or red kids room

if you all ever need a good laugh, always remember that eustass kid thinks he has the ability to kill shanks

Being Natasha Romanoff’s Adopted Daughter Would Include...

Characters: Natasha Romanoff X Daughter!Reader

Universe:Marvel, Avengers

Warnings: None

Originally posted by veronicalocge

-          She kept you away from her work for a long time.

-          You only figured out she was Black Widow when you answered the door to Captain America.

-          “Mom who did you kill?” “No one, why?” “Captain America’s at the door.” “Nat since when did you have a kid?” “Shut it Freedom.” “Y/N, be nice.”

Keep reading

Dont want to control your brat? I'll have your car towed

So I went to the doctor today for a check up physical. Well a woman parks in a spot near the door that says “No parking anytime. Car will be towed at owner’s expense” or something along those lines. Well she rushed in with 2 kids so I gave her the benefit of the doubt that maybe something major happened. Well I head inside and find them in the waiting room and nothing seems wrong. I sit there and soon regret forgetting my earbuds because her 2 brats were making so much noise and she wouldnt tell them to stop. Other people looked annoyed too and someone spoke up “please control your children” which she replied “they are children they make noise!”.

Well after a dreadful 30 minutes or so the noise did not stop. A staff even asked her politely to quiet the kids so she said a half assed “use your indoor voices” and of course that didnt do shit. So I knew what I had to do. I went over to the receptionist (or whatever you call the people at those booths to sign in) and told her, quite audibly too, that there was a car parked out there illegally. And I know the woman heard me because she was giving me death glares but I pretended not to notice. I was soon called into my appointment. Afterwards I come out to the waiting room to see the woman’s red faced and tears, kids still be obnoxious brats. I wonder what happened so when I go outside, sure enough the car is gone

TLDR; Woman illegally parks and disturbs everyone with her obnoxious kids, I get her car towed

Unprofessional - Moriarty x reader

Originally posted by sherlockjw

AN: This is my first time writing Jim smut so be kind. I’m not sure I like it and I might change it but for now enjoy!

Summary: You’re the copper who is in charge of Moriarty and after he’s announced as innocent and let free he pays you a little visit

Word count: 1,480

Warnings: Some strong language, unprotected sex (wrap it up kids), teasing, it’s pretty tame because it’s my first time writing smut with this character

You thought they were joking when they assigned you to Jim Moriarty. The man who tried to steal the crown jewels, broke into the bank of England and turned off the security at Pentonville prison all by himself. 

You were normally given the small criminals, the one’s that anyone could deal with, not the world’s bloody biggest criminal mastermind! 

Keep reading


This is a (VERY LATE) holiday fic for my non-fandom writing group SS, flutterby_cupcake_26 on AO3.

It’s SoMa. It’s sweet, sad, and sappy. I hope you find some enjoyment even if it’s not your fandom or pairing, and I’m so so so sorry for being the worst latest SS EVAH!

Thanks go to @sahdah for the eyes, the film suggestion, and also for doing a silly awesome thing when we talked about no shave November.

Sahdah’s no shave November post can be found here.

Read on AO3 or FFN.

Fuck no shave November, that’s all he has to say. Fuck no shave November, fuck Black Star for goading him into that ridiculousness, and most of all, fuck Maka for being so damned earnest, and so damned cute when she’s so damned earnest that he never has the heart to say no when it actually matters to her. Not that he really denies her anything much ever.

No, really, fuck Maka. He wishes. Which is probably the reason he’s in this mess. Well, more like sappy, gross, sentimental feelings. Refer back to that whole generally-forgets-the-word-no-when-she’s-around thing.

The girl is definitely trouble.

With an exaggerated sigh, Soul scowls at his own face in the mirror. Yeah, alright, he’s got a nice, full, white beard since he’d been too lazy to shave it off right away. And his usual mop of white hair under the silly red velvet cap. And a soft red suit now stuffed at the belly. So maybe he can pass for pop culture Santa, except the whole red eyes and mouth full of oddly sharp teeth that make him look more like Satan than Santa–hey, only a few letters off, really.

He grimaces at his own reflection, and actually, that’s better than the scowl that would surely send kids screaming for the hills. Makes him look just that bit less like the devil posing as jolly old Saint Nick.

“So are you coming out?” A voice calls from the other side of the dressing room door. Is he? No. Definitely no. Being seen in public this way, even in a lame costume shop smack in the middle of a run down strip mall, is surely some form of social suicide, good bye cool, goodbye dignity, goodbye self-respect.

“Yeah, whatever,” he says instead with another exaggerated sigh, his inability to say no to the girl on the other side of the door biting him in the ass for the umpteenth time this month alone.

Taking that last step to the door, Soul twists the knob and haltingly swings it open.

Ah, there she stands, his reason for the season, his cruel, cruel mistress, leaned so casually against the wall that he might be looking for new jeans rather than sealing his social suicide. Not that he’s ever been much for people. Goodbye, cruel world!

“Oh my god, Soul, you look–you look–”

Her grin is stretched so wide across her face that he’s sure it has to hurt, green eyes sparkling, and his heart does loop de loops in his chest cavity. Yes, Maka is trouble and he is in trouble, as usual.

“–Ridiculous?” Soul says before she can, the scowl firmly back in place in spite of the way her smile does funny things to his insides.

“I was going to say ‘adorable,’ but just at the moment, with that sour puss, you look like you want to maim me.”

Well, he sort of does. Not maim, but mark, maybe. Touch definitely. Then again, he always wants that with her, the unobtainable, so that’s easy enough to tamp down on. No, even more than that, just at the moment Soul wants to wither and die, or maybe disappear, anything to diminish the humiliation he feels as two teen girls trying on some sort of skimpy elf get ups come out from another dressing room and start giggling his way.

“Whatever.” He shrugs as Maka glares at the girls, and unlike his scowl, that sends them scampering back into their dressing room. Go figure.

“I told you this wouldn’t work–can we go now?”

“It’ll work if you can refrain from glaring at the world for a whole hour of your life.” She saunters up and puts a hand on his chest, stroking the material of the fuzzy red coat. Maka herself has donned an elf costume–short festive dress, pigtails, ears. She looks adorable. His scowl softens considerably at her proximity.

“Doubtful.” Soul offers her a flat stare.

“Do it for the kids?”

This earns her an eyeroll even if he knows she knows that yes, he is a marshmallow on the inside, and yes, he would indeed humiliate himself to make sick kids smile even if no one else on the planet but her might realize that. Well, maybe Wes, but he’s not here to back her claim.

“Then do it for the reward?”

“Reward?” He’s already going to do it and they both damn well know it, but hell, may as well get something for the trouble and complete loss of cool.

“Mmm hmmm,” she hums and smiles sweetly. “I’ll bake your favorite cookies.”

Maka’s a good baker and pretty much never bakes. His stomach rumbles at the thought. “It’s a start,” he mutters.

“And…” Her hand continues to stroke at the material of the red coat.


“I’ll let you pick the movie tonight. Any movie, and I won’t say a word. Or retaliate.”

Well, that’s also something. It’s not his turn, and even when it is, if Soul picks something he knows Maka won’t like, she will pick the worst historical romance bullshit she can find the week after. There’s only so much coy flirting he can take, really, and the trite classical scores always give him childhood flashbacks he could do without.

“Getting warmer,” the concession is grumbled.

And, I’ll rub your back while we watch the movie.”

Ding ding ding we have a winner! Movie, cookies, and backrub with Maka. She’s hit the trifecta, and fuck it all if that sly smile doesn’t say she knows it.

Well, then.

“Fine, you win,” he grumble-sighs, and it’s only half for show because while he dreads the next hour, he has an evening of bliss ahead of him.

In the end, Soul supposes, an hour of Santa suit purgatory is a small price to pay.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I mean sure, Nat and Bucky could have met in Red Room in MCU, like when Nat was just a small child, but why the hell does it need to turn into a romance later?? Why can't they have this unique connection, brother/sister father/daughter mix of things? Like, to connect properly after all that has happened and reflect on the past. I'd love me some proper Red Room Bromance.

right like, she was a kid in that room and the people that disregard that for it to happen in mcu are like ??? super gross??? she was born in ‘84 which means she’d have been like 10 when she was there.

so give me friendship from Buck and Nat, give me them bickering in russian like siblings, give me them annoying one another, give me them understanding the effect of Hydra more than the others. just don’t give me a romance bc it’s super gross thank u.

anonymous asked:

Yandere bois of your choosing react to their son who is clearly a mama's boy and would sometimes refuse to sharing their mommy?

Oh god parental yanderes.


Sans:  Most of the time he doesn’t mind.  He actually likes that his kid has enough of a backbone to stand up to him.  He ends up teaching his kid a few mind tricks.  But overall he doesn’t mind sharing you.


Red:  Sends the kid to their room.  After all, he had you first and if that brat can’t share then he won’t either.  He is actually really childish about this so you should teach your child to recognize when their Dad is angry and to go to their room when he is.

anonymous asked:

Not to also be a shitstain, but im not a huge comic reader, and I am behind: what is the deal with Nat saying "Welcome to the Red room." Like i know spencer wrote that and he fucking fucks everything up, but I want clarification. Why is this such a to do? (really not trying to brush this off, i genuinely don't know.)

I’m not reading that comic. I just saw a few panels.

My understanding: Nat is making an army out of kids and referring to it as the red room. According to Nazi Shitstain, it makes sense for Nat to do this because she was exploited as a child soldier.

This totally erases Nat’s entire character. At least the Nat that I know – I’ve only read the Noto and Samnee Black Widows bc Im not that big of a comic reader either tbh.

Nat’s entire deal in the Samnee run (her most recent before Nazi Shitstain got his grubby mits on her) was making amends for her past and also helping the CHILDREN who were part of the newest incarnation of the red room.

HhhhhhHHHHH friends I’m v tired and am not at all well-versed in the comics anud am totally not the person to field this question. Pls feel free to chime in.

Some things I used for a session I GMd on an rpg heh 

the group was tasked with helping some kids lost in an abandoned house, but once they were in the house they were met with a labyrinth of corridors, they were  able to rescue each lost child on different rooms 
the first, Ao (blue one) was in a room with some buddles of water and one big deep pool in the center with a little bit of floor in the middle of it, where the kid was crying
the second, Aka (red one) was in a room covered with black smoke, they couldnt see anything there, but eventually one of them found the kid sleeping in a corner
The third, Miri (green one) was in an old room, covered with vines, he was stuck under a bunch of debris and huge roots

once they took the kids to the exit they revealed to be restless ghosts, each infused with an element, reminiscent of the rooms they were found in, and the way they died  

finally the group was able to defeat them and get out, seeing now that the house was completely burned down, and according to people there, has been for years…

the session went well, tho a bit long, and the battle wasnt very good, but they said they liked the rest hah
they didnt have access to that map, it was for me to keep track of where they were and give them the options of where to go next, but they tried to keep a mental map based on the pieces I showed them, and that went pretty well 

anonymous asked:

No being molded into a assassin made her a monster, not having children was mentioned in a SINGLE line as a mutual tragedy both her & Banner have suffered as a result of their transformations. She wasn't just being randomly emotional about it her memories were brought to front of her mind by Scarlet Witch. Pay attention dumb fuck.

god I literally don’t care but you’re so obnoxious omg. her infertility is a plot point she has flashbacks iirc & the scene is abt not being able to have kids:

Neither can I. In the Red Room, where I was trained, where I was raised, um, they have a graduation ceremony. They sterilize you. It’s efficient. One less thing to worry about. The one thing that might matter more than a mission. It makes everything easier. Even killing. [she hesitates a moment] You still think you’re the only monster on the team?

‘Even killing’ is the only thing she says abt murder you weirdo the ‘monster’ line is intrinsically tied to her infertility. even if it’s abt murder, joss is such a bad writer that everyone i know who watched it tied those. there’s no lead-in. joss is just a bad writer who’s shit at dialogue & has weird hang ups about pregnancy. grow up & stop getting so mad abt a dumb superhero movie you arrogant creep

axiomatiq replied to your post: axiomatiq replied to your post: …

IT WAS SUCH A GOOD CHARACTER MOMENT FOR TONY! HE told Nat that she didn’t have to do this alone (fighting the other assassin), that she had friends. Tony is empathetic- he knows the shit Nat went through with the red room, and he wants to protect these kids. AND THE WRITER WANTS TO MAKE A CHEAP JOKE? THAT JUST MAKES BOTH TONY AND MARIA LOOK BAD??

*muffled screaming*

Leonard McCoy was the son and only heir of the McCoy fortune and god help him he had nearly passed out cold when his mother told him that his father was a wealthy man. 

They had always had money and were well off but he thought middle class not 1% of the Federation. 

The money is enough to get him a decent lawyer when Jocelyn files him for a divorce and enough that he gets shared custody of Jo. She might have well asked for the whole planet but he isn’t giving her their daughter. 

So he moves across the state and settles in at a hospital that isn’t as big as the one he served his residency in but isn’t the clinic he grew up helping out from either. 

And because he’s bored (and more than a little guilty to be filthy fucking rich) he becomes a member in the Federation Seeds Fund, a investment group of various members that fund projects from around the Federation. It’s something altruistic to do on the weekends he doesn’t have Jo. The kind hearted soul his mother swears he is takes pride in helping budding entrepreneurs. The bastard in him loves the way the funder’s board gets greedy and salivates when a Entrepreneur comes in with an idea that’s almost as good as starting Starfleet itself, or nearly. 

Except this particular Sunday has Leonard with a splitting headache and a need to take every one of the holo pitches and destroy their flashing colors and size ten font. The older ladies are tittering in the gossipy way his mother and nana frowned on from the back rows of Church. The men are half asleep and he hates it all. 

That is until the kid walks in the room. 

He’s wearing his Cadet reds and that is where his professionalism starts and ends. He has a scruffy looking expression, Leonard has only seen that kind of stubble in the mirror, and bright blue eyes. His shit eating grin is not one they’re used to seeing. They get nervous mouth twitching or friendly beaming. This kid looks at them like he’s the one about to hear their presentation. 

“Uh, Mr. Kirk is it?” Marshall Long, the meeting chancellor asks, sitting up and straightening the PADDs in front of him. 

“Yes sir. James T. Kirk.”

“And your project title?”

“Magic Wheat.”

“Excuse me?” Eloise Hawley, one of the tittering older ladies asks. 

“Magic Wheat.” Jim frowns. “It’s a working title.”

Leonard snorts and Jim turns his grin, replaced and full of shit-stirrer promises, on him. Leonard is surprised that he looks away first. 

“Ah, go ahead then.” Marshall instructs and Jim stands right in front of the holo, not to the side where most of the entrepreneurs start. 

Leonard almost shields his eyes, imagining what brightly colored font and presentation he’s in for with this one. 

But the first slide is blessedly devoid of graphics or font. Just lists James T. Kirk, cadet at Starfleet Academy and Magic Wheat (Working Title). 

“Did you know that there are over 1.3 million Federation citizens living on the edge of space on colonies that may or may not be facing poverty levels?”


“Did you know that it could take Federation and Starfleet aid services up to three to five days to reach any of the outlining colonies?”

Jim’s grin, turned into a straight pressed line as the statistics flashed up on the screen. 

“Did you know that often colonies are without proper protocol and early warning systems in case of crop failures?”

Jim’s finger clicking on the remote was the only warning before the images flashed up on screen. Emaciated children standing before a blazing field. 

The thirty odd people in the room had the same reaction, gasping, low murmuring, heads shifted to look away. 

Leonard could not look away. How could he shut out the iconic images he’d seen blasted out of holo vids and other media since he was sixteen and the newscast first reported the tragedy. 

“Did you know that these conditions have existed almost fifteen years after the Tarsus IV massacre?”

The next slide was the same calming blue and 30 point black font. “That’s the problem. Now the solution,” Jim said, making eye contact with Leonard and if he noticed Jim’s small nod, Leonard ignored it. Did he acknowledge that Leonard was the only one who didn’t look away? 

“What I propose is a genetically enhanced wheat that would be both a source of food but also a way to detect if the colony’s environment were to reject the growth…”

By the end of the ten minutes, it felt like longer somehow, Jim had finished early to a quiet and contemplative room (no one could have fallen asleep during that presentation). 

“Why not go to Starfleet for funding?” Leonard found himself asking. 

Jim shrugged. “Starfleet and I don’t agree on everything." 

Leonard raised his eyebrows and Jim grinned at him. That grin was going to cause him trouble he knew it. 

Two hours later and he somehow agrees to becoming business partners with the kid. He has no idea how that happens, how Jim nicknames him Bones or how he agrees a year later to move in with Jim to San Francisco because somehow business partners became best friends and then Jim’s introducing him to the Brass as his boyfriend and shut up Jim with a kiss when he asks if Bones got his money worth.