or so people in this situation know they have every right to get out of it

I’ve been extremely busy these last couple of weeks and will continue to be for a large portion of the upcoming months. I don’t know how often I will get to post on this profile considering my new crazy tour schedule, but I wanted to leave you all with this. If there is any proof that life can change in the flip of a coin is this image right here. I woke up today bummed out and I’m going to bed having met an unbelievably, sweet, uplifting girl named yelyahwilliams . Sometimes things don’t go the way you want them to (for example I think this image is not exactly all in focus) but that doesn’t mean the outcome of the situation won’t be positive. Watching all day people come up to this young lady asking for photos, and seeing her each and every time respond with a smile or hug absolutely took me back. Many would say that it’s easy to stay happy when you have so much attention, but I would argue differently. It is (at least for me) very heavy and tedious to stay happy after meeting so many people and hearing about their problems/stories. Watching Hayley respond to everyone with such kindness reminded me that being happy is a choice; You always have a choice. A choice to think about the bad or the good, a choice to walk towards brighter light or lie in the dark. The suicide sign project has never been about telling people what to do. I started this project to encourage people to think differently, to think happier; to remind them that if given time, things do change.
Thanks for reminding me of all of those things today miss, it was truly a pleasure meeting you.

the thing is, i know people are going to get really antsy about how jemma’s turned out after the events of the midseason finale, and i’m actually really interested in how they’re going to keep going with this

jemma, the wide-eyed, naive little science princess who saw everything as an opportunity, who wanted to experiment on, and understand, and revel in the majesty and wonder of new found science is so trapped in grief that she can’t see past the horror and devastation that all of that brings with it.

how many good things associated with the word “alien” or “powers” have happened? how many bad? in the end, jemma’s lashing out, and it’s the first time that she’s actually been allowed to do that. and it’s raw, and it’s painful, but it’s real.

the fact is that everyone’s expressing their grief in different ways. for jemma, it’s shutting down every opportunity she once saw and replacing it with facts. alien = bad. that’s what she’s seen, that’s what she’s understood, that’s what she’s dealing with.

and how much is she dealing with. a hell of a lot. so, in the end, she’s going against what she’s known all these years for a new approach, because christ, everything she’s done before this has lead to pain and misery. why the hell not?

i’m so interested to see where they’re going to take this. with fitz almost taking over her role as “healer” (at least for skye, and if not healer then confidante), whilst she takes over that pessimistic “i can’t deal with change” standpoint. is fitz going to make her come to her senses, or is she going to stick with what she knows? or are things going to go even more haywire?

WHO KNOWS? THAT’S THE FUN OF IT, RIGHT?

I have a lot of feelings (about 4x13)

I’m screaming.

This episode.

I’m so tired.

Very subtle about the “people never change,” Arrow writers, very subtle. (A+ to Charlotte Ross for her immediate change in attitude, glorious.) 

Here we have Oliver desperately trying to change, clinging to the idea that he’s changed, that he’s better (with every fucking person pointing it out to him), because Oliver is the kind of person who commits. He’s gonna be good, he’s gonna do better, so that’s who he is… except for, you know, one giant ass lie, which I’m sure he’s justifying by putting the blame at Samantha’s feet. (I get that, I get that, he feels out of control and he doesn’t know how to handle it, doesn’t understand his rights or the situation, whatever - but it’s still not the man he’s purporting himself to be right now.) 

Then here comes Noah Kuttler, lying left and right, and basically confirming that people never change, which is especially heartbreaking because Felicity wanted to believe him. (I have so many issues of my own that I’m finding myself thinking, ‘What if he’s telling the truth?’ I don’t know if that’s a bleeding heart or me just reverting. But… it does lead me to wonder if they’ll use him as a stepping stone to bringing the idea of people can change to close at the end of the season, as a way to help close the gap between Olicity… Huh.)

Oliver’s blind naive attitude when it comes to Malcolm is exhausting. He’s trying to find the better path, but in doing so, he’s turning a blind eye to the very real danger in front of him, and that’s not counting Malcolm unveiling his giant-ass lie, it’s counting the fact that he’s putting innocent people in danger: his son, and his mother. I need a life lesson this season for Oliver to realize there is a balance, something Diggle touched on - you can’t be all bad, just like you can’t be all good. Malcolm needs to go. (And what makes it harder for me is that I get why he didn’t want to, I see what he’s doing, but it’s all projection of his own fears, he’s applying his own fears and insecurities on everyone around him and he’s trying to find ways around them, because part of him knows that he’s messing up, that he’s not the person he’s claiming, and so he’s trying to save everyone else except for his damn self, as usual, and unfortunately that’s leading him right down the path of destruction. Oh Oliver.)

(And are they thinking because the League is disbanded that the marriage is officially null and void now? Because that lack of resolution after wielding it like a weapon in and of itself tonight nearly made my eyes roll out of my head.)

Lies, lies everywhere, holy fuck, the lies. This entire damn show is built on lies and they are doing it justice.

Still…

There were so many lovely Olicity moments tonight, so many, the kind that give me hope that this shit will hit the fan and splatter, but that it won’t irrevocably break everything…

I absolutely screamed when Oliver said, “Will you marry me?” 

(Mostly because I knew exactly what Malcolm was doing, and I was thinking, ‘This is your time, Oliver, you better treasure this moment because this won’t be lasting.’)

(Look at the differences between them, oh my god, this is high heaven to my shipper heart and I’m so mad at Oliver, because he’ll be taking this away from me.)

Treasure her, Oliver, because you can’t lead two separate lives - did the first three seasons of Arrow teach you nothing? - and expect her to understand.

It’s just like this damn hug…

A beautiful moment, but it’s tainted because of this huge life-altering thing he’s keeping from her.

Oh Oliver, please don’t make me sit through a scene where Felicity tells you that you haven’t changed, that you’ll never change, because I will cry for 23 years and just live in a wine bottle.

Whew.

Okay, I feel better.

I did enjoy this episode, quite a bit. I didn’t like some things (I can see the theme, and I can begrudgingly accept it, they were building on with only Oliver beating Malcolm - which was hot as fuck, I love that they are remembering he’s a badass and sexy as hell fighter, please beat up bad guys forever, Oliver - but if you think I’ll believe that Nyssa couldn’t beat Malcolm’s ass, you’re wrong), and I liked a lot of other things (Laurel was on-point tonight, when she, Diggle and Oliver stood between Malcolm and Nyssa, that was gorgeous; Felicity is always amazing, but her scenes with her dad were heartbreaking and painful and so perfect that I don’t want to watch them again; Diggle is the rock, he will always be the rock, nobody touch Diggle…).

I do think they are doing a great job building up the tension around William and Oliver keeping it from everyone, I really do. They’re dropping foundation blocks left and right for why Felicity will not be okay with this, as well she shouldn’t be, because one, that’s a huge lie, a huge lie like that is never okay, not ever, we shouldn’t accept it just like Felicity shouldn’t accept it, and two, it’s another character growth moment for Oliver and this show is, after all, Arrow. So when the lie surfaces, and he’s faced with losing his entire world (both Felicity and William, because I’m pretty sure Samantha won’t be pleased when this hits the news circuits), he better grow, and learn, and change - become the man he’s so desperate to be by accepting his lies, accepting the penance and working on the things about himself that he doesn’t like. Like fucking lying.

So, next week… are we thinking they save the building and end the episode with Oliver debating with Ruvé Adams, only to have her drop the bomb about illegitimate children and if Oliver Queen can’t take care of his own child, then how can he take care of Star City?

Dear god.

The pain is starting. I love it, but I hate it.

HOLY SHIT

I’ve never had a post get so many notes in so little time. Everyone here should know that what I did there is something EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU CAN DO. I’ve heard varying reports from other callers that the operator is now simply spewing racist slurs at virtually anyone who asks for answers.

Ferguson police have proven, if through nothing else, that they have the mental capacity of third-graders when it comes to being called out on their bullshit. Instead of saying, “Sorry, we’re not accepting questions right now”, they seem to be enjoying this whole situation way too fucking much.

The line I called is the non-emergency police line. It is manned 24-hours a day, and calling them will not inhibit people calling the 911 dispatcher from getting assistance. If you don’t want to call the Ferguson non-emergency line, try contacting the police chief directly. All of the contact information is available to everyone right HERE.