or so people in this situation know they have every right to get out of it

Damn you brain for thinking thoughts that I think I thought?

So I can’t speak for other poly people, but ever since I started this lifestyle and more specifically started dating my girlfriend, I feel like my mind is constantly running a million thoughts for every second of the day. I’ve become my own devils advocate. I constantly worry about if what I’m doing is “right”, or if one day’s these people that I love are gonna grow to resent me or hate me.

I’m a planner. I always have to know what I’m doing and how I’m getting from point A to B. I find myself thinking about how I’m gonna handle a certain situation before it even arises. For example, one of the boyfriends request is that I always come home and never sleep out. However this was said when I was dating, now that I’m more serious with the girlfriend he agreed that he’s ready for that step, but wants to meet her first. Not only am I nervous about the meeting but I’m nervous about how the boyfriend will take his first night alone. So naturally my brain is coming up with all these horrible scenarios and then I start the downward spiral of depression and thinking I’m a shit person for making people I love go through this.

When it comes to polyamory, there isn’t a guide line. There is no how to manual. Sure, there are plenty of resources that I have seen/read/visited but sometimes I wish I could find someone in my same exact situation and pick their brains. Poly relationships come in endless possibilities, each with different structures, agreements, etc. and each one is unique. I can’t stress enough how much all this is worth it tho. When I’m with my girlfriend my brain turns off and I’m able to enjoy our time together. I think about how fucking lucky I am to have these two people that love me and let me love them.

Sadly tho, I find myself having more bad days then good, mentally speaking. No matter how many times each of my partners tell me “I’m happy you’re happy we’re happy everything’s okay” my brain just wants to automatically assume how much of it is true and how much of it is just them saying whatever to make me happy.

Sigh, brain why won’t you just shut down for a bit and realize it is possible to be this happy!


There is people out there who have the same problem I have had. To the girls and guys who are having this problem like me listen to this. Do not let the person who have destroyed your life win. You have to win. You have to get control of this situation. There is people who have experienced worst problems then I did. I don’t know what happened to you but I’m by your side. I might not even know you but I’m here with you. I believe you can get over this. I will be by your side every step of the way. To the people who are still going through it today I feel so bad for. If I could do something I will help each and everyone of you. I will put those people in jail. None of you deserve to go through that. Sexual assault is not funny at all. I would say more about it but I can’t think of anything right now. If any of you want someone to talk to I will here. At any time of day. I will give you my number and you can text me or call me about it. I don’t want you guys to be scared on telling me. I will help you and be there for you.

drinks & juicy stuff

Treating Matt with drinks so he wouldn’t talk Grandma Sadie into stopping to make cakes for him… Sometimes Justin couldn’t help but wonder how on Earth he would get himself in this kind of random, bizarre situations. Not that he had anything against it, on the contrary. People who would take his bullshit ways during the conversations and allow it to grow into something serious – a scheduled basketball game, dancing the night away, having drinks… - those were the ones he loved getting to hang out with and try to get to know better. It was even more convenient if he had met them before, so right now Matt seemed like an absolute perfect candidate on every spot on the list.

He wasn’t exactly thrilled to leave the comfort of his and Mila’s room, but Justin refused to think about it because of one simple reason: he couldn’t get too attached to the roommate life, because soon they were going to back to their usual lives. Not allowing it to get far would only be possible if he was indulged into activities with other people, as well. It was a logical, rational conclusion, and yet he had to remind himself of it much too often for his liking while he was getting ready for the bar. Once finally there, half an hour earlier, he ordered a tequila shot because he got shamefully thrilled to see that they served his brand, and had time not only to finish it but switch to beer too by the time he spotted Matt. “Hey, man! Sorry I started without ya. Although, by your promise to carry me back to the room I suppose you don’t mind?” Chuckling, he pulled Matt into a hand-shake-slash-half-hug type of greeting, returning back to his seat while pointing to the available one right next to it.

( matthewbomerbw )


Whole opinion abt this thing

Here’s what I think: that Twitter account is just trying to get a rise out of people. They’re trying to get attention, and make people go even more insane with their crazy theories/speculations. I don’t know why this fandom is taking it so seriously. How many times has this happened, where someone makes a Twitter/Tumblr accoung pretending to have “private information” about the boys? It happens almost every year. Don’t let it get to you, because you’re only letting that account win.

And for the Louis situation: yes, I do think we should have some confirmation if it’s true or not. But then again, it’s Louis’ private life, and he has the right to keep it private. If he feels like he should tell us, then he will. Be patient.

- Heidiee.

You know that anxiety feel? The one where you feel like you have to add extra justification to your every preference because people seem to read every aversion or reluctance to do exactly what they want you to do as “the anxiety talking”? Where sometimes it’s too exhausting to stand behind your choices as valid in their own right and so you sometimes go along with someone’s assumptions of you as too weak/delicate for a situation just so you can get out?

It’s been several years since I’d say I “got better”, but I’m still haunted by the ghosts of that. Every time I apologize for the things I want and self-effacingly joke about how “unadventurous” I am, they’re there, lingering, shaping me in their little way.

amena-williams asked:

✴, ❤

✴ - An angry text

[text]: why don’t people understand personal space?
[text]: literally every other seat in the fucking library is open but this kid feels the need to sit right fucking next to me
[text]: if I had asthma I’d be fucking dead because this fuckboy is wearing so much axe spray
[text]: like seriously go choke on a dick

❤ - A heartfelt text

[text]: You know you mean the world to me, yeah? I mean, I don’t know what I’d do without you. I don’t want us to ever get like those friends who just stop talking for no reason or let something stupid come between them. Because without you I wouldn’t have anyone to talk me off the ledge or get ice cream with me at all hours of the day or someone to bail me out of awkward situations or someone that doesn’t make me feel like I’m crazy and the world’s spinning too fast. 
[text]: I just never wanna be without you because I love you more than anything
[text]: And I like when you play with my hair, but that’s besides the point

So much pleasure that it feels like pain.

Do you have a sensitive gag reflex?

Where are you the most ticklish?
The backs of my knees. Whisper likes to whisk her trail across them every time she comes to get pet.

Can you manage to tickle yourself?

What was the last situation to upset you?
I very much don’t want to talk about it yet. I’m not at the point of processing it properly even.

Have you ever had an online argument?
LOL yes. I don’t know how I got dragged into it, but some people are unbearably dramatic online.

Keep reading

this RM thing really blew up. obviously what he said was so wrong and i really hope that he gives a sincere apology very very soon. BUT some people are being super childish and immature in this situation. you should be using your time to tweet RM on twitter and ask him for an apology. educate him. don’t spend your time sending him death threats, saying OT6, or that BTS would be better without RM. hey, newsflash, if it weren’t for RM, we wouldn’t have the BTS that we know and love today. some people are even skipping RM’s parts or editing them out… wtf? i get you’re upset with him, and you have every right to be, but really? do you really think it’s necessary to edit out his parts? that is just so ridiculous to me. you can’t fight fire with fire. educate him, ask him for an apology, whatever. but please stop sending him death threats, removing his parts from their songs, and saying things like BTS would be better off without him. why don’t other idols get this kind of treatment when they have said something (or more than one thing) problematic? it’s okay to be mad at them for a day and then just brush it off?? why is RM any different? it’s not cool to send anyone death threats, so stop. you have every right to be mad at him, but don’t stoop so low.

Charity case

So, we have this woman come in every other week like clockwork. She brings in large amounts of food and try’s to return it WITHOUT A RECEIPT claiming “oh I don’t know why I bought these no one will eat them” . Okay well what’s the big deal right? Usually with cases like this, we can offer in store credit. But half these items that she brings in ARENT EVEN SOLD IN OUR STORE. The first few times my manager agrees to give her some in store credit for the items that we do carry, but as it persists we start to look deeper into the situation. Turns out she has been getting food from our local food shelf and trying to return it for money. (Which she usually try’s to buy cigarettes with). This is a whole new level of low, I hope you’re not depriving your family of food for your addiction. I get it , some people smoke to relieve stress & that’s fine . I’m not bashing, but if it becomes this big of a problem you need help. & I hope she gets it


Sometimes I wish to die physically, because emotionally I’m hurting. I want a way out of this situation I have right now, and the only way I can think of is to kill myself. It’s just that there are some people who’s making it hard for me to leave this world who keep on hurting me inside. It’s so hard to leave my parents because I know they’ll be sad, and there’s always this thought that someone’s been waiting for me for a long time and I can’t let his hope die. Not yet. Plus, God. Every time I try to think of dying, He always makes me cry. There aren’t any words. I just can feel His presence, and He keeps on telling me not to do it. He keeps on pursuading me that I’ll eventually get over my situation right now. I just have to be patient. And yes, He always win the argument. I always let Him, because I love Him and I trust His plans on me. I just pray that He’ll never leave my side and that He’ll increase my faith in Him more and more. Oh God! Help me overcome my unbelief.

I know what’s gonna happen. Right when he’ll start slipping out of my mind “for good”, he’ll write. I have never been a child of light emotions or situations and so I feel that fate has planned this meet quite in the same pattern as the rest. I am certainly sure, that that perticular way takes a tool on my heart piece by piece each time, but I would contradict myself, if I’d say I didn’t love every time it happened. I have always said my life and experiences with love have been like cut-out from a movie script or a book bestseller. And I am proud of that immensely and feel very lucky. For not a lot of people get the chance to feel what I have felt and be around all these people and different situations. I am, I repeat, in fact, star-lucked by God. And I will try to make the best of it. 

Just Speaking Objectively...

It’s not the easiest life to live when you’re constantly faced with life altering decisions with life altering people, but somehow I get by. I think the hardest part in including someone in your story is hoping you have enough room for them…hoping that the story works out for them, even at the cost of someone else’s happiness. And that sucks; to know you’ll never be truly sure you’re making the right decision. This applies to so many aspects of my life; from family, friends, love interests and even myself. I think I spend more time deliberating the pros and cons of every decision I’m faced with than actually enjoying the situation itself. It’s kind of depressing if you ask me–to be so consumed with the end result that you forget to just be human and be happy you’re alive to even embrace such moments. I guess I’m ungrateful…

“Forget Love, I Just Want To Make Sense To Me Tonight.”

Sometimes, I forget to make plans on Saturdays because those were our days together. There hasn’t been one day where I don’t find myself wanting to pick up my phone and tell you something funny that happened in my day and then hear a joke that you would make following my situation. Most nights since you left, I stay up fighting the urge to drive over to you just so you can lay on me and I can scratch your head until you fall asleep just one last time.

I went shopping on Saturday, and I’m pretty sure I did horribly because I didn’t have you with me to make fun of my taste in clothing. In these last few weeks, I’ve been asked out and hit on by a few people, but I’ve turned every single one down because I have no interest or energy right now to get to know anybody new. Every single day that I get to wake up, my stomach feels knotted and my chest feels heavy with regret and heartbreak. I can’t stop listening to Copeland, Anchor & Braille, Lianne La Havas, or Death Cab. And there are nights when I feel my mind is going to drive me insane by repeated telling me all the ways I’ve screwed everything up yet again. 

But as hard as this part of letting go is, I promise you, I’m pushing through it. In the end, I know that I gave my best in every way that I could in loving you this time just like I had done before. And I know that you did the same for me. When I open up my iPhone to look through my photos, your face is scattered in so many places. Most people would have deleted every photo by now, but I won’t this time because I know that when I’m older, I’ll want to look back and remember the person that helped mold my mind into what it is today. The only person to ever truly be my favorite even when he wasn’t around. I mean that. 

I don’t expect for us to ever reconcile from this because big loves don’t usually do that. We got lucky this last time to even last this long. After our last conversation, I lost any hope of you being my last love. I’m not even sure why I’m writing this anymore to be quite frank. Maybe I’d like to say goodbye for the last time, but I have a feeling this isn’t the last time I will be saying it in a form of you never reading this. All I want to say is that I entirely miss you. Every single day that passes by. And whoever you find next to love is going to be the luckiest person in the entire world. I know she will be. I don’t want to live life without you. I never did. From the moment that you became mine at the age of fifteen, I knew that you would always remain my favorite love and it remains that way now. I’m just sorry I couldn’t be yours…

How To Get The Right Custom Trade Show Exhibit Design
By Phyllis Schroeder

As an entrepreneur, you recognize how important it is that you get you products marketed and exposed the right way, you know ho important it is that you get the word out there every time you have something new that you can offer to the public. This is always the reason that you relish those opportunities when you are invited to get your booths presented in trade shows and exhibits.

What you are hoping to achieve this time is a setup where your can generate the most positive buzz about what new products you have. You have to understand that the best way for you to achieve this it trough the use of appropriate custom trade show exhibit design. The both you will present should help get you enough exposure so people will notice what it is that you have in store for them.

Plan things out. People often forget that the best way for them to avoid getting into situations where things do not turn out the way they want to is to always have them planned out to beforehand. If hey want to succeed in getting the designs right, then planning things weeks before the event is always the best approach to things.

Set your budget. You want to know how much is the budget that you can spare for the booths that you will be putting up. Always focus on those figures that are considered to be reasonable enough to allow you to get something really good out of the whole project, use this opportunity to, to ensure that you will spend just about the right figures to get very ideal results.

It matters that you get a booth that will say exactly what it is that you want to say. You need to consider the goals that you have for establishing and setting one up. It matters that the way it is styled and designed is going to reflect the goals that you have beforehand. This is important so you are confident that you get a look that is exactly going to help get the message across.

Your theme needs to reflect the kind of brand that you’re offering too. You definitely need to be sure that you are able to present your products in the best light as much as you can. You need to convince people that yours is a product worth patronizing, worth buying. See to it that your message is not lost in all the glitz and the glamour of the booths that you’ll be setting up.

See to it that there is going to be visual impact as well. You need to find out ways that you can get the both designed to be as eye catching as possible. No, you do to need it to be the fanciest looking there is, you just need it to have the right flair, the right style that will make it easier to notice by the people who will be attending the event.

Make sure that you will hire the experts to assist you too. One of the best things about having the experts assist you is that they have been doing this for a long time. Hence, they can be expected to do a really good job of getting everything set up the way you want them to be set up.

About the Author:

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The Different Benefits Of Cellulaze
By Olive Pate

As a future and curious patient, you would have to know what you would be getting out of this surgery. Keep in mind that this would already concern most parts of your body. If you would not be ready for all the consequences, then you would only be miserable while you are trying to recover from what you have done.

To begin with, you will be glad to know that this process has already been approved by the experts in your country. You can ask every doctor about cellulaze Somerville and you will constantly get two thumbs up. So, there is really no need for you to worry that much when you can have everything under control.

You would have long lasting results. If you would be with the right people, then you would not have to go back to the same clinic anytime soon. You would be able to enjoy what you have paid for and that is the kind of situation that you deserve to be in. If not, then you have wasted your money.

Your operation is something that you will have to go through once. So, it is safe to say that this is a one time investment. That signifies that you will be able to make everything work. You simply have to finish what you have started and be happy with the results that you will be seeing in your body.

Your treatment will be nothing that you have experienced before. Be reminded that you can see this as a once in a lifetime opportunity. Thus, learn to weigh your priorities in this part. If you will be that attentive, then you will soon be able to come up with the right decision and that will be beneficial to you.

Your skin will glow evenly and that is the day that you will be able to say to yourself that you are indeed beautiful. Be reminded that there is nothing wrong with wanting to have a better appearance. So, there is nothing that can stop you in here for as long as you have the necessary funds.

Your skin would be stronger than ever. You can be scratched and the line would not show. You would be able to keep your flawless appearance and just imagine how great that can be. So, you would just have to be selective with the clinic that you would be going to and that would be it.

You will heal in just a few days. Take note that there is nothing major that will be done to your skin in here. Those cellulite will be removed and that is how you will have a clearer skin in the process.

Overall, you just have to get the best team in Somerville, NJ. Also, try to set aside all of your fears inside. If you would do that, then you would have a smooth flow with everything and that is exactly what you require for you would be under a medical operation anytime soon.

About the Author:

You can visit bodychicmedspa.com for more helpful information about The Different Benefits Of Cellulaze.

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