or stuck in traffic in it

All That Matters

A/N: Okay all my works have been angst (with the exception of crack fics), so I feel the need to write some cute ass fluffy shit so I can prove to everyone that my heart isn’t a black chasm of nothing. 

Description: Everything begins to fall apart for Spencer and Y/N’s wedding day and they calm each other down.

Originally posted by sweetg


“It’s all ruined! Ruined I say!” Penelope screamed running into the room.

“What – what happened?!” you panicked.

“The flower arrangements got shipped to the wrong address, the minister is stuck in traffic, and Spencer’s pants!” she exclaimed breathlessly.

“Spencer’s pants?” JJ, your maid of honor, asked.

“He decided to go take a little walk outside –

“In the rain?” Emily cut her off.

“Yes…. And anyway, he tripped over some rocks and now his pants are all wet and muddy,” she explained.

Oh my God, oh my god. You were freaking out. You had been planning this day for two whole years and it had already gone to shit.

“No, no, no,” you paced back and forth.

JJ got up to comfort you, and Penelope started to pour a drink into a glass.

“Y/N, listen it’s okay. We’ll run to the store, get Spencer some pants. The minister is on his way and that’s what’s important,” she said softly as she rubbed your back.

“And the flowers?” you demanded.

“I don’t know……” JJ mumbled.

“WELL HOW AM I GONNA HAVE A WEDDING WITHOUT FLOWERS, JJ?” you screamed.

JJ jumped up, startled. Emily stared at you wide eyed. And Penelope started approaching you glass in hand.

“Sweetie here, this will calm you down,” she said, holding a glass of red wine in her hand.

“Penny, you’re a lifesaver,” you grabbed the drink from her hand. “Maybe all I need is a little alcohol to unwin-

SHIT! Midsentence your hand slipped, and you’d accidentally poured the drink all over the top half of your dress. The red sunk in between the lace embroidery, and bled into your strapless bra. All that could go wrong had went wrong. You sat yourself down on the white ottoman and wept.

“Y/N, sweetie, I’m so sorry,” Penelope mumbled. She reached for some tissues on the table and began to clean you up.

“Stop….” You muttered. She didn’t hear you. “Oh my fucking god, Penny, stop!” you yelled.

She looked up at you, tears stung at her eyes, “I’m sorry, I was just trying to help,” she sniffed.

“I know, honey. It’s not your fault,” you sighed. “This day just sucks,” you crossed your arms.

Emily walked over to you and touched her hand to your shoulder. “Look, I know everything isn’t going how you thought it would, but think about what matters,” she consoled. “You love Spencer, and he loves you. And one day you guys are going to look back at this day and laugh.”

“Yeah,” you mumbled. “Will you guys excuse me for a moment?” you asked, as you began to leave the room.

JJ ran over to the door and blocked it, Penelope followed. “No, no you are not going to get cold feet right now!” JJ scolded.

“We aren’t going to let you hurt Spencer like this!” Penelope added.

“Guys, relax. I’m just going to talk to Spence,” you explained.

JJ and Penelope exchanged a look and nodded. They believed you.

“Very well,” JJ hesitated, walking away from the door.

“And Y/N,” Penelope pointed straight at you. “Don’t you dare let him see you,” she warned.

You sighed, she was always one for being superstitious. But you nodded nonetheless for the sake of appeasing her. You opened the door and made your way down a bright hallway. It was honestly beautiful, unlike the deranged bridezilla walking down it. The glimpse you got of yourself in the side mirror was horrendous. All the crying you did reduced you to a panda, your dress looked was stained, and your hair was disheveled from your constant pulling of it.

When you finally made it to Spencer’s dressing room, you extended your arm to knock on it. Before you had the chance, however, Derek stopped you.

“Woah there, Pretty Girl, what do you think you’re doing?” he asked.

“Derek, I just wanna talk to him,” you rolled your eyes. “I’m freaking out, and Spencer is the only thing that will calm me down right now.”

He paused. “Okay fine, just don’t let him see you.”

“You too?” you groaned.

“Pardon?”

“Did Penny make you all superstitious too?”

“Hey, Y/N, it isn’t about superstition, it’s just a wedding tradition,” he defended. “But go ahead and talk to your Pretty Boy, I think he could actually use you too right now.”

“Thanks, Derek,” you smiled.

“I’ll give you two some privacy,” he said, walking out of the hallway.

You waited until Derek was out of the clear before knocking on the door.

“Spence, you there?”

“I think so,” he whimpered.

“How are you doing?” you asked.

“Pretty bad, how about you?”

“I’m not so good either,” you replied. You crouched down so you were now sitting on the ground and hugging your knees. “I thought everything was going to be so perfect you know?”

“Yeah, me too. I ruined my pants,” he commented.

“I heard….but it’s okay. I ruined my dress, so we’re both a mess,” you chuckled slightly.

You heard him laugh as well. “Hey, Y/N, I know neither of us are the superstitious, so do you maybe want to go outside and talk to each other? Away from all this.”

“I’d love that,” you smiled. “I’ll go out the backdoor you can…..

“Window, I’ll go out the window.” He offered.

“Okay, just make sure not to fall down again,” you joked.  

“Damn you, Mrs. Reid,” he retorted.

You laughed again and headed for the backdoor. You looked around every now and then to make sure no one saw you. When you reached the door, you scanned the hallway one last time. No one. Delightful. You opened the door and immediately were greeted by heavy downpour. You squinted slightly to look for Reid. The visibility was so bad you couldn’t see anything within ten feet.

“Y/N, over here!” Spencer called out.

You turned your head around, and saw your soon-to-be husband sitting on a long white bench. You pulled up your dress so you didn’t trip on the steps and walked over.

“You look stunning,” he complimented, standing in front of him now.

“Yeah right,” you scoffed, sitting yourself down. “I look awful.”

“Y/N, you want to talk about awful? Just look at this,” he pointed to his extremely dirty pants.

“We can both be messes together,” you giggled.

“You’re my mess though,” he kissed the top of your head.

You rested your head onto his shoulder and sighed. “I lied to Penny and said I wouldn’t go see you.”

“She would freak if she knew we were here,” Spencer commented.

“Yeah, she would probably be showering us with four leaf clovers, horse shoes, and rabbit feet,” you laughed. “Why are rabbit feet considered lucky anyway? Seems weird as hell.”

Spencer wagged his finger, his classic sign before a rambling session. “The common North American myth originates from the African-American folk spirituality known as hoodoo,” he began. “It’s said that rabbit’s feet are lucky because of their reproductive habits, so carrying a rabbit’s foot was thought to help with fertility.”

“Oh, well we don’t have to worry about that for a while,” you said.

“If Garcia knew about that, I think she would give us rabbit feet non-stop. She always loves a potential godchild to spoil,” he chuckled.

“I can’t wait for that,” you beamed.

“For kids?” he asked.

“All of it. I can’t for us. I can’t wait for us to get married, to have kids, and I can’t wait for us to grow old together,” you answered.

“Me neither, Y/N,” Spencer gushed.

He leaned his forehead into yours and pecked you on the lips.

“Ready to go back inside?” you whispered.

“Absolutely,” he smiled.

You both got up, and held hands. You weren’t freaked out anymore. 

You had Spencer, and that’s the only thing that mattered.

anonymous asked:

bruh i loved dan x amy like it was a fun little bad ship but holy fUck why?????? amy would never want kids why do male writers insist on forcing women to have children i fucking hate it

remember when amy said ‘they say all babies are cute but whoever ‘they’ are should be stuck in a stroller and pushed into traffic’?
remember when amy had to take care of that kid during the alicia ep and she hesitantly asked the mom ‘do i hold her hand?’
remember when she had to look over a class of 2nd graders w/ dan and she could not do it?

LEGO BATMAN HEADCANNONS

I had to do it here we go:

  • Before Dick came along, Bruce had never ate any “children” foods (hardly ate anything besides lobster thermidor tbh) like chicken nuggets, mac and cheese etc… So he finally had an excuse to try them and now it’s all he ever eats.
  • Joker is roommates w/ Harley and constantly tries to set her up with some of the other bad girls in town but he always ends up ruining it by squealing too loud when spying on her and her potential date. He blames it on his car.
  • Whenever Dick needs help with his homework Bruce will make him take online tests just to laugh at the dumb names the whole time
  • Alfred was both the mother and father figure for Bruce when he was growing up. Once he almost got into an argument with himself out loud because of his conflicting parental instincts about taking Bruce to the park instead of making him study for a test.
  • On father’s day Dick wrote a really bad heartfelt poem for Bruce and he cried for twenty minutes.
  • If Dick ever almost reveals Batman’s identity to people/talks about going on missions he pauses mid-sentence and starts screaming until they leave.
  • The batfam plays Wii Party (specifically Board Game Island) together on a weekly basis and it’s extremely competitive. I’m talking cheating, pillows thrown and game consoles unplugged. It usually ends in tears and physical fighting.
  • Everyone in Gotham highkey ships Batman and the Joker and it makes for really awkward fights in public (it’s like a sea of fangirls every time they fight it’s crazy).
  • Bruce would sacrifice himself physically/emotionally/mentally/spiritually at any given time if it would make Dick laugh.
  • Speaking of which it’s a tradition for random friends/bystanders to try and make Batman laugh when he’s out doing whatever and it’s only been done twice. Dick broke him once when he interrupted one of Joker’s long monologues during a fight by chucking a traffic cone at his head and it managed to get stuck. The only other time was when Batman and Joker were fighting and Joker was raging about how much he hated him and a little kid just looks up and yells “I THINK YOU NEED SOME WATER BECAUSE YOU’RE THIRSTY AF” and Joker looked so offended and Robin had to take over for Batman because he actually couldn’t stop laughing and didn’t stop talking about it for days.

i was stuck in traffic but at least i had a beautiful view
miami 
february 20, 2017

instagram: richhomiehua
Gear: Leica M240 35mm
Settings: ƒ/2 1/500 250 ISO

Baseball (M)

(I can’t get over baseball Jungkook so I had to write something)

╳ Pairing: Jungkook x Reader 

╳ Genre: smut | One shot

╳ Summary: You hated being dragged to baseball games because your best friends boyfriend was on the team. But maybe this time wasn’t going to be so bad.


“You know I hate baseball” You said, your arm being dragged as your friend pulled you across your lawn.

“Yes, and basically any sport” Your friend Rylee said, unlocking her car door. “But today is his big game and I really want you to come along!”

Keep reading

MOBILE MASTERLIST

I haven’t updated this in about 9 billion years so I’d say it’s time I updated it… Because there are so many reactions, I’ve put all of them under the cut!

As of February 5, 2017…


~ = TRIGGER WARNING

* = SEXUAL CONTENT


Keep reading

I’m stuck in traffic, at a red light and it hit me, I can’t believe you’re mine.
There was a time when we were complete strangers, stealing looks like it was a crime. Now you’re part of my soul and you have so much control on my heart, but instead of being scared, I’ve never felt safer in my whole life.
—  giulswrites
100 Scurvy Pirate Prompts

Me amigos, ‘tis be ye cap'n @promptguy. Thank ye fer all th’ submissions. I translated some to be more scurvy pirate. 'tis might be th’ best list so far.

  1. “Which lovely booty ye be eyein’? th’ curvy wench’s or th’ shit-barnacles ye can’t spy wit’ ye eye in yon chest?”
  2. “oh me god! th’ boat be leakin’!” “No, that’s just bilge rum”
  3. Scribe 'bout a scurvy pirate that be scared 'o th’ ocean
  4. Ye discover that Prompt Guy be actually th’ Flyin’ Dutchman
  5. A pirate ship encounters sirens who use their song to lure them. th’ band 'o pirates give a go’ to escape but 'tis later revealed that th’ sirens don’t want sink them but join them
  6. 'tis ye first day on ship, 'n ye’re in learnin’. All th’ other members on board be experienced 'n professionals at their ship except 1. That one be ye “trainin’ laddie”… a child Jack Sparrow.
  7. “walk thee fuckin plank ye scallywag”
  8. Ye be th’ cap'n 'o a crew 'o Githyanki band 'o pirates, 'n ye be huntin’ ye quarry in th’ astral plane. th’ problem be, ye quarry consists 'o a ship full 'o illithids, or mind-flayers, who had previously enslaved ye kind wit’ their mental powers
  9. Ye got captured by band 'o pirates. be tellin’ a story on how ye end up becomin’ cap'n fer that scurvy pirate ship. Bonus points if ye scribe a way ye do it that dont murder anyone nor end up wit’ physical harm.
  10. Bin got a pair words fer ye scurvy dogs: “Shark Bait.”
  11. Poseidon, th’ God 'o th’ Sea, has chosen ye as his vessel. He whispers in ye mind, “by sea be th’ only way to travel.” ye embark on a journey, killin’ anybody who dares take an airplane or car.
  12. Ye’ve always thought that havin’ a peg leg’d be cool, but arh, the maintenaince yeh have to do to keep up yer cool appearance!
  13. “ye’re seriously makin’ me swim th’ plank again?!”
  14. A pirate cap'n goes on a mission to reclaim th’ pirate ship that was stolen from him 'n free his crew members from imprisonment
  15. Ye have traveled long 'n far in search 'o an infamous treasure that ye 'n ye crew have be searchin’ fer fer 16 years. Upon discoverin’ it, ye open th’ chest only to find a map leadin’ to another treasure. th’ value 'o friendship.
  16. They shout that treasures best be hidden on land. Yer cap'n be sayin’ they’re all lyin’. Yer cap'n be sayin’ th’ best place to be hidin’ treasure be in th’ heart 'o a storm.
  17. Ye ship be sunk, ye maties abandoned ye, but ye still have th’ gold… 'n spiced rum.
  18. Ye be kidnapped from ye home in th’ dead 'o nightfall 'n brought onto a ship wit’ a crew 'o 100 band 'o pirates. As ye look on in fear, they all bow below before ye. One 'o them introduces themselves as ye First Matey. ye be now their cap'n.
  19. Ye muster onboard a scurvy pirate ship, hopin’ to get some doubloons 'n th’ comradery ye sorely missed in th’ navy. But turns out th’ ship ye ended up on has a secret ye would never have guessed…
  20. A forbidden lust story between a sea cap'n 'n a siren he meets at sea.
  21. Ye’ve always wanted to be a scurvy pirate. ye even got ye chance when a fleet 'o them attacked ye town. th’ problem? ye’re a 'land-lubber’ 'n 'tis isn’t a nice world. ye’ll have to prove ye can handle bein’ a scurvy pirate just to make it out 'o th’ brig
  22. Ye’ve just taken control 'o a merchant ship only to find that th’ entire crew be more scared 'o th’ 4 year barnacle-covered girly offsprin’ 'o th’ wealthy tradesman ye’ve locked away. When she smiles, ye spy wit’ ye eye storms in her eyes - 'n then she laughs…
  23. Ye find a cursed treasure. When a piece 'o gold be spent it disappears. How do ye spend ye loot.
  24. “No women allowed on board!” says th’ cap'n. He finds out, one by one, that every member 'o his crew be a woman wit’ a fake beard.
  25. That scurvy scalawag Blackhearted Benton just stole yer ship wit’ all yer lovely booty! GET IT BACK!
  26. “Stop playin’ yer dratted cello, matey, 'n help me sword fight off Blackbeard!”
  27. Ye be th’ first astronaut to be sent to explore th’ galaxy. Suddenly, ye re stopped by space band 'o pirates, 'n be forced to choose between roamin’ aimlessly forever or joinin’ their crew.
  28. Ye got into th’ piratin’ business fer one reason - so ye can afford a ship in Malibu.
  29. “Remind me; if women be bad luck, why do we have a female cap'n?”
  30. Mermaid band 'o pirates. They find new islands 'n take down their enemies wit’ th’ help 'o sea creatures. Their ship be called “Poseidon”
  31. Band 'o pirates that set out to be villains accidentally return as jolly guys by screwin’ plans up
  32. Ye be a feared scurvy pirate who can control all th’ monsters roamin’ th’ seven seas, however ye worst enemy can control th’ oceans themselves.
  33. tell an entire tale in pirate talk, me hearty…
  34. Ye character just got accepted into MIT 'n be sailin’ towards th’ “scurvy pirate Certificate” (pistols, riflery, rowin’, fencin’.) wee do they be knowin’ that these courses be taught by actual band 'o pirates.
  35. An underground illegal racin’ rig has be started that involves scurvy pirate ships battlin’ though a rum track in a Need fer Speed style wit’ steampower-ups included
  36. Ye awaken on a scurvy pirate ship, last thin’ ye remember before 'tis was shoutin’ to a guy in th’ tavern at port. th’ cap'n had bought ye 'n ye be now sailin’ on th’ ship, what happens while ye be at sea?
  37. “HAND ME THAT MAP OR SO HELP ME I’LL CUT IT OFF YA HANDS!”
  38. You turn on the Pirate Speak in Minecraft under language options as a joke, but then ye start findin’ that yer land lubber mates in reality arrrre beginnin’ ta talk like ol’ sea dogs, and even tha signs ‘round yer town turn inta Pirate Speak. Soon a squaky bird takes to perchin’ on yer shoulder. Tha townsfolk begin ta ask fer yer okay on things o’ trivial matter. Yer first mate, who lost 'is leg years ago ta scurvy, suddenly had a peg 'stead of a prosthetic. Congrats, matey– yer tha cap'n of tha town
  39. “Arrrr! the hour to loot EA 'o their precious Sims lovely booty!!”
  40. 'tis not uncommon fer a scurvy pirate to loose a hand or a foot on his travels. ye 'n ye crew dig up a chest full 'o hands 'n feet.
  41. Ye swore on a loved one’s grave that ye would someday sail to th’ legendary Grand Arcada, an ocean which none have ever found. this day, ye awoke to find ye ship stolen from ye - 'n th’ strange people seem to be changin’ ye course…
  42. A pirate loses his scurvy pirate accent 'n has to go find a different ship because they don’t fit in anymore.
  43. Ye find an ancient treasure map, 'n indeed, under th’ “X” thar’s buried treasure. But what’s under th’ “Y” 'n “Z”?
  44. Ye cap'n has caught a deadly disease, 'n be on th’ verge 'o Davy Jones’ treasure chest. ye 'n ye crew decide to pull one last raid wit’ them. th’ big one.
  45. Th’ band 'o pirates 'n th’ vampires have come to together to stop th’ ultimate evil. How do ye defend yourself?
  46. Cap'n Gus has a secret, his magic beard grows more wild 'n tangled wit’ every wind it ensnares. Cuttin’ a hair causes a mild breeze, a lock 'o his beard unleashes a strong wind. Now, captured 'n condemned to execution, he asks if he could shave
  47. Ye be th’ cap'n 'o th’ most infamous scurvy pirate ship on th’ seven seven seas, ye 'n ye crew have be through pretty much everythin’ together. Currently ye be on th’ hunt fer mer-people, they fetch high prices on th’ black market fer their beauty. What ye crew dont be knowin’ however be that ye be a mer-person 'n ye 'n ye kind only have tails when ye peglegs get wet.ye’re in th’ middle 'o a bath in ye quarters when ye first matey bustles in to speak to ye 'bout th’ ship’s course.
  48. Ye be a notorious scurvy pirate. ye’ve always be able to outrun th’ navy, but 'tis the hour they’re gainin’ on ye. ye agree to make a deal wit’ one 'o th’ lesser captains. What do they shout to ye?
  49. Arr, ye main character be kidnapped by a scurvy pirate at sea! It turns out th’ sea isn’t what it seems to be when he throws ye overboard to die….
  50. Ye cap'n has be noticeably feelin’ down, how does one scurvy pirate cheer up their cap'n back to their jolly self?
  51. What do ye do wit’ a drunken sailer?
  52. Ye’re a pirate who’s totally new to th’ business 'o stealin’ treasure from authoritative figures 'n don’t really be knowin’ what ye’re doin’. Suddenly, a dragon shows up 'n offers to tutor ye in piracy. What next?
  53. “What be land? I have forgotten.”
  54. Ye’re an undercover employee 'o th’ british government onboard a pirate ship on 'tis way to an uncharted island. ye mission be to find out what th’ band 'o pirates be goin’ thar fer.
  55. A pirate wit’ a rubber duck hand instead 'o a rusted hook
  56. Lesbian pirate flirtin’ wit’ sirens
  57. Ye were sent by th’ British government to spy on a notorious cap'n. ye join his crew 'n climb up th’ ranks 'til ye become his first matey. A few days before ye be to betray him, he tells ye a secret that changes everythin’. What be it?
  58. Th’ cap'n has gone missin’ overnight. ye, a mere chef, be th’ only one who can manage to control th’ crew. ye need to find whar ye cap'n has gone to.
  59. She was they best cap'n to sail th’ sea’s. She was Black Beard.
  60. Band 'o pirates be pillagin’ ye village, lookin’ fer somethin’. What they’re lookin’ fer be a wee unorthodox
  61. Th’ year be th’ far future, 'n space travel has be achieved. th’ human race has be denied entry into th’ galactic federations set up hundreds 'o years before their time. So, instead, we become space band 'o pirates. All 'o us.
  62. All ye pirates be sufferin from th’ evil scurvy, no matter how much citrus or undercooked meat they brin’ on th’ poop deck. they shout yer crews favoured wi th’ devil, but wee do they be knowin’ ye’ve just found th’ third cure to th’ scurvy
  63. “fer th’ last the time, don’t be puttin’ me tattered eyepatch in th’ dryer!”
  64. Ye look almost exactly like th’ female version 'o ye twin brother. Unfortunately, ye twin brother just so happens to be th’ notorious cap'n 'o a pirate crew. One day, he be killed, 'n th’ crew asks ye to pretend to be him so as to continue
  65. Th’ mermaid they pulled from th’ ocean turns out to be a jolly fighter. Maybe too jolly. Sh just killed th’ cap'n.
  66. Ye got scurvy. How ya gonna hide it from th’ cap'n?
  67. Ye pirate ship be stuck in 5 O'clock traffic. Somehow.
  68. Ye’re a stowaway on th’ dreaded cap'n LongBeard’s ship, tryin’ to find out whar he hides his treasure. Only problem be, ye’ve gotten caught sneakin’ around below deck.
  69. Ye’re th’ only jolly scurvy pirate in ye crew. ye’ve be tryin’ to keep it a secret, but then ye ship happens to sail past a group 'o sirens…
  70. Ye command one 'o th’ fiercest scurvy pirate ships in th’ seven seas. Just th’ mention 'o ye crew sends fear into th’ hearts 'o men 'n women. th’ only thin’ be, ye’ve never stepped foot on a boat.
  71. Ye’ve be travelin’ th’ seven seas fer a while now. Nothin’ can stand in ye way; ye 'n ye crew be unstoppable. 'til one thin’ crossed ye paths. What be that one thin’ 'n how do ye overcome it?
  72. Ye be th’ toughest scurvy pirate around. ye won many fights, pillaged many towns, 'n plundered dozens 'o ships. nothin’ could stand in ye way to riches, not even- oh god be that a baby on ye ship? who brought a baby?
  73. Ye be sailin’ th’ seven seven seas when yer lovely booty grows peglegs 'n starts swimmin’ off. How do ya catch a swimmin’ treasure hoard?
  74. Ye be a sea cap'n. Suddenly, ye ship lifts into th’ air. ye’re bein’ raided by sky band 'o pirates!
  75. Due to men believin’ eatin’ fruit was too feminine, th’ seven seas be now ruled by female band 'o pirates who beat their weakened males counterparts. Now, ye’re at a parrrty drinkin’ ornge spiced juice wit’ th’ victors.
  76. All ye pirates knows only women be sailors. Can ye think 'o anythin’ more unlucky than to have a scurvy dog onboard a ship? Still, rumour has it that th’ fiercest scurvy pirate ship 'o them all has a only-male crew.
  77. Ye meet Sodomy McScurvyLegs 'n buy a fitness regime. It opens up a whole new seven seas fer ye, an endless sea 'o knowledge… 'bout lovely booty.
  78. Turns out 'tis eyepatch be cursed to ne'er come off! Too bad ye put it on t’ wrong eye!
  79. Yrr secret island has been made into a parking lot and is overrun by scurvy lawyers while you were pirating. How do you fight lawyers? Your treasure is under that asphalt.
  80. Th’ cap'n 'o a magical sailin’ pirate ship takes several orphans under her proverbial win’s as new crew members
  81. “I lost m'hand to a shark, but I lost me eye to…”
  82. A rollickin’ scurvy pirate adventure from th’ point 'o view 'o th’ ship’s sea monster: th’ cat
  83. A classic pirate adventure wit’ a cursed object. Part 'o th’ curse be that th’ scurvy pirate cap'n 'n crew can never leave th’ ship 'n must come up wit’ creative ways to plunder, pillage, 'n eventually break th’ curse.
  84. Cuddle band 'o pirates- th’ fluffiest, snuggliest scurvy pirate crew ye can imagine, inexplicably survivin’ through skill 'n pluck in a grimdark hyper-edgy universe, rebellin’ against th’ grim 'n gritty status quo wit’ unflinchin’ optimism 'n hugs.
  85. “How th’ muck did ye get onto me ship 'n why be ye naked”
  86. “So ye meanin’ to be tellin’ me th’ map, which ye bought off a street vendor at Ivery Island, be an authentic map that leads to a literal buried treasure. scurvy dog, speak 'bout cliche.”
  87. Ye be highly disappointed when ye discover that th’ famous deadly 'Kraken’ be actually just a nutcracker.
  88. Two pirates travel th’ seven seas lookin’ fer lovely booty, but it turns out all they really want be each others lovely booty
  89. Ye finally come home from a year at sea 'n have to explain to ye main wench how ye got syphillis
  90. A scurvy pirate find th’ greatest treasure to be had: an island covered in lovely booty.
  91. Ye’re a pirate explorin’ uncharted waters when suddenly a giant hand made out 'o rum rises out 'o th’ ocean holdin’ a small baby wrapped in seaweed. th’ hand places th’ younglin’ on th’ deck 'o ye ship 'n disappears back into th’ depths. ye now have a child 'n a lot 'o questions.
  92. captains, greedy 'n tough 'n mean. But th’ strange thin’ 'bout him be that he wears a metal mask, 'n no one in th’ crew has ever seen him without it. One nightfall, ye resolve to spy wit’ ye eye th’ cap'n’s real face, so ye sneak into his cabin 'n sneak a peek 'o him sans mask. 'n what ye spy wit’ ye eye makes it clear to ye why ye cap'n would hide his face.
  93. Perhaps givin’ band 'o pirates Google Maps wasn’t th’..best idea
  94. Ye somehow became a pirate cap'n. One problem - ye be knowin’ nothin’ 'bout navigation…or ships…or fightin’ in general. But ye look well in a pirate coat 'n a hat, so thar be that.
  95. Ye’ve be captured by pirates, 'n thrown in th’ brig. th’ cap'n’s trusty parrot flies in, 'n says he can help ye escape.
  96. “Matey, yer lovely booty be th’ only one I be diggin’ fer t'night.”
  97. Ye’ve found pirate treasure by sheer dumb luck, but now th’ ghost 'o th’ lady pirate it belonged to be hauntin’ ye. 'n if that wasn’t that be all you can take, she’s got a crush on ye.
  98. Yer on a boat when suddenely yer First Mate throws 'imself over with no apparent reason. You dive in after him and find a grotto. What’s beyond it?
  99. Ye be that one guy on th’ ship that can swim. Somethin’ has jammed th’ rudder, stoppin’ th’ ship from makin’ it to port.
  100. Pretend ye’re a pirate 'n ye’ve just buried ye treasure. Draw a map 'n scribe below detailed instructions on how to find it again.

What prompt do ye like th’ most? Reblog if ye be a true scurvy pirate.

{PART 25} I Won’t Stop You // Jeon Jungkook, Vampire!AU

Originally posted by jengkook

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Vampire!AU, Fantasy, Angst, Smut

Summary; Jungkook dreams of having the future with you that he always envied human’s of having. But as soon as he arrives home, his entire world - and everything in it gets turned upside down. He must make a choice in the face of evil; while evil holds you in its grasp.

“And he found strength in the only thing that he was powerless to; it had always, from the very beginning; been her.”

I update this series every Tuesday evening, 9pm-10pm (UK Time) 

{Part 1} //{Part 24} {Part 25} {Part 26}

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16 Chores That Every ’90s Kid Had To Do

No ifs, ands, or buts! All ’90s kids definitely remember these.

1. Applying soothing ointment to your father’s Crash Bandicoot tattoo at least three times a day.


2. Sucking the Gak out of your house’s storm drain.


3. Taking your cousin to the hospital each Saturday to get the Push Pops removed.


4. Dropping Boris Yeltsin off to play Pogs with his CCD friends whenever Mom couldn’t.


5. Feeding Weezer.


6. Spending an hour after school each day fighting in the Gulf War.


7. Recloning Dolly the sheep after butchering her for family dinner.


8. Making funeral arrangements for Dean Martin.


9. Pulling all the AOL free-trial discs out of your grandma’s throat.


10. Birthing the Spice Girls.


11. Plugging your father’s ears all day to make sure he wouldn’t hear the “Macarena.”


12. Shooing the devil out of Windows 95.


13. Prying your little sister off the searing-hot metal slide her skin got fused to.


14. Handing out flannel shirts to all the people stuck in traffic behind Princess Diana’s accident.


15. Giving your Tamagotchi its daily Bible lesson.


16. Vacuuming the Muppets.

dutch gothic
  • You go to HEMA for office supplies. You go to HEMA for bed sheets. You go to HEMA for bread. You go to HEMA always, for everything, every day. There is no other shop. There is only HEMA.

  • You cycle to school. You cycle to HEMA. You cycle to your friends. You cycle to the big city closest to your tiny town. You cycle to the train station. You cycle to your grandparents. Your bike has broken down more times than you can count, yet, you keep cycling.

  • You take public transport to somewhere too far away to cycle. You’re inexplicably unnerved by this fact. You look out the window and you spot a mill on green stretches of land. You see another mill and another mill and another. You’re approaching the city center. Still, you see mills. You accept this, as everyone seems to do.

  • You enter Utrecht central station. You wonder if you are on an airport. You walk along the platforms, heading for platform 1. You don’t notice 6 and 10 and 13 are missing: no one ever does. And if they do, they don’t question this. Hours pass. You’re still walking toward platform 1. You thank god NS makes sure the trains are always late, so you’ll make it just in time. You arrive at the platform. “+10” it days on the sign. You sigh. You wait another 10 minutes and look again. “+20”, it says.

  • At the end of the basis school you take The Test. Your parents are more nervous than you. They tell you this Test dictates your entire future. The news tells you the same in a grave, slightly more ominous voice. You’re twelve years old.

  • When you’re in middelbare school, you notice the seniors suddenly disappear for approximately two weeks each year to perform a secret ritual in the largest room of the building. There are signs outside of this room warning you not to enter. You are frightened as the years pass, senior year coming increasingly closer; your fate uncertain as you finally enter the Forbidden Room. You cry. It’s the two most nerve-wrecking weeks of your life.

  • Everyone wants to go on holiday to the united states. Only a few chosen (read: rich) go. You ask them how it was and they tell you strange tales of shops other than HEMA, such as “target” and “costco”; of guns on display in supermarkets; how no one owns a bike. You stare, shaken, in disbelief and shock.

  • It’s the first real day of summer. It’s 20°C and kind of cloudy. You go to the beach. Everyone goes to the beach. You’re stuck in traffic for hours: everyone is headed for the same beach.

  • When you get to the beach, the water is cold as ice and there are jellyfish in the water. There are jellyfish on the sand. There are jellyfish in that shallow pool over there. There are jellyfish everywhere. You come back the next day. The jellyfish have vanished.

  • You’re sitting in the sun under a half broken windscreen. A few meters away, a boy is digging a hole. This means that the boy is german, you’ve learned. You look to your left. There, another german man digging a hole. And another. You smile ruefully. What would the beach be without germans digging holes? This is all very normal.

  • You go on holiday to another country. People think you’re german. You’ve accepted this. People always think you’re german. I’m Dutch, you say. They don’t understand. They laugh. You’re from germany right? They ask.

  • Stroopwafels seem to have built an international reputation. Foreigners adore them. You don’t understand. They’re cookies. Very good ones, yes. But the adoration for anything Dutch is something you cannot grasp.

  • There is a song about a guy named Herman reading in the newspaper that the man he’d sold his car to has crashed it and died. Everyone think Herman is dead, though. This makes him very happy. No one questions this fact. No one wonders if he tells his family he’s alive. No one asks who identified the body. Everyone knows the lyrics to this song.
Stood Up

This one’s prompt is quite long, so bare with me! So i’ve just watched the first two episode of Riverdale and i’m in love! And I saw this prompt and I really wanted to write it for Jughead Jones, which is my absolute favourite character. AND I have an announcement, REQUESTS ARE NOW OPEN AND I’VE ADDED RIVERDALE TO THE LIST. Please, send in some requests, specifically for the 100 or Riverdale! Thank you!

Prompt: You’ve been stood up by your boyfriend and just when you’re about to leave after being question many times, Jughead comes and sits down. Proclaiming he’s now your date and that he’d just been caught up in traffic jokingly, and the worst date ends up being the best.

Warnings: none. only that i’ve only watched the tv show, so i’m basing this purely off Cole Sprouse’s rendition of Jughead.


Originally posted by noahsweetwne

This night had turned out to be the worst. It had originally been a night you’d been waiting and anticipating for for a really long time, even if it had been delayed and winded down countless time’s each time your boyfriend cancelled on you, you were still excited.

You two month anniversary, which was now closer to being three, was what you were celebrating tonight. Your two month boyfriend, Archie Andrews had promised an exciting night where it would be just the two of you and celebrate all that had happened. It was also the perfect time because it was summer, and with Archie always being so busy with his dads work, getting him alone was hard.

But then it’d been delayed. And delayed. And eventually it was after the incident with Jason, when your date was finally set to actually happen. It had turned into a dinner date at Pop’s rather than whatever Archie originally planned, but you didn’t care so much seeing as you loved the place. The milkshakes were to die for.

It felt odd celebrating after the death of someone who’d been around your age, but you told yourself you deserved it after waiting so long. And you’d been so excited, picking an appropriate but beautiful dress, and done your hair up nicely. You were practically pouncing with excitement when you’d left home. 

Now, though, all that had deflated when an hour alter you still sat in Pop’s alone and with no sight of Archie. Those around you questioned you with concerned looks and Pop’s himself had come over asking if you’d like to just order without Archie or if you needed a ride home, but you refused. Trying to convince your crumbling heart that Archie hadn’t stood you up and would walk through the doors any second. 

But he never did. And it hurt. So much. After weeks of being sympathetic and understanding towards him and his constant cancelling and rescheduling, you felt your heart break just a little bit more at the realization that he didn’t care for you the way you thought he had. And maybe you fooled yourself think he’d cared for you these past two (three) months.

So when Pop’s walked over, his smile of pity doing nothing but make you feel worse, you grabbed your purse. “Hello, sweetheart.” He greeted and you smile at him softly.

“Hey, Pop’s.” You greeted, waving at him. “I think i’m gonna head home, I-I…” You had to stop yourself as your voice cracked desperately, you’d amazed yourself even that you hadn’t started crying yet. “I’m sorry for holding up the table for so long.”

Pop’s smiled reassuringly. You’d known the older man for a very long time and you always appreciated his kind attitude. “No problem, Y/N. Take all the time you need.” He said, rubbing your shoulder comfortingly. You grabbed your purse and moved to step out before a sudden figure sped past you and you heard a huff of breath.

Confused, you turned to see Jughead Jones sitting in the seat in front of you. His computer by his side as he smiled awkwardly at you. You blinked, not sure what he wanted. You’d never really talked to him, he always sort of stuck to himself but him and Archie were friends, or had been. And anytime you walked by him he’d given you a polite hello and a warm wave. He’d always seemed nice enough.

But this didn’t explain what he was doing now?

Pop’s wore the same baffled expression as you both looked at him expectantly. “Jughead?” You whispered and soft voice cut out, tilting your head at him waiting for him to explain.

“Sorry i’m late.” Was all he said, adding to your confusion.

“Huh?” You whispered. Hand stuck on your purse.

“The traffic was bad and I hadn’t meant to be late for out date, but I was and for that i’m sorry.” Date? You furrowed your brows, eyes narrowing in absolute confusion, not quite sure what to do.

“Son, I think you’d got this wrong.” Pop’s tried, staring at you for answers which you couldn’t give.

Jughead tore his gaze from you, turning to Pops with a dry look of amusement. “We’ll be good now. She’ll have a strawberry milkshake.” And with a final look towards you, Pop’s walked off and went to complete your order.

“Jughead?” You asked once alone, the boy turned to you. Shaking his head as a much more serious expression became over his face. 

“Archie is an idiot.” He said, shaking his head. “for standing you up like this.”

You stayed silent, letting go of your purse as you tucked a strand of hair behind your ears. Frowning at your lap, “yeah.”

“Listen, I know we’ve never talked and your date stood you up. But I was wondering if you’d like to spend the next hour with me instead?” Jughead offered and you felt your eyes widening in shock. You’d never heard of Jughead, the outcast, inviting anyone to sit with him or hang out with him. It was undeniably sweet and you felt yourself blushing as a strawberry milkshake was placed in front of you.

Nodding thanks, you waited for Pop’s to leave before refocusing on Jughead. “Why?”

“Hm?”

“Why are you doing this?” You asked, not understanding his intentions. No one had done something so sweet for you, not even Archie.

“I’ve seen you, you follow Archie around as he barely pays attention to.” He explained, staring into your eyes with a look that told you he knew something you didn’t. “And despite standing you up, you’ll accept his apology.”

You opened your mouth, ready to defend yourself, before you realized what he said was true. Archie had done this a few times and each time your forgave him. 

“But I know what it’s like to be stood up by him, Y/N. And i know how much it can hurt. So, I thought that instead of brooding about it alone, I would brood about it with you.” 

With a sudden smile, you felt your cheeks warm and you nodded. You’d never pegged Jughead as someone sweet, he wasn’t a bad guy but this side you didn’t know existed. And secretly you were glared, this was better than going home and crying, and he seemed genially sincere.

You let your lips find your milkshake and you took a sweet gulp of it, enjoying the taste before smiling up at Jughead. “Then let’s brood together.”


Remember you can now request Riverdale imagines, so please do so! Hope you enjoyed!