go Away At Any Second. like. they must feel really secure with each other..

i’m just like. holy shit i’m so happy about this as a development in both their characters like jfc its so gratifying to see them like being in a better place and being good for each other and being happy. fucking help me

Strider quirks

@purposefromthejawsoffutility‘s post on Dave’s accent got me thinking about the Striders and their quirks. 

Dave’s is stream of consciousness–no punctuation at all–and very rhythmic. Casual, but emotional (like spoken word poetry or, say, rap). Still, it’s pretty devoid of any sort of regional dialect. Out of context I would probably just say American. He doesn’t slip the y’alls in there until he starts talking aloud, and he only really drops his g’s when he’s talking to Dirk. Clearly, he doesn’t want to advertise where he’s from when he’s just messaging. 

Dirk, on the other hand, totally wants to advertise where he’s from, because he isn’t from anywhere. He and Rose are the only kids with perfect grammar and syntax, but he routinely drops the ends off gerunds (fuckin, thinkin), and I would bet that his accent is actually heavier than Dave’s, because he cultivated it. He based most of his style and worldview off impressions of Alpha Dave, and probably copied his speech patterns. And I think the juxtaposition of overly verbose, intellectual prose with the dropped g’s would appeal to his sense of irony. Of course, your accent has nothing to do with how intellectual you are–it’s just a stereotype. But all Dirk has to go on are stereotypes and oh. okay i went and made myself sad at the end. 

anonymous asked:

What do you think of an au where the beta kids are the crystal gems? john would be steven, rose would be pearl, jade would be amethyst and dave would be garnet

omf g

that would be cute

on the other hand if the alpha kids were the ones to raise him it would be funny because they’d have good intentions but they’d be so bad at it too lmao

so it definitely seems like in canon dave and karkat are Together, hold hands, cuddle, smooch, all that

but I’m kind of cracking myself up thinking about an au where they just…don’t get that they’re completely head over heels in love with each other

dave comes out of the juju and they’re hugging and crying but still just Don’t Get It

finally when they’re like 25 or something they’re like hmm wait and everyone else just wants to die

My Brother’s Best Friend

@anhonourablecaptain continued from here

Shaking his head, Liam dragged a hand through the mess of curls on his head frustrated by James’ dismissal at the truth behind his words. “When was the last time you saw me drunk, James…” he sighed, his skin growing uncomfortably warm where James’ hand leant on his shoulder. The alcohol barley sounded like a bad idea now, anything to get rid of the uncomfortable want itching beneath his skin.

“I don’t know, thought you might have broken into Killian’s liquor cabinet…” James could see the discomfort in the other man’s body language, and knowing Liam very rarely drank to an extent that would cloud his mind or his vision, he realised there was nothing but truth in his words. “Liam…” He sighed, dragging his free hand through his hair. No, Liam’s interested in Dave, he has to be. “What about Dave?”

                         sensei || backdropstarlet

Dirk shows up back in LA precisely at ten AM – he had gotten an address from Dave yesterday and, true to his word, he’s perfectly on time.

It’s not Dirk’s clothes that make him stand out in a crowd. He’s barely average height, and he’s naturally small, hiding the worst of his scrawniness with baggy clothes, his hands shoved in his hoodie pockets. No, what makes him exemplary are his startling orange eyes and his hair, a golden-blond that shimmers, faceted and iridescent, in the light. It looks like someone had taken live flames and woven them into strands of hair. He looks around and makes eye contact with someone staring at him. “I’m looking for a guy named Dave Strider… d’you know where I could find him?”

Everyone here seems to be human. That’s weird. Regardless, Dirk is sent off in Dave’s direction. Hopefully the other guy will see Dirk, because Dirk is quickly getting lost.