or something that only exists in the past

maxxiekin  asked:

What's the best way to find peace?

Our minds tend to wander back and forth between the past and future all the time; the peculiar thing about this is that we exist neither in the past, nor the future. Time is something of an illusion; we have only the present. Invite yourself to step away from the regret of looking back, and the anxiety of looking forward. Stop running back and forth. Be still… exist now. Rest your thoughts for a while.

it’s important to remember we’re a community and nobody is better than anybody else because of the amount of zeros on the end of their follower count

i felt the need to say that because (especially recently) i get a lot of people telling me they feel left out and upset because yeah favouritism exists and in the past people have let their follower counts go to their heads as if it defines their worth or makes them famous or something

there should be no weird hierarchy or cliques this isn’t high school most of us come on here to escape that shit

we share a mutual love for two giant nerds who love us just as much and that’s the only thing that matters here

we’re just people who blog and have fun and laugh and make friends and that’s all this should be - fun.

you’re all rad as heck.

“Some part of me didn’t want to know what manner of creature, exactly, she was.
“So if we get into a brawland I rip off her necklace, she’ll roast and eat me?” He chuckled.
“No—Amren would do far, far worse things than that. The last time Amren and Mor got into it, they left my favorite mountain retreat in cinders.” He lifted a brow. “For what it’s worth, I’m the most powerful High Lord in Prythian’s history, and merely interrupting Amren is something I’ve only done once in the past century.”
The most powerful High Lord in history.In the countless millennia they had existed here in Prythian, Rhys—Rhys with his smirking and sarcasm and bedroom eyes …And Amren was worse. And older than five thousand years.
I waited for the fear to hit; waited for my body to shriek to find a way to get out of this dinner, but … nothing. Maybe it’d be a mercy to be ended
A broad hand gripped my face—gently enough not to hurt, but hard enough to make me look at him.
“Don’t you ever think that,” Rhysand hissed, his eyes livid. “Not for one damned moment.”” A Court of Mist and Fury, chapter 15

OK but can we talk about something??

Remember the scene: Napoleon eats a sandwich listening to some Italian song and then saves Illya from under the water. Remember that song.

Peppino Gagliardi - Che Vuole Questa Musica Stasera

I don’t know Italian but my sister’s friend translated this song for me
Here it is:

“I need this music tonight
It brings back something from the past
The Moon was our companion
I felt that you are mine
Only mine
Only mine.

I would like you to be here with me
Now, when there’s nothing between us anymore.
I would like to hear your words
The words that I will never hear again.

The whole world doesn’t exist anymore
Because of the happiness you gave me.
What should I do now
When you are gone?

I need this music tonight
It brings back something from the past
It brings back a bit of your love
It reminds me of you”

So this whole song is literally about love and about missing this love.
Got it?

NAPOLEON FUCKING SOLO SAVES ILLYA FUCKING KURYAKIN FROM UNDER THE WATER AFTER HE HEARD THE SONG THAT ACTUALLY TELLS HIM “YOU GONNA MISS YOUR LOVE”
SOLOYAKIN IS THE BEST OTP OH GOD IM SO FUCKING DONE

The signs as things my friends have said at two a.m.

Aries: Am I the only one concerned with how much alcohol this dog has imbibed? 

Taurus: Why is the past tense of “grab” “grabbed?” Shouldn’t it be something more fun, like…I dunno, “gribben?” 

Gemini: I hope you realize that I’m not even a little bit interested. 

Cancer: shUT UP YOU ASSHOLES I NEED TO SLEEP

Leo: Okay, but…what if…what if we just…ordered like six pizzas…right now…

Virgo: Do anime characters know they’re animated??

Libra: God, your stupidity amazes me! It’s like a whole new level of stupid I didn’t even know existed!

Scorpio: Quitters don’t fucking quit. 

Sagittarius: *loud sobbing* 

Capricorn: Pineapples are so weird. I don’t trust them. 

Aquarius: See you next water time, you fucking assholes

Pisces: I AM A DELICATE FUCKING FLOWER 

10

“Bibi Ji, aap kisi ko dhoond rahi hain?”
“Baba-”

‘Are you looking for someone, ma’am?’
‘Father-’

h e a t h e n s // part 1/? (k.t.p.j.)

Summary: You were born into a family of normals, the only one with something different about them. It was a curse you turned into a gift- a gift you hid away, never to be seen again. But years later, it seems you can’t escape its past. Someone comes looking for you- looking to make you the leader of a group of delinquent villains, the nastiest that exist. 

You were never one to say no. 

Genre: Action//Romance//Angst//Comedy

Word Count: 7,494

Group Members: Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung 

You: Captain Flag (Fem.)

“Forgive me for my wrongs, I have just begun.” 

Keep reading

Authenticity & Wyrd

There’s no such thing as Authenticity, or being Real as opposed to fake. No static boundary to cross, no goal to make. To suggest that there is a quality, distinct and clear, is to misunderstand the fact that Being is continuous. This is not post modernism - on the contrary it is pre-modern in nature.

There’s a rushing sense to it, like trying to catch silver fish in a running river with your bare hands. The moment you grip it, the fish wriggles, changes. The water cascades around you. All the sensations impinge and impress upon you, but they are there one moment, and then gone the next, replaced by something new.

Authenticity always hearkens to the past, to the moment when you finally realise what a thing is - except by the time the realisation forms, what spurred it has gone.

The only solution to this problem, such as it is a problem at all, is to note that the Primordial exists as a kind of Never-Was.

Insofar as Never can be described as a specific species of negation, the Never-Was negates the past as fixity.Instead of fixity, we are presented with Fate that is not oriented futurewards - indeed, there is no futurity. There is only the Primordial, which itself is a mere label since there’s actually no numerical sense involved - no primary, secondary, tertiary etc.

But what manner of Fate are we describing, this thing which is apart from our notions of past, present and future? In this, we consider the premodern word  Urðr,  from which we derive wyrd, and weird.

Wyrd is not past, present or future. Indeed, in old texts like Beowulf, it is said wyrd always goes as it must.

In this sense, wyrd, fate does not conform to past-present future - even when we factor in  Verðandi (happening) and Skuld (debt/obligation/consequence) we are not experiencing the same tripartite structure.

Even gods are bound by wyrd - which is to say there is an inexorable process occupying what we might conceivably visualise as as a simultaneous Before-Between-After and yet permeating all events, too.

Therefore, there is no distinct Authenticity, there is only wyrd, and in considering this, we are faced with the possibility that our actions are not our own alone, but also the actions of every entity within the kosmos. Our actions may in fact be the description of negative space - our lives are like the air inside a lung, shaped by ‘outside’ forces and yet influencing those forces though the air seems apparently empty space.

In this, we approach again, the Nietzschean amor fati. If God is Dead (insofar as God is understood as a singular moral arbiter and guarantor of so-called explicit ‘order’, rather than some specific Abrahamic deity) then we are liberated from notions of linear progression. Instead of a single line, we are presented with a vast manifold, a cornucopia of options which, paradoxically to our modern minds, require deliberate intensity - wilful Dionysiac engagement with all events and occurrences, beyond all notions of so-called Good and Evil, Real and Fake.

And this is not easy. Indeed it is the hardest labour of all, to  see all events as but Images, endless protean iterations of wyrd, each one a portal to all others - an entangled web gleaming with burnished illuminating darkness.

This does not mean that all things are equal - indeed it demands we engage with all these Images anew, differently each time, on a case by case basis. The seeming lack of guarantee of value does not, and never has, levelled the landscape of existence into a marketable, democratized form. Instead, we are driven to seek that value, as a people entering an unknown land must explore it in order to find those resources which will allow them to live, and live well.

By embracing this Terra Incognita, we face death, annihilation and loss. Our fears are our daemonic companions by which we might find the dragons we always dreamt of, unlocking ancient serpent wisdom - the knowing-of existence itself.

We would do well to consider the words of Philip K. Dick:  “The symbols of the divine show up in our world initially at the trash stratum.”

The unwanted, excreted, exiled, the thrown-away, the impure and the monstrous - all these are cast out, and in that casting are imbued with a Beyondness, shot through with alien Outsiderness.

As exiles, they become messages and mediums carrying the previously unknown, the forgotten. They are the first place the Wyrd breaks through - as evidenced by the works of Jeffrey Kripal, Mutants and Mystics: Science Fiction, Superhero Comics, and the Paranormal in particular

We ourselves are patchwork creatures - inheriting genes, speech patterns, beliefs and tastes in many different endlessly inventive iterations. If one were to slice our lives into pieces, it is doubtful each piece would recognise the other as itself,. All we have then, is the wyrd of it, the unutterable strangeness of our own existence, our own experience, which of course is not our own, but an Image composed of all the kosmos coming to be within the localised envelope of appearance we call life.

It is in this highly localised  environment that the kosmos reveals itself, each moment brimming with daemonic creativity, mirthful tricksy divinity. that mocks and pokes fun at our dearly held notions of matter, space, time, morality and perception.

It is that wriggling silver fish, that rushing stream, the chill in your bones, the hunger that drove you to even try. It is the cry your mother made in the moments before your birth, the last rattle of your own breath as you die.

Vast, immeasurable and irrational, seeking to lead you on a wild goose-chase into the woods with the faeries. The fleeing deer who catches and kills its hunter with bloody velvet antlers covered in carven magic spells meant to bewitch so as the laughing god might have true, honoured sacrifice.

It’s the lights in the sky that dazzle the eye and violate the laws of physics with criminal intent, the old stone that writhes all mossy under your fingertips, the whorls and lines catching starlight in a net and letting it loose in bottomless pools wherein lie maidens waiting to drag you down to the underworld.

Strange and terrible charlatan magi in feathered cloaks and broad-brimmed hats howling barbarous words while birdheaded scribes stain stone with hieroglyphs that last for tens of centuries. Thieves, liars, illusionists, pariahs and poets.

And it’s wyrd, this raw strangeness, this sly and terrible hint, this cold-edged spine-burn of tear jerking, gulping joyous immensity. This vertiginous yawning gulf of momentary knowing  which passes understanding and comes to bring sword-peace and pulsing, surging life.

Enough to wake the dead and have them climbing from their tombs and dancing, all foxfire-illumined in the cavernous starry gulfs. Look careful there, and you might just catch your own face amongst them, shorn of care, before you’re whirled and spun and struck by the awe of their ever-presence - sent madly careening through the fields of your own doubts, laughing all the while. 

Then, chilled by the dew upon your skin, on the morning after the night before, cold grey comedown will make you wonder, make you reason, make you seek some rhyme and rhythm as it all recedes.

And that’s the way of it - rationality pours concrete over starry meadows. Day after day, you might be faced with that greyness, until one day, it seems that’s all there is. So that’s when you sit. When you seize the concrete, when you rake that plane with the sheer stress of your regard. Seize its pitting and its pattern, its grit and its surface, and then, as its imperfections swell, its brutalism cuts and bruises your heart, let yourself bleed. Let yourself mourn. Let yourself howl for the forgotten things you think you have lost.

Then:

Aye, and then, there’ll be that single, stunted, broken blade of grass, parched and browning. Exhausted, fallen, a crippled corpse severed from its fellows. Stabs deeper than a knife, that blade - delivers a mortal wound, so it does.

In the moment, its all too much. You die, or some part of you does. It falls away, crumbling away. Lies there, curled and brown, circling grass around some outcast dream that can no longer survive the desert of existence.

Except..where did that grass come from?

From whence sprang that tiny thing, in all this field of blankness and sharp edges?

Look again, and its gone. Look thrice though, and you’ll see it’s not alone. On the edges, in the neglected parts, there grows scrub, there grows weed and thorn. Raggedy, out-of-place, having no home here, no right to be present.

How in all hell does it survive, you might wonder?

Even weeds have roots. Beyond what is seen, down and down, they stretch into the earth. They are everywhere, and this is just a metaphor, an analogy. A story, a lie - and yet, well..

Wyrd, innit?

lunchmonkey64  asked:

Hasbro's pre-release publicity shots always make transformers look so sturdy and glossy/satiny. Mine do not look that good. Do they oil them up like bodybuilders, or what?

Various reasons! For a little over a decade, from Energon to halfway through Combiner Wars, they would use airbrushed/photoshopped/touched-up images of the toys, to give them a shinier look, though untouched photos made using production samples of the figures also existed and would often be used online. One my favourite examples of the “dishonesty” of this is this Universe redeco of Vector Prime - airbrushed on the left, untouched official pic on the right:

*brown noise*

Today, the images used toys’ packaging, which are usually the earliest official promo images released online, are actually CG renders of the toys, rather than photographs of the finished product. But again, official stock images do exist that get used online. Compare Titans Return Galvatron:

Another common occurrence in publicity shots in the past, which is something that today we tend to only see when toys are in-person at Toy Fair, for example, is that the figure could be a painted prototype, rather that one cast in coloured plastic. As such, the all-over coat of paint can make the figure look much more glossy than it will be in its finished state.

Thank You - Scorbus one-shot

fanfiction?? what’s that?? oh yeah haha I still write stuff

This is supposed to be a chapter for something much bigger but I really liked it and I have posted anything in ages so here ya go

Scorbus and dad Draco was one of the only good things that came out of TCC and I’ve kinda been living and breathing it for the past few weeks so this sort of just spilled out of my brain in an hour enjoy ~

Keep reading

2

Look, y’all know what we’re like by now, so @thefairfleming​ and I present:

The Stallion Who Mounts The West*, aka the Jon x Dany Crack Western AU: an OTP: Here’s A Thing Joint

Fandom: A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones
Pairing: Jon Snow/Daenerys Targaryen
Rating: Gen now, but will probably get filthy because that’s how we roll
Summary: Jon is a lonely rancher, isolated, tormented by past love. Dany is a dispossessed drifter, looking to reclaim what’s hers. Sexy hijinks ensue.


* - sorry**
** - not sorry

~

It’s like something out of a movie. The sort of movies Jon’s always scoffed at, with their romanticized versions of a West that never existed, one with noble cowboys whose guns only ever shot a villain’s hand no matter where they were aimed, winsome ranch wives and attractive drifters, no racial strife and none of the tedium that comes with setting fence posts or battling an endless variation of pests. All dream and no reality. All hat and no cattle. A drifter is as unlikely to be attractive as he’s likely to be an escapee from the prison down the interstate.

But as the woman riding at a slow clip down his isolated drive comes into focus, Jon realizes he may have to reevaluate his ideas on the relative appeal of drifters.

Keep reading

10 Tips For The New Healers On Earth

1 - If you are stressed or emotionally upset, before taking action or saying something ask yourself “What is my intent?”, establish what energy you want to contribute to the situation, and base your decisions off your answers.

2 - Don’t get upset with yourself over “Lack of progress” or “inadequacy”. If you are feeling you aren’t achieving what you are supposed to be it is because you have become ensnared in the chatter of your mind. There is no such thing as a future or past, there is only Now and nothing can exist outside of Now. You are already enlightened, you create this reality moment by moment, and are always doing your best. You are the cosmos experiencing a growth in self awareness in the limited form of a human being. So sit back and enjoy the show.

3 - Spiritual development doesn’t have to be laborious work. The main forces behind the impact of your healing practice(s) are the mastery of your visualization and intent. There are many ways to improve both such as reading a fiction novel, creating art, writing, any fun activity that stimulates your imaginations and gives you focus. If you aren’t having fun, what’s the point?

4 - Raising the vibration of your consciousness and becoming a healer isn’t about being happy all the time. There is much to be sad about in the world and all emotions hold their purpose and place. Healing comes from a place of balance and acceptance. We become dis-eased or dis-harmonized when we are imbalanced, aligning ourselves toward one polarity. Light and dark are not at war, they are two comparatives on a spectrum whom mutually require the other in order to exist. This is because though apparent opposites, they are two halves of a whole.

5 - Love comes from the self first. How can you expect to love and take care of others if you can’t love and take care of yourself? Many of us have been raised with the false notion love takes sacrifice and martyrdom. As humble and honorable it may seem to take on another’s suffering to “lessen their burden”, often suffering is purposeful and is an opportunity for learning. By refusing to allow the fool to persist in his folly you deprive them of this opportunity, simultaneously sacrificing yourself causing detriment on both ends. The most effective forms of healing will always heal both parties.

6 - As a healer it’s easy to take on more than you can handle, and stretch yourself thin between social obligations. Remember to take time to yourself to rest and rejuvenate, you can’t perform to the best of your ability if you’re exhausted all the time.

7 - Healers of all practice tend to have a psychic empathy with everything in their surroundings. Because of this we are susceptible to adopting foreign negative emotions and thinking patterns. If you find yourself abnormally stressed or upset try to think of a possible external source of this emotion as you could be empathizing with a distraught friend or family member in your proximity. Becoming aware of these external forces helps you maintain your own space and learn to identify your feelings more clearly.

8 - Whether you practice your healing through reiki, crystal work, meditation, or even conversation, the tools and practice of your work holds no power within itself. Rather the actions and objects act as a focus through which you channel the healing energy. This is what allows for such a wide variety of healing methods. Again the true source of your power lies within your intent.

9 - You do not have the power to evoke change or healing in an individual who is unwilling to receive it. You can tell people the solutions to their problems from an outside perspective all you want but it is always the responsibility of the recipient to do the processing of the healing themselves. You are only a facilitator, a catalyst for healing to occur in your space, but you can be no more than such.

10 - The most important healing work you can practice is on yourself. We are each individually responsible for our own progress and development. There is only one consciousness, source consciousness, of which every “I” is an embodiment. You are pushing the universe forward one life at a time, and this is the main life your attention should be focused upon.

I always found some sort of beauty in a girl with scars, regardless if they were on the surface of her skin or in the depths of her heart. Such markings made me feel more in tune with her and her world, even if I didn’t know the stories behind them, only because I was reminded that she was someone like me—a human being who has suffered. And in my eyes, those who were able to continue in existence were always the ones that I found the most compassionate and understanding—something I rarely witnessed in those who were able to enjoy their life without the weight of their past dragging them down. It was like strolling down a dark and narrow path and finding someone to hold hands with. It didn’t matter where we came from and what we had to go through, or if we were lost or on the verge of losing ourselves. All that mattered was that we weren’t alone.

Just a general FWI about Jewish Tradition- based as a response to things I’ve seen online and outside tumblr in the past few weeks. (Note: My cultural background is with conservative and reform synagogues only. All of this may not hold for more orthodox practices.)

If you are visiting a synagogue and you are not Jewish, do not wear a Talit. It’s religious garb that has holy connotations, and it’s not something to violate because you think it’s a ‘pretty scarf’ or you’re 'just respecting the culture’. Even Jews do not earn the right to wear one until they have become a Bar or Bat Mitzvah. To do so otherwise… It’s mildly sacrilegious.

However, please feel free to don a kippah (yarmulke, skull cap, whichever vernacular you choose to use is fine), regardless of your religion. You are in no way told to do this, but with this it is a sign of respect, and for those that are more spiritual, a sign of separating yourself from God (whatever your interpretation of that may be). It has no specific 'rite’ of passage to wear these. (However, if you’re unsure, ask one of us. We like questions.)

Just keep these in mind next time you visit a synagogue.

A Letter To A Loved One

To Whom It May Concern:

I’ve lived a life of many highs and lows. When I was a child I desperately wanted to grow up and be among the bigger kids; in the present I couldn’t disagree with my younger self anymore. I do not want to progress anymore than I already have because I believe that I have reached my prime. I’m aware that my view will change but I can’t help but feel nostalgic which causes me to fear the future because my present will become my past and I will miss it. I’ve learned a little late in life that only the present truly exists. I say late because it is relative to my view but from the eyes of a superior I am still young. I never found my group of people that I could actually call my good friends which I regret. I think it’s mostly because I have trouble creating friendships due to my social anxiety. This leads to me to another finding, if you want something in life you have to chase it. Things will always settle and play out somehow, and people will always show up in your life, but if you don’t take action you have to become content with what you have and not complain because it was you who chose to remain passive. I hope that one day I will be able to find people who truly understand me and make me happy. You have to learn how to become happy with your own presence before you can really embrace others so I think I have a little longer to go. What I do not have interests me more than what I am able to obtain as well. I think I subconsciously go for what’s harder to grasp because it holds more value mentally. I noticed this is very relevant in all aspects of my life: love, social, and my goals. I’m not entirely comfortable with my sexuality but I have come to terms with it for the most part. My friends know of my preference but I have still chosen not to tell my mother. Not because I am scared but because I do not think she is emotionally ready for it. It’s hard for me to write this but I feel like my words wouldn’t be complete without it. I kind of just like who I like male or female. I am more so attracted to positivity and loving individuals who seem to be alive and not drifting like a lot of humans do. I can’t take risks that have the chance of severely destroying my sense of security and belonging although I hope to change that one day. Currently I am flooded with emotions, a lot of which I cannot fully explain but I enjoy them because I know that I am alive and when I do find someone I will feel love stronger than most people do. I dislike the fact that I fall for individuals too easily. I’m constantly trying to get over someone new which is funny and sad to me at the same time. I think it’s because I want mutual love and a relationship that changes my present. I could be filling some sort of void and that strong urge mixed with physical attraction creates a powerful infatuation. I jump from people to people and constantly go through this painful cycle because everyone that I do like is unobtainable. One day I hope I will be able to settle down with someone. I do like the fact that I am able to find the root of many of my problems because my extensive knowledge on myself. A lot of people aren’t fully aware of their consciousness and live a life without questioning themselves or what’s around them and that really upsets me. This mindset breeds ignorance and leads to a very unfulfilled life but they will probably be happy because they weren’t aware of  anything more, that is why people say ignorance is bliss. I’ve found the more you know about yourself, others, and your environment the more susceptible you become to pessimism. There is no excuse to have a negative outlook on life. I am getting better with my point of view but my mom criticizes me and thinks i’m being a jerk sometimes when I really don’t mean to come off as one. I also discovered everything and I mean everything is perspective. I came to this discovery when I came to ———–. Each year I came back to this school I felt different. The “vibe” of the school changed every single year and then I realized that every separate person views this school entirely different. The general physical view is the same but the way it makes us feel is unique to the individual. This applies to every place you’ve visited. This feeling is developed by every encounter, smell, and thought, almost everything you experience while being in that place. I could continue writing for pages that most people would get bored counting to in their head but i’d rather not bore you. In short i’m not entirely sure what I want in life yet. I’m playing some sort of game where I chase things that aren’t real. I place characteristics in people that I do not know as well as places. I think a lot of people do that. I remember when I was younger I viewed LA and the music industry as a giant white city unaware of what it actually looked like. It became much more appealing mentally. This reflects what I do on a more drastic scale and i’m glad I can recognize what i’m doing I just need to find a way to fix it. Live for today and not tomorrow because tomorrow isn’t promised. Most of your problems come from your perspective learn how to change it. Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read my last words. I hope I was able to help or bestow some type of knowledge to you.

Drunk Lips and Snake Hips

TITLE OF STORY: Drunk Lips and Snake Hips
CHAPTER NUMBER/TITLE/ONE SHOT: One Shot
AUTHOR: freudensteins-monster
WHICH TOM/CHARACTER: Loki
GENRE: Humour, Erotica
FIC SUMMARY: Sigyn returns to Asgard after a month away only to be greeted by a very drunk, and very amorous, Loki.
RATING: M
WARNINGS/TRIGGERS/AUTHORS NOTES/FEEDBACK/COMMENTS: I whipped this up this evening after @ladyaudiophile assaulted me with an awful, awful prompt. It’s unbeta’d - you can yell at me later. And the title is… meh, but I was struggling to come up with something. Also… Hello to my new followers and thank you to my existing followers - all 1800 of you - Enjoy! xoxox

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Is Natasha over 70 due to taking something similar to the super solider serum? I've read some comics that mention it but some that don't. Is it canon or not?

Natasha isn’t a super soldier but she doesn’t age normally. This isn’t uncanon: her 616 relationship with Winter Soldier relies on a shared Cold War past that has been referenced as recently as last week’s issue of Thunderbolts.

But it is something that comics will only mention if they want to. Some writers are really interested in Natasha as a relic of a dead era, or a metaphor for the Russian century. Others want to tell more immediate, contemporary stories without the complication of “lol surprise i’m actually 80.″ And both of these storytypes kind of co-exist without acknowledging the other.

As a reader, you learn to not to think about timelines.

Wen considered the nature of time and understood that the universe is, instant by instant, recreated anew. Therefore, he understood, there is in truth no past, only a memory of the past. Blink your eyes, and the world you see next did not exist when you closed them. Therefore, he said, the only appropriate state of the mind is surprise. The only appropriate state of the heart is joy. The sky you see now, you have never seen before. The perfect moment is now. Be glad of it.
—  Thief of Time by Terry Pratchett
Strong.

Before I found D/s, I had no knowledge or opinion of it. Like many things around me it simply existed.

Since exploring this amazing dynamic, I have learned a lot. Not only about the dynamic but about myself. So many people think a submissive is weak, unable to make their own decisions. I’m sure many wonder how we ever remember to breathe. In reality a submissive is especially strong. Something Sir has helped me to see is that I am incredibly strong. Stronger than I give myself credit for. 

The past few days have been emotionally challenging. Making me question a lot about myself. What am I doing here? I’m a hot mess who somehow holds everything together. Why does He stay with me? This morning, my world felt upside down and I couldn’t adult in any way shape or form, let alone as His submissive. Today when I told Him I needed to disconnect He, in true fashion, understood and supported me. And I know when I’m ready to come back, when the tears are gone, He will be right where I left Him.

I’m still in awe of how this Man gets it. Gets me. To say I feel lucky doesn’t do it justice. This is why I’ve chosen to submit to Him. He complements me. He picks me up when I’m feeling down. He reminds me of all that I am and all I can do. He is mine.